Are you Gay?

[Nigella]

No, this is not a re-hash of a perennial question. It is an attempt to understand the perennial question (lol) that is asked of the TG community when we come out to everyone, not just SOs, but family, friends and colleagues.

Invariably we are asked “Are you gay?”, if not the first question, certainly within the first 5.

This is stereotypical of the public perception of the TG community, where this idea comes from originally is a matter of debate, however, as a community it is one that we perpetuate. Here is the latest example of our community saying, “yes some of us are gay” http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?155855-Crossdressers-that-are-into-Men.

You may ask how this perpetuates a common question, well it is posted on a forum for crossdressers, it is posted in a section of the forum that is visible to the whole web, it is our own words. So what does the public see, a bunch of “men” saying I like to wear women’s clothes, I am Gay/Bi/hetro (unless I am wearing women’s clothing).

This is not a critique of those who have answered the above thread, it is an attempt to understand just one of the reasons that the general public ask “are you gay?”

[Badtranny]

I'll tell ya what I find interesting;

The straight CD'rs who comment on how they would like to date some of the prettier CD's.

Few things are more fascinating than denial and situational justification.

I just love to hear people's stories.

[Sedona]

:-/ I dunno, I guess Joe/Jane Q. Public clicking around this site would find plenty of other threads featuring those of us who are straight, and prefer women 100 of the time, dressed or in drab.

If someone ever asked me if I were gay, I wouldn't be offended at all, as being gay isn't an offense to me. I'm just not, and if they have a problem with that, they have a problem with themselves.

[VioletJourney]

If someone ever asked me if I were gay, I wouldn't be offended at all, as being gay isn't an offense to me. I'm just not, and if they have a problem with that, they have a problem with themselves.
This.

I think it's really funny how people like to associate totally unrelated things with homosexuality (the "gay ear", etc) - I thought the only thing that made someone homosexual was a sexual attraction to their gender?

[Barbara Dugan]

Only one person has asked me that question before... my doctor and my answer was yes I am...now when people assume that I am gay but don't ask about I like to leave it that way

[LilSissyStevie]

After a lifetime of not being able to pin down my sexuality, I would have to say that essentially yes, I am gay. But in real life I'm not attracted to males. I'm attracted to what is referred to in the queer community as girlfags (http://girlfags.livejournal.com/). I don't think there's a name for a guy who's gay for girlfags. Lucky for me they are not as rare as you would think. This doesn't have much, if anything, to do with crossdressing, BTW. My sexuallity doesn't depend on what I'm wearing.

[sissystephanie]

In the almost 70 years that I have been a CD, no one has ever asked me that question!! At least not in those words! Yes, I do wear feminine clothing, as often as I can. But I am very much a MAN, and am no at all "Gay" or homosexual!! I will add that I was married for almost 50 years to a very supportive and devoted lady who has now passed on. Other than family members, there is one other lady whom I do love, but she is already married!! So I can't have her!! Oh well, that is life!!

[Karren H]

I think that me being straight make me less of a pervert. :D

Being a parent of a gay child changes your perspective on orientation! It sure did me.

[jazz]

I'm Bi, where does that figure in this equation?

[prene]

I'm Bi, i always love women. Even if I was one. lol

[danielle40I]

Interesting question Nigella.

Yes I've been asked if I was gay. Yet I first had to determine the individual asking the question...were they asking because they really wanted to know, or were they looking to promote a commentary on their own morality issues. For the later, it's a no-win situation. they have their own preconceived notions and merely want to procelitize. The former, however, are coming from a position of wanting to know who I am to then make a more informed decission on their own as to whether or not I was a positive factor in their lives, or not.

For the former, I make it clear that there is a definitive difference between GENDER orientation and SEXUAL orientation. The two are mutually exclusive. I for one am not gay. And make it clear to those that ask (yes I've been approached dressed as a very "male" male) in the most gracious way possible that I'm not.

