College

[ClaireB]

College I got accepted to Central Michigan U, im 18 and really excited for the fall. but heres my dilemma. should i "closet" crossdress at college or should i avoid it. im only wondering because i want to know if i should bring my "things" with me or leave them behind. FYI only my parents know about my crossdressing so it would be no trouble leaving them at the house. My dorm is shared by 3 other people, 2 In each bedroom with a common room between the two bdrooms. I'm in herrig if that also helps anybody.

[Karren H]

In Mt Pleasant? Know it well. My sister and brother went there. I went further north at MTU.... Yes. Take them... I did and that was a long time ago. Chances you find some local "girls" to hang out with. Or wander down to MSU cause there is no night life at Central! Lol.

[SweetIonis]

I lived in a dorm for one semester. Shared a room with two other guys. I was not dressing then. That came later on for me.

I have to say honestly, it's very difficult for me to see how you could make that work. Even if your roomate was okay, there's bound to be others in the dorm that would give you trouble.

But that's just one perspective. Perhaps others have better insight.

[Dawn cd]

I think it would be wise to delay bringing your fem clothes to college--at least at first. It's a whole new environment and you don't want to do anything that could spoil your reputation for the next four years. Check out the lay of the land first. Maybe you could bring a few things back to school after Christmas vacation. Good luck.

[sandra-leigh]

It's a whole new environment and you don't want to do anything that could spoil your reputation for the next four years.

So you are saying that I should have smoked up and snorted and gotten drunk in res? Not doing so "spoiled my reputation" more than anything I wore in res.

[SweetIonis]

I don't want to speak for someone else, but I remember what is was like. It might be difficult, but you can survive that environment as a non-party person. Actually I know people like that who didn't do bad at all. But I can't even imagine the level of difficulty in being a cross dresser in a guy's dorm, ESPECIALLY if you are the only one. And that's likely to be the case because no one is going to have the nerve to try to pull of something like that.

I agree with the other poster. The best advice might be to lay low and wait.

[trisha11]

Take them with you, if you dont you will end up buying some things there and hiding them, I made the mistake my first semester of leaving my things at home and ended up spending money that I didnt have on pretty gurly things, besides you will be surprised at how much alone time you will have and what better way to enjoy it then in femme

PS
I went to GMI in Flint

[sandra-leigh]

But I can't even imagine the level of difficulty in being a cross dresser in a guy's dorm, ESPECIALLY if you are the only one.

I can. On the other hand, when I was in res, we had individual bedrooms, so there was some privacy. If you regularly have some privacy, you can pull some clothes out and put them in your nap-sack / book-bag and go elsewhere to do the dressing. Underdressing can be accomplished in a washroom stall.

Part of the question becomes how comfortable you are in going out without extensive makeup and possibly without a wig. If it is a matter of shucking the jeans and putting on a skirt, applying lipstick and walking out in plain sight, then there are often a number of creative places to change. But they aren't necessarily open (or safe) at the hours one might wish to go.

I do not have any idea what things are like at CMU. At a university close to my work, they have put a concerted effort into gender awareness, complete with student council sponsored cross-dressing days, and they have designated a number of washrooms as being all-genders.

I have friends in the middle of transition who are attending university; certainly it is not completely problem-free, but the reports I am hearing are that the other students don't mind and are curious. The TS can't count on being called by the correct pronouns, though, for example.

I do recognize that "don't mind" is not the same as "are willing to live with".

I also have to recognize that the university experience in Canada is different than in the USA. Canada barely has sororities (and most universities here don't have them at all); from what I read, sorority connections can turn out to be fairly important in later life.

[Jennifer in CO]

I went off to college to BE Jennifer!...lasted 2 weeks before I met the girl who would be(and still is) my wife. You never know who (or how) you'll meet people!!

Jenn

[Stephenie S]

Go. Don't take any guy clothes. Especially if your parents know.

Let the college know and you'll get a private room. What a wonderful oportunity.

