I Need to Share: Tried a Personals Ad, Got a Reply

[wino_tg_girl]

I'm totally walking on a cloud tonight. I decided to run a personals ad on a normal dating site (plentyoffish.com) which is 100% honest about my crossdressing. I was worried that the site wouldn't allow the ad, but it's been up for over a month with no issues or complaints. My ad was not sexual, just honest about myself and my CDing hobby.

Previously I've tried running a personal on a dating site specific to crossdressers, but the only response I got there was from men who disregarded my wish to only meet and date women.

I got a sincere reply this weekend from my POF ad and exchanged several emails today with her. She seems genuinely interested in me, and my little secret. I even shared pics of myself in femme and in drab. She's an absolute beauty in my book (judging by her pics). She even complimented me on my girl pics.

I've never had a really difficult time with dating as a "normal" guy, but being in the closet has played a role in my ending past relationships. Secrets are really bad for emotional sanity and relationships.

I know it's a long shot that this person is "the one," but it has given me the confidence to keep looking and being honest about who I am. I've been extremely lonely over the last couple years because of being too in the closet.

I just had to share. Thanks everyone. (did I mention... I'm soooo excited!)

[TxKimberly]

That could be pretty cool. Honesty from the start, no hiding, and no fear. Sounds like it could be perfect! Good luck to ya'!

[Sheila11]

Good for you. It will be exciting to just be you.

[Amy Lynn3]

I am on POF too, but present as male. I have met a number of women and if I think the relationship might go someplace I tell them I cd. Not any have told me not going to happen, but we did stop seeing each other for other reasons. I think with the large amount of women on POF we are bound to find a few who will be okay with our crossdressing. At least it seems that way to me and my encounters.

[Yolanda_Voils]

Kewl;)

I've never answered but on Craigslist there's quite an interest in the mw4m section, often they'll ask for a CD, Tranny or whatever, check them out.

[PretzelGirl]

I hope it ends up being a good experience for you, whether she is the one or not. It is pretty cool that it is out on the table from the beginning. That sure saves a lot of thoughts and possible stress. Good for you!

[Beth Wilde]

I was on POF with my avatar pic and an honest (non-sexual) description. My account was deleted after 1 week, no notice, no email saying why and no response to the (so far) 12 mails I have sent to them asking why!

[noeleena]

Hi,

Funny that im on there wow thats good. youll see my info same pic as here & my name.

Now dont get any idears, he he ,,,,,,

...noeleena....

[kimdl93]

It's great to get a positive response to an honest and open ad. Just keep this in mind. Don't start out with a LTR in mind. Focus on getting to know and learning to enjoy each other.

[boardpuppy]

There is hope, its so nice to hear someone might find that "someone special", I'm so happy for you.

[Cynthia Anne]

Good for you young lady! I hope things work out great for you! Hugs!

[cd_in_de]

I did the same thing on POF, ran a personal ad that was honest about my CD. It was not deleted, but on the other hand I got no replies to it either. As such, I now present as a man, and when I do receive replies, I tell them in my first reply.

[wino_tg_girl]

I was on POF with my avatar pic and an honest (non-sexual) description. My account was deleted after 1 week, no notice, no email saying why and no response to the (so far) 12 mails I have sent to them asking why!

I didn't include a female pic of myself. I just put the crossdressing in my description, along with my other hobbies and likes. Maybe that would work for you. You can make some pics private on POF. When you make a pic private, people can only see it if you message them.

---

Thanks for the encouragement and concern everyone.

[Julogden]

Just be careful. While it's rare, there are women who will try to take advantage of you. I had a friend who met a younger, gorgeous, totally accepting woman. She was 100% encouraging and was involved with the community, even to the point of appearing in a local newspaper article on crossdressers as an advocate of the gender community. As soon as they got married, she switched 180 degrees and informed my friend that he/she couldn't CD any more. Then she got a shyster lawyer and divorced my friend, took everything, got the house, car and all the money which left my friend broke financially and emotionally.

