Have you been through this, or is it just me?

[Violetgray]

Has anyone else been through these things or is it just me?

1.) Spend time getting dressed to the nines, looking in the mirror and feeling fabulous. Then, days later get dressed again, using your exact same makeup, doing it the exact same way only to look into the same mirror and see a hideous creature That doesn't do deserve to wear a dress?

2.) Be in a public setting with a bunch of women, and forget you are in guy mode and just be a part of a lengthy discussion about something really girly like makeup or dresses or heels with no comment, just girls enjoying the conversation?

3.) Man who was attracted find out that you're male, then instantly does an about-face and starts talking about how mannish you are. For example, A friend of mine re-posted one of my Youtube videos, then the following exchange took place in her comment section:

Person A: OH ! This is where i saw her poem first.... THIS CHICK might be CRAZY !!!! do you know her ? I totally wanna date a crazy chick who eats smurfs or invite her on to yoyodc.com to talk it out.

Person B: You might not want to date her, but yes I know her and she is AWESOME!!!! Check her out on youtube, she has made many a poetic video.

Person B: Her "Women's History Month Series Part I : The Pirate Queen" was amazing!!!

Person A: Well. I have been known to date crazy bitches that look good. I can't tell 100% on the look good... but she is def crazy !!

Person B:..... She, is a He. And totally straight :)

Person A:YES ! my personal assistant totally called it was a guy and I swore it was just an ugly black chick that looked manish and that i've have plenty of them in my family !!!

NOW HE MUST BE ON MY SHOW !


4.) Or how about identifying as a cd, but having some really TS thoughts like wishing you had breasts, wishing you could get ffs, wishing you had wider hips?

5.) Or a very slowww erosion of the closet and as you get older you begin to care less and less how well you hide it?

6.) Get really pissed after reading extremely transphobic religious or radical feminist fringe sites like fabmatters (don't go to this blog, it will piss you off it is like the KKK for transpeople) And coming up with rebuttals in your head at your computer table?

Just wonderin'..

[Cynthia Anne]

I can relate to some of those! But for the life of me I can't see #1 or #3 applying to you! You are way to beautiful for that to happen!

[JaytoJillian]

Guilty as charged, LoL

[joanna4]

#1,4,and 5 have hit me the hardest. I plan on making a thread on #1 because it happens everytime I get something new, grrrr.

[NV Susan]

Number 4 has me written all over it!!!

[5150 Girl]

I plead guilty to counts, 2, 5, and 6
Yea, I almost plaed guilty on the 4th charge, but I don't see myself as CD,,, I think of myself as a TS who just can't aford (fisacaly) to do anyhting about it.

[Eryn]

#1 all the time, mostly with my wig! One time it will look smashing, the next unruly and ugly.

I also have problems with being with groups of GGs. I love the conversation, but I have to be careful not to display too much knowledge of femme arts. A couple of nights ago I was at a party and one of the women worked for a major brand of hair care products. She brought prototypes for a new product for the ladies to try and I (sob) didn't get any. :(

[Sheren Kelly]

1,4,5 & 6 are very real for me. I seem to float in the pink fog and each time I find myself pushing the "what if i could...." question a bit further.

I find myself wanting to integrate and be more femme in a daily setting. I do work with a lot of ex-military and occasionally hear phobic remarks, that I am sure it is amplified by the super macho guy dynamic. I usually rebut these remarks and that has at times has exiled me from the "guy" dynamic.

[DeeInGeorgia]

Number 4, those are just parts of gender expression in my book. My self identification is male, My identity when I dream is a male, but how I best present, how I am happiest appearing is feminine, and my innate actions are more feminine than masculine.

[Iskandra]

Once at work a coworker was talking to me about his hobby, ballroom dancing, and how he knew a girl that could dance (and win trophies) in 5inch heels but had to practically be carried off the floor coz she could not walk in them.. Dancing apparantly is all in the toes..
Anyway, I blurted out, "walking in 5 inch heels is not that hard!" followed by a lot of back pedalling and something about a drunk dare.. :o

But you can have a lot of fun with it too..
A woman I work with once commented that It must be my time of the month coz I was grumpy and bitchy... So a little later I went up to her and asked if she had a spare tampon... She didn't and I said, geez, a ladder in my stockings and not a tampon in sight when you need one, can the day get any worse?! Next I'll break a heel.. She cracked up laughing. and said I'd look good in heels.. :heehee:

Little does she know! :D

[TGMarla]

Let's see.....well, I think we all have those #1 days, where we get "dude in a dress" syndrome. It sucks. You look in the mirror and think to yourself, "Why did I do this? What's the point? I'm a laughing stock." Fortunately there are other days when I actually feel pretty.

As for #2, yeah, but it's a rarity. I think women like it when a man will chime in on a girl topic without reservation.

#3, well, I don't blog or make vids, so that doesn't apply. But I can certainly imagine it happening. A girl's all pretty until they understand that you're male, and then it's like they saw through it all along. Yeah, okay.

I have feelings akin to #4 all the time, every day. Heavy sigh...move on with my day. There's nothing I can do about it, and it's not gonna happen.

I try to be careful about #5, out of deference to my wife, who'd rather not deal with it. But there are days when I almost don't care what people think. They can deal with it, and if they don't like it, screw 'em.

As for #6, I don't visit blogs like that. Certainly done by narrow minds who cannot comprehend this whole TG thing. My wish for them is to have to walk in our shoes for only a while, and they'd realize this isn't something we brought on ourselves, and no one chooses this in their lives. Rather, it's thrust upon us, and we're all this way because we have no choice but to be this way. So again, screw 'em.

