Unexpected Visit From My Boss

[Danni Renee]

So, I am off today (Friday) for a long weekend. I slept in and when I awoke I got on video chat with my girlfriend. She stepped away for a minute and while she was gone my boss calls and says he is on the way to my apartment...

For those that have see some of the pictures I posted, you know I have a very girly, pink bedroom. I am also in the military with all that entails. So when he called the first thing I did (after panic) was go through my apartment and throw all my girl stuff in the bedroom, closing the door so everything was hidden. I quickly scanned the room and everything looked good. I caught my breath and waited for him to knock.

It did not take long and he came right in and sat down on my recliner. He was upset at one of my peers and needed me to try and get a hold of the guy and get him into work. No issue - I told him I got it and he left. I went about my task of trying to call the guy and chatting with my girlfriend.

So an hour later, he comes knocking on the door again. He comes in and sits in the recliner again. Although I had gotten a hold of the guy he was looking for, the guy did not call my boss which made him mad and once again I had to fix it. No problem, stuff like this is my job. I fixed it and hopped in the shower.

Well, I am in the shower and he knocks on the door again. I am really trying to figure out what the deal is because he has been to my room only one time in the year I have been here. I know he is frustrated but come on! I yell and tell him I am in the shower and that I will call as soon as I am done.

And then it hits me.

I forgot one thing.

I was barefoot when he came in both times. Toe nails painted pink.

He did not say anything the third time I saw him (or the next three phone calls - it's been one of those days) but I am a little nervous. I am not certain he noticed (though looking back I think i saw him looking during the 2nd visit) and even if he did I doubt he will say anything but WOW. Being outed to my boss was never in my plans.

[Tina B.]

Danni, I hope your tour is about over, sounds like it's getting close to busted! I doubt the military is ready for us yet, they still have to get used to the idea of our gay brothers yet. I hope your boss is cool about it.
Tina B.

[TxKimberly]

Hmmm . . . wonder if the reason he came back so many times was that HE was trying to get up the courage to say something to YOU. LOL

[Emily Ann Brown]

Chill......as I understand it is not a sin to have painted toenails in your abode. But in formation may be a problem.

Em

[kimdl93]

It does seem odd that he'd returned three times on the same matter. Time will tell. Good luck!

[kendra_gurl]

I can think of 3 senerios here.

1. He is also a CD and wants to find out for sure that you are too

2. Its a good time for you to come out to him either way

3. You say your painted toes are just something your girlfriend wanted you to do to keep her on your mind as its what color hers are

[Joanagreenleaf]

Well, that's how is goes sometimes.... People just want to do a double-take before moving on.

Usually, the world doesn't end with things like this. It would be unfortunate if there was a "knee-jerk" reaction and you got into some kind of trouble.

But, "What will be, will be..."

So, don't worry about it - apparently, if you passed muster, you passed muster...

I just hope you don't have to tell some silly story about "a weekend fling with a kinky chick..."

That just leads to more questions, really.

Which is odd, because if you'd do it for sex with strangers and that's OK, why couldn't you do it for yourself?

It turns out that this is a messed up world no matter who you look at it.

[Paula Siemen]

Chill......as I understand it is not a sin to have painted toenails in your abode. But in formation may be a problem.

Em

So with your painted toe nails, just remeber...."Do NOT wear the open-toed combat boots to work"......Repaeat after me...."Do NOT wear.......

Good Luck
Paula

[Karren H]

You need some military issue pink camo nail polish!! I doubt there will be any repercussions as long as you do your job and have good reviews!

[Iskandra]

It's probably nothing. If he was so troubled about the work thing probably didn't even register, remember, most males don't even notice the wifes new hairdo.. :)

Aside, personally, I make it quite clear to my superiors at work, that my off time is mine, and don't even think to drop by unless invited! If its important call me and depending on what I'm doing I might respond! After all they only pay for 40 hours of my time a week..

[Pythos]

Nice fraggin day off. I am sure the higher ups don't got bothered with that kind of stuff. Sorry but this would frustrate the hell out of me.

I wouldn't worry too much, the girlfriend excuse is one that can work, or just be honest. It is not like you can get booted for being gay anymore, especially when you aren't.