So if someone appears to be too good to be true, proceed with caution.

Carol

[kimdl93]

As soon as they got married, she switched 180 degrees and informed my friend that he/she couldn't CD any more. Then she got a shyster lawyer and divorced my friend, took everything, got the house, car and all the money which left my friend broke financially and emotionally.

So if someone appears to be too good to be true, proceed with caution.

Carol

Caution always - and a prenuptual agreement!

[Julogden]

Amen to the prenuptial. It's a shame to have to do that, but it's a good idea.

[Farrah]

I admire your honesty from the start. Now she knows what she getting into and she can make a decision early. She may not be "THE ONE" but this will, like you said, give the confidence on down the road to be able to tell others you meet. Good luck!!

[Beth Wilde]

I didn't include a female pic of myself. I just put the crossdressing in my description, along with my other hobbies and likes. Maybe that would work for you. You can make some pics private on POF. When you make a pic private, people can only see it if you message them.

---

Thanks for the encouragement and concern everyone.

I suppose that's an idea.... I must admit though, I was inundated with messages..... Mainly from "straight" men....
I was advertising as a gay man looking for a gay man!

[KellyCD]

Just be careful. While it's rare, there are women who will try to take advantage of you. I had a friend who met a younger, gorgeous, totally accepting woman. She was 100% encouraging and was involved with the community, even to the point of appearing in a local newspaper article on crossdressers as an advocate of the gender community. As soon as they got married, she switched 180 degrees and informed my friend that he/she couldn't CD any more. Then she got a shyster lawyer and divorced my friend, took everything, got the house, car and all the money which left my friend broke financially and emotionally.

So if someone appears to be too good to be true, proceed with caution.

Carol

That's unfortunate, but also good advice as well. Kinda sounds like my roommate, she's been searching on Craigslist and posted a profile on "sugardaddyforme.com". Now she's in talks with a couple of guys about a "contract" marriage. I don't think she realizes getting a job is easierthan swindling money out of people.

[Tara D. Rose]

Caution always - and a prenuptual agreement!
Caution always - and a prenuptual agreement!

weLL I got a prenutial agreement before my third marrige to my now wife of just over two years. Of cours she didn't know about my crossdressing , for it was a non issue at the time of marriage. I had not become Tara since 1997. It was history. But I pushed for the pre-nup to protect my interst's in my own home that was almost paid for. But I can so relate to the GG that sis a 180% about face. Like I have said on here so many times before, not only form my personal experience, but of the thousands of true stories I have read, of wives doing this exact same thing. MIne was so encouraging for me to become Tara a little over a year ago, and we had a lot of fun and then suddenly, she flipped and carried on as tho she had just found out about the very thing that she had encouraged me so to do., and has threatened me 5 times to use it against me in divorce court. All crossdressers should take heed to all of the stories like this.

[Alicia_lynn419]

I also had an ad on POF as my fem-self.... nothing sexual, I thought quite well put. Like others, my ad dissapeared without notice, and everytime I've tried to repost, my profile gets deleted. I think POF is very bigoted and discriminating. Read their terms of use.. I never saw anything that lead me to believe I was breaking any rules by placing an ad as a CD. I have boycotted them completely... found that OKcupid is much more friendly and have had much more luck!

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

I've been on OkCupid for a long time and have listed my crossdressing as one of the details of myself for almost two years now, pretty much right after coming out. I've since actually met up with four girls via the site, which is actually more than I did when I wasn't out, and even a few months earlier this year when I tried, as an experiment, removing all references to my CDing from the profile and seeing if it upped my replies. It didn't, in fact I got none. Three of the four girls were after that.

It's really great to be open and honest with women about this part of myself before even meeting them so that it's all just out there. I do it way too often and it's too much of who I am to have to fully closet myself again to start dating someone new. I still dress fairly drabby for the first few dates till I make sure she's comfortable with it and then make sure she's ok with it before I just show up to a date in a skirt. The most recent girl I dated had already dated a full MtF crossdresser, so she was totally fine with it, enough for me to wear a skirt on our second date.

