Would love to take ballet lessons....... as a girl

[Brett]

Hey All..

I know there have been a few threads about ballet lessons and wanting to be a ballerina, but I have my own views on it and experience that merit a new thread.

I love wearing tights, leotards, ballet shoes, and ballet clothes, and imagining that I am a girl at ballet class. It has been a lifelong fantasy of mine. It started when I was younger, and my sister took ballet lessons with some of the prettiest girls I was going to school with.

I am straight, and I had a huge desire to date those girls, but I also had a huge desire to BECOME one of those girls as well. I wanted to be just like them....... I wanted to wear white tights and leotards as they did. I wanted to smile and be gregarious, and flirty, and wear cute outfits. Most of those girls were the prettiest and most popular, who dated guys, danced in the school talent show, won prom-queen, had active social lives.

I was sort of a random non-descript guy who was just kind of "there," and certainly not in their league when I was 15 or 16. I wanted desperately to be transformed and to become a pretty girl dancing ballet, as well as doing everything else. I wanted so badly to grow breasts, have pretty long hair and do my face, and have long legs in tights or in tight slacks. I wanted to wear jewelry, and even have my period and have to learn about feminine hygiene and wear a pad.

It might all sound silly, but i wanted so badly to have the complete experience. The main thing was to take ballet lessons but as a girl, and to have a girls name. i wanted to curtsey and partner with a guy, and to wear the girls uniform of leotard and tights, and mabye a cute wrap-skirt. I wanted to be acknowledged totally as a girl and dance on the floor in pointe shoes, with other girls.

That was about 10 years ago. My biggest desire now is to take private ballet lessons where I can change into a leotard and tights, and go through ballet class as a girl.

The thing is that I project to the world 100% as a male. I've asked about such lessons at a few studios, in privacy, but they say they will only let me come in and study as a male. I am interested very much in ballet, and would be in the male part as well, but my dream is to really wear the female outfits.

I can understand totally if they don't want anything to do with such classes, but as I would be paying my own money, surely some studio wouldn't mind just letting me indulge in my little fantasy or roleplay. I approached one studio and teacher about what I wanted very respectfully and discreetly, but she said that a male dressing as a female in a ballet class wouldn't be "respecting the ballet."

I agree totally with what she says, but obviously I won't ever be a real dancer, and it would be totally in private, and my money is as good as anybody. I suspect mabye she just didn't want to have to deal with some guy coming in and wearing ladies' clothes, and have to acknowledge me as a girl. I told her that I wanted a totally discreet lesson where I could be referred to as a girl the entire time, and curtsey and do some uniquely-feminine moves. The whole time of course, I would be wearing ladies tights and leotards (no men's clothes at all.)

She told me that she would be more than willing to train me as a male, or to let me attend regular group classes dressed as a guy, but for me to do any feminine aspect couldn't happen. About 4 studios have told me the same thing. They have all been very congenial about it, but it is frustrating

I do have a desire to learn actual ballet as well, but its my fantasy to ACT OUT the female role, not just be any other dude in the ballet class. I just wish some one would be open-minded enough to indulge my private fantasy and let me act as a girl. I understand the "structure" of ballet and the defined gender roles, but I want them to define me as a female and not a male. I know I appear totally as a male though........ I think that's what I didn't completely relate to them or get across as the teachers I talked to weren't thinking outside the box and only saw me as some guy who wanted to dance, but were only willing to relate to me as a guy.

Bottom line is I just want to have some outlet for my ballerina fantasy. I dress up at home but I feel I need "the next level" and to have some engagment in a female role.

Thanks for reading and I hope to hear your thoughts, and I wonder if anyone can relate to this?

[Cynthia Anne]

Living a life in a dream world sounds exciting! But if you let the fantasy rule your life then the let downs come to a reality, so to stay sane one must seperate the two! Yes everything you mention sounds very nice, but I believe I will not be able to join this fantsy!

[Taylor186]

Hey All..

I approached one studio and teacher about what I wanted very respectfully and discreetly, but she said that a male dressing as a female in a ballet class wouldn't be "respecting the ballet."

