OK, can u married CDs EXPLAIN?

[docrobbysherry]

I've read COUNTLESS posts from MARRIED CDs. In which they state they r only attracted to females.:daydreaming: OK, THAT I get!:thumbsup:

But, then they go on to say, they r ONLY ATTRACTED to their SO!
THAT, I DON'T GET!:straightface:

I was married, now divorced. I loved my ex, but NEVER stopped looking at other women. I didn't and wouldn't have, broken my vows with any of them. BUT, I'll readily admit I was ATTRACTED to some of them!:o


So, u see a stunning young woman and u think, "Wow! I MUST get home to my SO"!? REALLY?:eek:

I became LESS attracted to my SO over the years! Not MORE! Was I so UNIQUE? Or, r some of the married CDs here swimming in a river in Egypt?:brolleyes:

[Eryn]

I think that explanation is in the definition of the term "attracted."

I'm happily married and, frankly, my attraction is centered on my wife. Yes, I can look at other women, appreciate their attractiveness, and analyze their clothes and makeup, but my *intimate* attraction is reserved for the woman I married.

Perhaps that is why I am happily married! :)

[Phoebe P.]

I'm attracted to many people, but I'm married and won't step outside of those bounds. It's just not an option.

[Debb]

I think that explanation is in the definition of the term "attracted."

I'm happily married and, frankly, my attraction is centered on my wife. Yes, I can look at other women, appreciate their attractiveness, and analyze their clothes and makeup, but my *intimate* attraction is reserved for the woman I married.

Perhaps that is why I am happily married! :)

I second that. I find women generally attractive; I find my wife especially attractive, and not just for her appearance. She's the whole package.... other attractive women could be the whole package -- for someone else -- I already have my package, not looking for any others.

[retrofitme]

Attraction is much deeper than outward beauty. I can appreciate my wife's beauty, but what really attracts me to her is more than just the outside, I'm attracted to her. :)

[ricci]

I think what people mean is that they are just not looking at cheating as an option in any way, shape or form.
BTW I am no less attracted to my wife now than I was 17 tears ago.

[Tara D. Rose]

Yes my dear friend docrobbysherry, there is no contradiction from the quotes you were using from the cd's from which you were referring. I am attracted to females, I am attracted to my wife. I will look at other women and find them so attractive, for I am attracted to females but am faithful to my wife.


one minute later:

Oh correction to myself. I went up and re-read your post as I was typing my response. I do now see the contradiction that you see. You are right, How can a man or a cd say, I'm attracted to females.(which there's millions of) .........Then on another day say I'm ,,,and here's the magic word.."ONLY" attracted to my wife. The word "only" narrows it down to just one woman in the world. I do get what you're saying my dear friend, Sherry. I hope my little analogy here helped to get your message and point across. ..............love & respect.................Tara

[Sedona]

My guess is those of us writing that they're ONLY attracted to their wives, well, have wives who read these forums. ;)

[GingerLeigh]

I second that. I find women generally attractive; I find my wife especially attractive, and not just for her appearance. She's the whole package.... other attractive women could be the whole package -- for someone else -- I already have my package, not looking for any others.

I third that. I look, even admire, but I never think about touching or even fantasizing about any other woman. A promise is a promise, infidelity/attraction to someone else has never been an option and never will be.

[JulieK1980]

I'm married, I'm extremely attracted to my wife, AND I'm extremely attracted to MANY women and men that I see. My wife is married, she is extremely attracted to me, AND is extremely attracted to men that she sees. For us at least, that is normal. However, on a deeper level, we are attracted to each other in ways that a random person on the street can't even begin to compete with. The emotional connection I think, is what people refer to when they say things like, "I'm only attracted to my wife." I believe it's not meant to be literal, but more a declaration of love and devotion. Unless they are taking some odd hormone concoction that affects the way they are attracted to people, I'd say they still adhere to the laws of nature.

[ChanDelle]

If I weren't attracted to other beautiful women I'd be dead (and non-human). But fidelity is a totally different aspect of a relationship. I think we should have some sort of judgement and self control that sets us above politicians.

ChanDelle

[Cynthia Anne]

Well I'm divorced too! But I know the difference between attracted to and in love with! If I didn't I would fall in love many many times everyday!

[VtVicky]

Well, here is an interesting concept. Let's consider attraction vs fidelity.

It is often said that courage is not the lack of fear, but the control of the fear.

Can we then say that fidelity is not the lack of attraction elsewhere, but the control of it?

