My God, you have very pretty hands!

[Kathi Lake]

There I was, talking with a friend at work in her cubicle. She has seen pictures of Kathi (though I wimped out a year ago when I showed her, I told her they were Halloween pictures. Sigh.) Still, she has told me multiple times, "You are a beautiful woman - no offense." (None taken - believe me! :)).

Anyway, we were talking and she suddenly interrupted me by saying, "My God! You have such pretty hands! How do you keep your nails looking so good? Mine always break before they get anywhere near that long."

I hadn't realized how long they were getting as work has been incredibly busy, my wife is off at yet another conference, and life has just been hectic. I just don't pay much attention to them. So, I looked at the nails of my hand and she laughed and said, "Wow, you really are a girl! Here, let me show you how a guy looks at his nails" and she turned my hand around so it was palm up and curved my fingers so that my nails were touching my palm. "There!" she said. "That's how a guy does it. You keep doing it the way you did and your secret girly life will be out for sure!"

I must have blushed or something, because she changed the subject before I could even come up with a protest. Nothing more was said. It makes me wonder how many other mannerisms I unconsciously have. How did I look at my nails? The normal way, of course, like this:


160085

Now I don't think my hands are that pretty. I see a big set of man-hands. I see icky hair, fat fingers, veins and tendons, etc. Sure, I added a coat of polish tonight to pretty them up for the picture (and changed to my other wedding ring), but that's as good as they get. Yes, my nails are a bit longer than average, but I like them that way. As long as I can still type, they're not too long to me. Well until my wife says, "OK, buster - either clip them or polish them. They're prettier than mine!" and of course I know when she says that that polishing them is not an option! :)

Well, I guess it's time to go and do the "guy thing" and clip my nails. Pity. They make great scratchers, and I do love to look at them - the right way, of course - wrist bent up, fingers splayed, and with a look of satisfaction.

:)

Kathi

[Angie G]

You do hane a very nice looking hand Kathi.:hugs:
Angie

[Cynthia Anne]

Girl! you do have pretty hands! It's such a shame to clip those lovely nails!

[Sophie86]

They actually look a lot like mine, so I'm going to say "yes, they are very pretty!" :heehee:

Your nails are at the perfect length, too, which for me usually means I'm going to break one any day. It also means that in another week they'll be too long. :/

[AllieSF]

You know you have ugly hands when your granddaughter plays with the bulging veins on the back of your hand. She was doing that just yesterday. Believe me, Kathi, you have very delicate looking hands compared to mine, long thin fingers, pale, and I don't see your hairy hands at all.

[Kathi Lake]

? . . which for me usually means I'm going to break one any day.I actually broke the middle one a few days ago replacing the condenser in my car. :)


. . . when your granddaughter plays with the bulging veins on the back of your hand.My daughter loves playing with my prominent, bulging veins. Come to think of it, so does my wife. Right before she teaches her students about IVs, she'll practice on me. :)

Kathi

[erickka]

Your hands look fabulous, Kathi. Mine look like they belong on some odd variety of orangutan. Arthritis bumps, perma-dirt from being an outboard motor mechanic and hairy as all get out. Only in the slower winter months do my hands appear slightly better.

[gender_blender]

Very nice. I hear that all the time along with compliments on my amazing nails.

[Miranda09]

Well Kathi, you DO have very feminine hands, but I know what you mean about your own perception of them. When I see my hands done up with nail polish, I can see them as feminine looking, but without, they seem more manish. Hands are a hard thing to read, especially when you are the one trying to read them! :)

[nikki47]

Kathi,i know whatyou are going through,last few weeks i'd grown mine for the first time ever and they were getting really long.i was really proud of them.then my 19yr old son said that i had nails like his mum,i got so embarrased because he dosen't know about Nikki,that i clipped them straight away,i was so looking forward to polishing them,but i don't want him to know about me.

Nikki

[Sara Jessica]

Awwww, Kathi, your hands really are pretty. But like Miranda said, sometimes it's hard to get beyond our own perceptions.

Amazing what a little polish can do, isn't it?

Funny you talk about the way we look at our nails, being a gendered thing and all that. It reminded me of a college psychology class where we had the requisite guest TG speakers. They brought up a guy and a girl from the lecture hall and asked both to look at their fingernails. And of course the girl splayed her hands like you did and the guy turned palm side up and bent his fingers inward. Then came the foot thing. Both were asked to look at the bottom of one of their shoes. The girl bent her leg back at the knee and looked over her shoulder to get a peek at the bottom of her shoe while the guy basically turned his knee outward and grabbed his ankle to get a look from the front.