I believe that when en femme, I have a responsibility as an ambassador(ess) of the TG community to educate rather than be combative. Society has been bombarded with enough stereotypical cowsqueeze regarding sexual orientation. If I am presented with the opportunity to bring greater understanding to society at large then I'll do so.

Some will merely hear, while others will truly listen. It now becomes anothers' resposibility to accept or condemn the message.

[Engendered]

In the almost 70 years that I have been a CD, no one has ever asked me that question!!

I find this very surprising, as it's probably the most common question I get in relation to my CDing from the people I've met. I am very open with my CDing though (but as are you!), and encourage questions, so I guess it's not too surprising that it comes up. Also, if it's a girl that has caught my eye, or someone I'm interested in getting to know a lot better, I do try to volunteer the information if I can, as soon as possible. Step 1 in avoiding instant friendzoning. ;)

[Princess Chantal]

I wonder how many crossdressers answered the question posed by the SO or person asking with
"only when I'm dressed enfemme"
or
"no, but I do have a curiousity of being treated like a woman"
or
"actually I tend to have bisexual thoughts, but I do prefer women"
or
"I see myself as a woman, so I'm your lesbian lover"
or
"does being attracted to another crossdresser count?"

[SweetIonis]

There seem to be quite a few threads centered on this "straight/gay" notion.

What's up with that?

[Jason+]

The last time I was asked if I was gay I did have a skirt on. My reply was they are totally separate issues. While I have to confess to curiosity, my wife gave the best answer. "You obviously like women, the furthest you could be is bi."


I'll tell ya what I find interesting;

The straight CD'rs who comment on how they would like to date some of the prettier CD's.

Few things are more fascinating than denial and situational justification.

I just love to hear people's stories.



BTW. My sexuallity doesn't depend on what I'm wearing.

If I am deep down honest with myself then the answer to whether or not I would like any sort of sexual activity with another man doesn't really have much to do with what either of us is wearing. At the end of the evening it doesn't matter how prettily you wrap a package it's still the same inside.

In order for the general public to figure out that cross dressing and homosexuality are neither hand-in-hand linked nor mutually exclusive we have to figure it out too and be very careful about using one as a catalyst for the other.

[BLUE ORCHID]

I'm not Gay and have no thoughts about changing but I do have some Gay friends.

Orchid

[NicoleScott]

Really? Are we allowed to answer this question "no, I'm not gay" without being accused of homophobia?

[Annie D]

If you present yourself as a woman then I think that most normal thinking people would assume that your sexual preference is the same as a woman; men. Therefore if you are a male and dress like a woman then it follows that you prefer men as well. I think that this is the logical order of thinking of your average public. This is the mental anguish that I faced growing up as a young crossdresser in my own mind when I kept wondering if I was gay but OMG I liked women and they turned me on sexually like I was turned on when I dressed in women's clothing.

The more we all become public, only then will the general public not make assumptions about our sexual preference. Thank goodness that most people really don't care, only the ones who we are closest to; wives, girlfriends, sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, grandparents, people we work with, neighbors. Oh I just about named everyone who we interact with, talk to, share a meal, a story. Wow, I guess that just about covers everyone.

Tell me, are you gay?

[L'eggs n' heels]

I'm not Gay and have no thoughts about changing but I do have some Gay friends.

Orchid

I have gay friends too, and they never wear dresses.

[PretzelGirl]

Only one person has asked me that question before... my doctor and my answer was yes I am...now when people assume that I am gay but don't ask about I like to leave it that way

I have the same experience. For all of the people I have come out to, I have only been asked if I am gay or planning to transition by my doctor. He then proceeded to run a complete hormone screening on me. It was an interesting discussion to say the least (for the record, I have a great doctor).

