What would make the most difference?

[AKAMichelle]

I have thought about this a lot and wonder what things we could do to help people accept TG people as a whole. So I am asking what each of you do to further the cause?

[SuzanneBender]

I am proud of who I am when I am out and about and always act like I belong there just like anyone else because, dog gone it, we do. I believe if the rest of the world sees us as normal everyday nice people instead of some mass murdering freak in a movie that it furthers our cause more than any protest.

[PretzelGirl]

I'm with Suzanne. You can't push these things. You can get out and just act normal so people can see who we really are. And when they ask questions, we educate them. But if we are in your face or shoving our beliefs down their throats, we won't change their perceptions.

[BeckyAnderson]

Every time I go out (which is often) I always manage to engage someone in conversation. I'm a very outgoing individual who loves to interact with people so, for me, it's easy. I can't tell you how many questions they come up with. Many of those questions are included in the barrage of questions you get from an SO when you are discovered or come out. I've found that many people are extremely eager and happy to talk with a crossdresser. Call it "Reach Out", diplomacy or education...... Honestly, most people have absolutely no idea what we have gone through during our lives; the hiding, the lies, the fear of retribution, everything...... I'm so pleased that I am able to help someone understand who and what we are. I have made some great non-crossdressing friends this way and they learned something they knew nothing about. Hugs, Becky

[Sally24]

Years ago I helped start Sisters Family in the Boston area. It's a T-girl social group that meets at hotels and clubs. I now run the Manchester, NH chapter. We go out to all kind of mainstream venues so are constantly talking to the public. A few weeks ago the VFW was having a convention at our hotel. You could see many sneaking a picture of us.(if they had asked we would have posed.lol) We had a number come over to talk extensively with us. They were equally surprised to find that many of us were also Vets and married.

I've personally helped many girls suck it up and finally go out in public. When people see us out, smiling and enjoying ourselves its a positive thing for everyone involved. If t-girls aren't rare then the novelty of it wears off a bit and we are just other people.

[AllieSF]

I agree that the best way to get acceptance, is just to be out there and be recognized as guys in dresses or girls in guy clothes. I think that a lot of us who get out all the time have found that once a complete stranger gets over the surprise of seeing us, the conversation that follows is just like any other between strangers. I actually believe that the conversations sometimes are so much more fun with those strangers when I am dressed. I also believe that we need every legal protection possible so as to discourage discrimination and bad treatment when out. I have seen on television so many instances where CD's and TS's are depicted in mainstream programs like Chandler's dad who is a post op MtF on Friends and goes to his wedding. I think that the football coach on Glee is portrayed as a MtF., The humor about us, whether old school or new (new being more respectful) in my opinion is also good because it gets people watching something, maybe talking about it, and hopefully realizing that it is actually harmless to them. It is a type of education that can work. Most people react negatively to new things. History has shown that by protecting the rights of all and permitting the newness for some and the lifestyle or true self of others to go out into the real world safely has helped to eliminate discrimination and harmful acts, that goes from race, to sexual orientation, to now our crossing over to dress as the opposite gender. I do believe that we are actually starting to accelerate our progress with most of our gains coming as part of our inclusion in the LGBT group. Repeating, the biggest future gains need to come from all of us participants to just get out there in any shape, form or style of dress to interact with others. This isn't an order that each of you in the closet has to go out. But I have met enough in the closet that really want to get out when they finally get the confidence to do so, that they would be a big increase in the numbers of us out there to make a positive impact..

[Karren H]

Personally, I'm out online on FaceBook and other forums as a crossdresser... engaging people, discussing TG topics and showing them how normal I am... And how much we have in common.. And my intent was never grandiose... to further the cause so much but to just be accepted by people for who I am... If that enhances our public image then that's a bonus. I get a lot of emails and PM's mainly from women who want to know more... And have had some great debates some spilling over onto national radio through Facebooks fan pages.... Like the discussion of TGs, gender and restrooms... I have made so many awesome non-TG friends through hockey, makeup and Sirius Radio.... They out number my tg friends... And I chat with them daily. I still say that if you make what you do or who you are seem so normal... You take your reality and push it on those around you and they accept it... And adopt it.... I also have helped a number of women who have similar issues to what we have...

[NicoleScott]

Let's start here. Respect every crossdresser's reason for dressing, whether it is feminine identity, pleasure, fetish, comfort, personal expression, etc.
Respect a crossdressers desire to stay in the closet or come out on their own terms and schedule. Quit letting differences we have in politics, religion, etc. divide us. Understand that we all can't be out, not now anyway, for the cause.

[Dawn cd]

Karren, you are my heroine. I am in awe of your energy, your conviction and your general wackiness. Miss Conception indeed!

