Started HRT

[Christy_M]

Well, I have my twice a week Estradiol patch and my once a day Finasteride and I am off and running. I am sure a week is not long enough to notice anything but I was wondering, I had heard that there is some emotional release that is imminent (or at least has happened to a number of girls here) and so the question is "when might this occur?" I don't want to be in the middle of an important meeting or driving 70 miles an hour down the freeway when this suddenly comes upon me so if there is some sequence of events I should watch for, that might save me a little embarassment.:o

[Andrea85]

For me, the emotional release was the feeling of a weight (manhood) being lifted from me. No crying, no anything crazy. Just a "I'm finally at peace" feeling.

[Melody Moore]

So today is your birthday as a female - Happy Birthday Christy!

I have heard about this emotional train-wreck that we are suppose to have but I am yet to
have mine & it's getting close to a year since I started Hormone Therapy. I think it also how
you are affected might also have something to do with any other emotional issues you might
have, issues with family, friends etc., which you seem to be right on top of. So maybe this wont
happen to you because you are a strong person & have sorted a hell of a lot out in your life.

:hugs:

[Hope]

There is a change, and it happens pretty soon after you start the hormones (maybe a week or so) but it isn't all of a sudden, and it isn't like some sort of melt-down. I don't think you need to worry about being behind the wheel when it happens. And this is just the beginning. For me it has grown stronger over the 11 weeks or so I have been on the hormones - and I expect it will grow stronger still.

For me it just calm - the buzzing and the constant angry just stopped. I remember very clearly about 3 days after I started hormones standing at work and having the sudden and life altering realization that this was for keeps and that I could never go back to pretending to be a guy. Not that I couldn't physically do it - (I probably STILL could if someone put a gun to my head - but that is what it would take) - simply that up until that moment I had been living as if everything I was doing was one big experiment and if anything didn't feel right I could always go back. And that day I suddenly realized I could never force myself to go back no matter how horrible things got - because this was too wonderful - to delightful - too right. That was a huge affirmation and a bit frightening all at once.

The other thing I remember from the first week was one evening when I was sitting down to eat dinner and dropped a fork full of food on the floor and FREAKED OUT. My wife just laughed at me and said "welcome to estrogen!"

As far as the emotional change - there is nothing to watch for or worry about. The freak-out? You will have one - or more. They come without warning, and are triggered by the stupidest things. Congratulations - you are now that crazy girl you used to date (I have recently started annoying my wife by asking her why she won't tell me what she is feeling...). If you are lucky no one will accuse you of being hormonal when it happens - because that is NOT helpful. On the other hand - this doesn't last forever - once your hormone levels stabilize the freak-outs go away. Mostly. Until your doctor modifies your dosages again.

Oh - and welcome to the club...

[Aprilrain]

My emotions are more or less the same now as they were before I started HRT the difference is in my physical and mental reaction to my emotions. I'm less prone to anger so easily and more prone to become sad. about 2.5-3 months in to it I started being able to cry. I hadn't been able to cry for decades! I cry all the time now. lol. It is so cathartic. Interestingly enough my reactions to my wife are MUCH better but still I'm just as likely to become annoyed and angry with her as feel sad about the situation, I think its just a learned response. Womanhood and hormones are synonymous with bitchy, moody, emotional etc. I started being able to smile more, laugh more, and just be plain giddy with my girlfriends. I don't know if thats hormonal or just the result of being true to myself. I'm a lot more in touch with parts of me that were always there but I actively or subconsciously ignored.
As far as having some uncontrollable inappropriate emotional breakdown, it has not happened to me yet. I do get VERY depressed and can't help but wear my feelings on my sleeve but I was like that before hormones. I do find it much harder to distract my self from my feeling now I think that is one of the blessing/curses of testosterone, being able to focus all your energy on a task and have that drowned out how your feeling.

[Christy_M]

Well it has been about a week and tonight I watched "A Girl Like Me: The Gwen Aroujo Story" and I cried hard a number of times during the movie. I typically don't cry with movies and the last time I remember was watching "My Life" with Michael Keaton about 15 years ago. This caught me a little off guard but I think the story hit home quite a bit more so than the hormones. I can't say for sure but like I said, It seems a little early for this to be HRT...Thanks for the helpful advice. It really means a lot to hear your experiences.

[Melody Moore]

I have to agree with what April said in that how you react mentally & physically to emotional situations
is different. Like I don't think I would have cried before if someone sent me flowers when I was in hospital,
I would have got angry when I lost my mobile phone before, but instead I cried over when I lost it after I
started on hormones. Those tear jerking moments in movies that was fairly hard for me to control before,
certainly turn on the waterworks now. Someone does something really nice & sweet for me or for someone
else & you can see how they went right out of their way to do something nice for someone else then that
also brings out the tears in me. My reactions to emotional situations is much more female like now.