[sally silverfox]

You were out of uniform.It's brown side out this time of year-at least in the old days we switched to khaki for the summer-pink just didn't cut it after memorial day.

[SherriePall]

So what if you were outed to him. From the way it sounds, he needs you a lot more than you need him!

[PretzelGirl]

I don't know that polished nails out you for anything other than liking to polish your nails. So if he brings it up, then you shrug your shoulders. I don't see you inferring what your relationship is like, but if it isn't real good, there is nothing to be taken to task on in my view. Deep breathe time and see what happens. I know there have been a number of posts here about those of us going out with polish on and no one noticed. Maybe he just needed someone to talk to and didn't know how to ask.


Nice fraggin day off. I am sure the higher ups don't got bothered with that kind of stuff. Sorry but this would frustrate the hell out of me.

I don't know if it has changed, but there was never a day off when I was in the Army. You may not be scheduled for activities, but you are a soldier 24/7. Now higher ups should manage that intelligently for mental welfare.

[Amber_Lynn]

It may be nothing. I spend almost all summer in flip flops and have recently started painting my toes. Last month I was at the lake with a iridescent pink polish on my nails. Numerous times I would walk up to help someone with their dock lines and their face would be 2 feet from my toes. No one said anything. Other times I'd be standing around with a bunch of guys and I could see the sun glistening off my toes and still no one said anything. I honestly don't think people really look at guys feet and if they do I suspect it's because they might be a CD too ;-)

I wouldn't worry too much about it.

[Nicole Erin]

he might call you into his office and be like - "Gurl, are you a trahnny?"
If he does, just raise and swing your arm, swish your hips and say "whazzzup!" in a drag queen voice.

Then he might use a DQ voice and say, "HEY BITCH!" in a friendly tone...
Then you say, "Gurl, I am like total fish when I am working the trahnny strip!"

Then all the sudden that lady Gaga song "Bad romance" starts playing real loud and the party begins.

See, you have to think of these things. Everyone thinks the worst but I am just giving an example of what could possibly happen.

[Carla]

I would not worry about it given nothing was said. In fact, if your on duty performance is outstanding, there is really nothing he can do except perhaps a referral, but that entails paperwork. So relax. Now if I had been your boss (I'm retired military now), after finishing our business I may have added, "By the way, do you cover your nails with a clear coat after the polish drys, because I do and I highly recommend it!" I can imagine the look on your face! lol

Sorry I missed you when I was in Yongsan a couple of weeks ago. Turns out I was very busy and put in many hours the days I was there.

[AllieSF]

How does "Don't ask, don't tell" fit is all this when knowing how the military thinks, as in "We own you 24/7"? I do like the idea of shrugging your shoulders and only giving the minimal non-committing answers to any of his future questions. He may be cool, he may be old time military, who knows? Good luck and please keep us informed.

[Rianna Humble]

Then all the sudden that lady Gaga song "Bad romance" starts playing real loud and the party begins.

More likely the manifesto of mother monster (aka Born This Way) :heehee:

[KellyCD]

I love all the positive responses and all....very "rainbows and unicorns everything is wonderful" but trust me it's NOT like that. Her boss keeps coming over BECAUSE SHE HAS THE DAY OFF. Her boss came over to get her help in contacting a peer. I'm guess it was more of the "wtf man, you need to get a hold of so and so and tell him to fricken call me ASAP!" That then prolly turned into "did to get a old of so and so? What did he say? Did you tell him to call me? I want a counseling statement by the end of the day for this joker. I'm gonna find him and I'm gonna PT him til he fricken DIES!" That's been my experiences. Had E6's and 7's calling me and coming over to MY HOUSE telling ME I need to get in contact with THEIR soldier.

Once a boss has ahold of you on a weekend, well ur fricken back at work. It happened all the time with me in Korea. That's why when the flag goes down, I turn ninja til 0615 Monday morning now. World War 3 breaks out? Yeps I won't be there til Monday. Sorry for ur bad luck.