[Tina Leigh]

Yes been asked by wife, repeatedly when I step out of closet and get caught. but Gay does not fit the range of expression possible I like feminine creatures and maybe some day I'll know how appearances the "equipment package" relate to those thoughts of interest. realisticaly bi lesbian is as far as I would be labled. But again I would rather be on an island with someone who is sincere in whatever they desire than someone who is the straight guy getting whatever from whomever when he can and denies it make him anything but normal. Tina

[ReineD]

The general public needs to understand there is the same mix of sexual preferences among crossdressers as there is in the general population. It's unreasonable to expect all CDs to be straight. There are thousands of active members, yet in comparison, only a small percentage of people who posted in that thread and said they are into men. And even among those, it was to go out on a date with a man in order to experience an evening as a woman, and not to have sex.

So, I think we're good . :)

[Eryn]

The general public has very simplistic concept of sexuality and gender. From their perspective the norm is manly men and feminine women. Anyone who does not fit this norm is put into their "gay" pidgeonhole.

Feeding this is the stereotype of the gay male who exhibits exaggerated feminine mannerisms. The connection made by Joe Public is that if a person is male and shows feminine traits then that person must be gay.

[LilSissyStevie]

The general public needs to understand there is the same mix of sexual preferences among crossdressers as there is in the general population.

That was my original prejudice but my observation is that while the majority is hetero, the percentage that would identify as bi is much higher than the general population, also the % that would identify as asexual is probably higher, too. The % that identifies as exclusively gay is probably lower. It's hard to say, though, because most forums like this tend to discourage sex talk and many people don't participate in these discussions because they don't want to be put into a box.

[Frédérique]

Are you Gay? No, this is not a re-hash of a perennial question. It is an attempt to understand the perennial question (lol) that is asked of the TG community when we come out to everyone, not just SOs, but family, friends and colleagues.
You may ask how this perpetuates a common question, well it is posted on a forum for crossdressers, it is posted in a section of the forum that is visible to the whole web, it is our own words. So what does the public see, a bunch of “men” saying I like to wear women’s clothes, I am Gay/Bi/hetro (unless I am wearing women’s clothing).
This is not a critique of those who have answered the above thread, it is an attempt to understand just one of the reasons that the general public ask “are you gay?”

Where, might I ask, are you "coming from"? Are you for us or against us? :idontknow:

The public asks “Are you GAY?” because we MtF crossdressers are tossed into the “deviant” pile, along with every other practitioner of "perversion," purely out of laziness. When you look up transvestite in the dictionary, you'll find that sexual deviancy, as outlined by society, is part of the definition. So, to the world at large, we are all deviants, perverts and GAY (or queer) by association. Add to this the fact that even here, where support for all facets of an alternative “community” is inferred, some individuals seek to disassociate themselves from certain corners of the membership, looking down upon males who wear female clothing purely for pleasure. I get the feeling we aren’t supposed to exist, and it hurts…
:sad:

What the public “sees” is what the media allows them to see, and the “face” of MtF crossdressing is DRAG, done mainly by gay males for the benefit of other gay males, or done purely for laughs (and entertainment). The public only sees this side of the coin, looking no further, but the obverse, namely the tactile, hetero MtF crossdresser, is dismissed by other transvestites, other crossdressers, and even so-called “supporters” of the community. I gave up a long time ago, right after the 15th discussion on this topic went nowhere. You win. I’m GAY. I submit to your reality. No where’s that support I was promised? Can we get on with the tolerance, please?
:hmph:

[darla_g]

interesting thread. i never heard that term girlfags before. it was a good day .... I learned something today

[SweetIonis]

Really? Are we allowed to answer this question "no, I'm not gay" without being accused of homophobia?

I honestly think the number of threads centered on this notion points to a strong current of underlying explicit and implicit homophobia.

[Rianna Humble]

If you present yourself as a woman then I think that most normal thinking people would assume that your sexual preference is the same as a woman;

Mine is the same as the other women I was out with a few nights ago, but it sure ain't men.

