a few general questions, post ops heres your chance!

[Aprilrain]

OK posties, serious question for you here. Does it work! really! I have read all the surgical websites which of course all say yes, albeit with some small print, but of course they are selling something. I have talked to 2 post ops who both said yes. The one account I heard second hand but the other told me directly. She said she had difficulties at first, I believe problematic was the word she used. Anyway sex is very important to me I am a very sexual creature and the more girl i become the more comfortable with my body and sexuality i am however it don't work no more! Yeah if i really try hard i can have an orgasm but its often not worth the effort. Of course i'm speaking purely masturbation here, no current Bo to help me out : ( Not exactly sure if it would change my mind one way or the other but I want more real life experience to inform me rather than just 2 accounts and medical ads. I mean if im going to completely desex myself I guess I want to prepare and not have any false hopes.

this question is not post op specific. so my upper lip is close to being clear with electrolysis but there is still a shadow there! its like the skin is darker right under where the mustache was. anyone else have this problem? does it go away? is there something i can do about it?

Kaitlyn tell us more about this rebooting that goes on. I'm serious not being a smart ass at all. That is just the most helpful description of the apparently indescribable change that occurs after SRS.

[Katesback]

The interesting thing I found happen after SRS is how Quickly the mind reprograms to accept what is down there. It took a surprisingly short amount of time for it to become really difficult to visualize what life was like before when I had the penis. I cannot even really picture it. It is as if the parts that are there now have always been there.

To the acts of sexual nature. Sex for a woman is far more mental than physical. After surgery this becomes incredibly apparent. It took me six or so tries before I had an orgasm and at first I didnt like how hard it was to even get there.

I had never had an orgasm in my mind prior to srs, but since srs I have, and that means I had no manual stimulation of the parts. The downside of this mental thing is that you have to relearn sexuality and sex. The first time I had sex with a man it was like a total disconect because my mind had 10000 sensations going to it and I could not process them. It takes some time to work these out and learn how to be in the mood mentally and all that. The idea of having sex with someone I dont have a deep emotional commitment to is not at all of interest for if I dont have that commitment then there will be no fun in sex. One of the bonuses of SRS is it opens the door to multiple orgasms one after the other and every one being different. The only limitation is your physical endurance and desires.


This might sound strange though but I never really took much time to look at the new parts. I dont look at them much today. Personally I dont really find thier appearance that attractive. I find them higher maintenance, meaning the girl smell, the having to sit to pee which sucks when you jogging and cant find a bush. The first year of constant dialation, and all the crap that came with it. The real kicker, I miss the zero maintenance that was before surgery, I miss the easy orgasm with a simple rub for today it's the mental game I formentioned. Basically put it is more work to be a woman. No surprise but the one thing I will say about having had srs is that it is nice to have the parts that were supposed to be there when I was born!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!

I might point out that these experiences are intrinsic elements that all women have to learn. Another reason I say SRS is so important and an integral part of being a woman. For if you dont ever get SRS you will never experience these amayzing things and in the end you really wont completely experience whats its like to be a woman.

[Diane Elizabeth]

Aprilrain, I feel the same as you do in regards to your questions. I am a long way from getting SRS (assuming I can afford it, ever). But I am extremely concerned that I won't be able to enjoy sex as a woman. As you pointed out that the Drs are trying to sell a bill of goods to us. Its like those TV ads for diet pills. They say the results may not be typical of others. But, it is encouraging to hear the positives of SRS. I would like to hear from more of the post op girls on their results.

[Michelle.M]

Regarding your blue lip undershadow - how many electrolysis sessions have you had? My electrologist states that the blue beard shadow should go away between the 4th and 5th session as there will be continue to be hair that needs attention, and the lip is probably the most dense area of facial hair you need to deal with.

[Faith_G]

Mine is still too fresh to have any sexual experience (surgery on 6/6). But I can tell you that there is still plenty of sensation down there, and when my girlfriend messes around (in other areas) too much I can feel myself getting aroused. At this point it still hurts when that happens, but it's an encouraging sign. After 4 weeks without sex I'm getting frustrated with the pain, I wanna get it on! I sure don't feel like I've been desexed.