[Chickhe]

I could relate to 1, 4,6 but I agree with all of them. However, I think a lot of what I feel is the result of my strong imagination...so I brush off the negative and try to remember the rest and I don't seek out any permanent changes. I only had a couple interactions with males and when they find out, I get, 'well...if you were a girl I'd be all over you on the dance floor, or complements and its my voice that gave me away' and I would say half of the time they do shy away, but the other half will hang around talking and joking with me (my experience is mostly at parties though). A #7 could be, do you end up with a group of woman talking with you and guys off in another circle?...reversed from what normally happens?

[Kathi Lake]

Yes to number 1. Oh my GOD yes to number 2 (I've now given up on even caring what they think. I just chime in). Yes also to numbers 4 and 5.

As to number 3, no guy in their right mind - even if it was mostly pickled in alcohol - would ever find me attractive. I'm fine with that.

:)

Kathi

[Vickie_CDTV]

I can totally relate to #1, sometimes I dress and think I look "ok", sometimes I am very frustrated with how I look. Then again, I am a real perfectionist and whatever I may do I always feel when I am done I could have, and should have, done it better.

[NathalieX66]

Yep, on all counts....being out in public rules!...especially in a mainstream environment.

I don't let 6 bother me, mainly because Republicans are using the angry right wingers (Xtian fundamentalists especially) to desperately gain needed votes, and the latter is using the former to propel their agenda.

All I can say is: when I started dressing two & a half years ago, I thought I was the cat's meow, and now I look at myself today comparing me back then , and I feel so ashamed. ...practice makes perfect, I guess.
And yeah, I'm still not completely satisfied..... but I accept it.

[Barbara Dugan]

Yes to all of those situations # 4 is the one that give me more trouble.

[Theresa Eve]

Never #3, luckily (or maybe I'm just not paying attention!)

I try to stay away from #6. Life is short, and high blood pressure can make it shorter.

All of the rest though! As far as #4 goes, as time marches on I'm thinking those things all of the time, and more.

[docrobbysherry]

Hmmm, NO! Not as long as I take my meds! Sherry may be another story, tho!

[Diane Smith]

I totally relate to all your observations.

Regarding #1, I have a little refrigerator magnet mounted right next to my bathroom mirror that says, "Some days are just a total waste of makeup."

- Diane

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Vi, Been there and done that.

Orchid

[Joann Smith]

1... Do that all the time, and it works in reverse too sometimes things i looked like hell in one day all of a sudden look great on me ...ok..after a few drinks..of course !

2....This one to ...but for some strange reason girls always seem to involve me in girly conversantion when i am in guy mode....

5....my fingernails are painted glitter pink ...even in guy mode ...maybe thats the reason for 2....

[Sarah Doepner]

I don't change, so it must be the clothes that change as they hang in the closet. It's not me, they go from stunning to ugly in a few days and just need to be replaced with something else pretty.

The only guys who have ever expressed interest in me when I was en femme were internet trolls. I had to wash my eyes out after that, but that was their problem. As for the rest, yeah, probably fairly common around here. I'd love to scootch a little more over to the girl side of things occasionally, but it's never enough of a desire to make the commitment (I guess that commitment thing shows I'm still a guy). The closet has been a bit of a problem and my wife has to remind me occasionally that while she is comfortable and accepting, she doesn't speak for the rest of the family and I'd better keep the lid on and door closed.

I don't have to go searching for opinionated idiots. There are just too many of them out there who seem to be happy to let everyone know how they feel about anything in their unbridled stream of consciousness. I just keep wishing for an expansion of the muzzle laws when these mad dogs start yapping.

[Fab Karen]

#1, in fairness to our kind, some GG's get that feeling too.

Person A thinks to himself: "WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME??" -keep swimming that Egyptian river buddy.

[SabrinaDubh]

Everything except 2 and 3. Number 4 on a daily basis. When I had more time to dress and dressed regularly I went through number 1 quite a bit.

[Kathryn Philips]

Has anyone else been through these things or is it just me?

1.) Spend time getting dressed to the nines, looking in the mirror and feeling fabulous. Then, days later get dressed again, using your exact same makeup, doing it the exact same way only to look into the same mirror and see a hideous creature That doesn't do deserve to wear a dress?...


Yes, the first picture was 2 days ago and the second last night. I think in my case it all depends on the shape of my lips. The natural outline of my lips gets covered with foundation so I have to guess some days I look really nice some not so good. Not hideous, but with plenty of room for improvement. The woman in me always deserves to wear a dress... poor thing she has so few opportunities

[Rachel Morley]

Yes! Very much so to number 1. This happens a lot to me. My wife says it's normal as no woman feels good about herself all the time. It's just how it is.

Yes to number 2 as well. I know it seems weird to people looking on (especially guys) but it seems the most natural thing in the world to me.

Can't say that number 3 has ever happened to me.

Another bug yes! for number 4 and a also a yes for number 5.

Number 6, well I never really get "really pissed off" .. not in such a way that I feel angry or the need to "get back at them" or have a need to find rebuttals. These people don't understand me ... so ok, it's the same for me in other areas of my life too. I'm a vegan and people don't understand that either. Come to think of it, most people don't get me. Oh well ... C'est la vie.

[StarrOfDelite]

1., 2., 4. 5. and 6. The only thing I can say about 1., which drives me crazy, is that it happens with G-girls, too, all the time.

[victoriamwilliams1]

I can relate to #1 and #6! However #4 would tick me off!!!