Amazing how that whole thing works as well.

[Claire Cook]

Well, I guess it's time to go and do the "guy thing" and clip my nails. Pity. They make great scratchers, and I do love to look at them - the right way, of course - wrist bent up, fingers splayed, and with a look of satisfaction.

:)

Kathi

Kathi,

What a wonderful compliment! Do you REALLY want to do this?? I'm probably using feminine mannerisms more than I realize ... and I'm more comfortable doing so.

[Patrice_CD]

You have very pretty hands Kathi as others have commented. My nails have been growing and just this week I polished them with light pink and am wearing them at the office. I love the colour and shine to them.

[Kathi Lake]

. . . along with compliments on my amazing nails.And you keep wonderful care of your hands and nails, Charlie - don't you?! I'm sure it shows to everyone.


Hands are a hard thing to read, especially when you are the one trying to read them!Hands, face, body, legs, . . . everything! When we are our own judges, we do tend to se the 'worst' in ourselves, don't we?


. . . sometimes it's hard to get beyond our own perceptions.Big time!


Amazing how that whole thing works as well.Yes it is. It makes me think that whenever I am really doubting who and what I am, and my overall presentation at large, that I should seek opinions from anyone other than me. :)


Do you REALLY want to do this??Want to? Not necessarily. Will do? Yes. Eventually. Although I did move that color (Susie sells sushi by the seashore) to my toes. :)


I'm probably using feminine mannerisms more than I realize ... Me as well. It makes me wonder. One day I would love to ask someone at work, "OK, it's just you and me - tell me, what do people really think about me? What do you think about me?" I truly wonder how people see me. I think its glaringly obvious just who and what I am, since it seems to 'leak through' in my daily life. I wonder who notices?

:)

Kathi

[SherriePall]

Kathi-- I must confess that I first thought the pic of your hands was actually a stock photo of a woman's hand. So, add me to the list of those who think you have pretty hands.

[SuzanneBender]

Kathi you hands look great! Madge would be jealous and yes if you get it you will know that I am dating myself with that one! I love your nail color and in my opinion your hands are petite and cute just like the rest of Ms. Lake. .

You know we are our own worse critics. I look at my hands and think fingers too spindly, hand to big, and we wont even mention the hair unless I keep them deforested. I have even been know to insist that they can fit in a small glove when I know deep down in my heart they are a medium or even (ooohhhh I can't belive I am going to say it) a large....

I was thinking the exact same thing Sara mentioned about how we look at our hands. I remember a very awkward moment in high school when I first found out about that fact. It was true when everyone looked at their nails every female held their hands out forward and every male flipped their hand over into a reverse fist, except me. I got such a razzing from my buddies for that one. Now we know that we are further proof of that fact.

[Sophie86]

Madge would be jealous and yes if you get it you will know that I am dating myself with that one!

Umm... yeah, I, uh, saw that one on TV Land. Yeah... that's it. When I was a baby. :heehee:

[Kathi Lake]

Umm... yeah, I, uh, saw that one on TV Land. Yeah... that's it. When I was a baby. :heehee:Riiiiiiiiight! Hey, you know that lie? You're soaking in it!

:)

Kathi

[Sally24]

Your nails are at the perfect length which means that in another week they'll be too long. :/

Ain't that the truth. I really hate to clip them when they get nice and pretty but between the wife and the rest of the world its best to keep them from getting too long.

[Kathi Lake]

I really hate to clip them when they get nice and pretty but between the wife and the rest of the world its best to keep them from getting too long.Well, if it were only a question of length, it probably wouldn't be as much of an issue. However, I tend to keep them prettily-shaped and buffed to a high gloss as well. Hey, I'm just a well-kept guy. That's all! Hey, why are you looking at me that way? You know what way. That way - yeah, with that knowing smirk that says, "Oh, I so know all about you!"

:)

Kathi

[kristinacd55]

Hmm.....Got news for you girl. She knows!! Oh, and btw your hands are gorgeous too.

[Mikaela]

Sheesh, I've gotten a reference like this before (from the only person that knows outside of the community other than my ex wife), but I guess it's not surprising. I just did the same thing and snapped a shot. No gloss, but my nails are longer than normal male.

almost 38 and most of my fingers have been broken from martial arts at one point or another. :/

[Kathi Lake]

VERY pretty!!

And ouch! Your poor fingers. I hope 'the other guy' looked worse.

:)

Kathi

[Mikaela]

I've only broken my own fingers (boards, blocks, once as a kid in dodgeball). I've broken other people's bones. :/
I don't fight any more, been 20 years.