You've heard of the Trocaderos, right? http://www.trockadero.org/ This widely respected ballet group is comprised of men doing just what you want to do. Everybody involved in ballet knows about them and so would the ballet instructor you talked to. So, she obviously has some other reason for not wanting to train you.

[Karren H]

Ahhh. No! After taking my daughter to dance class and setting through 13 years of dance recitals. No way

[JamieG]

Brett,

I understand your dream. A year and a half ago, I finally worked up the courage to take ballet lessons myself; I've posted some threads about this experience elsewhere on the forum. I take classes as a guy, and I suggest you don't write it off. Sure, you don't get to wear pink tights, and if you wear a leotard, it's supposed to go under the tights, but otherwise you are experiencing the same things the ladies do. My gender is rarely referred to; usually I'm just one of the class.

My impression is that most serious ballet teachers and students would be concerned that you are not doing ballet for a love of dance but as a tights fetish. Perhaps if you started off as a man and proved you were legitimately interested in dance (it is really fun, and good exercise too), you might have more luck in pushing for private lessons where you could dress as you pleased. Note, one of our other members took ballet lessons from a lady who does TG transformations, and got to dress fully there. That may be your best bet if the "being treated as a ballerina" is more important than actually learning ballet.

[Taylor186]

Good advice from Jamie

[Brett]

Ooo... yes .......

I so should have brought up the Trockaderos as a last-ditch selling point. I doubt it would have mattered anyway. I live in a very conservative part of the USA and tbh, I wasn't expecting to get agreement. I totally understand anyway as I can't say I would be jumping head-over-heels if some other individual approached me out of the blue about catering to some fantasy they had. The thing is that I definitely would have been willing to pay for the lessons, plus mabye extra, so it just depends if it was worth it to their business to instruct me for an hour and just pretend I was some girl. Mabye that would have been better than just having a vacant studio for an hour generating no money? One random person having a bit of fun in total privacy is not going to totally "cataclysmically degrade their art," and all of that...... I certainly will never be a pro dancer or anything, and it would just be a total blip on the radar in the grand scheme of things. Still, I can see reluctance to get involved with anything like that at all.

As I said, I was very very respectful about how I asked, and I made it quite clear just by my bearing and the manner in which I asked that the lesson would be totally discreet, and I would just come in and want to be referred to as a girl, but there would be nothing else about it that would make anybody uncomfortable.

@ Jamie....... yes, I have read a few other of your threads. I admit being treated as a ballerina would be more important. I would be seriously interested in learning actual ballet as a guy as well. I agree it would do good to "Open the door," for me in that manner, but I just don't know. I was thinking about going to a different dance studio that specialized in more private lessons w/ a 1 on 1 instructor, instead of an actual ballet school. The school I am thinking of is primarily ballroom and that, but I bet they have someone who can teach ballet. I just imagine that that school would be less rigid and obviously would not have any kind of dress code.

I'm sure the instructor I talked to just didn't even want anything to do with something so 'out there.' I just need to not get discouraged and take baby-steps. I'm sure I'll find what I want somewhere.

I really do enjoy wearing the outfits at home and playing pretend. Every chance i get, I jump into a leotard and tights and just live out my fantasy in my own privacy.

[Taylor186]

The thing is that I definitely would have been willing to pay for the lessons, plus maybe extra, so it just depends if it was worth it to their business to instruct me for an hour and just pretend I was some girl. Maybe that would have been better than just having a vacant studio for an hour generating no money?

I had this same thought after reading your first post, and I assumed they would want to charge you more than the going rate given your special request, but money-in ought to be better than no money-in. But, if I ran a ballet school there would be bigger issues at stake which would make me reluctant to fulfill a one-off fantasy as out of the mainstream as yours is.

For the record I studied ballet for a while a few years ago too. Strictly in male mode but it was great fun. The dress code for men at my school (adult performing arts) was black tights and a white tee, no exceptions.

Just make sure your legs, ankles and feet are in great shape before going en pointe!

