Pushing the Envelope

[minalost]

Okay, so you are, for whatever reason, totally in the closet.

But you can’t help but push that envelope just a little bit more: pluck your eyebrows just a little thinner… grow your finger nails out just a little longer… epilate your arm/leg hair and then wear shorts and sleeveless tops… pierce both of your ears… wear toe rings and go bare foot…

Nothing totally feminine by itself, but it could start to make people wonder.

I am in the closet to everyone but my wife and I have done everything in the paragraph above but pierce my ears (and I really, really want to :D!). How about the rest of you closeted crossdressers? Do you push the envelope too?

[midnightMelissa]

Well, I recently pierced my ears. Not sure if that is totally a crossdressing thing though but I woke up one morning and had an urge to get it done so I did. Found out that not one person noticed or at least if they did, they were too polite to say anything.

I frequently let my nails grow out to the point it affects my typing. However, I started noticing that my late night excursions have been getting earlier and earlier lately. As my name implies I usually go out fully dressed or at least in heels and a skirt late at night after dark. So for me that is pushing the envelope a bit. I usually sit on my porch or go out for a drive. I've even pulled an all nighter at work a few times while en femme. The porch however sits right next to the side walk and allows for an excellent view for any passers-by.

Melissa

[Eryn]

I probably push it more than I should. Always smooth all over, nails on the long side for a guy and clear polish, etc.

The nails are an odd thing. I bit my nails all of my life, but after I came out to my wife and started exploring CDing more fully I stopped biting them. Maybe it was a stress thing. I file them occasionally, but I'm always afraid of falling back into old habits so they stay longer than normal.

[Karren H]

My envelope exploded years ago.... Though not officially out at work I think a lot of people know or suspect but no one cares. Long nails. Plucking and shaving and light makeup.. Jewelry and womens shoes. Corset just about full time. Pink desk accessories. Pink ties. Pink shirts.

[Meredy]

Totally in the closet.
I always tend to let my nails grow longer than I should, but more because I just hate the feeling os short nails.
I shaved my legs over my Xmas vacation, but has since grown back, so I shaved everything from the legs up recently, kept up with it for a bit, but it is now growing back too.
I let my hair grow for awhile too, but started getting grief from my management.
Painted my toe nails a very unoticable lilac.

All these things I would have never done a year ago although I longed to, I'm pushing my envelope alot lately.

[RADER]

Call me MS. Chicken; The only way I push the envelope is to under dress with fem Jeans,(Sorry Karren)
panties and some times a bra, when I can wear a heavy shirt to hide the strap lines.
My closet is so big, and air tight. The deal with my Wife, who allows me to dress at home all I want,
is not to embarrass her in any way. So I respect her wishes, and deal with it.
If I did go out, I would look like the guy in the old Charmin commercial on TV many years ago. LOL
Rader

[Genivieve]

I've pushed things recently if only to start giving cues to those who matter. I've had comments about my super thin eyebrows, sudden lack of arm and leg hair, and I have been wearing girl pants. So far its raised a lot of questions that I am not ready to answer.

[suzy1]

I pushed the envelope by epilating my body including my arms.
Everything was fine for ages.
And then, one day my daughter gave me a long look and said Dad, have you shaved your arms? I said I had epilated them. Then I was asked if I epilated my legs. Yes I said. And your body? Yep.
Now I waited in trepidation for the next question. But it did not come.
That was several months ago. Think I got away with it.

SUZY

[SusanLaine]

I've been shaving my legs for decades and in all that time only 2 people ever said anything - in both cases I just let it pass and nothing ever became of it. I've started shaving my arms about 9 months ago and it's a real PITA because it grows back so fast. The good news is that it only take a few seconds to shave them again. I've been plucking my eyebrows and shaving my chest for about 20 years and nobody has ever said a thing. It helps that I have really light hair to begin with.

During my laser treatments to my beard I noticed a lot of male clients and the people running the place said that they get quite a few men that have their entire bodies treated and plenty of chests, backs and arms.

I don't think most of the basics (missing hair) are too far out of the norm for many men these days so it's pretty easy to do. The only thing I haven't done yet is get my ears pierced but only because I've waited so long that I'll have to endure some awkward attention from my kids...but clip-on hurt and nice ones are hard to find. :-)

I tried epilating my arms and would not do it again - it's painful and after laser and electrolysis on my face I know more about the perils of pulling hair. I may have my arms and chest treated at the electrologist but it's very painful and takes forever so shaving isn't all that bad.