How faithful are you, then, if you aren't tempted at all?

There is, of course, some value in not looking at the menu if you are on a strict diet. And it does take a bit of self control to do that for very long.

[Kathi Lake]

The only way I can explain it is that there are different types of attraction. I am attracted to women because I am mostly jealous, I guess. I want to be petite and cute and feminine and pretty. I see an attractive woman and I want to be like her, not bed her.

My wife, however, brings many other feelings to mind. Sure, there is attraction as she is beautiful, but I also feel a deep love, a boundless respect, excitement, comfort, contentment, and a bafflement that this wonderful woman actually sticks with this loser! :)

(and no, she's not a member :))

Kathi

[Intertwined]

Here we go again, I am such an odd ball, I am not attracted to Men or Women, I am very attracted to my wife, which would explain why I lost my virginity to her at age 32. :eek:

[KrystalA]

I'm a people-watcher, and I see lots of attractive women who's beauty I appreciate, but does that mean I'm attracted to them? No, not really. My SO doesn't mind the fact that I look at other women, because she knows I would never be unfaithful to her. In fact, she often points out other women, saying how pretty they are, or how cute their clothes are.

[Gerrijerry]

The reason to marry a person is because you love them. You are complete with the other person. It is not only about sex or the fact that one is male and the other is female. The only reason to marry a person is because you LOVE then and that alone is what I believe you are missing. Admirring others in how they look what they wear has nothing to do with being married. The couple who loves each other does not stop realizing that there are other people who look good dress well. However they know that there partner is part of themselves and no one else can be that for them. They do not need others to fill that need because they have it filled already.

[BRANDYJ]

I am always looking at attractive women. In fact I have a female roommate that is very feminine, attractive and sexy. My SO lives in Michigan due to family obligations. I am committed to her and will not cheat on her. But that does not stop me from admiring other women. I'd have to be dead to do that. Like my SO says, I can look all I want to charge my batteries as long as i come home to discharge them. My attraction to my SO is a lot deeper then her outward beauty. The real attraction is in her soul and who she is as a person, a woman. I don'
t see a contradiction here at all.

[marny]

I'm well known for thinking outside of the box ..but not in this department! I love my wife and from my view,she gets better looking every year. :battingeyelashes:

[Claire Cook]

I think that explanation is in the definition of the term "attracted."

I'm happily married and, frankly, my attraction is centered on my wife. Yes, I can look at other women, appreciate their attractiveness, and analyze their clothes and makeup, but my *intimate* attraction is reserved for the woman I married.

Perhaps that is why I am happily married! :)

Erin's reply works for me. One wrinkle: I love to go out with girl friends -- as one of their girl friends. Maybe when I see an attractive woman I fantasize about having a girls' lunch and talking about clothes!

[TGMarla]

I am very attracted to women. However, I've been married 17 years, and I wouldn't think of cheating on her. In fact, in any relationship I've ever been in, I've never cheated on any of them at any time. I believe in fidelity. It's a matter of personal integrity. As with Kathi, sometimes my attraction is a mixture of physical attraction and a bit of harmless envy. I'll likely never stop looking at beautiful women. But I'll also never be unfaithful to my wife.

[Sophie86]

I find other women attractive, but they don't attract me.

Honestly, though, I think this is shorthand for "leave me alone, I'm very married."


A day without a bra is like a day without sunshine

Anita Bryant would be very proud of you. Only a hussy would run around without her bra. :)

[eluuzion]

"Since the day I first noticed by wife floating across the floor at choir practice, I can honestly say that I have never had even the slightest case of "roving eyes". I know I will never see another woman that could make me feel the way she makes me feel..."

Hey, wait a minute...I'm not married!
K, jus' disregard all that... I thought for a minute there we were all just practicing our lyings, er, ah... I mean ...lines. My bad...hehehe

Sure I notice attractive women whether I am married or not. Some activities can make you go "blind", but marriage is not one of them. However I do believe there are ways to notice and even interact with attractive outsiders when you are already committed that send a consistent and unquestionable message that you are not "available" or a "fisherman".

I feel there is always a distinction between being an attractive woman and being "attractive to me." The "interested in" part of the attraction model is firmly connected to personality and character for me. For example dancers at strip clubs have never done anything for me. Nor have the types of women (married or single) that seem compelled to see how many guys in any given crowd would be interested in her, if she gave them a "chance". That is an immediate interest killer for me.