Apart from sex/libido it's been quite a positive change, I am happy when I look in the mirror or down, clothes or no clothes. I can't overemphasize what that's been worth to me. I feel safer when out and about because I'm no longer hiding anything. Even in the middle of the worst pain I was still happy I'd gotten the surgery. I'm feeling impatient with the healing process of course, but I know it will be healed soon enough.

[Aprilrain]

Regarding your blue lip undershadow - how many electrolysis sessions have you had? My electrologist states that the blue beard shadow should go away between the 4th and 5th session as there will be continue to be hair that needs attention, and the lip is probably the most dense area of facial hair you need to deal with.

probably 6 sessions? there is very little hair coming in on my upper lip and what is there is pretty fine. like i said the color seems to that of the skin not the hair. whats weird is i used to pluck all the hair and the first time i did the hair stayed gone for more than a week and there was no color other than my lip being red for a day or two.

[CharleneT]

probably 6 sessions? there is very little hair coming in on my upper lip and what is there is pretty fine. like i said the color seems to that of the skin not the hair. whats weird is i used to pluck all the hair and the first time i did the hair stayed gone for more than a week and there was no color other than my lip being red for a day or two.

If you look at people carefully, you'll find that often different parts of the face have darker/lighter skin tones. The upper lip in GG's is often darker than other areas of the face. You just do not think about it with them! As well, many women have darker upper lip hair. In fact, the whole electrolysis industry is based on the needs of cis-women - not us ;) Even after your face is cleared completely, there may be a darker tone there, but do not worry, people really won't notice it. Also keep in mind that you are hyper-aware of your face, especially right now. Try to be as zen as possible about the mirror :meditate:

[Michelle.M]

probably 6 sessions? there is very little hair coming in on my upper lip and what is there is pretty fine. like i said the color seems to that of the skin not the hair. whats weird is i used to pluck all the hair and the first time i did the hair stayed gone for more than a week and there was no color other than my lip being red for a day or two.

Hmmm . . . I am no expert (and Charlene's comments make sense), but perhaps one of those skin creams or moisturizers that claim to even out skin tones might help?

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I had surgery with dr meltzer.. i can orgasm in 15 seconds...it is satisfying but in a different way.. i think i am a rare case where the feeling is stronger but shorter.. i can actually feel release as opposed to the other way when i felt it never quiite got about 98% release...there is a difference... also it is more in the mind..i am much for aroused by thoughts, and i have MANY fewer thoughts, which doesnt bother me at all..

as a guy, i could very rarely orgasm with partner... of course i average 100 orgasms a week to relieve anxiety.. i tried every combination of partners.. after srs i still can't orgasm, but i can come much closer and i think i will be able to next time...
also, the feeling of being "****ed" is very much you probably imagine...the sensation of being filled up is more pleasant than sexual to me... i am not sure if others feel this way...

i know this is detailed, but i got alot of good advice in choosing surgeons... dr meltzer does 2 things... he frowns on getting a labia until after the area heals, so if you want "lips" and "labia" you need to do a second operation.. i honestly think his results in pictures are wonderful... and he concentrates the sexually stimulated nerve in a large area from the clittoris to just above the vagina literally all over the skin in that area... its a very nice feeling because it seems to get stimulated VERY EASILY..imagine that very localized feeling you have in your penis, but also imagine over a very large area...

the bottom line is talk to everybody you can about results..... and pick a surgeon you like....if you are enjoying a sexlife now, you should expect to enjoy one later...

hope that helps...

april this is the reboot, for me, i changed from thinking that only this tg stuff matters, and now everything else matters,..i imagine a good way to describe it is that i bet this is how cisgendered people feel... what i am is inconceivable to me..but i happy to live my life as a woman with a different path than most...it's over...i win..

i still shave every day.. i have light skin, but very little dark hairs, they are basically single hairs scattered around my chin and upper lip!! i put on a blend cover that works very well... my skin is all dry and cut up ALL THE TIME because of the shaving, and the skin is softer...it is very noticable to me, and i'm very self conscious about it..even tho i worked hard at hair removeal..laser, 250 hrs of electrolysis (which is also inconceivable to me..) i still have fricking hairs....

old ladies have hairs... so i think in the end, i'll just get them when i can...my advice...GET MORE HAIR REMOVAL AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!!!