[Tammy V]

I am constantly pusing the same envelopes. I do not think I am trying to clue the clueless in, but I just want to express my own femininity as much as I can. My wife has even offered to pierce my ears but I am not ready for any comments or professional problems from doing so.

[DonnaT]

Legs are shaved, ears pierced, sometimes I wear polish on my nails, and sometimes I even wear perfume.

[Erika_bagels]

Trying to push the envelope at home first, where my wife knows, but seems to only be comfortable with me wearing panties. I'm planning on buying a body hair trimmer so I can finally be smooth again(something I found amazing before I realized what it meant to me), but even then she didn't seem to be into that idea. So I say unto you, you push the envelope further than I, fellow closeted CD.

[Barbara Dugan]

I am on the closet but been shaving my whole body for about two years thought I wear long sleeves and never shorts because I should avoid sun exposure because of an skin condition, on that matter very few people notice even some ask why I wear long sleeves on 100 degree weather...I've been waxing and shaping my eyebrows for more than a year, sometimes I do them very thin for guy mode that's when I feel that I push the envelope a little bit because you can tell the diference on how fem eyebrows can make you look.

[joanna4]

I am currently in the closet but I started shaving my legs earlier this year and plan on getting my eyebrows threaded very soon.

[Patrice_CD]

I push the envelope probably once a week at work. I'll wear my girl jeans with embellished pockets, Women's shoes, corset to give me some curves (daily), polished finger nails in light pink with my ring finger a contrasting color (this week hot pink with silver shatter), My toes are always painted something fun (this week a combination of lady bugs and Japanese beetles), mascara (daily), and lip gloss (daily). My nails are long for a guy. Both of my ears are pierced and I wear girly diamond studs (they were my mothers). My brows are thinned and trimmed. I wear the thinnest knee highs I have found (daily) and no longer wear socks. I wear a silky type lace panties daily as well. I've only told a few close GG's and my wife. Other's I'm sure wonder what the hell has gone on with me since winter as that's when I started down this road. This has been a new hobby I thoroughly enjoy it and don't plan to stop anytime soon. I'm not worried about what others think of me as I am happy. Work hasn't said anything negative but I'm sure if I were to wear a skirt or blouse something might be. So I'm happy where I'm at on an almost daily basis and there isn't too much more I can push without going to work fully dressed.

At first my wife was worried about what friends might say. To date, no one seems to care as I've always been a bit odd and I'm still the same person they have always known. I talk to everyone the same and everyone still treats me the same. Life is short, and I know it and take full advantage of it now.

[docrobbysherry]

I'm TOTALLY in the closet, Mina. But, have NO INTEREST in doing any of those things! I'm fortunate to have little or no visible body hair. Except in ears and nose. Which I DO trim.

My face, hands, and hair r so old and homely, that nail polish and makeup r a complete waste of time and energy, (think- lipstick on a pig!)!

I mask them when I dress! Ok, some folks call hand masks, gloves, and hair masks, wigs!

[StephanieC]

Plucking/Waxing: Yes
Long nails: Yes
Shiny nails: Yes but I try to be discrete
Smooth: Well, until summer. My concession is the forearms and legs to the knee (below the limit of shorts) are "native, but maintained"
Pierced ears: That would be crossing the line
Toe do-dads: Mine are ugly. I try not to draw attention to them
Long hair: Yes
Underdressed: Yes
Fem clothes: if I can get away with it
Bra: Again, crossing the line
Mascara, concealer, tinted moisterizer (plus a ton of other skin-care stuff you don't even see)
Body spray

[Starr]

Pushing the envelope is something I do whenever I get the chance.. I have long nails and hair, smooth shaved all over except for the arms which I keep trimed down really short. May try removing the hair sometime soon with nair and see how that goes.. Finger nails are always at least painted with a shinny clear polish and toes with some type of color. I wear womens jeans, or shorts often and panties most all the time. Use only womens antipesperant and body creams and depending on if I am around someone I know or not I may wear a little perfume. I have been shaving my legs chest and everything else for years and love the smooth sexy feeling. If I am out of town then I will be fully dressed with makeup, heels and all as it feels so natural now that my hair is long enough to style in a girly style and wear it down.

