comfort around other CDs

[Sarah Doepner]

I try to get out with other CDs occasionally, usually for a Tri-Ess meeting. Often my wife is watching grandkids and we live next door to family who don't know of my crossdressing. So, I can't leave the house already dressed and have to change at the meeting. It usually cuts a little quality time from the evening, but I'm okay with that. I get out and my wife is comfy with it.

Our group had a BBQ up one of the canyons last Friday and by the time I got there, dropped my things, exchanged hugs and said hello I was starving and needed to eat. The point is I didn't change and spent the evening en drab chatting and visiting with my friends and the S.O.'s who made it, and I was comfortable with that. I would have preferred to dress and I had a really cute outfit in the bag. But changing in the concrete block house pit toilet, doing my makeup using the car mirror and only being dressed for a short time made it reasonable for me to skip dressing and enjoy the social side of the evening.

The question is how comfortable are you around other CDs when you aren't dressed en femme? Does it mean anything either way?

[Alice Torn]

I never have met with CD before, but, i would be a bit uneasy in my regular guy clothes at first. I don't know if i could do it.

[Kathi Lake]

I'm usually comfortable meeting anyone, anyplace, and in any 'mode.'

Kathi

[Amy Lynn3]

I'm usually comfortable meeting anyone, anyplace, and in any 'mode.'

Kathi

It's the same with me....I meet cder's in drab for the most part, without problems.

[Barbra P]

I joined a local transgender support group, Neutral Corner, last month, and not knowing anything about their meetings I asked how I should dress. I was told that is was customary for new and prospective members to dress in their genetic gender clothing, however if I wanted to dress enfemme nothing would be said. I went drab, as did one other long time male member. I was made to feel very welcome and I was also very comfortable even though a good deal of the meeting was taken up with my introduction and members questions.

As a side note the President and Vice President were both dress VERY casually enfemme, but both are TS. I don’t know the status of either, whether they are pre or post op, and I didn’t think it would be polite to ask.

[t-girlxsophie]

I find being in drab around CDers isn't a problem,although obviously I prefer being dressed,But back when I attended the local Support group,I used to go back in the bar after changing,and chat till my friend was ready to go,she on the other hand wouldn't ever come in,but only because she didn't like to be seen in male mode so soon after being Femme.

Sophie

[sara.s]

For my first Transkentucky meeting, i was in drab (they call it pumpkin mode) and was green in envy as others were dressed. Not sure how it would feel if I were dressed.

[Cynthia Anne]

I love meeting others weather I'm dressed or not! I'm not at all embarassed talking to other 'girls' when I'm in drab! When I'm dressed I'm a little jealous 'cause I think they look nicer then me!

[GirlieAmanda]

I have attended a TG picnic a while ago and arrived in drab then changed. I have met with other CDs and hung out a lot in each mode. I think it is very important to meet in your genetic mode first if you can unless you are full time or TS. It kind of sets the tone of reality I feel. Then I think it makes it so cool when you both get all pretty. It seems genuine then. As for being around other CDs at say a meeting or an event, while I would be burning to get pretty with them, I am totally comfortable and am so glad to be with my people. Recently, I always have a sense of girlieness about me. I smell good, I am all smooth, my real hair is growing longer, and my nails are longer, and of course have the undies on all the time so I guess I kind of feel like I am never really in drabs. I think I am trying to make the gulf between girl and guy much narrower because that's how I feel inside.

[Kate Simmons]

Pretty comfortable Sarah. My friends are my friends regardless of how they appear at any given time. CDing is just something special we all happen to have in common.:)

[Tina B.]

I think I would be more comfortable in drab. But then I don't get out and am rather shy about it. I get out to LGBTQ events a few times a year, in drab, and hangout and visit with those that are dressed, but we really don't know each other, not sure how I would feel if we did really know each other.

[AllieSF]

I have no problem meeting another sister in drab. I feel that if we get to the point of meeting, I feel confident enough about the person to reveal my true identity. I know that it helps a lot of newbies get up the courage to leave their closet to visit the real world. They feel comfortable with the person they are meeting and that gives them the confidence to later go out with that person.

[Sarah Doepner]

I know that it helps a lot of newbies get up the courage to leave their closet to visit the real world. They feel comfortable with the person they are meeting and that gives them the confidence to later go out with that person.

Allie brings up a good point and one that figures strongly in my life. My first meetings with other crossdressers were with me and most of them drab. It allowed me to meet the people who were open, relaxed and honest about this part of their life. I saw in these more experienced folks something that gave me confidence and allowed me to adopt a more comfortable approach to my dressing.

I'd still rather be the one dressed, but it's nice to have the option.

[Audrey34]

When I'm with my group I'm usually dressed and quite comfortable. A couple of times when I wasn't dressed I was still comfy but I felt a little left out.
-Audrey

[sissystephanie]

I am very much like Kathi Lake. The clothes don't change me, I am still the same person!! I have met other CD's both ways, and either way is fine with me!!

[NathalieX66]

To Sarah Charles:

I've been to quite a few Tri-Ess meetings...New Jersey chapter Sigma Nu Ro......best girls on the world. :)

I also have a number of CD/TG friends outside Tri-Ess that I go out with.

Us, It's all about girl time. Many of us are married & kids. We like women, we love our girllfriends/wives...we just want to appreciate and share doing what they they do. ...we're weird like that.

