Have you been hit on by guys all of your life? Is it "gaydar"?

[Phoebe P.]

I've always had guys hit on me, but have never identified as gay or truly bi. When I was in HS my manager hit on me and my Mom wanted me to quit working there. I was quite capable of taking care of myself so I didn't worry a/b it.

Later I was hit on many times by gay men. Do you think there is a vibe put out there or just an acceptance of people in general? I've always heard of "gaydar". When I was in college an older man tried to take advantage of me when I was quite drunk.

We were out on a boat drinking beer and he leered at me as I had to relieve myself and later came into my room (at his home) and proceeded to take advantage of me. I stopped it before it went all the way, but my friends definitely questioned what happened. I wasn't totally averse to it, but it was w/o my consent. If he had asked, I don't know what I would have said.

Since then I have been hit on many times though I'm married. I don't have a big problem with it, and it's flattering whenever anyone finds me attractive.

Is it a vibe or just being accepting?

Now that I think a/b it, I had another manager that was gay who hit on me and a designer that told me I was cute and wanted to know if I was available.

Holy Moly! There was another guy that hit on me right in front of my wife in a furniture store that we frequented...

[Cynthia Anne]

Wow Phoebe! There must be something guys are reading about you! Either your great looks or your talk, manners or somthing! Hugs!

[Vickie_CDTV]

If I had your mother, I would have felt the same way (and would have had a talk with your boss while accompanied by a lawyer or police officer, assuming you were underaged.)

If you are sincerely not interested, I'd just let people know it in polite but firm manner. You could also drop cues about your interest in women; eg. "I went out with a date with Jane last week", "An old girlfriend of mine used to do blah blah blah" etc.

[eluuzion]

Now that you mentioned it, yes, I think I have been "hit on" a lot in my life. Not when dressed, but I always wondered if it was normal or I was some kind of "magnet", or sending out some mixed non-verbal signals or something...

It happened frequently when I lived in south Florida. I just figured I fit some kind of profile. Thin, tan, blond hair, etc. That was a long time ago, but it still happens. Like a couple of weeks ago in a Wal-Mart. I shop late at night/early am to avoid the crowds. I was back in the "ammo" aisle looking for pellets for my pellet rifle. I was kneeling down looking at the choices and felt this "presence" of somebody close to me. (I'm pretty good at hide-n-seek drama anyway). I glanced behind me as I stood up an walked away.

There was a guy looking at me with a sheepish unusual stare. I just blew it off and headed for electronics. A couple minutes later...there he was again at the end of the aisle I was in. (there were only a handful of people in the entire store.) Kind of freaky, but amusing. I guess, given the time of night and my natural tendency to acknowledge everyone or just make some weird quick connections to passers-by...I may have sent some hopeful message in his mind...

Other times I can tell clerks or whoever it is are obviously trying to make a connection. I do not give it much thought one way or another. Everybody has to give it it shot if they think there is hope...or we would all be single the rest of our lives, eh...kinda like me...:sad:...boo-hoo...:heehee:

:love:

[daywalker1966]

I'm actually straight, but when I became Ginnae I got hit on TONS. Some of them were pretty aggressive about wanting what I had. The worst was an old old man that really wanted the hot little goth gal in the hoop skirt. Some were teen boys. It was flattering...............I think:)

[ReineD]

Do you wear a wedding ring, or is this not a deterrent for people any more?

Do women hit on you too, or is it mostly guys?

Last question ... are you hoping that the guys who do hit on you sense your inner female?

[Fab Karen]

Gaydar is a sixth sense kinda feeling that that guy or girl over there is probably not exactly straight. When I see Ralph Reed on tv, it goes off like a smoke alarm on top of a BBQ grill.

[DonniDarkness]

Do you wear a wedding ring, or is this not a deterrent for people any more?

i have found it really doesnt matter to others anymore. I never take mine off, but that doesnt stop people from flirting or putting the moves on.