So I guess I might not really be in the closet that much just to the ones close to me that I don't want to know about my fem side.. Lets say in the closet with the door wide open and one foot and a sexy leg out...

lol

[Sharon B.]

Although still somewhat in the closet but have taken some baby steps out as a woman, I have pushed the envelope a few times by leaving here completely dressed as a woman and have stopped at the end of driveway to walk across the road to get my mail in the daylight where as before I have always gone out when the sun was going down. I hope to start laying in the sun wearing my womens swimsuit.

[Annie D]

I am a high school coach and physical education teacher. The weather in North Texas is moderately warm/hot for 7 of the 10 months of the school year. My regular school attire consists of golf shorts and a polo, short socks and running shoes. I have shaved my legs for over 15 years, have my ears pierced (dbl in both ears) and wear either just one in the left ear and sometimes one in both ears. My eyebrows are waxed and plucked every two weeks, my hair is now shoulder length (pulled back in a ponytail for work) and I have worn clear acrylic nails for the past two years. Occasionally I will get a comment about my nails, especially when I have to write a hall/bathroom pass but really not much is said at least where I can hear it. High school girls notice almost everything but I doubt that they put it all together. By the way, I am a varsity girls coach with over 50 student athletes in my program. Pushing the envelope, only if I let them do my makeup and hair!

[VioletJourney]

I'm in the closet but I'm purposefully not doing a good job covering it up. I don't want people to be too surprised when I finally come out.

[AmyGaleRT]

I'm growing my hair out; my fiancee likes my hair long, something that lets me make her happy while secretly making me happy, too. I've also been growing out my nails, mainly through breaking my habit of biting them. :)

I have shaved my legs & other body areas in the past, and would gladly do so again if I didn't think my fiancee would throw a fit. As for ear-piercing...well, she doesn't even have pierced ears, so for me to get them would be a real stretch! (Though it would be kinda nice...I bought her this nice pair of earrings before I realized her ears weren't pierced, and they've just been gathering dust all this time...)

[Jamie001]

I believe that pushing the envelope in male mode is the only way for us to make progress. If we cower in the closet, we never make progress like our gay brothers and sisters. Our gay brothers and sisters got out there and showed the word that they are proud and that they are not going back into the closet. Why can't we follow suit and get out there and "push the envelope"? Why are we so closeted and fearful as compared to gay folks? In my case, whenever I am not at work, I wear fem items in male mode. Those items include: Purse (even at work), fem hair style and color(also at work), shaved arms and legs (also at work), clear nail polish on fingers (also at work), red toenails (only when not at work), fem sandals/shoes (only when not at work). Let's get out there and be proud of who we are and make a difference.

[VioletJourney]

^ Closeted =/= fearful. Some people simply don't want to get out and about. And please try not to compare us to gays, that's a big problem that we're trying to stop.

[girlygirly]

I push the envelope as far as I can without feeling uncomfortable or trying to pass, which I find too challenging, with no quantifiable reward for me.

Today I'm wearing a black ladies tank top, and a pair of cut-off Tilt jeans. They aren't cut off to the point of being Daisy Dukes, I left about 4" of inseam, but they're clearly girls jeans to almost any female. Underneath, I'm wearing satin string bikini undies with a floral print, and prominent VPL's. I act like there's nothing to look at, and only the occasional female looks too hard. To me that isn't a big deal.

[MattiQ]

Everything I do is streaching the envelope in boy mode. My favorite is painted toe nails and flip flops. I also like to wear female pants out and about with a bright tee shirt. It is all about feeling a little fem anytime, not just when in a dress.

[Frédérique]

How about the rest of you closeted crossdressers? Do you push the envelope too?

There is no “envelope.” That is a myth. I do not recognize any constraints that are championed by conformists. Imagine there is no envelope, no enclosure, no boundaries, and you will be free to live life as you see fit. Is your personal universe finite or infinite? That is the question, and you should begin with an appreciation of the infinite. Don’t be afraid. In my case, I refuse to become what the world calls “normal,” living outside the imaginary envelope that hinders imagination…
:battingeyelashes:

[Lauren Richards]

Well put, Frederique. Thoughtful and inspiring.