Observing any person intentionally sending out "availability" signals while they are in a committed relationship is like watching them pull up the bottom of their dress or suit and begin blowing their nose on it. :heehee:

:love:

[docrobbysherry]

This thread is NOT about:

Love
Marriage
Being unfaithful
Having sex

It's simply about men finding women ATTRACTIVE, and WHY/HOW married CDs can be ONLY ATTRACTED TO THEIR SO!:eek:

My goodness, even Jimmy Carter, (u may NOT have liked his politics, but few questioned his character), admitted he, "Lusted after other women". He would never act upon his thots! Like most married men, I expect!

Let me repeat my example:
You're out and u see a gorgeous woman and u don't even have the private thot that she's; pretty, sexy, or ATTRACTIVE?:straightface:


The reason to marry a person is because you love them. You are complete with the other person. It is not only about sex or the fact that one is male and the other is female. The only reason to marry a person is because you LOVE then and that alone is what I believe you are missing. Admirring others in how they look what they wear has nothing to do with being married. The couple who loves each other does not stop realizing that there are other people who look good dress well. However they know that there partner is part of themselves and no one else can be that for them. They do not need others to fill that need because they have it filled already.

This thread wasn't intended to have ANYTHING to do with your feelings for your SO!
It's about HOW or WHY u no longer find other women ATTRACTIVE!:brolleyes:
I'm a bit dubious of those claims!

Unless, somehow your feelings for your SO can make u BLIND to other women? Is THAT what u mean, Gerri?

[RADER]

I love my Wife very much; and I would never betray her trust in me to be faithfully.
Now when I see a pretty girl, yes I look. I would not be a Human Man if I did not find a
member of the opposite sex attractive. My wife is OK with that, she says that I would be dead
if I did not notice an other girl walking down the street. Remember, you can look, but do not
touch.
Rader

[Eryn]

This thread wasn't intended to have ANYTHING to do with your feelings for your SO!
It's about HOW or WHY u no longer find other women ATTRACTIVE!:brolleyes:
I'm a bit dubious of those claims!

Unless, somehow your feelings for your SO can make u BLIND to other women? Is THAT what u mean, Gerri?

I find many woman attractive (in the sense of being aesthetically pleasing) if that is what you are getting at. That doesn't mean I have to respond to their attractiveness.

[suzy1]

A heterosexual man is sexually attracted to women. All attractive women. That’s how we are made.
A heterosexual man that says he is only sexually attracted to one woman is fibbing, to put it politely.
But this is obvious. A no brainer.

SUZY

[kendra_gurl]

Let me repeat my example:
You're out and u see a gorgeous woman and all u can think of is, "OMG! Thank goodness I GET to go home to my SO and NOT to HER"!?
So, u don't even have the private thot that she's; pretty, sexy, or ATTRACTIVE?:straightface:





In the context of this forum I think most married CD's who say they are attracted only to women are simply speaking in general of their sexual preference. Of course we all think a Hot female is Hot. To entertain the thought of what she may be like in the bedroom is not out of the question but that does not mean we take any steps to make that thought a reality. Some do however, probably no larger percentage of CD's than Non CD's

You may be confusing the word Attractive with Sexual Attraction.. Appearance makes lots of women (and things too) attractive. The attractiveness of a beautiful woman can cause one an admiration of or pleasure to see her beauty without creating a sexual lust

[minalost]

It's one thing to find people other than your wife attractive; it's another to DO something about it.
:2c:

[AKAMichelle]

I see nothing wrong with window shopping which I enjoy on a regular basis. I love to look and talk with women - except my wife. We are most likely going to go ahead and get the divorce which is why I say what I just did. Communication has broken down along with a lot of other things.

[sissystephanie]

I was married to my late wife for almost 50 years before cancer took her!! And I was very definitely attracted to her for that entire time, and in fact I still am. But I told her, very early in our marriage, that I did like to look at females!! In fact, what I told her was that when I quit looking at females she should just close the lid on me because I was dead!!

That was not "attraction," that was admiration for the female shape! There is a world of difference between attraction and admiration, at least in my mind. I have seen, in my long life, many women that I admired!! But there was no attraction at all!! There is a lady to whom I am attracted now, but she is married to a man who is also my friend!! Other than family the other women in my life are those whom I ADMIRE!!

[Sallee]

I am attracted to al women. Like the song says "If I ain't lookin I'm dead" I think some song says that any way it fits. Now I am not saying I won't cheat I might, but not likely It has to be a 2 way street. I might be admiring but I am not looking if that makes any sense.
I will try to live by the marriage vows but I am not perfect and I am human, I think.