I'm hetero, I go out en femme publically 1-3 times a month, 4 times at most.

My experience with gay guys is they think I'm a novelty. They are fun bunch, but not me. I'm also LGBT firendly.
My gay friends don't even get me.

[Karren H]

What they wear is not a problem... I'm comphy enough. Its if they weren't wearing anything that my comfort level would plummet! Lol.

[KarenS]

Sarah,

The first time I met other CD'rs I was dressed. I was very apprehensive and had no clue what to expect. But I figured the whole point of meeting with them was to share honestly that I was a crossdresser and be able to share with others that were like minded - so I went fully en-femme.

I met with them three or four times before any of them saw me in drab mode. I am more comfortable being with them when en-femme, but am okay if in drab. The only time I have been in drab with any of them was for business. A couple of them are in a small business that I happened to need services for so I gave them the business. They didn't recognize me in drab mode. I introduced myself in person as Karen when I dropped of the materials they were to work on. I really wish I could have been en-femme at that time simply because that is how they know me.

In my situation, I really don't have a chance to meet with them unless I set aside "special" time a Karen to be with them.

[nvlady]

I have known one other CD and he knew about me too.We never saw each other in drag. It was a business rather than a social relationship, and we were completely comfortable with one another.

[Pythos]

I am entertaining attending the next CD meeting in androgynous/fem mode. Or maybe androg male. Who knows though.

I think I would only be uncomfortable because everyone else would be in things I would like to be in a version of :P

[JamieG]

Just last night, my wife and I had a CD friend and his wife over for a cookout; we were both in drab. So obviously, I'm perfectly fine with being in drab around other CD'ers in drab. If on the other hand I had to stay in drab while others were dressed, I'd still be comfortable, but probably feel a little jealous.

[Annie D]

I have been to meetings where some girls had to dress after they got our destination and I really didn't give it a second thought; I just thought that they came from work or from a very long distance to attend. If that is your circumstance, it is too bad for you.

With not being out to my two teenagers, my wife would work hard to distract them, send them on errands so that I could get out of the house. As far as the neighbors are concerned, I don't concern myself with whether they see me or not. They may recognize the car, a bright red Toyota convertible, but they have never said anything or made any inquiries about who that lovely looking women was backing out of the garage.

[kendra_gurl]

I have met a few while dressed when I knew they were getting togeather after a meeting or drinks at a club. After getting to know them I have met then in drab and comfortable both ways.
The only problem I have found is I don't fit in much at any actuall CD/TG/TS "meetings" since most at the one meeting I did attend were way more TG/TS than I will ever be. So I just don't relate to them as I would just a part time crossdresser.

[PretzelGirl]

Friendships are friendships whether I look like a princess (ha!) or a frog. Before my first time out dressed, I was invited by the sensational Kathi Lake on a shopping trip with me in drab and her dressed. That probably was the final slingshot into going out more. But more importantly, it was the beginning of a good friendship. I have also met with Sarah with both of us in drab as we have become good friends. And in the upcoming months, our Tri-Ess group is going to do a local baseball game with our families, no dressing. That is great. I get to spend time with good friends and get to meet their families. Life is about people. . . .

[Kathi Lake]

So true!! It's not about the clothes. It's not about the makeup. It's about the relationships and the friendships. Everything else is secondary.

Kathi

[docrobbysherry]

Not dressed!
I had never met a CD before my first SCC. Not sure what to expect, I went into the bar as soon as I arrived and had put my bags in my room. It was about 6:00PM.

I promptly found a table full of CD.com girls! After sitting, chatting, and:drink:, for about an hour, I wanted to be dressed like everyone else! So, I changed into a fem outfit and felt completely comfortable!:)

Over dressed!
At my SECOND SCC, I was invited to a private "fetish" party. I arrived, (apparently early), in full Sherry regalia. The folks there didn't know me and looked at me like I was an alien!:eek:
I stayed for nearly an hour in case anyone I knew arrived. I felt uncomfortable the entire time! I was happier and more comfortable in the public hotel hallways and elevator!:brolleyes:

Nice to know your getting your quality Sarah time, SC!:thumbsup:

[CindyT]

I have never met another CD in that setting before but knowing you are cool with it would be good enough for me regardless of what you are wearing!

[noeleena]

Hi,

When i was over the ditch in austraila i went to a ball in Syd 3 year ago, 160 people dress'ers trans of different colours & staff plus a lot more none of them had i met before . let alone people i met going over & back.

Now many were in bob mode so was a bit hard to recconise them tho some i did , so as i was in the hotel a day before i could hang around to meet them , well some were so different i did not know who they were till they were dressed.

Most would have known who i was because of my pics . any way it was good ,

As to the ? i'm pretty comforable around most people im allways dressed so people know me now well enough where ever i go ,

Tho there was a time i met up with a group of dress'ers & i was out of place, & i felt it , they did not trust me one they did not know me & i was a stranger. so lesson learned . so dont turn up not dressed as others are ,

...noeleena...

[kristinacd55]

I've had similar experiences, as I joined a support group and I would usually underdress then change the rest of the way in the parking lot of the church..lol.
Also, went biking with 2 of my best girlfriends and we were all drab. I found it so funny we're dressed like guys, but calling each other by our girl names. We were all extremely comfortable and had a great day. We've also been together at clubs as girls too and are REALLY comfortable that way! :)

[Nylonems]

Unless I knew the others well, knew their backgrounds