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View Full Version : Came Out to my Oldest Daughter and Youngest Sister Today



Christy_M
06-04-2011, 03:33 AM
Today started out fantastic. After such a great night last night telling my Dad and oldest sister, I could only hope that my next conversations went as well. My middle sister and oldest sister took me out to lunch in girl mode and we had such a great time together. They are really trying to help me be who I am and want me to feel comfortable about where my life is going. My middle sister made a couple of pronoun faux paus but they were incidental and she caught them at the time and self corrected. It was a wonderful afternoon.

From there, I un-girled to go see my oldest daughter. I was so nervous telling her but I finally let it out that I was a transsexual and would be living the rest of my life as a woman. She said "Dad, I love you and I don't care. A good friend of mine is transgendered and she let me do her make-up a couple days ago. I totally accept you for whatever you do with your life and since I am raising [her son] to just accept people for who they are, I have no problem with you being around him however you dress."

OMG, what a great family I have. I then went to my youngest sister's house to tell her. The first thing she asked me when I said I wanted to talk with her alone was "oh god, are you dying?" I said no and that hopefully this would be better news than that." After I told her she said "I would be lying if I said I wasn't shocked. I had no idea. I had heard from your ex-wife about it but I just chalked it up to her habitual lying. I love you no matter what and we will always be siblings."

What a great start to my weekend. I will tell my aunt tomorrow not as a "must do" but because I know she would want to know and I trust her not to tell my son before I get to North Carolina to tell him in person. My Son is the only one left to tell that means enough to me to worry about. I am scared of his reaction because the way he feels about this is more than likely the way I taught him to feel about this. I never wanted him to be like me in this way because I never accepted this part of me so during his informative years, I kept running away form myself and making sure he knew how macho men were supposed to act in the world. Hopefully the same level of understanding that my daughter learned was picked up by him, too. I guess I'll find that in the next couple weeks.

Melody Moore
06-04-2011, 04:46 AM
It sounds to me whatever unconditional love you have invested into your family is now being returned to you,
but you must be a good person for people to look straight past any hang ups they might have had with you
keeping secrets from them that they never cared.

Your son is probably going to be shocked because you are becoming something you taught him not to be. I
don't know how old he is, but I assume he is a young adult. So maybe just start by telling him how much you
love him & why it's important he knows the truth. Even I can tell you are a very humble person Christy & I am
sure you will be when you explain how you ran away from your problem instead of facing it head on like you
are now. Hopefully he will be accepting & I really hope he doesn't get angry - if he does, you can only walk
away & try talking to him again when he has cooled down. Let him know you will always be there for him no
matter what or when he is ready to talk. I think the giving of assurances that nothing will change in your love
for your child will keep them bonded no matter what. They might struggle for awhile & even avoid you, but
I think if those bonds are strong, then they eventually come around when they finally come to terms with it.

Anyway, I think your son sounds like one of your toughest challenges so far, but I am sure you will
get through this one - Good luck - I have my fingers crossed for you, but also feel it will all work out.

Katesback
06-04-2011, 10:36 AM
Telling someone your trans while presenting the MALE person they have always known is one thing. When they see the girl is the real test of what they think. A comparrison might be someone telling you they killed someone vs. actually seeing that person kill someone. BIG DIFFERENCE.