this is what happens when you do nothing...

[Kaitlyn Michele]

after a long corporate career, i left that life to be "me"..:heehee:

my plan was to figure out my next steps as Kaitlyn...bury the past as best i could and move on...

i am looking at multiple business ventures, and i can't decide...i am scared to decide...i have taken forever to consider my options..
i frankly never had my own business....and all i can see in front of me are risks..
I keep wondering what i don't know, i keep worrying about "what ifs" that i will never be able to solve in my head...

today i found out the person i was working with on my best plan doesnt want to deal with me now...i realize now i'm devastated...i feel like i really messed myself up...

the opportunity went away..

that's what happens when you do nothing because you are afraid..

[arbon]

How do you know the venture would not have been a total disaster that would have completely destroyed you? Maybe the reason you were dragging your feet was because something did not seem quite right about the deal.

Maybe one of the other ventures is the right path for you.

[Zenith]

Yah, I hear you. I had my world turned upside down towards the end of transition, and now I'm dealing with making a new start. The economy is terrible right now, and most new ventures are going to lose money. I think the key is to find something you enjoy, and take the plunge. It would be good for (us both). Ship is safe sitting in the harbor...but that's not what ships are built for...and whatnot...
:hugs:

[Longing2be-Trisha]

Hi Kaitlyn!

Everyday is a risk, I have had my greatest adventures taking risks of the unknown good or bad I would not change anything. The scariest part is the first step out the door. If your fellow worker is afraid of change maybe they were not to be in partnership with you and they would have held you back. Nothing scares someone more than change. Will be looking forward to here how your adventure goes as Kaitlyn.

Hugs

[Kaitlyn Michele]

thnx for the virtual hugs..

it was me that was fearful, he's gonna do it, and he's doing it without me...he viewed my dawdling as baggage, and frankly inthis case, i can't blame him...

btw...i am realizing that the business situation i just experienced has comparisons to alot of the people that go round and round in circles on their gender issues...it's one thing to say you are not transitioning and will make a go of it on a middle path , or to jump into transition no matter the cost..i'm not saying "just do it" butmaking (or not making) decisions primarily based on fears of the unknown is a bad way to handle things..

julie, i think you are right...i need to look towards things i enjoy and this morning i actually called off the other main thing i was working on because i felt i was only looking at the business side...i had zero affinity for it..so i won't do it...

back to square one, which kinda feels ok right now...

plus i learned a huge positive thing over the last months..which is that i am totally passing...i spent 5 weeks in very close contact behind a very small counter with multiple co-trainees and dealing with literally hundreds of customers... including teenage girls and it went great...no issues...the most interesting experience i had was talking to a couple about a proposal, and the wife kept interrupting her husband and saying "as a woman" and on the inside i couldn't concentrate on the content because i was so happy she communicating with me that way...

[GypsyKaren]

Kaitlyn, you've gone farther and shown more courage than any job or career could ever take you, always remember that. Things that are meant to happen will happen, that's why we keep plugging along until it feels right, and it will happen for you. You're "good people", and all things good come to good people.

Karen Starlene

[Zenith]

Quoth the sage "RUSH", "...You can choose a ready guide in some celestial voice
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice..." ;)

[Jay Cee]

If one door closes, another will open. It's the way of the Universe.

[AKAMichelle]

Fear is a great demon. It robs us of our lives and it did yours to a certain degree. I have owned my own business since 1984 and I have gone through one period for 2 years where I was scared. Luckily that went away and I came back. Now I don't have much fear left.

Your destiny awaits you. Don't worry about failure because that is easy to achieve. Go after your dreams with the same energy and vigor that you did your decision to transition and you will be fine. Good Luck.

[Hope]

Fear is what holds us back. It is what has held all of us back for our entire lives. It is still a powerful force - but I have realized that if I can do this (and I AM doing it!) I can literally do ANYTHING. There is NOTHING bigger or scarier or more risky than this.

And you are ahead of me - you can do it too.

There is a reality in the world - and it is becoming more and more true every day: It is easier to make a good job, than it is to get one. Go out, make your dream job. I am not in a position to do this myself right now, (and it sounds like you are) but I know that this is what the future holds for me.

[Phyliss]

In May of '92 I was given the chance to purchase a going business, and "fly" on my own. (sole proprietor, no employees) My thoughts were:
At my age nobody will hire me if I don't buy this. Gonna end up on unemployment/welfare.
I buy the busines and "make a go of it" great
I buy the busines and "fail" I go on unemployment/ welfare any how

I have NOTHING to loose.

With "nothing to loose" you have .... Nothing to loose and THAT is freedom to do as you wish .

[Starling]

Here's another virtual hug, Kaitlyn, and a devout belief that you will prosper.

:) Lallie

[Kelsy]

Kaitlyn, You are entitled to some uncertanties and mis steps But for me I will always see you
as a rock. You have so much wisdom and compassion which you share with every one.
In the end I believe in the law of resiprosity and you will fare well The love you will receive
will be much because of the love you have given!

Hugs Kelsy

[LisaM]

I live my life like Jay Cee wrote---if one door closes then another one will open up. You will find other opportunities if you remain open to them.
I opened my own business a number of years ago and it was both terrifying and exhillerating at the same time. It isn't easy and you can't stand still because you have to keep growing or you will fall behind and fail. Interestingly, people now want me to come and work with them but I don't know if I want to.....because it means giving up control. After a few years you learn to enjoy your independence and control.
Keep looking and you will find what you are looking for.