[wino_tg_girl]

We've chatted a bit over email and by phone since Sunday. I'm going out with her on Thursday evening. Meeting at a bar for a beer tasting event (I'm both a beer geek and a wine geek). I'll be in guy mode, like I usually am. I've only actually gone out in female mode once in my entire life. If she wants to meet Evie I'll let her, but I don't plan to push it. As much as she's wanted to talk about me as a crossdresser, I think she wants to meet my softer side very soon. She is very interested in my feminine side. I actually think it's one of the main reasons she contacted me. It's pretty surreal talking openly about it, a lot of damn fun too.

[Annaliese2010]

Pof is cool... but they dont letcha post triple x pics. Glad for u wino tg girl.wish i cld find a gg close by..not a thousand miles away..thats what i find fruatrating. Like...omg there she is the hottest chick..oh wait she's over there 8 states...dam its always that way!! The publicf##kbook is a good site, so is meetlocals but idk how many tg's on them...probly few. altcom prob the place to go and of course adultfriendfinder..anything goes.

[KimB]

Plentyoffish delated my profile today because of this line in profile
My friends say that I am easy going and easy to talk to and some do talk to me about almost anything including girl talk LOL I guess that would be beacuse I am a crossdresser.
I sent them an email asking if that is why and if they dont respond I am going to report them to the ACLU to see if I would have a case. I will keep you all updated on what I hear from them

[Natalie D]

I hope Thursday goes well for you.

I've been single now for about 2 years and I've meet a few women through dating sites. Nothing has come of it and I think part of the problem is my CDing. I'm happy doing what I do and don't want to stop. This is the problem, when do you tell someone about your CDing? The longer you leave it the harder it gets. But on a 1st date do you say Hi nice to meet you and by the way I love to wear woman's clothes.

The way you've gone about it is the the right way and something I've never even thought about to be honest as I think it's something I'd have to address in the future with the right person. Perhaps I'll change my "add" now and see what comes my way.

Once again I hope things work out for you :)

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

Pof is cool... but they dont letcha post triple x pics. Glad for u wino tg girl.wish i cld find a gg close by..not a thousand miles away..thats what i find fruatrating. Like...omg there she is the hottest chick..oh wait she's over there 8 states...dam its always that way!! The publicf##kbook is a good site, so is meetlocals but idk how many tg's on them...probly few. altcom prob the place to go and of course adultfriendfinder..anything goes.

Those sites are fine if someone is looking for a casual hookup, but not so much if someone is actually trying to date someone. And from my experience when I have ventured into such sites looking for girls who might be in to CDs, the responses I get are all spambots. They have this set up where the first email is very generic, like "Hi, I liked your ad, I'm new to town and looking to meet new people..." and then when you reply, the next one will have a link saying "Come to this site, I'm on here more" and then it's just a cam or porn site that wants you to sign up.

[cordgrass]

I signed up at okcupid yesterday and did searches on crossdressing and crossdressers and got nothing. :(

[TG-Taru]

I'm on okcupid, don't mention the word crossdressing, transgendered I do. Haven't made any searches myself. No real success, a few people have sent a little message, a bunch visited, some liked, but not left any message.

[wino_tg_girl]

I owe you an update!

Our dinner date went well. I showed up with flowers and really wanted to make a good first impression. She was very surprised by the flowers and was obviously flattered. I am not going to play hard to get with this girl and it was a good choice.

We met at a little mexican restaurant because the beer tasting I suggested was pretty far from her house. We chatted about life and work over dinner. We chatted so long that we didn't realize the restaurant had closed, we were the only ones left, and we were keeping the staff from their closing duties. The restaurant was busy when we arrived and I was so focused on her that I didn't realize it had emptied out. When we walked outside she was very into a goodbye hug. We then chatted by the cars for a while. Once we were out of the restaurant she wanted to talk about Evelyn and was more flirtatious. She told me that she is attracted to my male side but really wants to see Evie too. She is definitely into my feminine side. We chatted about girl stuff for about ten minutes.