[Anne2345]

Hi Danni! I am so sorry to hear about your misfortune. It sounds eerily reminiscent to my own experience just a short while ago. Except in my case, I'm not in the military, and it was not with my boss. Among other advice that members kindly offered me, some said that I should discuss the matter with the individual. This is good advice, but not necessarily appropriate to every situation. Each situation is its own monster, and should be dealt with accordingly. I have not served in the military, so I am unaware of military protocol, etc. I do know that don't ask, don't tell is a thing of the past, which is a good thing, and should go in your favor. Your boss didn't mention it to you while in your apartment, and that, hopefully, has got to be a good thing, too.

If it were me, I would not mention it to him, unless he mentions it to you. You are in a much different predicament than I was (am) - your boss has the ability to influence or change the path your career, for good or bad. From what little you have said, it sounds like you do your job well, and are trusted to fix problems. Your job performance hopefully will far outweigh any negative perception your boss may have of your painted toes, if he has any negative perception at all, and perhaps it will be business as usual. Given the subordinate employment position that you are in, perhaps the wise course is to simply focus intently on your job, kick butt doing it, go the extra mile, and make yourself as valuable of an employee as you can.

Obviously, if he mentions it, you'll have to, and should, deal with it. And again, not knowing military protocol on this, I have to believe that there must be some kind of anonymous "military hotline" or something you can contact to determine what your rights are, given the circumstances. Knowing one's rights in advance of a potential confrontation is 90% of the battle, and can help determine how you address this, if it even is necessary to address at all. I strongly encourage you look into it. But maybe he didn't notice it, after all. But yeah, when people told me the same thing, I didn't buy it either . . . . .

Good luck, Danni! And I really hope it works out for you . . . .

["Mary"]

I love all the positive responses and all....very "rainbows and unicorns everything is wonderful" but trust me it's NOT like that. Her boss keeps coming over BECAUSE SHE HAS THE DAY OFF. Her boss came over to get her help in contacting a peer. I'm guess it was more of the "wtf man, you need to get a hold of so and so and tell him to fricken call me ASAP!" That then prolly turned into "did to get a old of so and so? What did he say? Did you tell him to call me? I want a counseling statement by the end of the day for this joker. I'm gonna find him and I'm gonna PT him til he fricken DIES!" That's been my experiences. Had E6's and 7's calling me and coming over to MY HOUSE telling ME I need to get in contact with THEIR soldier.

Once a boss has ahold of you on a weekend, well ur fricken back at work. It happened all the time with me in Korea. That's why when the flag goes down, I turn ninja til 0615 Monday morning now. World War 3 breaks out? Yeps I won't be there til Monday. Sorry for ur bad luck.

I have similar memories of all the crises that occur on Friday afternoon, and all the "training holidays" that turned out to be full work days.

Back to the nail polish - probably didn't notice. And if so, sounds like this is the least of his challenges.

[Danni Renee]

Thank you all for your supportive posts! I was really stessed when it first hit me but with all of your comments and in time I got a better grip on the situation. I do good job (my last evaluation was top block) and the reality is I leave here for my next assignment in about 35 days. My boss is typically a good guy but he has been under a lot of stress lately. I doubt he reallly even cares and I am sure he does not want to add any more work to his schedule by addressing the situation.

So, with that said, I removed my pink polish last night after I got back in.

And painted them blue.

That way if he asks if my toenails are painted pink I can honestly and truthfully answer no! ;)

[Cynthia Anne]

Danni Renee! Many of us have grown to love and respect you for what you do! Don't let this incident bother you one bit! Your boss must have the same respect for you! Or he wouldn't bother you three times on you day off! Hugs!

[donnatracey]

Wow, have to say in 20+ years in the military none of my bosses ever came over to my house! Those were the "good, ole days", I guess.....

Hopefully, this will be much ado about nothing, Danni.

[Patty B.]

Hopefully nothing will come of this, and hopefully attitudes have changed in the 35 years since I was discharged. In the early 70's this could have led to a less than honorable discharge. Best of luck.

