Years of trying

[Lacedoll]

I have spent years and thousands of dollars only to stop and start stop and start dressing. Yet now I feel more comfortable dressed fem than I do male.I have been serious thinking that I should have been born a woman instead of a man,yet I don't have any thoughts of the sexual nature towards males. What is wrong with me? I can't afford to go see a therapist, I can't even afford to replace my old fem clothes that I had given to goodwill. Who am I to turn to? My family is very against my feminization and where I live is very against it also. I really need some advice.

[Lisa365]

I feel the same way! I dont feel sexually attracted to men but i enjoy dressing up. At the end of the day you have to please yourself and not worry about everyone elses thoughts. Do what you want to do and enjoy!

[GMCD]

Are there any TG groups in your area? Look up your local LGBT center or maybe a Tri-Ess group. You are not alone. It's very easy to become overwhelmed by the weight of everything "trans" in our lives and there are hard questions to answer and you deserve to consider things in an environment where "being trans" is not a point of controversy.

I know the wonderful people on the forum here are here to help and support you and will do all they can. Hopefully they have even more information for you. I think you really need to talk to someone who will not judge you or try to change you, who understands your situation and your feelings, who can give you solid advice and the benefit of experience. A good friend who you can sit and talk to, since you seem to have no ability to access someone like a therapist may help you gain perspective.

It's easy to just say, "To H#@! with the world! I'm gonna be me!" but it isn't easy to do. Ultimately, you will find who you are and how to be who you are, but it's a process full of exactly the kinds of questions you're asking right now over and over again until you hit some ultimate truth you can live with.

I hope something in that is useful to you. Much love! *hugs*

[Vickie_CDTV]

Not all TS are attracted to men, it is not uncommon and one can be attracted to GGs and qualify as a TS. After HRT some folks start to have feelings toward men, but not all by any means.

[Danni Renee]

First off, there is nothing wrong with you. You are the way you are and we are the way we are. Our situations can be frustrating, overwhelming, sad, and depressing at times but that does not mean anything is wrong with us. I have spent years telling myself there was something wrong with me (and I am sure you have to) but I have come to the realization that I (and you) were wrong. We are fine just the way we are. We have to accept to move forward.

Being in the military, you can imagine how negative it can be towards us. I have to stay hidden. I am fortunate to have an accepting SO who helps me through it but I am still restricted from doing what I want to do and to be who I want to be.

In my opinion you have found the right place to start discussing your issues and to get the advice you need. You will find some of us in similar situations as your own. But you will also find those who have been where you are now, made it through in one piece, and are better for the journey.

As far as your sexual preferences and desires, one of the first things I read here cleared it up for me and I hope it does for you: your sexual preferences and your desire to dress feminine are not linked. They are two seperate things. Most of the girls here are heterosexual, just like you. So don't let that bog you down if you can.

Welcome to the forum and I hope it is able to help you like it has helped me.

[Wendy_Marie]

I count myself in the TG Lesbian crowd...I jokingly refer to myself as a Female trapped in the body of a Male who loves Females.
Nothing wrong with that at all..the hard part is finding a Gentic Female who accepts this and is willing to enter into a relationship with you and both of your personalities.

[Karinsamatha]

I understand the confusion. First off there is nothing wrong with you for being you. We are "wired" differantly from most other men. It can be a good thing. Nor do I have any real desire to be with a man - they are far to hairy for my tastes.
One of the first steps is to accept yourself for who you are inside. Which many time more often than not is much easier said then done.
Good luck and a big :hugs:.
Feel free to p,m me if you like.

[Staci G]

I am right there with ya. I love women and have no desire to be with a male, I dont like my male 1/3 as much as my 2/3 female personality so what on earth do I need another male for. For those that are bi, or gay, more power to you I give you all my respect. I would love to be in a relationship with a GG that accepts but they're few and far between I think. Wendy has a good description female lesbian in a male body, What a drag

[Karren H]

Growing up I tormented over that... "If I love to wear women's clothes and be feminine, why am I not gay". Then one day I just decided that there is nothing wrong with this... Nothing wrong with doing something you love to do... And its never going away... So I accept me as I am.. Even though I have no clue why.. And I don't care why any more. Because even if I did know... It wouldn't changer a thing going forward.

[BRANDYJ]

It sounds like you have repressed your feelings for a long time. You did not accept yourself for being a man that happens to like wearing feminine clothes and expressing your female feelings. Now you are starting to accept yourself...finally! Like others have said, there is nothing wrong with liking to be feminine yet desire to be with ONLY GG women. Frankly, it is more common then those that want to be with a man. I think very few are gay. Some are bisexual. But all studies suggest most of us are heterosexual. But forget that. Just accept you for who you are and realize you are far from alone in these feelings and needs.

[NicoleScott]

What is wrong with you? Nothing. Sex and gender are different.

[Lacedoll]

I have tried to contact a LGBT center and of course it is to far away from me to seek any help. I am still looking though.
Thanks for the help, hope to hear more from you gals out there.

[Dawn cd]

I can understand why it might be difficult to find LGBT support on Montana. So, for your own happiness Laci, maybe you should consider moving to a place where dressing is more accepted. It's cheaper than therapy. The only other alternative is to settle for something less than full dressing. Panties and hose with an androgynous top can still make you feel feminine. But either way you go, the women you have inside is authentic: don't shut her out. She will make you a better person.

Dawn Closetsub

[geri-tg.]

I think Karen Hutton nailed this one. I feel the same way.

[Breannah]

As everyone has said, its clearly far more common for us to be straight! if anything if your gay, your far less likely to be a crossdresser or transexual :) i have no attraction to males whatsoever past being mates with them in my everyday male life, and only have love for the females in my life. i, as do many others dream of being a lesbian not a straight woman. So basically theres nothing wrong with you and its completely normal :) xx

[BillieJoEllen]

Although I consider myself TS I am attracted to women. If I ever were to have SRS I know I would accept that and would have no hesitation being with a man if he desired to be with me. I wish the internet would have been around 30-40 years ago with all this wonderful information that is now available to us....

[Lacedoll]

If I could afford SRS I would do it in a heartbeat. I would definetly feel better and more comfortable with myself. I would still only want to be sexually active with women though. I enjoy a female's company more than a males. I will probably start living 100% of the time female when I move to a more cd/ts friendly atmosphere. Even though I will probably never afford SRS.

[GMCD]

A strong urge to do something isn't necessarily the best reason to do it. You may indeed be perfectly right in your desire to transition to being fully female, but I don't think that you've had the opportunity to properly consider every aspect of it which is why I again advise finding help of some kind. Folks on forums are very kind and will gladly give you all kinds of advice, but a forum is hardly the place to get solid information that is suited to your needs, concerns, and hopes. As someone who has transitioned and lived as a female for years at a time, I can't encourage you enough to find someone to discuss your situation and desires at length with. I'm not trying to discourage you from attaining what may be your only road to happiness, I really want for you to find the EXACT road to happiness for you and for you to be able to walk down that road successfully. I've seen too many instances where emotions and the repression of our true natures has led many a well-meaning person to do things that just weren't right for them because they didn't have the right tools to deal with their situations in the most positive manner possible. I know that takes time and that time seems like the very thing that's running out, but it's always better to be truly happy and at peace with life in the time we have left than it is to make a bad move in a moment and have to live with it's consequences for the rest of our days.

I'm probably a lone, unpopular voice in all of this, however. So, there it is, for whatever it's worth or not. Much love!