[Vickie_CDTV]

Because even in this day and age, most of the public believes in the simplistic notion that 1) men who wear dresses are weak 2) gay men are weak, and therefore men who wear dresses are gay. It is ridiculous but it is the way it is; how many folks in society know a TV (or TS) person, or ever done any serious research on the subject?

[Leanne2]

I have always considered myself to be straight. After all, I have been married to a woman for 36 years and have four adult children. But two years ago with much research and three months of gender councilling I realized that I am a transgender woman. I also learned that sexual preference is a separate condition. I would like to transition so that would make me a female that loves another female. So yes, I guess that makes me gay. Leanne

[valerie_vanesse]

I have slowly realized that I am bi-sexual, and have been my entire life. My first M/M encounter did not occur until I was in my mid fortys. I take some umbrage with Karens alluding to the fact that because she is not gay, she is less perverted. How I hate that word unless it is used to describe child molesters. I am an adult genetic male who is a crossdresser and I enjoy consensual sex with both men AND women, and that is not perverted, just my preference.

[Nigella]

Do you know, this thread is not about who is gay, bi, straight or any other connotation of sexuality, I don't give two hoots where you fit in this, it is no concern of mine and should not be the concern of anyone except the individual.

This thread is about public perception, it is about us as a community who perpetuates a sterotypical view of the TG community.

How many members just browse the M2F forum without logging on? What threads get the most reads? Joe/Jane public does not care about how you spent the day in your house doing the housework, it is not titivating (sp) enough for them. They don't care about the everyday activities that we do either dressed or not dressed, they do them just the same. Joe/Jane public reads what they think will give them a view that ordinary people don't do.

I agree that within our own community, there will be a percentage of members who are not neurotypical, just as there is in the community at large, what makes us an enigma to Joe or Jane is that not only are we not neurotypical in that we like to dress in female clothing, but we are also not neurotypical in our sexuality.

There have been many threads asking if you are gay, please don't respond to that as a question, please respond to the point on how as a community, we perpetuate a typical myth.

[Karinsamatha]

Put me in the Bi category. I have made the admission to my self that I find both men, and women attractive - Only took forty years to do it.
The unfortunate thing with the population and the general view and understanding of us, is that it comes from the most over the top segment - the drag queen. Most of us are so far into our closets that we never see the light of day or night.
The drag queen seems to be portrayed by a gay man, so that would set the tone for the general perception of the rest of us. This is the point where the confusion comes from. If he dresses as a women he must be into men. The general population does not know about all the diversity that we embody. Just as most men and women have different likes and dislikes regarding the people they date so do we.
But they will never know about that because most of us are into "passing" and not in anybodies face. So we can't blame any one for the sterio type that has been going around But ourselves. For not saying that the drag queen is not a true representation of the whole spectrum of the Trans Gender buffet.

[Raychel]

I don't know why the world thinks that the clothing a person like to wear automatically changes their sexual preference. :daydreaming:

From what I have seen, the clothing really had no indication at all. I know gay men that appear to be very hapy dressed as men. Happy together and very open about the fact taht they are gay. So I can't see that they would be hiding if they also like to dress in womens clothes.

And I know of plenty of purely hetro men that like to dress in womens clothes.

So im my opinion it really doesn't relate.
No I am not gay, So what,
If I was, again, So what,

:2c:

[cindyxxx]

What a complex topic this has proven to be!!!!!!!!!!!!
So to add my little bit.
When in male garb. 100% hetero........when seeing others dressed 100% hetero.
When dressed in my finest and feeling fem..........100% I fancy men in fantasy, or rather I like the idea they fancy me, but never in reality.
I split my gender in my mind but could not actually carry it out, but the idea, well that is another thing!
Guess I am just mixed up but after all the years I've dressed I can put up with my own confusion!

[JulieK1980]

I don't think the average person has the critical thinking skills to understand the difference between homosexuality and transgenderism. It would require a desire to know about a topic that they don't desire to, or have a reason to contemplate. For us who live with it, we develop a unique perspective that allows us to see the difference. But, a person that is not gay, or is not transgendered doesn't have a lot of incentive to take the time to learn about either. Even some of us here have trouble understanding the differences. Unfortunately the general public could care less if we are actually gay or straight. Society has placed that label on us regardless.