Infidelity is rampant everywhere, divorce rate is high....people dont see marriage as a deterrent anymore because there are so many people out there who are truly unhappy in their marriages.

-Donni-

[Claire Cook]

In HS and college I'd be hit on by guys -- long before I had any thoughts of dressing in public. That hasn't happened in years. Interesting that the only times I have had what I thought were possible "hit-ons" when have come from other women.

[dilane]

As an adult I've only been hit on when dressed. Mostly in the "straight" world. Ranging in age from a couple of guys in their early 30's and up to a fit 70. I've also gotten a few hits from women in Lesbian bars.

As a teenager though, I was approached by a boss, but I simply declined, no problems.

[misskristykitty]

My CD boyfriend when he posts his pics up here or on his facebook page he has for her he always has guys and other CD's hitting on him. I find it flattering =)

[ReineD]

MissKK, I made the same mistake in the beginning, believing that when my SO was leaving pic comments, or when she was receiving them, it was about hitting on and getting hit on.

This is actually not the case for most people here. It's more about giving and receiving validation. Not saying there aren't CDs who are into other CDs, just that the rules of engagement are slightly different here, and in most places where people leave pic comments to CDers. :)

Either that .... or I've had the wool pulled over my eyes big time! :D :D :D

[MsKimiko]

I've gotten hit on by gay guys occasionally and when I am dressed online I have a lot of guys hitting on me. Wouldn't know if it would happen if I was actually out

[Kerrylee61]

Oh my, yes since I was in High School and ever since then, although not so much now that I'm older. Some of my best friends are gay and when I meet new gay fellows, the chemistry is there. I've had a number of gay friends who know me both as my male self and as Kerry who are the very MALE gay type who love to go out with me as Kerry. Then of course I have a couple of Gender Dysphoric gals who have chosen to be in Lesbian relationships but absolutely love to be with me in either presentation. In my younger years, I was very much a Pretty Boy so that would explain the attraction. Of course with male gays, there is very much a tendency to want a young pretty boy. Since I have no problem with gay men or women at all they seemed to be drawn to me. My wife finds it interesting at how I attract gays of both genders. She know that I'm not attracted to them for sexual reasons but only because I treat them all as people. Their orientation is not an issue to me.

[ReineD]

I find this thread fascinating! :)

OK ... apart from overt sexual advances, how do you know that someone who is being nice to you is hitting on you? People approach me all the time too, men and women, and I never take it that they are hitting on me. I just think they are being nice and I engage in conversations right back at them.

Not talking about creepy aisle stalkers at Walmart like Eluuzion's example, but just people who come up to you and start a conversation or joke around.

I mean, is it me, or isn't it kinda egotistical for people to think that everyone is hitting on them? :p

[dilane]

OK ... apart from overt sexual advances, how do you know that someone who is being nice to you is hitting on you? People approach me all the time too, men and women, and I never take it that they are hitting on me. I just think they are being nice and I engage in conversations right back at them.

I mean, is it me, or isn't it kinda egotistical for people to think that everyone is hitting on them? :p

Good point, Reine. A hit is when someone approaches me and asks me out, or asks to sit down at my table and chats and gives me his number. At a bar, I consider a bought drink to be a hit. This often segues into being asked out or being given a phone number. Also, being asked to dance (which often ends up having a drink bought).

When I'm asked out I usually say I'm a TS. Sometimes I say I'm already in a relationship. Depends on the person and the situation.

In one case, when I was asked out and I said I'm a TS, he looked at me for a few seconds with his head slightly tilted and said "You know, I think I'd be ok with that..." :0

Merely turning a head is just a compliment :)

-- Diane

[the_me]

Made a Plenty of Fish profile, threw a few pics up, and made the mistake of not restricting who could message me. Got a LOT of perverts just looking for anonymous sex. Worst part is how all the pervs type like poorly educated children. (Here's one: "Lookin to have some fun right u free" or: "u are so pretty, how u doing, i am so interested in you")

One guy at a gay bar buy another CD and myself a round of drinks, then precede to pass out drunk on his bar stool and get kicked out, that was pretty funny. Good looking too.