My way is more hidden. This Sunday the gays and lesbians of my NYC church are marching in the gay pride parade. They've asked us straight churchgoers to march with them in solidarity. So on Sunday I'll be out there, panties beneath my jeans (sorry Karen), secretly laughing because this closet T-girl is where she belongs with her brothers and sisters. When we help those who need the help, we CAN make a difference.

[Lorileah]

I agree with the be in sight more concept. But the biggest issue is getting the stereotype wiped out of people's minds. I may not be the best spokesperson for this because I like to dress "up" as they say and be noticed. So I would be a big beacon for many conservative people, especially women, to be used as a "I can't believe she is wearing that!" But even more to the point, if there were a way to get more positive publicity and less garish publicity (the pictures of Pride focused once again on the DQ's). That would help. So I explain what I am (and how I am personally) to people and they know that as a person I am still a good person and that doesn't change when I put on a skirt. So far that has involved maybe 100 people. But that's a start.

And as an aside, YOU Michelle have been a great model for trying to change the public's image. You are far more active than I ever will be and you are a heroine.

[Briana90802]

I think that the thing that would help the most would be a symbol that represents the CD community. This way when we are dressed in guy mode people will start to see just how many men and women crossdress. It would be like the "equal" symbol that people stick on there cars. We'd wear it proudly and openly so that people see we aren't afraid. After all it seem that people think we are weirdos because we dress in secret which of course is untrue.

Doing this, in my opinion, would further the cause of acceptance amoungst the peers which we so despritely seek.

[kendra_gurl]

I have spent the past 6 years dressed and on cam live on Paltalk a few nights a week. I have made lots of friends and educated them along the way. I always remain fully clothed and respectful of the other females in the rooms and when anyone does happen to ask either in private or in public chat about me I am honest in my reply.
Its quite often I'm asked if I am TS and I reply no that I am just a normal guy who likes to dress up a few times a week living as male 99% of the time. Some times (most often a guy) will say" Kendra someone told you are really a guy" I usually just say yes but not tonight and give them a big smile.
Being polite without feeling the need to defend how I am dressed seems to help me gain more acceptance from everyone as it does not lead to confrontation. It's very difficult to start an arguement with someone who refuses to argue back.
I have now gained enough trust and acceptance from otheres there they will be the first to come to my aid should anyone attempt to be rude to me and that shows me just how much effect the way I have been has changed others.

[NathalieX66]

Although I'm out & about (crowded shopping malls & restarants, anywhere) , I've met countless CD/TG/TS folk (including many on this awesome forum), and I also showed some friends some pictures of me, I still yet to be out fully en femme with friends or family. It may inevitably happen. Maybe I do a barbeque party with friends, and I'm dolled up someday.

I don't think the problem so much, is acceptance.....the problem is losing the perception people close to me have of me once I change genders. If they've never known this side of me, then how do I retain the bond that I've built with them, then do something contrary to what they've known me? Whether my friends, aquaintances, family are accepting ot not, that still does not diminish the fear that there are negative consequences , i.e. "alienation", for doing so. No one wants to be alienated.

[Gaby2]

I think that the thing that would help the most would be a symbol that represents the CD community.
That's a very true point, Briana.
I would love to have a symbol which would connect my everyday-life with my cding.
Last year, I considered changing my car-registration to include cd - I didn't though.
I still feel I would like to make a public statement, while keeping my personal-life private.
Perhaps it exists already and I just don't know.
Gaby (one small step at a time... )

[Rianna Humble]

My story has been told in both local and nationalpapers here in the UK and as a direct result I know of at least two people who were encouraged to make progress with their own gender expression (one who came out publicly as TS because of my story).

I have given some evidence to the chair of the Parliamentary group on Transgender Rights, although I also tried to put her in touch with others who were further down the line than I am.

I am active in an LGBT pressure group campaigning for Trans folks human rights.

I am out there every day living my life. On these forums, I try to offer support where I am able.

All in all, I don't actually do much.

[Cynthia Anne]

I think too we should show the world that we are loving, caring and normal people that always lend a helping hand!

[Kate Simmons]

Teach by example methinks. Just treat everyone as you would want to be treated and maybe they will eventually get the idea that it's no big deal accepting others for who they are as people rathet than this, that or the other thing.:)

[5150 Girl]

0The more common place we make ourselves, the more comon pace we will become

[GaleWarning]

I will continue to treat my students as people and refuse to tolerate those who say nasty things about, or bully, the ones who are less "blokey".
I will always challenge those who ridicule anyone who LGBT.

[eluuzion]

I believe the most significant and enduring changes occur by "good parenting" and education of the "next" generation. (children) We all have opportunities everyday to influence a young person's perception of the world, yet many of us fail to step-up.

Although most kids (and adults) view me as somewhat of an eccentric amusement in my approach to life, all are aware that I consider prejudice, insults and degrading people on a personal level a serious issue. I have never tolerated any personal attacks intended to belittle or discount another person's self-worth by my daughter, her friends, or anyone else I come in contact with. It is simple better to offer a hand than point a finger.