When asked, I usually ask them if they think it's polite to ask someone who they sleep with. I don't feel it is.

[AllieSF]

Actually, as a group of adults why should we care about what others think? It is threads like this one that make the statements of strangers more important than they should be, or maybe this thread is meant to question how important those statements should be. In my 4+ yrs. here I would say that the forum members cover the whole spectrum of our societies, including all the wonderful people just trying to live their lives and enjoy it, those that are bigots, narrow minded and opinionated, pro and anti gun, hunters and tree huggers, gay and not, ad infinitum. I think that we continually have threads like this because a lot of members do not want to be asked if they are gay. I am not saying that you, Nigella feel that way. I understand that not all people are ready to be asked that question, meaning that they will not let it bother them. I look at this site as the perfect place for all of us to learn more about each other, be more tolerant of everyone, no matter their persuasion, ethnicity, and nationality. It sometimes saddens me to see the lack of acceptance here in some of our more contentious threads.

I have no problem that visitors and lurkers here see threads like this and the others. This is who we are. Why should we cater to what they think. If we are concerned about that, then the owner's (assuming that they may also be concerned about that perception) should just make the site a members only site with no visitor privileges. However, that approach may not fit their business model and the core purpose of the site. Also, how would new members be able to see if this site may work for them without some free viewing? What I would not want to see here, is a continuing tighter censoring of threads and topics. We are a very diverse group of people here and we need to be able to let everyone have there opportunity to start a topic of interest to them, including panty threads and all the rest.

[SweetIonis]

While it's natural to want to avoid a inaccurate image that may be imposed by others, one cannot help but wonder about the motivation behind the constant questioning, declarations, and denunciations centered on this particular aspect. In another thread someone purposed a definition of homophobia which included an irrational fear of homosexuality. Dwelling on the subject excessively could be an indication some underlying irrational fear.

As far as I can tell, at the end of the day, what is gay and what is not tends to be in the eye of the beholder. For a given situation, one who wants to find homosexuality, will find it, and one who doesn't want to find it will not. As Julius Caesar said, men freely believe that which they desire.

[Kate Lynn]

No I'm not,are you?...................................

[ReineD]

That was my original prejudice but my observation is that while the majority is hetero, the percentage that would identify as bi is much higher than the general population, also the % that would identify as asexual is probably higher, too. The % that identifies as exclusively gay is probably lower. It's hard to say, though, because most forums like this tend to discourage sex talk and many people don't participate in these discussions because they don't want to be put into a box.

Also, people who are bi or gay are more likely to respond to questions like, "Who's bi or gay, or who likes men?", whereas most people who aren't and don't might just skip over it because it doesn't fit? :)

[Princess Chantal]

And the beat goes on.
People, the original post author - Nigella does not give two hoots about your sexuality cause this thread is not about who is gay, bi, straight or any other connotation of sexuality

She noted that this thread is about public perception, it is about us as a community who perpetuates a sterotypical view of the TG community.

There's more to threads than what is stated in the subject line

[Cait]

And the beat goes on.
People, the original post author - Nigella does not give two hoots about your sexuality cause this thread is not about who is gay, bi, straight or any other connotation of sexuality

She noted that this thread is about public perception, it is about us as a community who perpetuates a sterotypical view of the TG community.

There's more to threads than what is stated in the subject line

But surely you can understand that some people may have seen the title, clicked the thread and answered the question the title poses. Its hardly unreasonable to expect such replies to such a question. I'd imagine that not everybody reads the opening post before posting, especially when the title of this thread appears to be asking a straightforward question.

