How many of us were born prematurely?

[Frédérique]

Just curious. I’m wondering if this may have a connection, in certain circumstances, to MtF crossdressing, or crossdressing in general, perhaps thrusting us into the world before we’re truly ready and, as a result, leading to emotional issues akin to dislocation...

I met a good friend on this site by way of our mutual premature-ness, something that was only discussed informally at the time. My friend has felt a kind of apart-ness since birth, always out of step with the world that surrounds us, always conscious that she may never catch up. Whether or not “normalcy” is desired or dismissed is open to conjecture, but the idea opened my eyes to the possibility that premature birth may have contributed to my own need to crossdress, at least indirectly. Is something under-developed inside of us, and we seek to redress the balance?

I was born a month premature, and it’s a good thing I was, because the umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck, trying to strangle me before I made my scheduled appearance. I was a “blue baby,” and I spent a month in an incubator getting fully cooked – to this day my sister relates the tale, and she proudly displays a photo of her holding her little brother, taken the day I finally came home from the hospital. I suppose I could’ve come out of my ordeal with brain damage, but I was very lucky – again, my sister insists that my “odd” personality is the result of premature birth, since I’m definitely NOT like the other boys. I also used to fall, hit my head, and knock myself out a lot as a youth – I feel this may have contributed greatly to the development of my artistic nature (pardon my self-deprecating joke)...

Does being a premie mean anything? I’m rather emotional for a boy, which led to isolation at an early age, although there were other factors. The fact that I exist at all is because of a mistake, or a miracle, depending on how one looks at it. My parents were getting too old to have children, but, BINGO, I came along, and ten years after my last sister was born. I often wonder what would have happened if I had been born a girl, but my father REALLY wanted a boy, a boyish boy of the genus BOY. Being born prematurely added a dramatic twist to the proceedings, and I was seen as something of a miracle baby. I was also the only boy born to a family of five brothers, but they didn’t really get what they hoped (or bargained) for...

Being a premie, I was either in the world too soon, scrambling up a slippery slope, or I was protected too much to do anything normal or meaningful with my life. Left to my own devices, I made my way through the forbidding forest of adults I had parachuted into against my will. I do everything the hard way, which means I came to crossdressing later than most, once again struggling to catch up and be seen as an equal. Does it have something to do with being born prematurely, or just another example of missing the boat, again, or arriving too early, before the boat leaves the dock? I’m getting sea-sick just thinking about the missed opportunities! I was born in June, but it should’ve been July, so I do not subscribe to this Gemini theory of “two sides” to someone’s personality (or gender expression). Your results may vary, but I am very much betwixt and between all the time...

The situation of being born prematurely, and the profound effect it may have had on my life, never really crossed my mind until I came here and met other crossdressers like me. It may have something to do with it, but I’m certainly no expert. I mean, someone had to tell me that I was born prematurely, since I was too young to remember. All I know is this un-knowable condition without a name, let’s call it displacement, leading to spinning in circles, blindfolded, trying to grasp something tangible in an effort to feel complete...

Were you born prematurely, and, if you were, do you ever think about it this way? :thinking:

PS – Take my advice. Don’t “come out” too soon, OK? :battingeyelashes:

[Sylvi]

Hello there. I was born 2 months premature, but i had never thought about my love for cross dressing that way. I think my hobby has more to do with how i was raised, rather than how i was born. I was raised by a mostly female family. I spent most of my childhood around my aunts, and my mom. That was probably why i was more comfortable with females, and female activities. Though I still enjoyed many male activities.

I suppose though, that my premature birth caused my family to shelter me in a way, and that was what led my aunts to be such a big part of my life. So maybe my birth did have an indirect effect on my life. I would have never of thought of this if i hadn't read this post. It's quite enlightening :)

[Barbara Dugan]

I wasn't born premature but I was a very fragile baby and used to be hospitalized many times also my mother always says that from all my siblings (6 of them) I was the more unique and different...she never admit it but I know what she means...the gender ambivalence

[JustWendy]

To build on what Sylvi started, perhaps there is a connection to being premature and a tendency for the parents to be over protective - perhaps limiting the way they allow their child to explore the world - not being as lax as they might normally be with a male child, not as tolerant of daredevil behavior. I wasn't premature, so this is just a thought, not experience.

[Diane Smith]

I was born about three weeks early, I'm told. I didn't have any short-term physical or mental complications as a result, but my mom did -- she hemorrhaged during the delivery and the pretty serious loss of blood kept her (and me) in the hospital for about an extra week afterward. Both my parents are gone now, so I have no way to ask any more questions about it, but I have absolutely no idea if this made any difference in how I was treated early on or whether it could be related to my gender issues or any other aspects of my personality. It's an interesting conjecture, though.