She isn't really a girly girl. She wore a baggy tshirt and jeans. She is a little plump but I honestly prefer larger women (which I did put in my ad). I only dated larger girls even back when I was athletic and thin. She has long very pretty straight blonde hair and a really beautiful face. I got the impression that she isn't confident in her appearance. I honestly expressed to her that it would be difficult for me to find her more attractive. She is short, curvy and has a naturally very pretty look; I am very attracted to her. I think she sees herself as being much more overweight than she actually is. Pop culture is too rough on women who aren't thin.

Once we were outside and talking she was much more flirtatious. I gave her a quick peck kiss when we had our final parting hug. She gave me a very genuine smile as a result. If I wasn't so concerned with scaring her away I may have given her a much more romantic kiss (I definitely would have if she only knew me as Jeff and didn't know about Evie).

When I got home we texted back and forth for a while. I told her that I plan to work on makeup Saturday morning. I have some naturally female pics that I shared with her, but my makeup skills don't hold up well to close inspection. If she likes my female side as much as she likes my female pics I think I'll be in femme with her on a fairly regular basis, and I love that idea. I love dressing but it is kind of depressing to just dress up and hang around the house alone.

She didn't come right out and say it, but I think she is bisexual and is attracted to both men and feminine women. I'm no manly man but I'm definitely not overtly feminine as a man. In some of our correspondence she told me about a man who she is friends with who she spends some of her free time with. She expressed her frustration with him not taking it to the next level. Because of this I know she is sexually attracted to men and I'm pretty sure she told me this to let me know that she's not just a tranny-chaser. It also makes it clear that she is looking for romance.

I like her a lot. If I had run an ad describing exactly what I am looking for in a woman I couldn't have done any better. I'm really excited to see how and if it progresses. At the very least, I found a new girl-friend. Hopefully it will become more but I'm happy either way.

[donnatracey]

Thanks for the update - glad it went so well. Fingers crossed the relationship will develop further as time goes on...:)

[Nicole Erin]

Just if you see her again, make sure and tap that while you got the chance. Cover up the ol Johnson though, no need for kids to be coming 9 months later.

[wino_tg_girl]

Just if you see her again, make sure and tap that while you got the chance. Cover up the ol Johnson though, no need for kids to be coming 9 months later.

I'm kind of a girl that way. Quick **** masturbating into a girl isn't really all that fun to me. I can get off fine on my own if its all about the orgasm. Firstly, I'd rather keep her as a friend than just have quickie sex and never see her again. Second, I tend to get kind of attached when being that intimate. I won't have sex with someone who I don't want to have a monogamous relationship with. I also feel very hurt when sexual relationships end. I'm not into one night stands.

I'm disease and kid free at 38. I know how to be careful. Plenty of experience. Thanks for your concern (I guess).

[IMkrystal]

There is hope, its so nice to hear someone might find that "someone special", I'm so happy for you.

I have posted on both sites with no luck both in male mode and cd mode, although never together, with no luck. I am afraid someone from work will recognize me if I combine both profile together. I have been online dating for many years and have yet to make a connection. I have even posted in the "meeting Form” on here with no replies. I congratulate you on your luck, but I have a better chance of being struck by lightning than meeting a woman where there is mutual acceptance. :sad:

[Kristi Moore]

I was on POF with my avatar pic and an honest (non-sexual) description. My account was deleted after 1 week, no notice, no email saying why and no response to the (so far) 12 mails I have sent to them asking why!

Beth I don't believe Avatars are aloud. Your pic here is lovely

[Leelou]

Wow, how cool is that, Evie! Thanks for the update--it sounds like the first date went super. Good luck and good for you being so up front about it.

I must say, though, I'm very disappointed to hear from those who have had their profiles deleted for the mere mention of crossdressing. Just goes to show the discrimination we face. I'm glad Evie's profile wasn't deleted before she met this woman.