Eye Opener

[joanna marie]

I just had an Eye opening experience.

I was at the Barnes and Noble Book store today around 2pm, As I walked in I noticed a nicely dressed,rather tall Lady, wearing a knee lenght kaki skirt and pink top standing at the counter talking to a SA about the electronic books.
Hearing her voice caused me to take a closer look and sure enough it was a CDer that was buying the Nook. She would pass at a distance but up close it was easy to spot and there was no attempt at a female voice.

She talked with the SA for quite a while and paid for it at the sales counter.
I watched for other peoples reaction to what was easily recognized as a man dresses like a woman. Out side of one guy doing a slight back glance it was a non event to everyone there.

No one pointed ,laughed ,or did anything the during the sale or afterward,not even a smile. I watched as the gurl proceded to walk out the dorr and up the street without any one taking notice.

The book store was in Sugar House part of Salt Lake City,Utah.
Sugar House is a more Progressive part of SLC but it is still conservitive Utah.

What I learned from watching this is that my fear of going out in Fem is a self-based fear and that people really don't care or notice and if they do spot you they don't make a big deal of it or report you to the "crossdressing police"

I feel an out and about adventure is in my near future.

I want to thank who ever it was that I saw, You gave me courage ,Way to go girl

[Karren H]

Yeah!! I love Barnes and noble and I've been out enfemme in SLC... Never has an issue... No one really cares what you wear...

[Fab Karen]

Even in Mormon Central, no big deal.

[docrobbysherry]

Maybe because book stores r all closing? And, everyone was too busy trying to find their book(s) before they have to buy them electronically?

[sissystephanie]

I shop most of the time dressed completely enfemme, but with no wig and no makeup!! And I have gone that way to Barnes and Noble several times!! So I am definitely a guy in girl clothes! As Joanna said, the fear of going out dressed enfemme is a "self" fear! The public doesn't really care what you wear as long as you are decent! I have been going out like this for 6 years now, and have not had one single negative comment. Had lots of compliments on my outfits, though!!

[Cynthia Anne]

I have my purse with me and wear eye make-up and lipstick no matter how I'm dressed! Never hear a coment!

[NathalieX66]

Karren is right.......No one cares what you wear.

Barnes & Noble in Ridgewood & Clifton, NJ is where I have been en femme. ...exactly as you see me in my profile.
The staff has treated me very kindly....got some great Doctor Who DVD's too!

[kymberlyjean]

I agree completely that the biggest hang up with going out is usually yourself. I feel like I am in the same boat as your customer there- pass from a distance, but obviously "questionable" any closer than 6 or 8 feet, or in other words "girl from far, but far from girl." lol. Which that brings me up to how I feel about the use of the word "pass". Some may desire to completely pass as a female without any indication of maleness to be found, and while that's fine for them it's simply not in the cards for a vast majority of us. When I "got over" myself and the feeling that I have to "pass", the world opened up to Kim and I've had a great time out and about since then. Like sissystephanie said, as long as you're decent, no one's gonna care. I go out and I don't pretend that I'm passing as anything other than a person out having a good time, and looking fabulous while doing it!! Sure I can hear a giggle, gasp or chuckle every now and then but who cares? I'm just glad I got to be a part of their daily dose of entertainment. One time I was out with a friend of mine at a mall, and she decided to sit out a particular store (I think her heels were hurting her, lol) so she sat on the bench outside the store. She told me later that a guy sitting next to her was watching me in the store for a little while and then leaned over and said "hey, is that a dude right there? She replied "it sure is"! He watched for a another minute and that said "damn, She looks better than most of the women in here today!" Which is typical of comments I get from sales associates or other people, I get you look nice today, or that would look great on you and the like.
So get over yourself and get out there!!

Hugs
Kim

Kim

[donnatracey]

Great advice, Kim! If it works up in the "Big D" it should work down here near San Antonio.....:)

[kymberlyjean]

Big D? Not hardly!! I go out in Fort Worth and most of the time, in the smaller suburbs. Big D is too crowded for this county girl!!

[busker]

Tell that to the TG that got the $hit kicked out of her in Baltimore at McDonald's.
Come on folks, you know that what you are saying is NOT totally true. It is really bad advice to just encourage people to take those kind of chances without considering the consequences. People DO notice what you are wearing, they just don't say anything out of politeness or maybe they don't care--but there are a lot of folks with rednecks out there who might want to do something.

[Jordana Divinorum]

That's true. You have to be smart about what you do and where you go no matter who you are. Crossdressers aren't the only ones that get beat up. Someone tried to beat up my friend for no reason at a bar and he looks like your average blue collar worker with a super short hair. People get in fights for dressing goth/punk/nerdy/etc too. People get picked on if they're dressed normally but someone finds out they're gay. One day, a dude in the parking lot of a sushi restaurant started picking on me because he didn't like my large sunglasses. I was otherwise dressed casually. Anything outside of the social norms can get you into trouble.
Last weekend, I went to a Karaoke bar downtown that's very laid back, and I also went to a rock bar that was hosting a gay pride event. I wasn't wearing a dress or anything, but I wore make up and put my hair up in the 50's pin-up-girl style. I was with friends and in a good part of town. I wouldn't go to red neck bar alone dressed in drag though. You have to use common sense sometimes. I hope one day, society will be more open minded. By the way, is there a link to the news article about the TG in Baltimore?

[Vickie_CDTV]

Personally I fear the thug/gang element in the big cities more than rednecks and others in general. When I was younger going into bad areas dressed didn't bother me as much, but nowadays I really really avoid it as much as possible. For most going to a mall or such dressed is probably fine, but I'd be very leery of going into some areas dressed.

[joanna4]

The only few times I went out en femme happened to be in ghetto places but I haven't had a problem yet nor felt uncomfortable, but yes do keep an eye out.