Got some pretty flirty comments and a kiss bar tending for a local Imperial Court event while dressed, that was nice!

All said, I enjoy it a lot. Not too sure if it's just a vibe put off from dressing or whatnot, but like it anyway.

[StarrOfDelite]

I've been hit on by men since I was 14-15 years old. I was a very good high school athlete, on some very good athletic teams, and was also a spelling bee champion and got some other academic honors, so my pictures appeared in the local paper with some frequency. And, if I wasn't dressed in short pants for the track or basketball team, the paper used a photo which in the 1960's style featured full, pouty lips and big doe eyes, and I used to get come-ons from anonymous callers, letters also anonymous, and of course the gratuitous grope from some old Fag in the movie house or whatever. lt was very upsetting when I was a teen-ager, because I really thought that it was 'Gay-dar' working (that term was unknown then) and these guys could see that I was homosexual.

My dad and my uncle actually set-up a stalker who had called me on the phone and beat the crap out of him, and I remember being quite happy about that.

When I was in my 20's and 30's the techniques changed, but I would still be approached in the restaurant lavatory, the professional convention, and even at a cocktail party my first wife and I were hosting in our home! I was quite homophobic at the time, and really unhappy about those occasions. My second wife has great Gaydar, and she used to nudge me and remark upon it when she thought men were looking at me with too much intensity.

Looking back on it, I can rationalize that I was, by a quirk of fate, the quintessential twink: Tall, slender but muscular, blonde hair, blue eyes, cheeks with rosy spots, and understand that it wasn't my fault, but merely a projection of somebody else's lust. Although, considering the way my life has developed since I started acting on my attractions to the world of cross-dressing and trans-sexualism over the past 15 + years, I do admit that I wonder occasionally about what if, maybe, and is it possible that there is some projection?

[Barbara Dugan]

I really dont get hit on very much by gay guys even when they read me. My Gay radar seldom fail me, I can read a gay guy even if he is straight acting

[Rachel Mari]

Interesting thread.

I don't think I've ever been hit on by any guys and very few women (very few and far inbetween, even women I've been told hit on everyone don't hit on me). I don't talk very long with guys if I don't know them and women tend to treat me as a friend more than anything else, or just don't talk to me.
I don't think I'm bad looking but I wonder what kind of vibe I give off too.

[gerri ray]

yes, I have beein hit on by men many times. O didn't identify as bisexual back then but I was flattered nonetheless lol

[KellyCD]

Do you wear a wedding ring, or is this not a deterrent for people any more?

It's not a deterrent. From my experiences its a sign that you're easier. Now this only really applies to military towns, where more often then not the wives are looking. You see a ring, she's married. Which means she's either unhappy or bored. I've mentioned before about experiences with a close friend of mine and various "wives". I will say this, married women are SO MUCH EASIER than single women. Heck the front page of the current issue of "Army Times" is a headline about a Sargent's wife cheating with his battalion commander. I had the almost exact thing happen to me(but it was a company commander).


But back on topic I've had a strangely large amount of men hit on me as well.... When I had a MySpace my inbox was full everyday with pictures of men's.....umm well junk. If they would actually read they would have figured out that I wasn't interested.

[Phoebe P.]

I find this thread fascinating! :)

OK ... apart from overt sexual advances, how do you know that someone who is being nice to you is hitting on you? People approach me all the time too, men and women, and I never take it that they are hitting on me. I just think they are being nice and I engage in conversations right back at them.

Not talking about creepy aisle stalkers at Walmart like Eluuzion's example, but just people who come up to you and start a conversation or joke around.