Lauren

[donnatracey]

Yes, but not for everyone.....

[Crysten]

Well last weekend I took a trip to costco just about fully dressed, womens jeans, shoes (sports shoes), bra/panties/pantyhose, and a womens sweater. The only male/andro thing I had on was my black northface zip up fleece. In the car I had a skirt heels and forms which I changed into as soon as I was done shopping since its an hour drive home. No one home when I got here so the clothes stayed on for several hours ;-) It was really fun and no one batted an eye at me although i was pretty understated for sure.

[Jamie001]

^ Closeted =/= fearful. Some people simply don't want to get out and about. And please try not to compare us to gays, that's a big problem that we're trying to stop.

It was not my intention to compare us to gays ,however I am attempting to understand why gay folks have a lot more courage to get out there an be themselves whereas the majority of crossdressers lack this courage. Just look around you... How many crossdressers do you see on the street on a daily basis? - you don't because 95 percent of them are deeply closeted.

[Jamie001]

Everything I do is streaching the envelope in boy mode. My favorite is painted toe nails and flip flops. I also like to wear female pants out and about with a bright tee shirt. It is all about feeling a little fem anytime, not just when in a dress.

Matti,

I completely agree with the concept of feeline fem anytime. If more CDs would push the envelope then it would become more acceptable for guys to wear fem items. Women exercised this freedom by pushing the envelope and as a result they are much more free to wear men's clothing than men are to wear women's clothing.

[Jamie001]

There is no “envelope.” That is a myth. I do not recognize any constraints that are championed by conformists. Imagine there is no envelope, no enclosure, no boundaries, and you will be free to live life as you see fit. Is your personal universe finite or infinite? That is the question, and you should begin with an appreciation of the infinite. Don’t be afraid. In my case, I refuse to become what the world calls “normal,” living outside the imaginary envelope that hinders imagination…
:battingeyelashes:

Amen and thank you for these thoughts.

[prene]

Most of my friends do not know. I am still in the closeet.

i have been out dressed but to places where i would be noticed. Fast food store, CD tollerant nite places.

I have pushed the limits. I always wear panties, I have also started underdressing. I love wearing attached forms, seamless bras and corsets . . / under my male clothes.

[rata]

I push the envelope as far as I can ive got pierced ears , female glasses , feminim bob style haircut, shaved legs 12 months of the year now for 3 years, hairless everywhere else. and i only wear womens jeans , pants and shorts and shoes. I keep my nails long until i start to catch them on things at work which usually hurts lol.

[Melody Phillips]

I do a little bit. I started by plucking my brows...then I went to shaving my pits and epilating my legs and recently pierced both ears.

[Kathy4ever]

I keep pushing more and more this year. It started in November with epilating the whole body. (still keeping up with it). Been wearing panties everyday since January. Started doing my own mainicure and pedicure and exfolitaling with a nice olive oil, floral sent & epson salt mixture., Nice shiny and getting longer finger nails. Two weks ago changed my hair style to a more of stlye I can wear fem. Last friday died my hair a golden brown, Started to wear my earings again and not just studs either. I tinted my eyebrows the golden brown too and been slowly shaping them more fem. Started using aveno moisurizer that creates a nice sheen to my face. I've been wearing ladies shorts more and more and couple ladies t-shirts. I want to push further but the wife gets a little annoyed with me.

[Jay Cee]

It sneaks up on you, Mina. I've epilated my body hair, gotten my ears pierced, had pedicures and then gone out in public with sandals on, etc, etc. It's an evolution of sorts, leading to you being true to yourself.

[Polly R]

Think I've really pushed it a tad too far now. I was at the beauty parlour on Saturday having a mini facial and asked the beautician about ear piercing. My wife and I had talked about it previously and she sort of seemed ok with the idea so I decided to go for it. She's not too happy! I think it's more the small starter studs I had put in than anything else - tried to be clever and get something that wouldn't show too much instead of something really male-like until the 5-6 weeks is up. I have to go along with her, they do look a bit girly. I could of course take them out and let the holes heal but that would seem a waste now after spending on it and going through with it. Am looking for some of the almost invisible medical grade plastic studs to put in instead but not sure if I can take my gold studs out yet to change them.

