Cant understand why I feel the way I feel;

[charlen]

Hi all hope everone had a super weekend. I have problem I hope all you nice ladies can help me with? I have a very very acceptable wife she buys alot of my clothes . But my problem is this I am embarres to be total dress in front of her. I can have a bra panties on and myforums under mt guy things and not bother me .Does anyone else feel this way.::love:

[Danielle.N]

I was nervous the first few times my SO saw me fully dressed, even though she knew about years before we were together. She was eager to see, and it got easier each time. She buys items when she sees something I'd probably like, or things that may look good on me. Now its not a big deal, and she enjoys being in on it as well!

Does she want to see, or has asked why you don't dress in front of her? Communication is important. If she wants to be part of it, and you want her to, just ease into it gradually. If you would rather she not see/participate, talk to her about it - you will find an arrangement thats works for both of you.

[AllieSF]

I don't have that problem yet, because I am single. But I can understand it completely. Maybe you have been doing this in private and have not shared your "herself" with anyone that you know. Now they know and want to see, but it feels so strange, and you feel so vulnerable. Maybe it is because we want to share but are afraid that they might laugh, or that we make look like a fool to them and dampen instead of augmenting their interest in us. I do not know, but only do it when you feel that you are ready. Good luck and please keep us informed.

[Being Paige]

Well my wife isn't very accepting and that makes me feel uncomfortable at times! She makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong!!

[Tara D. Rose]

When I came out to my wife, I told myself that i would hold nothing back. It the only way to go. It leaves her with nothing more to ask. Or that maybe she will ask and then you will ahev to disclose other things. Lay it all on the line, everything, leaving nothing else for her to discover by way of more questions in the future or by you telling her , well honey there's some other things I need to tell you ,stuff. My advice is to tell her everything. That's what I did. And I have no regreats.I know from experience that it is the only way to disclose your cdrossdressing to your wife..Love & respect .Tara

[DeeDeeB]

I've been open with my wife for abour 9 years and still I'm occasionally somewhat embarassed to dress in her presence. It is clearly my hangup, not hers. I think it is a degree of discomfort with self acceptance. I'm working on getting over it.

And yes, we had a great weekend - saw the trotters at Goshen historic track (in drab, I'm afraid)

Best,
DeeDee :fairy1:

[marny]

If I were to believe you ,which I don't , you would be near heven. I think your pulling our chain. get off! marny

[AllieSF]

Marny, what isn't believable?

[Danni Renee]

I can't say that I am embarrassed to be dressed on front of my SO. She is fully accepting and buys me clothes and I enjoy modeling for her and getting tips. I look forward to eventually going out with her fully dressed.

Maybe your embarrasment comes because you have not fully accepted yourself. Or maybe it is because you do not present yourself the way you think you should. It is also possible you are carrying guilt about dressing or feelings you have while dressed that cause you to feel embarassed. Whatever it is I think communicating with your wife is the best hope you have of getting over the embarassment. Let her know how you feel and why and I am sure that she will help you be more at ease.

[joanna4]

same here. I have a friend whose a girl that buys a lot of my female clothes with me. I'm really comfortable with everything I buy but I would don't feel like showing her what I look like in it. Plus she doesn't ask too

[Diane Elizabeth]

I had the same problem. I think it was being afraid of not being accepted. I didn't want to be seen as a "man" in a dress. After the first few times I was okayu with it. My problem (along the same lines) is that I am self concious of dressing in front of her. I am sure this will pass too. In time you will become more comfortable in front of her. Don't know if she will be more comfortable seeing you dressed though. Good Luck.

[Karren H]

I chat with more than a few wives of crossdressers on FaceBook and MakeupTalk and they say that their SO's are embarrassed to dress in front of them.... And the wives don't want them to be that way but they can't get them to get past it. Seems to me you and they still have something deeply buried that still tells you that your doing something wrong... Hence your embarrassed..

[Anne2345]

Hi Charlen! Some of the responders have opined that you may still have some personal acceptance issues yourself, thus resulting in your feelings of embarassment while dressed around your wife. This is certainly a legitimate, sound theory. But let me throw another theory out here for your consideration.

