How thick is your skin?

[Nigella]

I have started a number of threads relating to the public perception of the TG community. How we as a community perpetuate common misconception of what being a TG person is. How we hide ourselves away because of the fear we have of being cast out, ostracised, losing jobs and family.

As an individual I have no concerns about how Joe and Jane feel about me as a person. 99.99% of those people I meet have no bearing on my life and how I live it. Because of this attitude I go about my life on a daily basis, doing everyday things that any person would do. Those who wish to stare or comment get no reaction from me, if it makes their life any better to deride me, great let them enjoy themselves.

I do have a concern however on the public perception of the TG community and use every opportunity to answer questions on how it is for me to be TG.

So is your skin thick or thin? Mine is thick, I will defend my right to be TG by ignoring the rude comments and gestures made by the ignorant, respond to the curious by being honest, but most of all I lead my life as ME.

[Sara Jessica]

I guess my skin is thick enough but I don't think of it that way. Instead, I focus on the positive interactions while utterly ignoring the haters, as few and far between as those have been.

[Lorileah]

fairly thick. I have been called almost every disparaging remark in the US and some in foreign languages. It doesn't matter for me but like Nigella it bothers me more when a broad blast attacks a general population. For some reason I become a defender then. If possible I try and ask the person exactly why they think the way they do. The answer is usually something inane like "because"

[Vickie_CDTV]

I think there is an important distinction in being thin skinned, and protecting oneself. Some folks might be more sensitive than others (I certainly tend to be), but for some there is real risk beyond their control in being out (especially if they have families to think about.) For some being 100% out and proud it is an option, and some it is really is not.

[Nigella]

Vickie, this is not about being out and about or hiding away, that is a whole different topic. This thread is about how you deal with Joe and Jane public in your everyday life as a TG person.

[sissystephanie]

I am probably about as thick skinned as it is possible to be!! In my long life I have lived through a lot of things other people, probably including a lot of the forum members, would have nightmares about. So I have become thick skinned through experience. I am ME, and I dress the way I want when I want to. Those who don't agree with my standards can look elsewhere!!

[Kaz]

Nigella, we know your skin is thick from all the beatings you endured to enjoy doling it out! :) Best of intentions!

My skin is thin... I am learning...

[Cynthia Anne]

I take a lot of heat due to my attitude Even WHEN I'M TRYING TO JOKE! So I compare my skin to the raw hide of a donkeys rear! Which is not only thick but tough to chew! My signature says the rest!

[Alice Torn]

I don't go out very often, so, I have not had many negative comments thrown at me or about me. I am on Hotornot.com, and lately, men have blasted me often , with derisive comments. This has not happened very often, until lately. I admit, that i am too thinned skinned, learned to be hypervigilent, in the toxic family i am from, and still am forced to deal with every day. I would like to be thicker skinned, and am awfully slowwly becoming that.

[Babette]

I would like to say my skin is thick and I can take whatever is sent my way. However, any perception I may give is merely a facade. Deep down, I really hurt when people are mean spirited.

Babette

[Eryn]

I'm there with Babette. I can simulate a thick-skin, but I do feel pain inside.

[PretzelGirl]

That feelings that Eryn and Babette feel are pretty common. I put up a good front and I have done quite well when going out. I have gotten many surprised looks or stares that I countered with a smile. But I haven't heard the words yet and I wonder how I will do......

[Kittykitty]

Deep down, I really hurt when people are mean spirited.
Babette

Sweetest little mouse on the planet :)

I feel the same way. Even more so when other people are hurt or humiliated.

[Inna]

Hm, thick or thin, hard answer due to the fact that I do not entirely see it from the defensive position. I am a transwoman in transition, however I do not wear full on "here I am", woman's attire but rather go for gap jeans, tshirts and such. All from the woman's rack but intersex enough to go both ways, also my appearance starts to resemble feminine details but here again most people can not compartmentalize me at first glance and go into this double/triple stair. All I can do is smile back and the astonishing fact is that they can not help, but smile back :)

But overall my fears and shortfalls of shyness and feelings of inadequacies put me in the thin skin category.

[Diane Elizabeth]

I am thin skinned and take everything personal. That is why I am almost 60 yr old and trying to come out and go full time. There is so much more I could say but then that would be more about what it is like to be hurt. And that is for most anything in life for me. Not just TG issues.

[donnatracey]

Like Starla, I too am thin skinned and take things too personally. This goes beyond TG issues with the public; just don't deal well w/ridicule or criticism. It def has kept me from going out in public totally en femme to this point. Not sure that will ever change.....:sad:

[Kathi Lake]

When it comes to Joe and Jane Q. Public, my skin is rhino-thick. Like Sara and others, if there are any negative issues, I either ignore them or let them slide on by.

However, that's only with strangers. With those I know, it is a different story entirely. We all want to be liked, by those we like.

Kathi

[Intertwined]

My skin is N.B.C. rated (Nuclear Biological Chemical). I grew this skin in my early teens, had to, if I hadn't, I probably would have killed myself.

Honestly, there is Nothing! anyone could say that could phase me, why, I have lived by this phrase since my early teens " It doesn't matter what others think about me.... It's what I think about myself that counts "

I do have an Achilles Heel, say something derogatory about my Wife or Daughter, your liable to get hurt.

[docrobbysherry]

I'd be lying if I said my CD skin was thick. Plus, my children certainly do NOT have thick skin. Nor do I desire that they grow it on MY account!