[Randee]

Brett,
I fully understand your desires to take ballet in leotards and tights in feminine ballet attire. Who wouldn't like the lovely look and feel of leotards and tights in a graceful dance class feeling girly. There are a few on this forum who have been able to do that and I have chatted with some of them. Where you are you may have trouble going to dance class as a female, but you can certainly take class in your leotards and tights and fit right in. The ladies were glad to have me. The treated me like just one of the girls. Wear leotards and tights confidently to your very first class and you will be fine wearing them always. And when recital time comes, who knows what costume you will all be wearing.

Instead of asking if I could be dressed as a female for class, I called around and asked what everyone wore and then ask if the leotard and tights I already had would be in appropriate. Almost all said that would be fine, almost as if they were afraid to ask men to wear leotards and tights in class for fear of scaring them off. So you can go to class as a man in your leotards and tights. I'd say just go with a unisex leotard and matching tights in dark colors, perhaps sheerer tights. Wear over them what makes you feel comfortable be it short shorts, lycra shorts, warmup suit. Dress down as you get warmed up. Was always fun watching myself in leotards and tights on the machines in the big mirrors.

I took a jazz/ballet class with my gf and 6 other ladies one night a week for two years. I did not go en femme. After all I was her boyfriend. But they were happy to have a guy in their class and after showing up in them the first class, I was expected to be in leotards and tights just like all the ladies wore. In class they still treated me like just one of the girls though they loved to make teasing comments.Rather than just standing around while they rehearsed, they suggested I learn the all girl number for the recital and loaned me a wrap skirt to dance out of. All in all it was fun being part of the troupe for a couple of hours, dancewear and all.
My gf had been in the this class for a while and I had dropped by a few times before I joined. Since the class was all ladies in leotards and tights, she agreed I would fit in fine wearing the same and it would be best if I started my first class dressed. My gf saw to that by picking me up for the first class and making sure I was dressed just like them in my black leotard, black tights, and black ballet slippers before we left so I wouldn't change my mind, nervous as I was. The other ladies in the class knew I would be joining them and expected me to be in leotards always, even fussed the couple of times I wasn't. Later in some classes, my girlfriend had me change into some of her leotards and tights for class after coming straight from work without my own. Of course her leotards and tights that she picked to loan me were a lot more girly than my own. I didn't try to look femme, just a guy in leotards, but the ladies treated me like just one of the girls while I was in class with them. I loved looking in the big studio mirrors and seeing me dancing in line with these ladies, all of us in our revealing skintight dancewear. They teased me a bit about dancing that all girl number in the recital with them as one of the girls. My gf even dressed me in her old recital costume and makeup to see how close we might pull it off. It was a black and white spaghetti strap leotard body suit with black fishnet tights, opera gloves and some feathered headwear. I posed for her in it for her to take some photos of me. Spending one night a week dancing in leotards and tights in class was something I looked forward to every week for two dance seasons. I never felt so sexy in my leotards and tights as I did being accepted by the ladies in class as just one of the girls for those few hours a week. It was a fantasy come true.

[Vickie_CDTV]

It probably isn't as an extensive experience as you are looking for, but Miss Vera's academy does offer ballet lessons for crossdressers.

[Brett]

Wow, Randee !! All you say sounds so exciting !! It would be great to have such an experience as well with a caring and understanding significant-other, even if it was just role-play in your own privacy, and not necessarily the whole experience with a group lesson. All you have done sounds like so much fun.

I was thinking the same thing about smaller schools scaring prospective male students off by asking them to wear leotards and tights. I think the bigger dance schools with seriously dance students will clearly have their guys in the regulation male-attire with the white T-shirt/leo, and black tights. The smaller places that give lessons probably just want to get dudes or anybody in to study, so might have a more liberal or accommodating dress code, and just OK shorts or sweats.

Yes, it might be a better long-term approach to build my rapport with a prospective school by taking more conventional lessons....... so they get to know me and then may see I'm a serious student and may be more willing to accept me for my ballerina lessons at some point in the future when I could bring it up. It might not even have to be "ballet as a male," at such a school, but perhaps some other more regular form of dance that isn't such "taboo" for a guy to learn.

[crystal amber]

I am with you on that. I started out by wearing pointe shoes then I started trying on women's clothing but I usually wear my pointe shoes(even though I have others.) After dressing up like a ballerina for a while I started wanting to take lessons and learn ballet as a woman as well.