I know I have pushed the boundaries in other ways over the years - I try to keep my eyebrows under control yet still try to look manly for work, shave my legs for when I 'm going out to the local CDers clubnights every so often. Up to now we've come to a reasonable working relationship about me CDing but it's still stressful on occasions and especially now...

xx Polly

[Danni Kay]

It does sneak up on you! I pierced my ears (long ago), keep my nails long and nicely shaped (sometimes with clear polish on my fingernails and usually a pretty red, pink, or purple color on my toenails), epilate my arms (underarms too), legs, and chest, get my eyebrows waxed into a clean feminine arch, sometimes wear a little make-up in guy mode, sometimes wear women's sandals, tops or shorts in guy mode, wear women's capris or crop pants in guy mode, wear women's undies all the time. I'd say I've become fairly feminized from where I was 10 years back.

I'm sure some people have noticed, but I've only gotten a few comments over the years (mostly about my nails), one guy remarked "your nails are as long as a girl's" in a neutral tone and another time a male teller at a bank told me I had nice nails. Also, years ago when I told a GG friend of mine who knew about my CDing that I wanted to start getting my brows waxed, she said "People might think you're a drag queen!". But I did it anyway, and she told me they look good (but "too pretty for a guy"), and it's inspired her to get hers done regularly as well.

[Marjorie Anne]

Hmmm, gets me thinking that many things that used to be pushing the envelope ended up being normal: mani'ed nails with clear polish, pedi'ed toes with color, waxed eyebrows, shaved legs & pits. Now the envelope has moved to wearing women's pants and t-shirts out as well as sandals & shoes. My favorite this spring was bright pink converse sneakers!

[Tess]

You girls are way ahead of me. No one knows including my wife. Due to medical conditions she has very poor vision and almost no sense of smell. Those are terrible things but it does allow me to gently push my very restrictive envelope. I do limited shaving, arm pits, chest, and even some leg shaving but not totally. My toe nails aren't painted but they are shinny. I wear feminine deodorant daily plus often wear perfume. I'm also able to wear panties daily. Not very impressive but it adds some zest to my life.

[drag n fly]

I shaved my head about 3 years ago...then, since it looked boring, I had my head tattooed with several life sized flying insects...2 butterflies, a dragonfly, a bumblebee and some vines and a pretty morning glory...Then, I had my ears pierced about 8 months ago...I keep myself totally shaven, except for my arms...which I have shaved several times, but find it just a tad to conspicuous...My nipples are getting larger, I take finasteride for prostate problems...I keep my toe nails painted. Right now a pale pink...I am in the closet to all except a few close women friends...I shave my brows totally...My wife dislikes all this stuff...She still hasn't figured out that I am a CD...Have been, off and on since childhood (Loved wearing moms high heels and stockings) I'm about to be gifted a pair of pink undies for my 66th birthday next Tuesday by a woman friend...I love this...Maybe the wife will be in on this with me some day...I sometimes feel like a freak, living a lie...This place makes me feel better..Thanks Jackie

[Paulacder]

I have ben pushing the envelope all my life, I'm constantly thinking of ways to inhanse (sp.) my fem. side. Pierced ears, totally shaved and very tan legs, painted toes, toe ring, anklet. Always wearing ladies shorts and top with ladies sandals. Dressing like this in male mode is the norm for me.

[DonnaT]

There is no “envelope.” That is a myth. . . . In my case, I refuse to become what the world calls “normal,” living outside the imaginary envelope that hinders imagination…
:battingeyelashes:
If there is no envelope how can you know you are living outside it? :p

[donnatracey]

Let's see (all in the past 18 months): regular pedis with painted nails, clear on finger nails, plucking eyebrows, shaved legs/arms, fem shorts/tops while walking, eye shadow/mascara and lipstick. Yes, I am slowly stretching that envelope, whether real or imagined.. :heehee::heehee:

[kimdl93]

I find that over time I've allowed myself to push the boundaries a bit in public. Wearing sandals with 3" heels, women's tops, some make up and ear rings. It was pointed out that the ambiguity may be striking some people as confusing...that maybe I should just go fully en femme and I'd blend in more readily. Still haven't mustered that courage, however.