- Diane

[Cynthia Anne]

Gee now I know I was born 40 years early! Oh well too late now!:daydreaming:

[Michelle James]

I too was a premie. Several weeks early and less than 5# at birth. That coupled with the fact that my mother wanted a girl and dressed me like one for the first six months. What would you expect the outcome to be?

[ChanDelle]

Not that I'm aware of. Never been told that I was born early. It will be interesting to see how the responses for this thread develop. Although I have always felt out of step with most folks and this planet. Wonder why?

ChanDelle

[Debb]

I was two weeks premature.

[Debglam]

Preemie - incubator baby too. Still think the answer will ultimately be hormones - genetics, but an interesting premise.

[Amy Lynn3]

I was in the oven for a full nine months. I know many threads have been started as to the cause of crossdressing, but for the life of me I don't know why I like to crossdress, but I do.

[Schatten Lupus]

One of my friend's dad was a month premature, and today he is a seven foot tall hippy.
Myself, I wasn't early, but I was a month late. But like others mentioned, being trans and early or late would probably be more of the way parents might have become over protective. We would probably have seen a much stronger trend in premature babies being trans if a correlation existed.

[Genivieve]

Whoah. Interesting. I was 1-2 months premature.

[Karren H]

I was born immature... Apparently you don't grow out of that?

Your only young once but you can be immature for ever! :).

[busker]

NO, I came in on time and under budget. But, I am a Gemini!!!!!!!!! so far as I am concerned though, I would have been better off had I been born in 1600 or 1750 and maybe 1900. I definitely don't fit in very well in my own generation.

[Maxi]

I was 2 months premature.

[Rachel Morley]

My Mom had super high blood pressure toward the end and so the doctors thought it best to induce. I was a month early.

[TGMarla]

I was born nearly 2 months premature. But I am also a twin, which can contribute to that. Furthermore, my mother smoked, like so many others in that day, and that could also be a contributing factor. As far as I know, my brother does not crossdress. Me? Well, I've been known to indulge in it from time to time.

[rhonda]

Apparently there must something wrong with crossdressing , why do I do it ? seems to be not to be normal ,need a excuse for doing it instead of enjoying it . I don't need an excuse to do it

[Gaby2]

I don't know, Frédérique... I must ask my mother.
Everything you wrote in your OP sounds strangely familiar!

I'm the "smallest" and probably the most effeminate of four brothers.
The youngest boy was always Mammy's most precious child - she lost a baby before him.
The oldest, her fair-haired boy.
Up to now, I never wondered if any of them crossdress... or if they're premies...
My mother was extremely fond of us, almost Oedipus-like.

For the record, my eldest sister tells the story that she, my other sister and elder brother were bumbled into a bedroom shortly after a man with a black bag turned up at the door.
After he had gone... well, there I was.
They were convinced that I had come in the black bag.

:hugs:Gaby

ps Rhonda,
I now know that cding is in many ways very special and that I'm not at all unique in this big good world.
Before I recently realised this, I often felt that there was something wrong with me and with cding.

[Vickie_CDTV]

I have seen a few reports that site a link between being premature and transvestism (didn't mention transsexualism; they also say being an only child also puts one at increased risk for developing transvestism.)

I was 6 weeks premature, was under 2.5 pounds (could fit into the palm of my uncle's hand) and was in an incubator too. I was supposed to have been born on my mother's birthday, oh the irony! Both of my siblings were stillborn. From what my mother tells me, I should have died, had they not had the technology they had in the mid 70s.

My mother also smoked, and I am sure that was a contributing factor (among other) in being premature and the death of both of my potential siblings.

As for a sheltered life, until I was 4 my mother and I were inseparable, until I started preschool (under great protest from me.) I spent those early years alone with her, isolated by living in the middle of nowhere with no car of her own to go anywhere, no other kids etc. I had an absentee workaholic father I rarely saw (and when was around was abusive to me and my mother.) He was always calling me a sissy, well later on he found out he was right...

[Natalie D]

I wasn't born premature but I did almost arrive before the midwife. I was born at home and the midwife got held up on her way to the house. She was on a bike apparently.

[suzy1]

I have to say, from a purely medical point of view there seems to be no connection between premature birth and crossdressing.
As for living a sheltered life when young, who knows?

