Went on my first date. It was a real joy.

[JennyA]

I had posted an ad on Craigslist for a date. I got 17 responses. More then half were vulgar private part photos. Some were creepy and the rest had 3rd grade sentences.

One of them seemed pretty cool. He could form thoughts, seemed nice, and sent me a photo...of his face!

We played phone and email tag for a while and finally met up. As soon as I got in his SUV I felt relaxed. He was very relaxed, nice, and made good conversation. We went back to his place and hung out for three hours. It all went perfectly and he treated me like a lady the whole time and made me feel special.

I've seen plenty of posts on the forum saying that you can't hope to go on a good date or get in a relationship Pre-op. I've always been more optimistic and thought that pessimistic attitude would just be self-fulfilling.

I know it was just one 3 hour meeting, but it couldn't have went any better. If anyone takes anything from this just know that their is always hope, even preop.

Sure, maybe he'll never call me and let me down, but it was a fun try and if anything will give me the motivation to go for it again.

[Hope]

Jenny I am glad you had a great date - and I am so delighted that things worked out for you! I really am. But - your recounting of your date made me cringe. And it is not just you - I hear stories from other girls here and other places that are like this all the time.

Here is what made me cringe: You were meeting a guy for the first time (a guy you met through a Craigslist ad no less) and you got in his car and went to his apartment? Yikes!

There are lots of creeps in the world. You have to keep yourself safe. You got lucky this time, this guy was cool, but you can't count on it happening again. There is a reason why there is a dating protocol that involves meeting in a public place...

We didn't' grow up having to fear for our physical safety and so we don't think about it... but we need to. We didn't grow up living in a highly controlled environment where we had parents and siblings and friends watching out for us and reminding us that some folks aren't safe and some behaviors aren't a good idea. Having grown up as the ones in the predatory role we don't think about our safety - because we never had to - but now we have to. We are not the predators any more. We have to develop those instincts on our own.

You should go out - you SHOULD date - you should live a full happy life - but please be safe about it! I don't want to hear any of our names in November.

[prene]

It is nice to be "like a lady the whole time and made me feel special."

Just be careful, and be careful.

[JennyA]

I do count myself lucky. I did have a deal with my roommate. He watched out the window and got the car and license number. If I never texted him he was going to call the police for me. We had 3 set times when he was supposed to hear from me. After 10 minutes I was to txt him if all was good. Then text again during the middle of hanging out, and then text him when I was being drove home.

I was nervous, I know what kind of horrible people are out there. I was so shocked when he turned out to be awesome in every way possible.

But that's kinda what I was doing with craigslists. i waded through all those horrible and perverted emails and filtered them out and finally found the one that might work. Then he came by and turned out it did work. I just hope he emails me.

My phone is off at the moment, I know he has my email. When I got home I wrote him a quick thank you for the good time. Is the ball in his court now? Should I do anything at all(like email him) or just sit back and wait. It's so exciting to be on the flip side of this game.

[Andrea85]

Don't listen to the nay Sayers that really have no clue what they're talking about. It's perfectly normal and ok to date pre-op. I've actually met several good guys from craigslist. Just gotta be picky. Me, I require them to put their full name, and age in the title of their first email and include a picture that has a recent time stamp. That way,if they try anything stupid, there's a way to turn them in and make them pay.

My first meet though is usually at the local walmart around 5 or 6 so there are plenty of people around. That weeds out some there that the email stipulation didn't.

But good luck with the guy. I've actually met one a month or so ago that I've been talking to since. We've met, been on dates, the whole shebang. I already have him wrapped around my finger too, lol. Kinda goes against the resident trolls "advice" now doesn't it? Lol.

[Jorja]

For some, it is hard to believe but there are good guys out there that do want to meet you. As I have mentioned, I have been doing this for many years and have only ever had minor problems with any of the guys I have met. In today's world there are some really bad people. If you feel the least bit uncomfortable with them call off the date. Please do be safe about dating.

[Jay Cee]

Just repeating others words of wisdom - be safe. Getting into a relatively unknown person's car (or going to their place) doesn't fit into that category. Even with having your roommate looking out for you, it's not enough. Did your roommate meet this guy? Don't police generally wait at least 24 hours to respond to a missing person complaint? You were thinking of it in terms of "Well, at least he'll get caught if I am hurt or killed" instead of "I want to be alive and safe for many years to come". Some psychos don't care - they'd probably consider being hunted part of the thrill. Don't be reactive, be proactive. I'm just glad there was no problem.

<concerned rant concluded>

And yes, everyone deserves happiness, especially when it comes to their love life. Just keep in mind that being pre-op alters the playing field a bit, is all.



My first meet though is usually at the local walmart around 5 or 6 so there are plenty of people around. That weeds out some there that the email stipulation didn't.

You sure know how to show a fella a good time, Andrea. ;)