Paula_56
06-17-2011, 11:41 AM
How’s your swing? If you’re a golfer you recognized this as familiar greeting between other golfers. Golf is a remarkably simple game to the casual observer; hit the ball into the hole. Not unlike being a transgendered woman it is in realty astonishingly complex and multifaceted.
For years I was a casual golfer, I’d take my clubs out of the basement dust them off, and hit the course 2 or 3 times a year. It’s no surprise my game stunk, and I was getting no better. I searched for the quick fix, new driver, new balls, a book, and maybe a couple of nights at the range. Nothing changed.
Years ago I got a new job, and made friends with a golfer in the office, we started going to an indoor range nearby and took lesson during the winter. The instructor taught me one thing that I have carried forward into many things in life. Most of golf was played in my head. It’s mental game. Especially my swing, the mechanics and the physicality of my swing had to be learned and stored in my mind and pulled out without thought or effort. It needed to become a natural part of myself.
Hopefully I haven’t lost you to the Picture Gallery yet, here’s where I tie it in: It needs to be natural, just like a being woman. A few months ago in April I had a great trip to Chicago and enjoyed several days out enfemme. The last day there, I was too exhausted to spend the time getting dressed and ready, so I was outside enjoying the warm day at the Oakbrook Mall. In front the bookstore I saw the prettiest girl, I watched her with envy as she walked thru the court yard, and perched on a bench. Everything about her was feminine, fashionable, smart, and beautiful. I looked her over as another woman would, and made a mental list of all the effort, it took to look this good. The hair, makeup, matching jewelry, eyebrows, her lashes, manicure, and pedicure, shaved smoothed and tan legs, designer shoes, and purse. It all looked so natural, graceful, and effortless. Just like the perfect golf swing. Are you pulling your clothes and makeup out of storage, like I did with my clubs and expecting magical things to happen?
My friend and I took a few lessons but continued to go to the range twice a week for a year, it became habit. On our lunch break Tuesday and Thursday we were there. If I was bored or idle somewhere I’d practiced my stance, swing and follow thru without a club. I practiced putting in the basement instead of watching TV after dinner. That September I shot 78 in a tournament. The year before I never broke 100!
I don’t golf anymore but I do cross-dress. The last 2 years have been very rewarding, and I have improved my image and have done things I have dreamed about for years. Just like the example I gave using golf, it takes effort. Just like that pretty girl in Oakbrook. If you look around our community online here you will notice the girls who look good, really work at it. It takes time this is a lifestyle. You need to set goals and work toward them.
I always dreamed of going out in public as a woman. When I turned 50, middle age crazy took over and I began working on it.
First I began losing weight, nothing makes you feel or look better, than being physically fit. I went from a size 26W to a 16 Misses. How you lose the weight is another issue all together.
I began buying makeup, from a very helpful SA at the NARS counter. Every couple weeks I’d buy another piece of cosmetic, and she would tutor me. Kasey was the first person who taught me not to be ashamed of being transgendered.
I would practice at home. Even if I wasn’t getting dressed, I would apply my makeup, getting better each time. I’d watch you tube tutorials when I couldn’t practice.
I saved up and bought a good wig. Wig stores are all TG friendly! If you don’t believe me call one, Be polite and honest, tell them you are a transgendered person looking for a wig and would like to come in. I guarantee, you are not the first. Once you have the hair, learn how to style it. Ask you your wig lady. I have had several classes where I learned how to style and comb out my wig. After the classes practice, practice, practice.
I found a gender therapist and for the first time in my life spoke openly and face to face with someone about this. Speak with any girl and she will tell you this is a big part of self acceptance. Because of this I was able to shed the guilt and shame I struggled with for years. I was also able to understand where I wanted to go with this. That’s when I set my goal, of being able to go out in public as a woman on a regular schedule.
Get a big sister connect with another girl online or in person, even if you meet endrab as friends. Having someone like yourself to support each other is important.
Practice your voice, smart phones have recording apps. Use your feminine voice every day, read road signs; use your feminine voice at the drive thru.
Become a student of fashion, find a TG mentor, and study other women. Which one are you? Find your style and not your fantasy.
Movement is my goal for this year, walking, posture, and body language. I am hoping to find a coach or modeling school to help and then like the above practice. In the meantime, when I shop the mall at lunch, I put my body into girl mode, nobody notices, and even if they did so what??
So much of my presentation has become second nature to me now. I walk out the hotel room door, smile, at the maid; stop at the front desk, without trepidation or anxiety. This self-assurance is contagious to everyone around you, it validates your appearance to them. When I visit cosmetic counters in girl mode, I am always open about being transgendered. The SA’s seemed to love the diversion of having a transgendered customer. We always have great conversations and I always ask them about my appearance. Most often, the words I hear are, poised, natural, and classic.
They say 90% of presentation is attitude and confidence. This takes effort and work. That confidence and attitude comes from the steps I outlined above. Enjoy the journey, the practice, the friendships, the accomplishments and failures. Then when you walk thru that door dressed for a day of activities you won’t even think about your swing it will be perfect.