[Shelly67]

To me he seems a little too familliar with you , your boss . One visit is surely enough , privacy is to be respected not abused - even if the person seems nosey .I mean , what if he stumbled into a situation where the person concerned was wearing nail polish for personal sexual excitement ? We all have our own switches that need to be flicked . If he takes this further then it's a poor show in my mind . An abuse of power .
OR - is there somthing else going on here ? Does he find you attractve , his temperous behaviour a result of frustration ?? A cry for attention ??
Never say never .
I've been in a similar situation , my toes weren't totally clear of the nail varnish . My partner gave me an excuse - it isn't water tight but hey ... I used it . I informed the person concerned I used nail varnish to cover my nails , protect them from the fake tan I was using ( wanted to hold onto my holiday tan ) as it turned my nails yellow . Some excuse .... a guy using fake tan ??? I suppose I could have said my parner painted them for a laugh whilst I were alseep . A chocolate fireguard excuse methinks . BUT - due to my polite answear ( the returned look gave her disbelief away ) she knew she'd overstepped the mark.
Perhaps in reality the obvious thing is that no matter who see's what about our body , if anyone makes it a problem , then they themselves are the problem . It takes quite some time to truely see that .Power trips aren't funny .
I wouldn't worry . If rumour or a " polite" chat comes your way just quietly inform the person(s) concerned to please mind theyre own buisness . What occurs in the privacey of your own home is private .And that you simply find such questions intrusive .
Good luck .
x

[Tina B.]

Kelly is right about that, when I was in the Navy we knew, come liberty call, you get off the ship and go somewhere, or be ready to be pressed into duty at anytime, Sundays and Holidays included. If the can get a hold of you, they own you! Blue is nice, Dannie, but does it work with Khaki?
Your gone in a month, and he is under stress, and relies on you, I'd say that's about as save as it gets in the service. Oh, and for who ever brought it up, don't ask, don't tell is just if your gay, they haven't even begun to talk about us yet!
Tina

[Aneline]

I'm a long time SHY crossdresser. I always keep an eye out for other men with the same interest. And except for the occasional Berkeleyite wearing a skirt and Berkenstocks on BART, I've never had a confirmed sighting, or encounter. So, I see someone that I work with, not a close friend, that appears to be wearing pink toe nail polish. My mind goes into overdrive. Maybe he's a crossdresser. No, no way, he's totally "normal". This must be a toe nail fungus treatment that happens to turn the nails sort of pink. Maybe I'll ask him. No, what if it is fungus treatment, he'll think I'm gay or something. But it looks like toe nail polish. Shit. What do I say. zzhdhd. brain freeze. outa here.

So, if this guy was homophobic. He'd a let ya know right off the bat. If not, he's most likely confused. What do you do? I don't know. I'm the brain freeze guy...

[Stephanie-L]

From your description and your profile I would guess you are mid to senior enlisted, E7-ish perhaps, and your boss is senior enlisted, E8-9-ish (If he is an officer he committed a few no-no's here). If he hasn't said anything, he is not going to. He has definately seen worse, and as long as you are not affecting your ability to do the job, and thus making him look bad, he doesn't care. Now, if you helped him fix his problem, even better. All of that said, the key here is discretion. Don't put him, or anyone, in a position where they feel they have to say something. You have been in long enough to know the ropes so don't worry. And BTW, thanks for your service..............Stephanie

[Jilmac]

You're lucky your toenails were pink, not nearly as noticable as the deep purple on my nails.

[donnatracey]

Personally, I find pink toe nails a lot more noticeaable than a dark purple, and def a lot more fem....one reason I haven't tried red/pink colors yet but have no problems with browns, blues or purples....:doh:

[Stephanie47]

During my time in the army, I NEVER heard of any NCO going to another enlisted man's domicile uninvited for a business call, ,et alone three times. What could he resolve with you in person that he could not resolve over the telephone/cell phone? Are you sure your private communications are not being monitored because of a security clearance? With the NSA/CIA/FBI listening to buzz words, you didn't tell you're girlfriend you just bought a pair of "Killer Heels"?

[Danni Renee]

Looking back now I think it had more to do with my boss being bored/winding down from work was the main cause for the visits. Normally he is not here on weekends but he was sick and did not want to spread his cold to his kids so he was sticking around post.

I have however had 2 more meetings with him today (first day back to work) and nothing has been said and he is not treating me any different. I fell pretty safe that I dodged this one. Thank you all for your support.

[Yolanda_Voils]

Agree with Iskandra

It's probably nothing. If he was so troubled about the work thing probably didn't even register

I know that personally I don't look at guys' feet, women, a different story, I can tell you everything about their footwear ;)