S

[Karren H]

If you don't want to take them with you can always do what I also did in college.... Choose your girl friends based on their dress sizes. Lol.

[suchacutie]

If you can arrange a single room and have a lockable container, then bringing your feminine stuff with you can work. If not, you have no idea what you could be walking into. Since your parents know, they could easily send you what you desire if it turns out that you can arrange your situation. Even if your initial situation is not the best, once you know the lay of the land you'll be able to arrange your living arrangement to match your lifestyle. If this happens soon, terrific! Have your parents send your stuff. If not, you can bring them back with you as soon as your living arrangement is what you want.

tina

P.S. another thought..the one that should have started my response: College should not be a pushover. This should be one of the intense times of your life as you begin to organize your professional self. Now is not the time to get sidetracked, especially in your first semester.

[ameliabee]

Hi Claire,

I actually started crossdressing while in college, and I still have two years left of undergrad! Had a similar dorm situation too my freshman year; half of the guys were athletes even. Never had a problem, but I kept to myself. If you're going to have problems in a dorm, crossdressing won't be what sets it off.

I don't know about how CMU is. My university is a liberal bastion in the deep south, and everybody who knew was very cool about it. There are also roughly 40k students at that university, so I didn't have to worry about 'reputation' issues.

Bring your stuff and have fun. Regardless of what some say, one should have fun in college - how many other times in your life are you going to have so much freedom and so little responsibility?

-Amelia

[Vickie_CDTV]

I was in this situation not too long ago, so I can give you some advice from experience. If your parents know, you may want to leverage tour gender issues for a private room in the dorm; if you are going to go to a liberal college, you may be successful. I was able to do that at my school, though for reasons not anything related to my transvestism (I did not tell them about it.)

Now, as far as dressing goes, I would not dare risk it on campus unless you are darn sure you will be safe and not face backlash. Instead, if you can, seek out a gender group or other dressers and dress away from campus. This is what I did, as I did not dare risk it where I went to school.

[joanna4]

Congrats on your acceptance. Since your parents knows and that you're sharing a dorm with a lot of people. I would leave the stuff at home and wait to come home and dress. While in college, focus on college. A great CD'er told me to never let cd get in the way of college(inside joke) lol

[Engendered]

It's sort of scary reading the replies here. Colleges (Irish colleges at least), are packed to the brim with the most open-minded people you can find. If you can't crossdress and enjoy yourself in college, then where else can you? Far from getting a "bad reputation", anyone regularly crossing gender boundaries in an Irish college would be seen as one of the "cool" gang. This is of course all dependent on the confidence of your presentation.
I'll defer to my American sisters on this though, as I clearly don't have the right view of what American colleges are like.

[PretzelGirl]

I find it a bit interesting too. It's been a couple of years since I went to college, but you find a lot of comments on these boards that university towns are the most accepting areas. So is it a difference of someone they don't know and doesn't live at university dorms vs. a student that they see daily?

[georgia_937]

I think you have to realize that we're talking the Midwest here, and the attitudes can vary from one community to another. For instance, I attend college in a nearby small city as a commuter, and my wife works at another in the same city. From both our experiences, there would be little or no problem in that particular city, however a city approximately the same distance in another direction from here, which has a college I almost decided to attend, is very definitely NOT the place I could see a crossdresser living in a dorm! In addition, the advice about concentrating on college is very well put. My advice would be to check out the "lay of the land" before you engage in something that may or may not be appropriate in the community, study hard, and assess your situation in a few weeks.

[DeSkirt]

Congratulation on going to CMU. Fire up Chips! My daughter goes there and she really likes it. I suggest waiting to see how you feel about your environment, then bring the clothes up later.

[Teddie]

You say you live in Cedar Point, if it the Ohio amusement park, which I doubt, it's a bit of a drive to CMU. But, if you live fairly close to CMU you might want to wait until your home for a weekend. Taking your girl clothes to college with you might be a little too much of an embarrassment for you.

