outed to my wife tonight

[Erika_bagels]

didn't even plan it, I wasn't ready, but it came up in conversation how I'd shown her (playfully) that I was wearing her panties under my jeans, and I thought I'd pause our movie and make the discussion serious.

I told her that I'd talked to our drag queen buddy (a good friend of hers, offered me good advice) about it, to ask him how to tel her. I mostly just told her how I was intrigued and a little turned on by wearing lingerie and panties and such, and she seemed shocked, but accepting.

She did, however, ask me, "This is like, just in the house, right?" I hesitated and simply replied, "well, I mean, I don't even know how to put on makeup yet."

Little worried about the last bit, but generally glad I could have nipped this in the bud before it became a dirty secret. :D

[Mimi]

If she's okay with you dressing in the house this soon after finding out, you're in a pretty good place with her. Let her process what you've said, and let her get used to the idea of you dressing at home before worrying about her reaction to you going out (unless you've been going out on a regular basis, in which case she needs to know about this). Another small bit of advice--offer to buy your own panties. I'd be more upset with the panties being mine than I would with the idea of wearing panties. However, she might be more comfortable with the idea that you are borrowing hers for short periods of time than she would be with you purchasing them, so this would be a topic for discussion. And definitely introduce her to the forum--she will learn so much here.

[Eryn]

Sounds like you've made a good first step. Watch carefully, though, because she will have a lot of questions beyond the one she asked. There is a huge difference for her between having a "drag queen buddy" and having a CDer in your bed. Be there for her.

[Cynthia Anne]

Way to go girl! Now take it slow from here! Give her time to get adjusted to the news!

[Natalie D]

Oh that's great that she took it well. All the best for the future and let us know how things go.

[NathalieX66]

Glad she wasn't too alarmed. That's a good thing.
Go slow.

[Tanya C]

Sounds like serendipity, or perhaps your subconscience telling you it was the right time to come out to her. Anyway, it seems to have gone quite well. Only time will tell though as you've yet to contend with her follow-up questions and comments.
My advice is to be as honest as possible when talking with her about your crossdressing, because now that you're out to her any attempt to be deceptive or misleading about your cding will be seen as a lack of self acceptance or a guilty conscience on your part. And it will be very difficult for her to accept you if you come across as someone who still feels they have to lie about or hedge the issue by trying to minimize it.
Try to let her know what most of us already know, that there is nothing wrong with crossdressing. In fact, it's beautiful.

[Chickhe]

In the house for me means outside in public on halloween for fun and out on my own keeping her out of it, otherwise. I think, really, what she means is...no major life changes? Not going to start dressing all the time in front of the neighbors and friends... not going to have to explain to anyone or worry about you.

[RADER]

That was a great start; Now go and get your own Panties, I dough hat she wants to share underwear
with you.
Rader

[anonymousinmaryland]

Laugh. Live. Love. Talk about it. Then - - - go SHOPPING.

[gender_blender]

Awesome! Go wild! Have fun!

[Claire Cook]

She did, however, ask me, "This is like, just in the house, right?" I hesitated and simply replied, "well, I mean, I don't even know how to put on makeup yet."

:D

Erika,

When I told my wife years ago that was one of her responses (that, plus my overdone makeup: "You look like a French *****"). Her worry was that I would be recognized, molested or otherwise embarassed. (This plus needing the reassurance that no, I am not gay and am not looking for guys.) It has taken years for her to accept Claire being out and about. Give her all the time she needs; maybe she'll offer to help with the makeup?

[Sara Jessica]

Was this before or after you filled the room with your "aroma"???

reference www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?155485-...farting

Seriously, I hope all this works out for you as I'd like to think that there was much thought that went into not only the decision to tell her but also how to do so. I get concerned when I see new members (as in member since June 2011) diving head first into such serious matters that can have life-changing consequences, even with the best preparation.

[Erika_bagels]

Sara-
I told her so early, so that it wouldn't be worse when she found out later. She gets really weird when I don't let her know things that are going on in my life, she feels like she wasn't a good wife or something, because she couldn't tell something was different (shrug). As far as introducing her to the forum, I think I'm going to wait a while. Somehow I think she'd get overwhelmed, and also, I think she might have taken it well, but might change her mind about how comfortable she is with it later, say, when I want to buy my own underoos. (she does seem intrigued and turned on, but I also feel like she might be laughing at me, not with me...)
I guess time will tell.
And yes, this was after a giant fart-fest. You have me pegged!

[Sara Jessica]

My comment had nothing to do with getting her to join this forum. Rather, it was about new members (ie - you) coming into these pages, taking in what might be an overwhelming amount of info in a short amount of time, and diving head first into things such as disclosure to a spouse. Only you knew if the time was right.