[NicoleScott]

Just because you're on a diet doesn't mean you can't look at the menu.

[DonnaT]

I'm happily married and, frankly, my attraction is centered on my wife. Yes, I can look at other women, appreciate their attractiveness, and analyze their clothes and makeup, but my *intimate* attraction is reserved for the woman I married.

Perhaps that is why I am happily married! :)
Ditto.

And I'll add, my wife is the only person I've been sexually attracted to, even though I dated or tried to date other women before getting married.

[docrobbysherry]

-----------------------------------------------------------You may be confusing the word Attractive with Sexual Attraction.. Appearance makes lots of women (and things too) attractive. The attractiveness of a beautiful woman can cause one an admiration of or pleasure to see her beauty without creating a sexual lust

Quote from Webster's:
attractive- "Having the quality of attracting; having the power of charming or alluring; inviting; engaging; enticing. -n. That which attracts; a charm or allurement."

THIS is EXACTLY what a meant by, "attractive"! There isn't ANYTHING involving "sex", in the definition, Kendra. Nor did I intend any!

I find the concept that every male that thinks a woman is "ATTRACTIVE" means he wants to have sex with her patently ridiculous! And, apparently, so did Webster! Lol!

[Samantha43]

Just because you're on a diet doesn't mean you can't look at the menu.

I have been married for 23 years and love my wife, and yes I still find other women attractive. I look at the menu, I just don't order.....

[Sarasometimes]

I agree. Just the other day I was at a wedding and the bride was absolutely stunning. My friend's bride, I'm looking and liking what I see but not anything more!! I also adored her corset backed mermaid style gown a bit too.

[kendra_gurl]

I find the concept that every male that thinks a woman is "ATTRACTIVE" means he wants to have sex with her patently ridiculous! And, apparently, so did Webster! Lol!



I think that is obvious from the responses so far in this thread and is exactly what you quoted me as saying.

How do you possibly get from my post that I am saying anything else? Please re read my post

It's the way you stated your question that leads me to believe you were thinking sexual attraction. It really makes no sence to me without the lust or sexual context as you stated it


"OMG! Thank goodness I GET to go home to my SO and NOT to HER"!?

I think by most everyones post we all considered that to meant YOU cannot believe anyone would think that way hence we would all really wish we COULD go home with her. And if we did what would be on our minds? Just sit there and a admire her charms?

[Dannigirl]

why dont we just simplify things and say physically beautiful, pretty, cute, easy on the eyes........... ? I am sure most can agree that at sometime or another we have all looked at somebody of the opposite sex and said they are beautiful, in fact I am sure most of us can say we have looked at a person of the same sex and said, yup, he's a good looking guy..... doesn't mean you want to tocuh the person........ let's simplify things shall we ? You're cruising around in your 100 foot yacht when all of a sudden Paul Allen (ex Microsoft) cruises by in his 400+ foot yacht - do you look the other way - no you look at his friggin yacht and say, wow, that yacht is awesome. You may not want the yacht because you are already happy with yours, but you can admire it, doesn't mean you love your yacht any less !!

[SusanQ]

I've been married more than 40 years now. My wife is my lover and definitely my best friend...why on Earth would I want to do anything to hurt her?

But as she says on many occasions, "its fine to look, just don't touch :)" I think that most men enjoy seeing attractive women, but that doesn't mean they do anything other than just look. I see lots of Jaguars and Bentleys in the streets of the Dallas Metroplex...I admire them all...but I'm not buying one :)

[Iskandra]

I admire other females at times, it's not about shape, size, age, colour or what she is wearing.. It's how comfortable she looks in her own 'skin'...
It's like art, JP's blue poles just looks like a mess of paint splatters, but you can see the comfort and the soul of the artist in its creation.. Then there are those ahem :brolleyes: "master of light" kinkade paintings that are picture perfect, but devoid of soul..
My mind is attracted to mind and soul first and foremost..
I am with the soul that attracts me the most, the mind that stimulates mine the most, the physical being that fits my physicalness the best!
Yes I look and admire, but as for attraction, she is a magnet, my magnet, the strongest magnet on the planet that makes every other magnet just a piece of (sometimes shiny) metal..

I guess to answer your question, it's a matter of semantics..

[kimdl93]

I couldn't state that I'm exclusively attracted to my SO. I have lusted in my heart many times... But I lusted outside my last marriage and that didn't work out so well :( So, no more extracurricular lusting.