The picture below was taken one year after I approached Kasey at the NARS counter shyly asking for foundation. I don’t have a before picture but Larry the Cable Guy could be a stand in.
For years I was a casual golfer, I’d take my clubs out of the basement dust them off, and hit the course 2 or 3 times a year. It’s no surprise my game stunk, and I was getting no better. I searched for the quick fix, new driver, new balls, a book, and maybe a couple of nights at the range. Nothing changed.
Years ago I got a new job, and made friends with a golfer in the office, we started going to an indoor range nearby and took lesson during the winter. The instructor taught me one thing that I have carried forward into many things in life. Most of golf was played in my head. It’s mental game. Especially my swing, the mechanics and the physicality of my swing had to be learned and stored in my mind and pulled out without thought or effort. It needed to become a natural part of myself.
Hopefully I haven’t lost you to the Picture Gallery yet, here’s where I tie it in: It needs to be natural, just like a being woman. A few months ago in April I had a great trip to Chicago and enjoyed several days out enfemme. The last day there, I was too exhausted to spend the time getting dressed and ready, so I was outside enjoying the warm day at the Oakbrook Mall. In front the bookstore I saw the prettiest girl, I watched her with envy as she walked thru the court yard, and perched on a bench. Everything about her was feminine, fashionable, smart, and beautiful. I looked her over as another woman would, and made a mental list of all the effort, it took to look this good. The hair, makeup, matching jewelry, eyebrows, her lashes, manicure, and pedicure, shaved smoothed and tan legs, designer shoes, and purse. It all looked so natural, graceful, and effortless. Just like the perfect golf swing. Are you pulling your clothes and makeup out of storage, like I did with my clubs and expecting magical things to happen?
My friend and I took a few lessons but continued to go to the range twice a week for a year, it became habit. On our lunch break Tuesday and Thursday we were there. If I was bored or idle somewhere I’d practiced my stance, swing and follow thru without a club. I practiced putting in the basement instead of watching TV after dinner. That September I shot 78 in a tournament. The year before I never broke 100!
I don’t golf anymore but I do cross-dress. The last 2 years have been very rewarding, and I have improved my image and have done things I have dreamed about for years. Just like the example I gave using golf, it takes effort. Just like that pretty girl in Oakbrook. If you look around our community online here you will notice the girls who look good, really work at it. It takes time this is a lifestyle. You need to set goals and work toward them.
I always dreamed of going out in public as a woman. When I turned 50, middle age crazy took over and I began working on it.
First I began losing weight, nothing makes you feel or look better, than being physically fit. I went from a size 26W to a 16 Misses. How you lose the weight is another issue all together.
I began buying makeup, from a very helpful SA at the NARS counter. Every couple weeks I’d buy another piece of cosmetic, and she would tutor me. Kasey was the first person who taught me not to be ashamed of being transgendered.
I would practice at home. Even if I wasn’t getting dressed, I would apply my makeup, getting better each time. I’d watch you tube tutorials when I couldn’t practice.
I saved up and bought a good wig. Wig stores are all TG friendly! If you don’t believe me call one, Be polite and honest, tell them you are a transgendered person looking for a wig and would like to come in. I guarantee, you are not the first. Once you have the hair, learn how to style it. Ask you your wig lady. I have had several classes where I learned how to style and comb out my wig. After the classes practice, practice, practice.
I found a gender therapist and for the first time in my life spoke openly and face to face with someone about this. Speak with any girl and she will tell you this is a big part of self acceptance. Because of this I was able to shed the guilt and shame I struggled with for years. I was also able to understand where I wanted to go with this. That’s when I set my goal, of being able to go out in public as a woman on a regular schedule.
Get a big sister connect with another girl online or in person, even if you meet endrab as friends. Having someone like yourself to support each other is important.
Practice your voice, smart phones have recording apps. Use your feminine voice every day, read road signs; use your feminine voice at the drive thru.
Become a student of fashion, find a TG mentor, and study other women. Which one are you? Find your style and not your fantasy.
Movement is my goal for this year, walking, posture, and body language. I am hoping to find a coach or modeling school to help and then like the above practice. In the meantime, when I shop the mall at lunch, I put my body into girl mode, nobody notices, and even if they did so what??
So much of my presentation has become second nature to me now. I walk out the hotel room door, smile, at the maid; stop at the front desk, without trepidation or anxiety. This self-assurance is contagious to everyone around you, it validates your appearance to them. When I visit cosmetic counters in girl mode, I am always open about being transgendered. The SA’s seemed to love the diversion of having a transgendered customer. We always have great conversations and I always ask them about my appearance. Most often, the words I hear are, poised, natural, and classic.
They say 90% of presentation is attitude and confidence. This takes effort and work. That confidence and attitude comes from the steps I outlined above. Enjoy the journey, the practice, the friendships, the accomplishments and failures. Then when you walk thru that door dressed for a day of activities you won’t even think about your swing it will be perfect.
The picture below was taken one year after I approached Kasey at the NARS counter shyly asking for foundation. I don’t have a before picture but Larry the Cable Guy could be a stand in.