I mean, is it me, or isn't it kinda egotistical for people to think that everyone is hitting on them? :p

Trust me. You can tell. It's not just a simple compliment. Don't get me wrong, I'd rather have people find me attractive. It's definitely something that makes you go hmmmmm...

I do wear my wedding ring and it hasn't really mattered.

[SamaraS]

Actually, I find that there are as many, if not more "curious" straight guys that hit on me than gay men. I do go out to both straight and gay bars, and it is just about equal in terms of the times I get hit on. I rarely encourage any man, especially straight ones when they obviously don't know I am TG. I am certainly not interested in creating a scene.
Over time, I have come to realize that it is as much about how you present yourself that draws others to you as opposed to simply labeling anyone as completely gay or straight. To put it more directly, I have has men who approached me, were obviously interested and then got totally revulsed when they found I was genetically male. Other men have had gotten more excited because I was a TG. it is not clear cut.

[docrobbysherry]

U mean live and in person? Hit? Yes! Hit on? Never!

Sherry gets LOTS of online action! But, in person, guy's jaws just DROP!

And ME, dressed? Get hit on? Ha ha ha ha ha ha! ROFL!

[Laurie A]

When I was younger, in my twenties, I would get hit on by gay men quite often. I regretted that I Was not hit upon by more women...?!? I felt somewhat ambivalent about the advances from gay men, But I did find it a bit flattering.
I do think it may be a vibe, that gay men misread. I happened to work in a profession where Many of my colleagues were gay, so perhaps that had something to do with it.

Of course it also depends what your definition of being "hit on" is. I was never (thankfully) put in the position of having to forcefully fight of an unwanted advance.

Now that I'm in my mid 50's nobody hits on me, so enjoy it while you can.

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

I don't find that guys hit on me all that often, in male mode or even when I get all done up en femme. Occasionally at some TG friendly spots if I'm in full girl mode there are "admirers" in the room who will politely greet me and chat me up shortly but I think when they get that I'm not really interested in them, they tend to lose interest, there's plenty of girls there who will be.

[eluuzion]

I find this thread fascinating! :)

OK ... apart from overt sexual advances, how do you know that someone who is being nice to you is hitting on you?

Well my first tip-off is the mirror mounted on the top of their shoe...:heehee:

My loosely applied definition is more toward identifying the interest and intention, rather than an overt "I like you, do you like me" note, lol.

I focus on what a person's non-verbal cues are saying much more than the words coming out of their mouth. I have studied kinesics/non-verbal cues etc for many years and I am pretty accurate at "reading" people and intentions.

It has not happened enough times to earn me a life sized clone in the CD International Wax Museum of maniacal egomaniacs...lol. But I have been hit on by both male/females. I can feel it and see it in their facial expressions, gestures, word choice and emphasis tags.

If someone feels "everyone" is hitting on them...they are either a rock star, egomaniac, paranoid schizophrenic or my ex wife, lol.

Discussing the issue makes it appear out of proportion in reference to it's actual size and significance. Any time I have experienced this event it automatically makes me think of the difficulty involved in a gay person looking for a gay partner. Every attempt to reach out could be a circus ride if the person does not happen to be interested in gay relationships...

[Megan-Louise]

That's my life in a nutshell too :/ I got chatted up on a bus by a gay man as a teen then frequently chatted up by men throughout my teens!! I have always protested that I am not bi, just special :)

(hugs)

X x

[ReineD]

I've got to say that up til now, I thought most CDers' lives were charmed! I do read story after story in here about CDers getting hit on by men. This didn't really add up to me, since I've been going merrily along believing that most men are straight. Certainly, most are in relationship with GGs. And also I have to say that I've been hit on a few times in my life, but not to the degree I read about in here from the CDers and this is what gave rise to my earlier question.

So I asked my SO about this. He said that for a lot of men, sex is sex and it doesn't really have much to do with sexual or emotional preference. This is still a concept that I find difficult to understand since as a woman, I can't see myself hitting on another woman, but I think I am finally beginning to believe it. :p

[sandra-leigh]

Either I am very rarely hit on or I am very bad at noticing it.