I was not born premature and certainly not sheltered when young. And yet here I am, Suzy at her best!
An interesting point Freddy my friend.

SUZY

[WifeofWrenchette]

My SO, who is a crossdresser, was born premature. Woah, I didn't know there was a correlation.

[Steph.TS]

my mom was induced 2 weeks early because her doctor wanted to go on vacation lol

[Nikki A.]

I was a preemie also, under 5 lbs and I was an only child, also is a very matriarcal family. I guess I just no chance to be normal LOL.
Seriously though, according to what I've read over the years. In our early stages of development we all start out as females. Only later on do we develop into males. Is it possible that being premature that part of our brains hadn't caught up with our bodies and thus we have our fem sides?

[Pink Person]

I was born three months early. I think transgender characteristics can be linked to early birth, but the connection is not strong enough to have much predictive power.

[Babeba]

So after a day, only about 20 or so folk state that they were both preemie babies and adult crossdressers... out of all the people who post on here, that doesn't seem like a lot. I'm not sure whether the ones who don't feel that way just didn't post, or if some people who feel that way didn't post either? either way, it's not very representative yet.

Just to voice a different perspective, my brother was born prematurely and kept in the hospital for almost a month due to my mom being injured from the birth and unable to go home. He definitely doesn't crossdress (though many people think he's odd, sometimes). He IS interested in clothes, but masculine ones - I wonder if some day he'll match Don Cherry in sartorial brilliance. I've never discussed the topic of crossdressing with my Uncle who was born so prematurely that my grandparents hadn't even told their other two children they were expecting; but he has had a very thick, heavy beard all his adult life and is kind of the opposite of interested in clothing. So in being strictly premature I don't see a connection. The ongoing extra 'protectiveness' from parents makes some sense to being a contributing factor to feeling female - maybe like how smoking increases the risk of lung cancer but some people don't get it?

Michelle, a long time ago (I know it happened in the late 19th century through to the early parts of the 20th century, so not THAT long ago) it was common for all babies to be dressed in gowns - long gowns for babes-in-arms, short ones once they could toddle around in once they were crawling age, getting to dress in short pants by the time they were 2-5.. so dressing in girl clothes for 6 months maybe doesn't make as much of an impact.

[PretzelGirl]

My SO, who is a crossdresser, was born premature. Woah, I didn't know there was a correlation.

I would bet that about 50% of us were early. And also I would bet that about 50% of us were late. Okay, so maybe there are about 1% that were right on time, so my numbers need a slight adjustment. I was three weeks late myself and given a firm boot out by the doctor on top of that.

[Genivieve]

I think the observations made about behavior, perception, and relation to the world were really interesting even without the crossdress context. I was going to make one of my first films about this. I talked to a teacher and she looked confused haha! So I worked on another idea...

My mom said that I always created a sort of "nest" in my crib and tried to feel as secure as possible. I'll admit I still love sleeping with a big pillow or stuffed toy. Also, I would always use stalls to go to the restroom...make tents out of blankets to relax...I seemed t always make an attempt at securing myself. Like the opposite of claustrophobia but not to the extreme point of agoraphobia.

[Tara D. Rose]

Well I wasn't born prematurely, I was born right at 110 year too late. But I have to make the best of it.

[Frédérique]

…perhaps there is a connection to being premature and a tendency for the parents to be over protective - perhaps limiting the way they allow their child to explore the world - not being as lax as they might normally be with a male child, not as tolerant of daredevil behavior. I wasn't premature, so this is just a thought, not experience.

I experienced this over-protectiveness from my mother, so there’s a lot of truth to the idea. With a lot of adults being around me at all times, I was the obviously the smallest and most vulnerable. That being said, I was allowed to explore the world in a constrained sense – my parents, my grandfather, and my sisters all kept watch over me, and my mother definitely sheltered me from the world at large, leading me to become shy once I started to go to school. I must say my parents didn’t really guide me in any direction, probably because I was an unexpected surprise…


I was born immature... Apparently you don't grow out of that?

Imagine being born MATURE! That would be no fun at all…:eek:


I was born nearly 2 months premature. But I am also a twin, which can contribute to that. Furthermore, my mother smoked, like so many others in that day, and that could also be a contributing factor. As far as I know, my brother does not crossdress. Me? Well, I've been known to indulge in it from time to time.

My father smoked until the day I was born – perhaps my premature birth scared him! You’ve been known to crossdress occasionally? That HAS to be the understatement of the 21st century!
:heehee:

[karenhunni]

one month premature here , and in an incubator too .