But, if you're discussing the TG/TS community, for me it has nothing to do with SKIN! Rather ANGER! My and others anger that some lovely, kind, and innocent people r having their lives DESTROYED simple because of their gender!

My silly dressing difficulties pale compared to their sufferings!

[donnalee]

Although I maintain a thick skinned appearance, I'm pretty thin skinned, with a vehement temper which I've learned to control by not reacting immediately to hostility. However, if you wish to engage in a verbal cutting contest, you're in for a beating. If you prefer the other kind, well, I'm prepared for that too. It is better, however, to make a fool think it would be a losing proposition, rather than having to prove it to him.

[erickka]

I can pretty much say that I am on the same page as Nigella. Also, I absolutely hate groups of peoplg breeding intolerance against another group of people who, in their narrow little minds, "ain't right" and whenever possible I stand up for all of those underdogs. I am me, and if someone does not like who I am, I don't give a flip!

[Danni Renee]

I am absolutely thin skinned. I do a good job of hiding it from most people but then I sit and stew over it for days, weeks, or years in some cases. That thin skin holds me back in so many ways....

[Tina B.]

I feel the same way Doc does!
Tina B.

[BRANDYJ]

To be honest, I am thin skinned. I do care what others think of me, what they might say if I put myself in front of them. I also care about offending my family or unknowing froends that might be judged by merely being a friend of mine if my secret was ever to come out. I am careful of who knpows about my crossdressing and have shared that part of me with several trusted friends with no ill effects on those friendships. But to not care what others think is just not me.

[Fab Karen]

As an adult, what few & far between morons have made any comment about me I have ignored.

[Joanne f]

I would say that mine is quite thin i take notice of far to many things , if someone ask`s me something in a polite way i will reply but pushed to it i will soon forget about the thickness of my skin :heehee:

[Daintre]

Well Nigella, I have always felt I was thick skinned and I could deflect the most disparaging words. I found out differently almost by accident.

My psychiatrist asked me to be the patient of a weekly information meeting where different doctors present their patients to the rest of the medical team. No problem, I went, answered so many questions I was well received by the staff and other doctors. There were 34 people present. At my next therapy session, my doctor was all smiles at how the meeting went and that she was so proud of my attitude. She then told me how there was only one person there who was disgusted by what I was doing. Funny thing, my mind forgot the 33 good reports and focused on the one negative one, that set me back for a while.

So I admit, I am thin skinned.

[5150 Girl]

I would like to say my skin is thick and I can take whatever is sent my way. However, any perception I may give is merely a facade. Deep down, I really hurt when people are mean spirited.

Babette

I have to say ditto to this

[WendyH]

I'm definitely thin-skinned. I take criticism poorly and don't do well with confrontations. Having said that, I have begun to care less and less about what others think in the past few years.

[Rianna Humble]

As far as my interactions with General Public go, I am quite like Nigella says. I am out about being TS, I am me and I never hesitate to answer an honest question. I too try to correct misconceptions about our community, so as far as that side of things go, I am probably as thick skinned as it is possible to get and still be fully functional.

However, when it comes to hurtful remarks from within the community, all of a sudden, my skin becomes gossamer thin. With the number of posts I have racked up here, people probably think of me as a mouthy, opinionated woman, but a little look will show times that I have been cut to the quick by a spiteful remark.

[Frédérique]

So is your skin thick or thin? Mine is thick, I will defend my right to be TG by ignoring the rude comments and gestures made by the ignorant, respond to the curious by being honest, but most of all I lead my life as ME.

I hesitate to post in your threads, Nigella, because I’m afraid you’ll edit my replies…:heehee:

Thick skin? It depends. If you’re talking about being affected by taunts of “queer” or “fag” (or worse) out in public, I can confidently say I am unperturbed by such nonsense. I’ve been doing this long enough to be unfazed by the opinions of others, constructing a thick skin in the process, for the purpose of my own safety. At heart, however, I am rather shy, and I bruise easily…
:sad:

When other members (or participants) in the TG community come down on my closeted MtF crossdressing, saying it misrepresents said community and perpetuates misunderstanding, well, THAT hurts, and my “skin” is not sufficiently thick enough to deal with it. I’m sure you’ve heard this, or read this before, but it bears repeating. If you, or any other TG individual, truly believe in the “right to be transgendered,” then you should accept all the variations of alternative human existence that are huddled under this imaginary umbrella of crossdressing. Those who seek out and subsequently magnify distinctions within the community do us all a disservice, and a chance to ultimately be seen as something less than perverse to the outside world is lost…

I’ve certainly learned to cultivate a thick skin on this site, that’s for sure. Please don’t take that the wrong way, though – I submit to your undeniable experience. Could you please pass the sugar?
:)

[divamissz]

Well, let's see. The first time I went out was on Bourbon Street with a girl in a zebra-print spandex mini-dress. I would go out to the French Quarter all the time en femme. I've had people yell things from cars, stare at me openly, had a lit cigarette flicked at me, have had people ask me rude questions, been hassled for being what I am, etc. I've been described as One Big Bitch, by a friend.

I don't have a thick skin, I just don't give a **** what you say about me.

[Jay Cee]

I've only had one incident where a person was rude (loudly announcing to her coworkers that I painted my toe nails). It didn't hurt my feelings. I did let her know that I didn't approve of her behaviour, by no longer being a patient of hers.