I can only recall twice being hit on by males, and one of those was so drunk that he did not know or care what I was.

Someone (Reine?) mentioned being bought a drink, to them counted as being "hit on". I would say that a lot depends upon context and style. I buy people drinks and usually all I mean by it is that I am being sociable. Or that I value their presence or company more than I value my money.

"Sending" someone a drink or walking up to someone and saying, "Hey, can I buy you a drink" is different from "buying the round" or making someone feel welcome or paying for the drink that the person you are already talking to ordered. And sometimes, buying a drink for someone is to give them a socially accepted excuse to spend more time talking to you in the face of competing demands for their time.

[Kaitlyn26]

I've always had guys hit on me, but have never identified as gay or truly bi. When I was in HS my manager hit on me and my Mom wanted me to quit working there. I was quite capable of taking care of myself so I didn't worry a/b it.

Later I was hit on many times by gay men. Do you think there is a vibe put out there or just an acceptance of people in general? I've always heard of "gaydar". When I was in college an older man tried to take advantage of me when I was quite drunk.

We were out on a boat drinking beer and he leered at me as I had to relieve myself and later came into my room (at his home) and proceeded to take advantage of me. I stopped it before it went all the way, but my friends definitely questioned what happened. I wasn't totally averse to it, but it was w/o my consent. If he had asked, I don't know what I would have said.

Since then I have been hit on many times though I'm married. I don't have a big problem with it, and it's flattering whenever anyone finds me attractive.

Is it a vibe or just being accepting?

Now that I think a/b it, I had another manager that was gay who hit on me and a designer that told me I was cute and wanted to know if I was available.

Holy Moly! There was another guy that hit on me right in front of my wife in a furniture store that we frequented...

I don't get hit on that much by gay or straight guys but when they do hit on me it turns into borderline obsession very quickly. If I'm in female attire they seem to get some sort of fantasy in their heads after I tell them my little secret if they're gay.

[StarrOfDelite]

I find this thread fascinating! :)

OK ... apart from overt sexual advances, how do you know that someone who is being nice to you is hitting on you? People approach me all the time too, men and women, and I never take it that they are hitting on me. I just think they are being nice and I engage in conversations right back at them.

Not talking about creepy aisle stalkers at Walmart like Eluuzion's example, but just people who come up to you and start a conversation or joke around.

I mean, is it me, or isn't it kinda egotistical for people to think that everyone is hitting on them? :p

Reine, often times when I would be hit on by men, me being DRAB at the time, it was touchy feely stuff. Not overt genital or buttock touching, but things like holding onto my arm and feeling my biceps through my suit coat, invading my personal space to speak into my ear from less than a foot away, putting an arm over my shoulder while walking as if we were chums when we'd met half an hour previously, sitting too closely next to me on adjacent bar stools, et cetera. Believe me, it is exactly the same kind of stuff that a gender woman such as you would recognize as unwanted attention which is specifically sexual in nature.

A couple of observations. 1. When I have been overtly propositioned by other males when I've been in DRAB, almost invariably it has been them asking me to be the "Top" partner. 2. I still find a lot of this kind of behavior to be irritating even when I'm in DRAG and actually interested in dating men. It's Creepy no matter what Gender I'm presenting. 3. I'm not sure if this is significant or not, but in some ways the Guys who in the past hit on me in DRAB have been more aggressive and persistent than the Admirers who hit on me at GNO's when I'm doing my best to attract attention. This may have some bearing on discussions we've had on another thread about what Admirers are all about.

[ReineD]

Thanks, Starr.

What do you think of the observation my SO shared with me .. last paragraph, post #30?

[Badtranny]

I really dont get hit on very much by gay guys even when they read me.

Me either Barb, :-(

I've been in bars in the Castro with tight jeans and a tank top and still ended up buying my own drinks. These days (since HRT) I don't get any attention from gay guys at all.