As for my view on the subject, I agree with what SweetIonis says really. The constant fear of being percieved as gay that some members of this forum have borders (and often crosses into) homophobia. I understand that people may not wish to be identified as something they do not see themselves as but the constant denunciations and declerations from certain posters seem completely unnecessary and potentially offensive to members who do identify themselves as gay. Everyone just needs to chill and be far more relaxed about the subject imho.

[Janice Lester]

If John and Jane Q. Public wander around the board they are going to find a majority of people who are not gay or bi. So I don't see how you could hypothesize that we are the ones queering societies view of what a crossdresser is.

For me I think Reine is right, I know I always read the "gay, bi, into men" threads because I am.

[Adrienne Heels]

I have to admit that I am attracted to other CDs and to men......as i am sure are a LOT of other people in the world.

[Rianna Humble]

No, this is not a re-hash of a perennial question. It is an attempt to understand the perennial question (lol) that is asked of the TG community when we come out to everyone, not just SOs, but family, friends and colleagues.

Invariably we are asked “Are you gay?”, if not the first question, certainly within the first 5.

This is stereotypical of the public perception of the TG community, where this idea comes from originally is a matter of debate, however, as a community it is one that we perpetuate.

This is an interesting question. I was talking to a cis friend on the weekend who knows a few trans folk, but she could not understand how sexual orientation and gender could be different. In her way of thinking, if you want the MtF operation, you must want to have sex with men. She even had a problem with my suggestion that I might be a lesbian because to her if I want women, why don't I want to keep my twiddly bits? This is not an ignorant person, but she could not get her head round the concept that my sexuality and my gender are separate.

[ReineD]

This is not an ignorant person, but she could not get her head round the concept that my sexuality and my gender are separate.

I saw an ABC special that featured Chloe Prince's transition and how it affected her and her family. Chloe's wife had the same reaction. At one point Chloe went back to her doc to have scar tissue removed from her vagina, and her wife could not understand why she would do this if she didn't fundamentally want to have sex with men.

EDIT - Correction: I went to Chloe's blog and see that she is no longer with her wife. Her new partner is Lana Moore, who transitioned in 2008.

[Maria Blackwood]

The straight CD'rs who comment on how they would like to date some of the prettier CD's.

Few things are more fascinating than denial and situational justification.

OK, but is it denial, really? I've done my experimentation in the past. For a while in my 30s I subbed for a dominatrix in Los Angeles. After a while she asked if I'd like to top a couple of her other subs who saw me at one of the parties, and to my own surprise I found that, yeah, I'd like to try that. I enjoyed it a few times, but ultimately found I am attracted mainly to women. I'm not emotionally attracted to men, nor would I want a relationship with another man, but can get intimate should the opportunity present itself because I like variety and believe one point of life is to experience things.

The problem with the question is the same one as trying to pin down what a crossdresser is- there is an entire spectrum of sexuality. Some folks come to it with a handful of labels, stick pins in the map, and declare the pins are all that there is. If you want to refer to me as just "gay", well, as I said in the other thread, I really don't care because I'm not the one hung up on labels.

[Samantha43]

I'm straight and married.

[Maria Blackwood]

interesting thread. i never heard that term girlfags before. it was a good day .... I learned something today

I still recall when I ordered my first "boyshorts" in order to explore dressing as a female. :)

[eluuzion]

I have often wondered how that assumption seems to just automatically engage for no apparent reason. For example...

One night we had a big storm with damaging winds. The next morning when I gayzed out the gayble window I discovered the wind gayles had bashed in my front gaytes, my gayzebo had a big gayping hole in it, and my dog Gaylord was grazing around the yard eating the gayzillion grapes off the ground from my ruined grape vines. Great, what a mess! So I put on my LBD, my gayloshes and gayberdine sweater and headed outside to repair the gayte bashing.

My next door neighbor Gayle stopped by to see if I was OK, and to ask me to come over and watch Gay’s Anatomy with her and her new friend Gay at her house that night. I told her that during the storm I had to hide in my closet but I survived and how good I felt to finally come out of that closet. Then I said “Sure, I love Gay’s Anatomy, so I’m gayme for that!