[wearingtanpantyhose]

Yikes. It really depends on you, I think. If you want to be out as the guy who wears skirts to class from the get-go, you might be able to pull that off even though you'll have to put up with snickers and perhaps more. On the other hand if you want to stay under wraps and be the quiet guy down the hall, a drawer full of panties and bras in your dorm room might not be a good idea. I think I'd tiptoe into it. Bring a few things so you can underdress. Or if you have a car, keep a few outfits in the trunk. Then you'll have time to assess who your friends are and equally important, who they aren't.

[L0vleyme]

My only regret of college was that I was to focused on my reputation, that I pretty much squelched my dressing. Looking back, I wish I had gone to a school that none of my highschool classmates went to (though I'm not sure why I cared what they thought anyway) and just started to learn to be myself. I know I threw away a few good friendships with other CD's because I did not want my friends to associate me with them. In the coulda shoulda woulda part of life, college is about finding yourself and growing as a person.

[SweetIonis]

Well there were a variety of responses here so I suppose you can pick the one that you feel is suitable for your situation. I was thinking about this today and was reminded of the recent, unfortunate incident where a young man took his life after a video of him having sex with another man in the dorm room was posted on the internet. Perhaps that was extreme, but you may want to consider what you would do if you roomate put a camera in the room, took a video and posted for all the world to see. Just saying. So whatever you decide to do, be careful.

[Chickhe]

If I had to do it today, I would take the box of stuff and write on it in big letters...'Drag stuff'. Then if anyone asked I would say... One reason I'm here is to have a fun time and have been known to dress in drag sometimes. That way you let them know up front and they will probably ask you to do it. Better than hiding and these days I think most people will thing its pretty cool.

[ReineD]

I don't know how much you have, and if it is a lot, maybe you can bring a reasonable amount of necessary things with you, that you can add to the next time you get back home if you discover that you enjoy dressing in your new environment.

Be sure to check out the campus LGBTQ groups. They'll be a wonderful resource for you. :)



If you don't want to take them with you can always do what I also did in college.... Choose your girl friends based on their dress sizes. Lol.

Oh, ouch! I would not have wanted a guy to be interested in me just because of my clothes. :sad:

[ilana]

As a crossdresser who just graduated college and who dressed in college, I would actually not take my stuff if I was in your shoes. I didn't start dressing until I had my own room and some privacy. I went to a school that was moderately liberal overall but more conservative than the stereotypical counterculture campus. I think my friends would have accepted my dressing, but they also would have teased me about it a lot, and I'm sure many more people than just my friends would have ended up knowing.
The bottom line is: are you okay with everyone you meet knowing about your dressing? If the answer is no, then wait until you have your own room. If the answer is yes, then take your stuff, but do so with caution. Assuming CMU is not a really really liberal campus, being a known crossdresser could hurt your social life. I know some people are going to say something along the lines of "well, those close minded bigots who don't like your crossdressing wouldn't have been your friends anyway." But I think that if people knew about your crossdressing but didn't know you personally they might assume you are creepy (serial killers have definitely given crossdressing a bad name), whereas if you make friends first and tell about your crossdressing later on an individual basis, those people would actually know who you are as a person and would accept your crossdressing.

[Intertwined]

Caire, you may find this information useful:

Central Michigan University
Office of Gay & Lesbian Programs, LGBT Commission, Michigan Student Assembly, Michael L. Stemmeler, Coordinator, Ozell Hayes II, Chairperson; 313-549-2045

I found this information at the following website
http://www.transgendermichigan.org/transpages/c.html

[JenniferR771]

I would not take my femme things for the first few weeks. On the other hand you will have a great time. Bit of a party school, CMU, lots of cute girls. My nerdy buddy invited me up to visit while in college--had so many dates and parties he was tired all the time. Girls dorms had dances every weekend and sometimes on week nights.