Thankfully most any straight guy is only a few drinks away from experimenting. ;-)

[ReineD]

I really dont get hit on very much by gay guys even when they read me.


Me either Barb, :-(

Huh. Isn't ironic that it is the straight guys who do all the hitting. Gay guys are more puristic that straight guys?

I feel like such a fish out of water with this topic. Honestly, I don't get it. Venus and mars, and all. :p

Oh well. It's an education. :)

[Badtranny]

Huh. Isn't ironic that it is the straight guys who do all the hitting. Gay guys are more puristic that straight guys?

I think guys are guys. It's allegedly easier to find sex in the gay community, but that's only because there's no women around to keep things civilized. ;-)

Back when I used to think I was bi, I was with a few guys but I was doing most of the approaching. I used to wonder why, but now I realize that gay men are looking for a masculine quality that I just never had.

[BRANDYJ]

I don't think I've ever been hit on by a gay man while dressed in male mode. But I have been hit on while out in fem mode to places that welcome us that are transgendered. I don't go out dressed fem to other public places. It has even happened while sitting in a club with my then wife!

I guess I don't give off any fem or gay vibes while out and about. And to me... that's a good thing. I have been hit on and or flirted with by women over the years and that is always welcomed. It's good for my male ego.

[GirlieAmanda]

You know, this reminds me. I have been told that I am a good looking guy. I have been told that I am good looking as a girl. Yet as a guy, in the straight world, its tough because I am a little shy and no girls seem to want me even before I went full bore into TG/TS life. A couple of guys hit on me in boy mode in a gay bar on a Monday night but as soon as they heard that I was TG the air went out of the balloon of sorts I guess. When I was out this weekend, one lesbian dom type but cute and small was apparently hitting on me but I didn't realize till later when my friends said she was. Its so curious.

You probably are a little cutie and guys just can't help themselves. You have "it" I guess. I don't know if I have "it" or not. I guess enjoy "it" and just be careful and have fun. You re lucky.

[Kaitlyn26]

You know, this reminds me. I have been told that I am a good looking guy. I have been told that I am good looking as a girl. Yet as a guy, in the straight world, its tough because I am a little shy and no girls seem to want me even before I went full bore into TG/TS life. A couple of guys hit on me in boy mode in a gay bar on a Monday night but as soon as they heard that I was TG the air went out of the balloon of sorts I guess. When I was out this weekend, one lesbian dom type but cute and small was apparently hitting on me but I didn't realize till later when my friends said she was. Its so curious.

You probably are a little cutie and guys just can't help themselves. You have "it" I guess. I don't know if I have "it" or not. I guess enjoy "it" and just be careful and have fun. You re lucky.

Just because no one hits on you does not mean that you don't have "it", unless by "it" you mean having a personality that's easily approachable and an exterior that's not too bad looking. The former is a large reason that people tend to feel comfortable "hitting on" me I think. Maybe it has more to do with your shyness in guy mode that's bleeding over to your female side? I was always a very easy person to flirt with, even as a friend playing around. Also if gay men were hitting on you, it means they want a guy, not a women. If you told them you wanted to be or enjoy presenting as a women it was probably just a massive turn off for them and had nothing to do with your TG/TS status other than the fact that they were uninterested in women.

[StarrOfDelite]

Thanks, Starr.

What do you think of the observation my SO shared with me .. last paragraph, post #30?

I am reminded of Alice Novic's comment about how Males like me are not Straight Men and probably never have thought precisely as a straight man would about sexual matters anytime in our lives, and wonder how qualified I am to comment about your SO's observation. With that caveat in place, I think that I'd agree with him that, "for a lot of men sex is sex and it really doesn't have much to do with sexual or emotional preference." I am absolutely convinced that there are many men out and about who would Top a willing gay person without any emotional or intellectual reflection upon the concept that by engaging in such activity they are themselves engaging in Gayness. To these guys, as long as it is their penis penetrating another person's body it is perfectly acceptable uber masculine behavior.