[sallyissuper]

You have beautiful hands! I wish mine looked that well. I keep mine fairly short and buff them to a high gloss. I don't have the courage let them grow.

[Kathi Lake]

Hmm.....Got news for you girl. She knows!!Ya think? Am I that obviously girly? :)


I don't fight any more, been 20 years.Well, I never did. I weigh around 130 now. Imagine my skinny butt about 35 years ago. Once I was paddled in Texas for being 'involved' in a school fight. I told the principal, "Dude! I wasn't fighting. I was running!" Didn't work. :)


I don't have the courage let them grow.Yes, Sally. You do. You just have to silence that voice in your head that says, "What will people think?" Now I'm not exactly the poster child for that - there's many others here in the forum out much more than me - but it starts with a single step. Maybe it's time to let them grow out a little.

Kathi

[steftoday]

Kathi - you have gorgeous girlie hands.

Oh, I hate you, by the way.

:D :D

[Debra Russell]

I have always had long nails -- and my wife has always said "cut those things thay look f@ggy" I always said god gave em to us and they don't feel good if they are short -- well Debra is out now and we compare nail polish once in a while. My wifes best friend and I are the same size and resemble each other, our hands are the same size - only she has the most beautiful sclupted nails ,long and to die for ! I wish ! Mine are very thin and after about 1/4 nich past the end of my finger they split and it's time to start over. Kathy your hand and nails are very femm and I'am sure we are all jealous!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Kathy, You do have great looking nails that's a great nice looking hand.

I catch a lot of grief from my wife about my nails too.
My nails aways have clear shine polish/hardner on them.

I was in JCPenneys a couple weeks ago and the cashier
told me how nice my nails looked just before she said how
lucky my wife was for me buying her the nice skirts & tops
I don't think that she ever put 2&2 together and figured out
that I was buying for myself.

Orchid

[Kathi Lake]

Oh, I hate you, by the way.You know - I get that a lot for some odd reason. :)


. . . I don't think that she ever put 2&2 together and figured out that I was buying for myself.She's a woman. She works in a women's clothing store. Of course she put two and two together! :)

Kathi

[PretzelGirl]

Of course you have girly hands, and girly mannerisms, and a girly attitude. There are no surprises there and I bet that is what your co-worker thinks too. Reality is hard to hide, is it not?

[Kathi Lake]

Well, my wife came back last night, so it was time to clip them. I must say, I do miss them as they add a feminine component to my otherwise everyday drab existence. Well, mostly everyday. . .

Being an exhibitionist, I just can't seem to help myself, lately. I've been wearing a light coat of lip gloss almost everywhere. It is so funny to see the reactions from people; from the car next to me as I apply it in the mirror, from the people at the fast-food drive through, to the lady this morning at the bakery. I was ordering a cake. You know how you can tell when people aren't looking you in the eye? This lady kept looking me in the eyes, and then her eyes would drift down to my mouth. I loved the look of puzzlement she had. I wonder what her internal dialog was:

"Yeah, half-sheet. We can do that. . . Hmmmm, something's odd here. . . . What's that? Buttercream icing? Sure! . . . Wow, his lips sure look shiny. Chapstick? . . . Oh, no problem! We can have it by Saturday! . . . Wait, . . . he has something on his lips. Some kind of color or lip gloss. It's a pretty color on him, actually . . . Oh, no problem sir. Thanks for shopping with us!"

Who knows? All I can say is that I love the moment, as Sara's friend calls it the "Ah-ha!" moment, when they realize there's a disconnect between what 'should' be and what really is. I love trying to expand people's 'should-be's' by being a normal person with one little difference. :)

Anyway, here's a picture of my drab old man-hand. :)


160166

Kathi

[VeronicaMoonlit]

She has seen pictures of Kathi (though I wimped out a year ago when I showed her, I told her they were Halloween pictures. Sigh.) Still, she has told me multiple times, "You are a beautiful woman - no offense." (None taken - believe me! :)).

Have you ever thought about coming clean to her?


So, I looked at the nails of my hand and she laughed and said, "Wow, you really are a girl! Here, let me show you how a guy looks at his nails" and she turned my hand around so it was palm up and curved my fingers so that my nails were touching my palm. "There!" she said. "That's how a guy does it. You keep doing it the way you did and your secret girly life will be out for sure!"

She knows, go ahead and tell her and "use the words". I've done the nail thing both ways, this whole "slight androgyny when I want to be femme" thing I'm doing is messing me up!