[Aprilrain]

I never had any problems having an orgasm as a male especially when I assumed the female role, in my head anyway. I often became a little bored, detached and just plane jealous of my partner when in the male role but either way orgasm wasn't that hard to achieve. often times i would kill having a really good orgasm because i would have to do things to keep from cumming so i could last longer. I was a good lover cause i just did what id have wanted done to me, they always seemed to like it. there was so much mental baggage that came with having an orgasm though. up until about a week ago i was still able to have an orgasm though it was really starting to require more effort than it was worth. the last time i tried i just gave up it was an exercise in futility and it was just depressing that more than anything I just wanted someone there holding me.

Trust me I am killing hairs in ernest! im really starting to feel like transition is futile though. There are so many male attributes that just seem impossible to get rid of I really feel like the universe is just laughing at me. HA HA HA KEEP TRYING BOY! I hate it. like many of us here the alternative is self destruction so really what choice do i have but the problem is I will probably just end up being displeased with the out come anyway because I am such a perfectionist.

[Aprilrain]

no one else wants to share with the group? come on! everybody wants to know! and you guy's are the only ones who can tell us! Thanks Kate, Faith and Kaitlyn for sharing on this most intimate part of your bodies and lives. Thank you to the others on the hair removal advise.

[Frances]

I had surgery in February, so it's a little early to tell. For one, I have only recently started to regain sensitivity as a whole. The clitoris was always sensitive, but it sometimes felt weird touching the surrounding area. I had sensations deep under the skin, but not on the outside. It felt like touching a baseball glove or something. I was not too sexual in the past and HRT slowed that down even further. It did not bother me as I felt my male sex drive (mostly auto-erotic) discordant with my identity. So losing that was a major relief.

Sometimes while doing my "exercices" (my euphemism for dilation), I start thinking about men and their parts and get very excited, without even touching myself. I achieved something that felt like an orgasm a few times. I do touch myself as well, but it hurts a little still. The sexual thought has to come first and be a strong enough trigger, or I don't care enough to do it. Before HRT, boredom could have enough of a trigger.

[Aprilrain]

1. I felt my male sex drive (mostly auto-erotic) discordant with my identity. So losing that was a major relief.

2. I start thinking about men and their parts and get very excited, without even touching myself. The sexual thought has to come first and be a strong enough trigger, or I don't care enough to do it. Before HRT, boredom could have enough of a trigger.

1. this was me totally at first but now i do not feel a male sex drive at all and im completely comfortable feeling the way i do about myself (hetro female) and the way i do about sex (want a man) the discord is gone except for my body parts only i still don't hate my penis its just a thing to me id rather it be a pussy but that doesn't translate in to hate my dick

2. yes before HRT boredom was often the trigger lol, but even more often was just wanting to be female and have sex as a female, im very sexual. the problem is I think about men and their "parts" ALL THE TIME! especially a certain individual and like you said with out even touching myself i get all kinds of exciting and pleasant sensations throughout my body especially deep in my pelvic region. this can be walking down the street or driving in my car! it's nothing like an orgasm but pleasant none the less.

Ive actually been quite surprised at how horny and sexual i have been since about 3 months on hormones before that i really wasn't interested. Now im like a bitch in heat like 25 days out of the month! lol

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Sometimes while doing my "exercices" (my euphemism for dilation), I start thinking about men and their parts and get very excited, without even touching myself. I achieved something that felt like an orgasm a few times. I do touch myself as well, but it hurts a little still. The sexual thought has to come first and be a strong enough trigger, or I don't care enough to do it. Before HRT, boredom could have enough of a trigger.

This happens very strongly even without exercises...in fact, right now i'm starting to.... oh never mind

[Jennifer Marie P.]

I just had surgery 6 weeks ago and its still a little painful and Im ready to try my vagina and have sexual intercourse but was told to wait another month too sensative.

[ReineD]

This is probably one of the best resources I've come across on female orgasm. There is a link in the first paragraph to a transhealth site with further resources, but they do say the article is helpful to GGs and transwomen both. :)

http://brown.edu/Student_Services/Health_Services/Health_Education/sexual_health/sexuality/female_orgasm.php

[Aprilrain]

This is probably one of the best resources I've come across on female orgasm. There is a link in the first paragraph to a transhealth site with further resources, but they do say the article is helpful to GGs and transwomen both. :)

http://brown.edu/Student_Services/Health_Services/Health_Education/sexual_health/sexuality/female_orgasm.php

thank you Reine this is a great resorce.