In particular, I remember one guy against whom I frequently played racquetball and handball saying with an element of pride, during a B.S. session sitting around the locker room, that "he would f**k a snake if he could get it to hold still." He was a good-looking, well-built, not too tall, Italian-American guy who worked in construction, and athletic competitor or not, I'm sure that under the right circumstances he would have accepted oral or anal sex from me, and would have had no second thoughts about the emotional consequences. Using another man would be an affirmation of his own maleness and power.

This was 15-20 years ago, before I learned the truth that I was sharing my psyche and body with a transvestite bottom, and I was still in homophobic self-denial. I don't fantasize about him or his ilk nowadays either, because that's not the type of man who is attractive to me.

Norman Mailer was fascinated by by the concept that it was the "right" of the more powerful male to sexually use other men (e.g. "Ancient Evenings"), and I'm fairly sure that concept is still floating around somewhere in the brains of a lot of American men. Mailer wrote fiction about the victorious Egyptian warriors raping defeated Assyrian opponents after a battle as if it was commonplace, but I don't know if he has any actual valid historical basis for that concept.

Where I think your SO misses the mark, however, is that he is equating th Macho Uber Masculine personality with the personality which wants to hit on other men, and by and large these super macho types are not the ones who hit on me when I was in DRAB. I don't want to stereotype, but my general impression of the guys who did hit on me was that they were persuader and enabler types rather than the Macho Beast types who figure so prominently in Fictionmania and Literotica stories and CD/TV prison rape fantasies. More like an insurance salesman trying to sell an annuity than the bete noire who stops the trembling CD in an alley an says "Down on your knees you faggot!" (apologies to all insurance people on the forum).

I was never hit on in DRAB by anyone like my old racquetball partner, and don't buy into the proposition that such men are themselves just a different shade of Gay. They don't think about it, and they wouldn't have sex with me because I am a transvestite gay male, they'd do it because I have a warm body orifice that they want to penetrate for physical reasons, and emotional reasons that have more to do with male dominance than male attraction.

[lynn_lynn]

2 younger guys yesterday followed me in a gas station. the one giggled the other told on his friend. said "he thought you was a girl" and the other defended himself saying" you do have nice legs" . I had just come from a wave pool and was wearing a skimpy outfit with a long tshirt.. im sure they was straight but open minded dudes. the situation was nice complement and made me feel better after family dumps crap on me. ha, some my make up is crappy too, so it just washes off. :p

[joannemarie barker]

I can walk into a gay bar and find nobody attractive and then walk into a "straight" bar and see half a dozen men I'd be interested in :(

[Badtranny]

I can walk into a gay bar and find nobody attractive and then walk into a "straight" bar and see half a dozen men I'd be interested in :(

Amen sister! After I came out as gay and started openly exploring the "scene", I was devastated to learn that I wasn't attracted to gay men. That was about 4 years ago and it was my first clue that something was still not quite right.

[ReineD]

I was never hit on in DRAB by anyone like my old racquetball partner, and don't buy into the proposition that such men are themselves just a different shade of Gay. They don't think about it, and they wouldn't have sex with me because I am a transvestite gay male, they'd do it because I have a warm body orifice that they want to penetrate for physical reasons, and emotional reasons that have more to do with male dominance than male attraction.

I did paraphrase my SO. But I gather he meant what you so eloquently say above. Thanks for your thoughts! :)

[Fab Karen]

So I asked my SO about this. He said that for a lot of men, sex is sex and it doesn't really have much to do with sexual or emotional preference. This is still a concept that I find difficult to understand since as a woman, I can't see myself hitting on another woman, but I think I am finally beginning to believe it. :p

Quentin Crisp joked that: "men aren't heterosexual or homosexual, they're just sexual."