[Veronica Lacey]

Yes, to say "only attracted to my s/o" and then say "attracted to other women" is contradictory. For myself it is straight forward.

I find many women pretty or beautiful, some interesting, some all of those traits at the same time. Yet I am attracted solely to my wife because she is everything to me and so much more. On top of that there is no other woman who can replace the seventeen plus years of wonderful history I share with my wife. Lastly, as odd as it may sound, I just cannot think sexually about another woman no matter what she looks like or how nice she is. There is only one for the true intimacy part and that's the Mrs. As interested as I was in sex as a teen I still had difficulty imagining sex with a girl; I just knew I wanted to give it a try.

Fascinating topic, docrobbysherry. Good choice.

[Meredy]

If a person was not deeply in love with another person, there would never be a proposal.
Even though our marrage has taken many blows over the past years, I still love my wife, and that is why I came out to her.
where we go from here seems up in the air, but I still love her and want to spend my time with her.
I appreciate a lovely woman, but external beauty is a facet, the whole woman that you can love is glorious.

[docrobbysherry]

I think that is obvious from the responses so far in this thread and is exactly what you quoted me as saying.

How do you possibly get from my post that I am saying anything else? Please re read my post

It's the way you stated your question that leads me to believe you were thinking sexual attraction. It really makes no sence to me without the lust or sexual context as you stated it


"OMG! Thank goodness I GET to go home to my SO and NOT to HER"!?

I think by most everyones post we all considered that to meant YOU cannot believe anyone would think that way hence we would all really wish we COULD go home with her. And if we did what would be on our minds? Just sit there and a admire her charms?

Kendra, I agree with u! That WAS a bad example! And, I'll go back and edit it! Thank u pointing that out!

[SamaraS]

I may start a wild debate with this, but as cross dressers are considered part of the LGBT community whether we like it or not. The right to choose which gender you are sexually attracted to is implicitly part of that choice. While the community outside the LGBT generally believes cross dressers are primarily gay men, there is still a lot of education that needs to be done on our (CDs) behalf to change that stereotype.

One other point I find interesting is that few here admit they find males attractive. While I don't sleep with men, I can acknowledge men are attractive. Many women acknowledge other women are attractive more readily (in my personal experience), but there is still homophobia about a man admitting another man is attractive. Yes, I do think other women are attractive, and my wife knows it. I know she thinks other men are attractive. It is pretty difficult to say that no one else you know or have seen is attractive aside from your SO.

I realize that this is a bit off topic, and hopefully I stir the hornet's nest too much.

[Jane G]

My guess is those of us writing that they're ONLY attracted to their wives, well, have wives who read these forums. ;)

I'm pretty sure my wife does not read this forum.

I probably tell her she is beauifull at least once every day, because she is. I see other beatiful women every day and I check them out, but I don't feel attracted to them, probably because I have no need of them.

[Joann Smith]

Married CD are only attracted to thier wives ... because it hurts thier wallet really really bad when they become attracted to other women

Joann

[Jessica86]

Any guy in the world will look at other women. I do. Women will do the same thing with guys. The difference that separates the good from the bad are those people who act on that. I do see other women who I think are attractive. I then think of my wife, who I know respects me, who I know loves me, who I know is faithful and won't sleep around, and what not. To be blunt, there are too many people who have big issues that make them not worth it at all. I learned that the hard way. I see my wife and not only think she is beautiful, but a lot more. There's more than her looks that keeps me with her. I can't describe it, but hope this helps.

[Rachel Morley]

Well first of all in my case, no matter how attractive the woman is I doubt I would find her more attractive than my wife, because my wife is really pretty! .. but if I do see a woman who is as attractive as my wife, yes, I would notice her but at the same time I would also think that in all likelihood she would never be as compatible to me as my wife is and I doubt I'm even her type. Also, I'm totally monogamous, I always have been, I can't help it. It's in my nature.

[DebbieL]

I've read COUNTLESS posts from MARRIED CDs. In which they state they r only attracted to females.:daydreaming: OK, THAT I get!:thumbsup:

But, then they go on to say, they r ONLY ATTRACTED to their SO!
THAT, I DON'T GET!:straightface:

I was married, now divorced. I loved my ex, but NEVER stopped looking at other women. I didn't and wouldn't have, broken my vows with any of them. BUT, I'll readily admit I was ATTRACTED to some of them!:o


So, u see a stunning young woman and u think, "Wow! I MUST get home to my SO"!? REALLY?:eek:

I became LESS attracted to my SO over the years! Not MORE! Was I so UNIQUE? Or, r some of the married CDs here swimming in a river in Egypt?:brolleyes:

One of the great things about being a CD is that when I see a beautiful woman in a beautiful outfit, with hear done well, make-up done well, and good posture, and a sweet voice, I can see both the woman as a person, that is, a human being with her own preferences, tastes, desires, and interests, which more than likely do NOT include and overwhelming desire to date a cross-dressing male of my age, biological proportions, and so on.

