Christy_M
07-02-2011, 08:50 AM
My house just closed escrow yesterday. I move in over the next couple weeks. Onmy real birthday, I will be living full time in my new house and my neighbors will only know Christy. I am so nervous and scared. People are so unpredictable. I have always dreaded what people will think of me and while I am at a point where I have to be me, I certainly don't want to be the butt of jokes and/or the victim of ignorant bigotry. I am who I am and I have come to accept this but it still doesn't make it easier to think of the pain and drama that will come my way.
I used to be so scared to be on my own. While I am nervous about the drama without anyone there with me, I am OK with me so I know being on my own isn't going to be too bad. Of course I say that not having the experience of waking up for more than a few days without someone next to me. Maybe this will wear on me as time goes by but right now, I am at peace knowing that there won't be a significant other in my life in the foreseeable future. There may be "someone for everyone" and I have certainly had three someones that I married and subsequently divorced but maybe I am just not in a position to have another somone.
I also bought my "girl" car yesterday...a 1995 el dorado. Comfortable and reliable and fits into my garage. I have decided to keep my truck, too but will use my girl car to shuttle my younger kids back and forth to their mom's and going out on Friday's. My truck will be my going to work vehicle.
I used to be so scared to be on my own. While I am nervous about the drama without anyone there with me, I am OK with me so I know being on my own isn't going to be too bad. Of course I say that not having the experience of waking up for more than a few days without someone next to me. Maybe this will wear on me as time goes by but right now, I am at peace knowing that there won't be a significant other in my life in the foreseeable future. There may be "someone for everyone" and I have certainly had three someones that I married and subsequently divorced but maybe I am just not in a position to have another somone.
I also bought my "girl" car yesterday...a 1995 el dorado. Comfortable and reliable and fits into my garage. I have decided to keep my truck, too but will use my girl car to shuttle my younger kids back and forth to their mom's and going out on Friday's. My truck will be my going to work vehicle.