Now I don't think my hands are that pretty. I see a big set of man-hands.

Those aren't man hands, and they are pretty.


I see icky hair, fat fingers, veins and tendons, etc.

When you're in the shower....shave off that icky hair. :-)


Well, I guess it's time to go and do the "guy thing" and clip my nails.

Sigh.


Awwww, Kathi, your hands really are pretty. But like Miranda said, sometimes it's hard to get beyond our own perceptions.

Right.



Hands, face, body, legs, . . . everything! When we are our own judges, we do tend to se the 'worst' in ourselves, don't we?
Big time!

Most certainly.


Me as well. It makes me wonder. One day I would love to ask someone at work, "OK, it's just you and me - tell me, what do people really think about me? What do you think about me?" I truly wonder how people see me. I think its glaringly obvious just who and what I am, since it seems to 'leak through' in my daily life. I wonder who notices?

Did the VeronicaMoonlit not suggest you talk to the most discreet member of the Gorgeous Gossip Patrol or the "Pilot Wife Room Moms"? :)


Kathi you hands look great! Madge would be jealous and yes if you get it you will know that I am dating myself with that one!

You're soaking in it.



Ya think? Am I that obviously girly? :)

Yes, yes you are.


I weigh around 130 now. Imagine my skinny butt about 35 years ago.

I'm going to say a stereotypical "jealous of the skinny bitch" phrase: I hate you. I'd kill to weigh that little at my height.


You just have to silence that voice in your head that says, "What will people think?" Now I'm not exactly the poster child for that - there's many others here in the forum out much more than me - but it starts with a single step. Maybe it's time to let them grow out a little.

Kathi

Even I have that voice, I wish I didn't.

Veronica

[Candygirl09]

I have been told I have girly hands before hehe, they aren't exactly normal guy sized and when I get rid of the hair on them I think they look much better. I use to hate my small hands
but I am finally starting to like and get used to them, but I wish I could keep them polished instead of boring plain :(

[larry]

Kathi,
Can you share with me where to learn about the shaping and buffing ?

[Kathi Lake]

Kathi,
Can you share with me where to learn about the shaping and buffing ?Larry, I'm afraid that the only way to learn is The School of Try and Try Again. I've been trying to teach my daughter to do her nails, and how to properly shape them. So far, it's been a train wreck! :) I bought her a book about nail care (it's perfect for her age - lots of cute things you can do with polish, like watermelon nails, etc.). After she read up on it, she gave me a manicure a week or so ago. It was so cute. She had warm soapy water in the sink, a nail brush, orange sticks, nail file/buffer, polishes, etc. She did a good job on the cleaning, but I had to take over when it was shaping time and show her how to file and shape. I showed her how to do a 'squoval.' shape to make the nail stronger (look it up, Larry. It helps keep your nails from breaking).

After a base coat, I then had to teach her that multiple coats of polish were better than one gloppy one. She had polish going from my nail tip all the way up to the first knuckle, it seemed. :)

So, my only advice to you is to play. It's fun! Eventually, you'll find a shape that is your own. Invest in good tools. I like Tweezerman tools - cuticle nippers, files, and their 6-way file/buffer shape and shine tool is the best! Find a good cuticle softener and you're on your way to prettier hands.

Enjoy!

Kathi

(wow, is it just me or did this sound like an advice column. Heh. Look for 'Ask Kathi' in your local newspaper. :))

[larry]

Kathi, Thanks for taking the time to reply and not just ignoring my stupidity. I found that I could actually mail your note to myself so it will be handy when I go shopping. Let the learning begin. hehe

[Kathi Lake]

Larry,

Learning is half the fun. The other half is doing!

Kathi

[Starr]

I never get any commments on my hands as the look older and less fem then yours, but i often get comments about my finger nails as i keep them long and filed as well as a nice coat of clear polish.. if going out then a coat of color polish.

[larry]

Holy smokes .. I looked it up and the first hit was "Nail Magazine" it had pics and showed how to do it. You are sure right about the fun being learning and doing. hehehe Thanks again.


Larry,

Learning is half the fun. The other half is doing!

Kathi

[kimdl93]

I don't think it matters if you clip them or not - your inner girlie life is certainly out there for this particular friend. My guess is that you have all sorts of mannerisms, from the way you look at your nails to the way you move that convey a message to those alert enough to notice. Guys won't...they don't see much of anything, but the women you work with probably already have it figured out.

[Chickhe]

Uhh... nope, no male hands in any of those pictures. Polish or not your hands look like womans hands. Stop complaining about them!