She just smiled and said “My friend Gay and I both thought you might be gay, since you always dress like a girl and walk with the gayt of a girl. I am glad you finally decided to come out”. She had obviously misunderstood what I said.:eek:

I was speechless, and disappointed, but not surprised. She was just like everybody else. Just because I was a CD, everything I said seemed to sound like it had the word “gay” in it when she heard it. So she automatically assumed I was talking about being gay when I told her about coming out of my closet. Go figure...:sad:

So yes, I did accept the invitation and I was anxious to meet Gayle’s new friend. Guess what I said that night the minute I walked into her house and saw Gayle’s new friend...?

You guessed it...I gayzed right into her friends eyes and said...

“Hello, I just knew the minute I saw you that you must be Gay. Are you Gay?”:D

Just another day in paradox...

...and they all lived happily ever after...:hugs:

~The End~

:love:

[SusanQ]

I consider myself a male lesbian. I have no attraction whatsoever to other males, not only do their penises appear strange looking to me, and certainly not something I have any curiousity about, but I don't particularly care for how mine looks either. Fortunately, mine is very small...I easily have a flat front just by wearing control panties or other control garments. When I need to answer nature's call, I sit, so I don't really even see the thing then.

[Engendered]

I think what this topic teaches us most of all is what proportion of people just read the title of a topic and nothing else. (Probably more so when it's phrased as a question) :)

To answer the original posting, I don't think topics like the one you linked serve to perpetuate the myth to any great extent. Anyone who spends any small amount of time here at all, will get a good impression of what proportion of the site are hetro/bi/homo. I think most of the general public's views are far more heavily influenced by what they see on TV and in Movies. Anyone coming here to get more information, surely would stay around long enough to pick up on the truth of things.

Having said all that, maybe there will be some people who will (as I said at the start) just read the title of the topics and then disappear to form their own opinions. :)

[faltenrock]

yes, that is a common question for the majority of society. I've never been asked that question, I'm straight. Whenever I go out en femme, like dancing clubbing...at least one guy picks on me, wants to dance or wants to pick me up. That makes me very uncormfortable and I usually treat them like any woman would do, with respect, but no thanks. I like to be around women mostly, when Cd and when I'm out as a guy.

[TGMarla]

Fair enough, Nigella.

No, I'm not gay. I'm strictly heterosexual, married 17 years.

[kimdl93]

Its clear that many of those that make up the public erroneously assume that gay and CD are related. So, in that context, it seems a reasonable question, since it reflects a mistaken belief about CDers. We shouldn't be surprised - the public is ill-informed about so many things.

[GingerLeigh]

There's a comedian. What was his name, oh yeah Russell Peters. He has a sketch about how people's perception was skewed by the media. Look up "arab rednecks" and you get the idea. Please don't call me to the mat on this. It's just a comedy sketch, not some rant on ethnicity or bigotry. Anyway, perhaps the public perceives us all to be homosexual because the only media attention we get is with "Donahue" and drag queens. Is it the gay communities fault? No, they do what they do and the media likes sensation. What's more sensational than a fabulous drag queen? Me? I'm not about to go running into the street in my girl clothing to knock down those misconceptions. My crossdressing, as I'm certain it is for most of us is a very private affair. I'm not about to lead a charge to change people's views. There will be no-one behind me to back me up. I know it's not the real question in the thread, but as to anyone's sexuality who cares? Being gay is so mainstream anymore we'll actually be thought of as trendy! My wife knows I'm not, (gay or trendy) and she is all that counts.

[flatlander_48]

To be specific, I am bisexual and not gay. Yes, there is a difference and I think everyone here SHOULD understand that...

[Nicolette01]

I consider myself heterosexual and Have never been attracted to a man yet become aroused by the sight of what I consider to be a very attractive and feminine cd'er. Does that make me gay or bisexual?