It is fine to find amusement in a person's behavior, including my own. But it is never amusing to make light of who they are as a person. That type of behavior is something we can all refuse to support whenever we encounter it. It does not require a "fight", it just requires non-support when it occurs to have a great impact.

just my opinion...

:love:

[Rianna Humble]

We all have opportunities everyday to influence a young person's perception of the world, yet many of us fail to step-up.

If ever I get such an opportunity, I will bear your words in mind

[docrobbysherry]

I DON'T!

I respect and am in awe of those that give of themselves for any and all worthwhile causes. However, I've lived my entire life doing my own thing. Neither asking or expecting help from others, or volunteering to help those I don't know.

I'm too old a dog to change my spots now!

[Fab Karen]

I am proud of who I am when I am out and about and always act like I belong there just like anyone else because, dog gone it, we do. I believe if the rest of the world sees us as normal everyday nice people instead of some mass murdering freak in a movie that it furthers our cause more than any protest.
Very true.
Here's another one: don't treat gay people like freaks ( or distance yourself ) if you don't want that karma coming back at you.


Symbols: "I still feel I would like to make a public statement, while keeping my personal-life private."

Gay people have symbols, but others quickly learned what they mean, you can't display symbols without them at least eventually having what they represent known.

[Jason+]

Being polite without feeling the need to defend how I am dressed seems to help me gain more acceptance from everyone as it does not lead to confrontation. It's very difficult to start an arguement with someone who refuses to argue back.


I couldn't agree with you more Kendra. A simple, polite and direct answer has always worked the best for me.


I think too we should show the world that we are loving, caring and normal people that always lend a helping hand!

The last time I was out dressed one of the places I had to go was the grocery store. A man was attempting to pull one of the large Hummer trucks into the only open spot in the row but was blocked by a shopping cart. I didn't see that his wife was around the other side of the truck getting ready to come around to the front and grab the cart so I walked over grabbed it and continued on my way. The man kind of scowled at me and pulled his truck in but as he did his wife came into view. She looked at me, smiled and said thank you on my way past.

My way is not to hide being male and that hopefully even if the chosen outfit sticks in their mind that hopefully how I behave in it and treat people will also stick.

[Gaby2]

Symbols: "I still feel I would like to make a public statement, while keeping my personal-life private."

Gay people have symbols, but others quickly learned what they mean, you can't display symbols without them at least eventually having what they represent known.

But that's just the point, Karen.
It would be nice to have a relatively neutral and simple symbol (but specifically "cd" )
which might just bridge the gap between "wanting to represent" and "representing".
Gaby

[Jason+]

But that's just the point, Karen.
It would be nice to have a relatively neutral and simple symbol (but specifically "cd" )
which might just bridge the gap between "wanting to represent" and "representing".
Gaby

How about a bumper sticker similar to the United States Marine Corps reading "Semper Transvestia!" (Written thoroughly tongue in cheek but it would be nice to covertly let like minded folks know I was approachable about the idea.)

[donnalee]

Historically, every successful struggle for civil rights has had a multiple pronged aspect. There is a range of activism from peaceful, non-confrontational passive demonstrators (i.e. MLK et al) to armed, potentially dangerous factions (BPP etc.).People, even those deeply bigoted, can usually find something in this spectrum they can live with; once they dip their toe in the water, it becomes easier to swim. So EVERYONE contributes to the cause in their own way.
Me, I'm the shy type. I've been out a few times, primarily at night, mostly doing errands around the house; I've driven to a mailbox, dressed, once, I think. I wasn't made up, had a 2 day beard, and wouldn't have passed to the nearsighted at 100 yds. I dressed when I was young strictly as an infrequent auto-erotic kink and never even thought of myself as a CD. I would purge every so often; none of the things I had were acquired through normal channels so it took time to accumulate new ones. Finally, about 5 years ago, I had acquired a button-up cotton skirt (too small, but worked if you didn't button it all the way) and decided to wear it while at the computer. My SO walked in & asked me what I was wearing. I told her, and added "I'm 60 years old and I'm tired of hiding this part of me." She replied "OK" and went back to the kitchen. From then on, when we were home alone together. I was mostly in a skirt or dress. I was under a lot of stress from a work situation, and it was incredibly relaxing and comforting to be able to change once I was home. She never complained and any questions were made just so she could understand. As her Alzheimer's worsened, I had to assume more of a parental role & she told me that I looked like her mother, which, I believe, comforted her. I lost her a little over 2 weeks ago; she never revealed my confidence, even though we had the usual amount of arguments over that period and her mind was failing. She told me, not long before she died. "I'm very happy in you. I never cared what you wore; you were the same person." I don't think I could have had a better partner in the 43 years we were together.
Donna