You stated that your wife is very accepting, which is wonderful! Regardless of her acceptance of you, however, I doubt that she truly understands this part of you, and your need to crossdress. We hardly understand it ourselves, so think how difficult it must be for a non-crossdresser to comprehend.

When you dress, you undoubtedly view yourself, both internally and externally, in a certain manner. This view of oneself is important, it goes with the territory, and is a large part of the overall experience (at least it is for me). Subconciously, you may recognize that your wife, even as fantastic as she is, may not view you (the internally dressed you, in particular) in the way you view yourself when dressed. And if she is unable to view you as you view yourself, and she does not see and appreciate the inner you while dressed, through no fault of either of you, this may lead to your feelings of discomfort and embarassment.

[LisaKarenAZ]

If I were to believe you ,which I don't , you would be near heven. I think your pulling our chain. get off! marny

Wow. Really Marny?
I thought that this was supposed to be a place of support and empathy.
Instead, you lead off with an aggressive statement like this.

Honestly, I've kept to the sidelines because of attitudes like this, but this was uncalled for so I had to speak up.

This kind of post has been brought up in other threads, but I had to put in my 2 cents.

If you honestly believe that someone is posting a work of fiction, you'd be better off reporting your beliefs to a moderator, or just leaving it alone entirely.

[Debglam]

I chat with more than a few wives of crossdressers on FaceBook and MakeupTalk

What's "Makeup Talk" ????

[AllieSF]

Debglam, Makeup Talk is a forum for those interested in makeup. There are mostly women and girls there. Karren is also a moderator there too!

[Stephanie47]

I have a suggestion. I am assuming your wife knows all of your sizes. If SHE wants to see you en femme, let her go out and buy a complete outfit for you from inner to outer. Let her treat you to a luxurious soak in the tub, shave your body hair, scent you with perfumed body lotions. Let her do your makeup, fix your hair/wig. Lastly dress you completely. Then have a leisurely sip of wine together.

If she initiates the makeover, maybe you'd be willing to be seen by her.

[Jessica86]

Oh I remember those days. I finally sat down and analyzed why I crossdress, which helped me tell her. Its not normal by "public standard." So, when you feel that embarassment, its just embarassment of violating the "public standard." Finally, I said "This is my wife, not the public. It doesn't matter what they think. She loves me for who I am." I just did it after that. I know it sounds cheezy, but when you look at it, you aren't doing this to be accepted or not. You're doing this to show a part of who your significant other loves.

[carolynn2fem]

Well my wife isn't very accepting and that makes me feel uncomfortable at times! She makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong!!

BINGO. she wants me to feel like i'm doing something wrong. I cant appoligize for existing

[carolynn2fem]

When I came out to my wife, I told myself that i would hold nothing back. It the only way to go. It leaves her with nothing more to ask. Or that maybe she will ask and then you will ahev to disclose other things. Lay it all on the line, everything, leaving nothing else for her to discover by way of more questions in the future or by you telling her , well honey there's some other things I need to tell you ,stuff. My advice is to tell her everything. That's what I did. And I have no regreats.I know from experience that it is the only way to disclose your cdrossdressing to your wife..Love & respect .Tara

Hello Tara I like what You say but Ya can only be as honest as the other person wants You to be. when there cup is full it is foolist to keep pouring from the pitcher. Yes i would like to buy her 6 more cups and empty the pitcher but she hasnt drank from the first one yet. I'm stuck it the land of dont ask dont tell

[Cheryl T]

I went through that also when my spouse first ok'd my dressing. I was scared she would think less of me somehow and was embarrassed to be partially dressed or in the process of dressing in front of her. I wanted it to be me ... then Cheryl that she saw and not the process in between. Now that's gone and she's watched me dress, makeup, undress, the entire works and I'm so comfortable with it now it's simply two women changing...in my mind anyway. She's been great and made me feel so at ease with myself in all ways.

[Evie08]

What's "Makeup Talk" ????

http://www.makeuptalk.com/ A forum dedicated to makeup - Karren is a moderator there.

[Debglam]

http://www.makeuptalk.com/ A forum dedicated to makeup - Karren is a moderator there.


Debglam, Makeup Talk is a forum for those interested in makeup. There are mostly women and girls there. Karren is also a moderator there too!

Oh girls. . . Karren AND Makeup!!!!!! And I just started spending LESS time on the computer! This is bad. .