On the other hand, I can look at the beautiful outfit and think "Wow, that outfit looks great on her, I wonder where she bought it? I wonder if they have it in my size? I wonder how much weight I'd have to lose to look as good as she does? Where would I wear it?

I can look at her smooth legs with no blemishes nicks, or scars, and thing "Wax, Nair, or Epilator?" I wander what it would take for me to have legs that smooth.

When I sook at her hair, I can think to myself, I like the way she had it colored, I wonder if that shade would look good on me? Did she have hers permed? Should I get mine permed? I wonder if I could get a wig to look that good?

But for those of us who had tried the "monte-carlo" method of finding an SO, that is, going on dates with women we find attractive, then telling them about our special desire, or perhaps hinting subtly by sharing fashion tips, and asking advice, only to kill any chance of a sexual relationship and turn our new flame into a female friend, we appreciate how special it is when we have an SO, Lover, Wife, or partner who truly enjoys and embraces our feminine side.

In the gay community, they used to have the "hankie code", and cross-dressers could wear purple hankies to indicate their desire, and red hankie to show they liked women. But most heterosexual women didn't know the hankie code.

Of course, the paradox is that most women who really DO like cross-dressers aren't strictly "straight". They like the idea of a male, but they also like the feminine side. Of the lovers who really embraced Debbie, 3 were bi-sexual, and three were lesbian. My own wife hadn't had a lover, male or female, for quite some time, and she liked "being in charge of it".

When I put my profile on Facebook, which included pictures of Debbie, there were over 1,000 women who viewed the profile and moved on. There were SIX who were seriously interested, and every one of them was someone who did NOT consider themselves "Straight". When I go out in public as Debbie, and someone asks if I'm gay, I tell them "Yes, I'm a Lesbian". What's interesting is that when I say this to real Lesbians, they often say "yeah, but what about that THING down there". I say "that lil ol thing, not much to it really, but I can have a really good time with just a vibrator, and I do wear a condom, just to keep from messing up the wardrobe. That usually gets a good chuckle, and an invitation to join the other girls.

So, yes, it is not unusual that a CD who has found a loving and supportive woman who not only accepts, but even embraces and seduces his feminine side, would not want to do ANYTHING that would jeopardize that wonderful and special relationship.

For me, the only time I included other women, was when my primary partner would bring home girl-friends that SHE wanted to play with, and we would have three-ways. The girls loved our parties, because there was no pressure for vaginal sex, and at the same time, I was very eager to please all guests at the party. The parties often got very interesting, because we all liked dressing up in clothes that made us feel beautiful and sexy, there was no big rush to get them off, and we would also include games like light bondage and teasing as well as as many orgasms as each guest could handle (until they gave the clear "NO MORE!!" indicator, such as crying Uncle).

But the thing is that I did not pick these women out, my lover did. And she got to set the ground rules for everybody, including what was OK and what was not.

In each case, I knew how special each of these women was, and did not want to do anything that would put that relationship at risk. More importantly, we could also be best friends, talking about EVERYTHING else that was going on in each other's lives. We had love at a number of levels.

If I look at a beautiful woman, and I actually start to think about a relationship with her, I start to consider the relationships that didn't work out so well. I thing of the women who were self-obsessed, vain, selfish, and were looking for a "Real Man", not a "sissy", and consider the possibility that even if this woman were to show an interest, I'd really need to consider whether I was actually putting myself in a good situation. Simply put, if a woman wants to seduce me, even when I'm NOT in a relationship, she has to pretty much whack me over the head with a crow-bar, because subtle hints are too easily misread, and I want to be absolutely sure that she really is interested in Debbie, before I even consider much more than a nice friendly meeting over coffee, and even that's more likely to turn into a friendship, not a romance, unless she makes it really clear she wants more.

When I'm in a relationship, especially when I'm married, I have both male and female wedding rings, and if a girl gets too flirty, I'll start to admire my pretty ring, and then start asking her about her other interests. In many cases, they just love that they can talk to a male about their lives as women.