[Beverly]

Very interesting Thread! I too, was born a month premature. I have been crossdressing as long as I can remember! My two older sisters would play dress up with me. Growing up, my father wasn't around much. My mother would come home from work and find me completely dressed and yell at my sisters. The worse thing she would ever say was "Don't ever let your father see him like that".

[Kelly Greene]

I came out 6 weeks early
I think all this really means is that I was in a hurry to get out.

[Kate T]

Born 2 weeks late. Just posted to start evening out the numbers. I doubt it has any real connection.

BTW if you REALLY want to show a correlation between crossdressing / transgender and pregnancy term you would have to first look at the distribution of pregnancy term for ALL babies then compare that of a sample of crossdressers (ideally matched for age). You could then statistically demonstrate either a relationship between term of pregnancy or no relationship. That being said it is an interesting psychological theory / posit with regards to premature babies (particularly those with health problems) having more "protected" upbringings.

[Beth Wilde]

Nearly 2 weeks late, just to annoy my mum I think! I was born on her birthday.....

[dilane]

I was born about 20 years prematurely! No internet, no community, it was the dark ages for sure...

Natally, I popped out at the correct time, but with mysteriously long index fingers though...noticably longer than my index fingers. No other males in my large family have that trait.

[joandher]

Me Too 8 weeks early, should have been July ,but forced out in May, and weighing in at 1 lb 7 ounces but no incubator as they didn't have them at that time, Doctor told my mum sorry but he wont live as he's dehydrated.
Outlived the Doc, he he.

Hugs J-JAY

[Frédérique]

I too, was born a month premature. I have been crossdressing as long as I can remember! My two older sisters would play dress up with me. Growing up, my father wasn't around much. My mother would come home from work and find me completely dressed and yell at my sisters. The worse thing she would ever say was "Don't ever let your father see him like that".

My two sisters were too old, too self-absorbed, or too unimaginative to even consider dressing up their little brother, so I missed a huge opportunity. Pity. My father would’ve hit the ceiling if he had seen me dressed as a girl, ditto my mother. I grew up in a world of pre-determined gender roles, in a gender-specific atmosphere, but my daydreams eventually became reality…
:battingeyelashes:


BTW if you REALLY want to show a correlation between crossdressing / transgender and pregnancy term you would have to first look at the distribution of pregnancy term for ALL babies then compare that of a sample of crossdressers (ideally matched for age). You could then statistically demonstrate either a relationship between term of pregnancy or no relationship. That being said it is an interesting psychological theory / posit with regards to premature babies (particularly those with health problems) having more "protected" upbringings.

I wasn’t trying to show anything – just curious to see if there were any other premies among us. While writing and thinking about this I became more aware of "little" me being protected (or sheltered) as a child. Having a difficult beginning to life may have been a contributing factor…

My oldest sister was born right on schedule with no difficulties, but she later came up with a mysterious problem, along with mysterious symptoms, at the age of eight, and the same thing happened again at the age of 27. On each occasion she had a substantial cyst removed. I’ll spare you the gory details, but it is theorized that she “absorbed” two sisters in the womb, later manifesting themselves as problem-causing cysts. I think this is called fetal resorption – you can look it up. My sister made the medical books! Despite this odd occurrence, my sister has never felt like three beings in one body, nor does she feel like part of her unseen persona is missing, never to return. She just shrugs it off as something odd, and leaves it at that. What I get out of this is that crossdressing, or any other latent tendency, remains an unexplainable phenomenon that can result from any type of birth or any subsequent situation. Life is endearingly mysterious, in other words, and statistics ultimately cannot explain everything…
:straightface:

BTW, if my oldest sister had been triplets, my own conception may have never occurred at all...:whew!:

[AKAMichelle]

I was born almost a month late weighing 10 pounds 6 ounces and 24 inches long. If it is a pattern being premature then I am the exception.

[Kendra Sue]

Not born premature but my mother was 42 when she had me.

[SusanQ]

I was a 7 month baby, but I had no health issues. This is certainly an interesting thesis...I never considered that there could be a correlation to my wearing women's garments, and my premature birth. I always attributed it to two things: my household was quite maternally dominated, and frankly I thought that the stuff I saw my mother, aunts and cousin wearing looked intriging to me...and felt great when I tried them on.

[adraine]

I was born appox a month and a half prematurely myself , with a twin brother to boot in june as far as I know I'm the only crossdresser in the family ; and i've been a cder since I can remember

[Phoebe P.]

I believe I was 2 weeks premature, but they may have missed on the expected date. I was 8# and 24".