Girl or Gurl

[Anne2345]

Since joining the forum earlier this year, I have noticed that some members use "girl" to reference their self or others, and some use the term "gurl." I understand and "get" the term "gurl," but for some reason, it bothers me.

Obviously, a MtF crossdresser is not technically a "girl." Although this is an incontrovertible truth, I prefer to refer to myself as a "girl" while en femme. And by "en femme," I need not be physically dressed for the part . . .

I assume the genesis of the term "gurl" is the combination of "guy" and "girl." In the event I am correct, this is the root of the problem that I have with the term "gurl." It is too close to "guy," and incorporates the same within its term.

I am a crossdresser. I crossdress both physically and psychologically to leave my masculinity behind. While en femme, it is my intent to abandon completely the trappings and constraints of my male self. I seek and desire femininity, to the absolute exclusion of masculinity.

As such, the term "gurl," even though I believe I understand it, incorporates too much masculinity. At the very least, in my opinion, it acknowledges masculinity. This is an acknowledgement I prefer not to make. It is one that I strive to foresake while en femme.

Am I totally off base here? Am I looking too deeply into an otherwise innocuous, innocent, and descriptive term? Considering myself a "girl" brings me great joy and comfort. Substituting "girl" for the term "gurl" - less so. How do you view the differences between the two terms, if at all? Or does it even matter to you?

[Angiemead12]

Hey Anne, Im not really bothered by the two. Maybe some girls just like using it as a slang to girl?

[VioletJourney]

I've seen plenty of teenage girls refer to themselves as "gurls". Sometimes people spell things different just for fun.

I don't have a problem with the term. It helps give us a unique identity as crossdressers separate from GGs and that works better in some situations.

[kelly1818]

Usually when I refer to myself, I use gurl instead of girl. I've always been in the habit of doing this because it defines a different dimension of femininity perhaps. I don't think it's negative in any way, nor do I think it implies any less femininity than girl, it's just different I guess. Oddly enough, I never really thought about where the term gurl came from, and I wouldn't have thought about it being a combination of guy and girl. Whenever I go out in gurl mode, I lose all aspects of my masculinity (at least all those which can be easily lost...lol). When it comes down to it, I think it's all a matter of personal preference, but for me, there's not a great divide between the two and I usually go with gurl, which I think is actually cuter and a little bit more feminine.

[Chickhe]

I always wondered about that term... Searching the net, I found it is a real word (obsolete) meaning young guy or girl. But, today, does it not have a slang meaning of something like G URL? Like a Girl URL link... sort of like you are a virtual girl? Or it could be even simpler than that and its just a slang way of saying girl with more 'u' sound in it.

[suzy1]

I just thoght it was anuther membre whose speling was as bad as myne.
And that’s bad!

SUZY

[JavaJunkie]

omg no! it's a cute way of spelling an otherwise boring word.....the same way you is u......you're is ur, girl for semi formal, gurl if you wanna be cute. It's just another way of talking cute since you can't hear us then we have to express it through words......or thru......I blame text messages lol.

[RachelOKC]

The word girl when applied to grown women these days tends to come across as sexist, so I'd call that as a big reason for the alternative spellings. They seem to be a modern feminist spelling that indicates something hip, alternative, or independent about either the user or the subject. Grrl is another example and strikes me as a bit clearer in meaning than gurl.

I couldn't find much on the etymology of the word gurl, but I first noticed the usage online in the mid-90's and it's become commonplace since. I doubt there's any real specific meaning other than what I mentioned above.

I'll sometimes refer to *myself* as "feeling like a girl" or being in "girl mode" but I don't think I ever use girl as a label for other adults and I stopped using the term GG about a decade ago. Still say "tranny" though...that pisses a few people off. ;)

[Vickie_CDTV]

To be honest, the idea of "gurl" being a portmanteau of "girl" and "guy", or it had some kind of special meaning, never occurred to me until now. I just assumed it was another 133t, kewl way the young folks talk online.

[sterling12]

It cuts down on misunderstandings. Most with brains bigger than Walnuts, have figured out we are referring to TG persons when we use The Term "Gurl." (Sorry, Transmen...not you!) Trust me, there have been occasions around here when "Girl" and "Gurl" got used in The same Posting. Sometimes in The Same Paragraph! It's a fairly simple way for The Reader to understand whom exactly that The Writer is referring to.

So after a while, it becomes part of an acceptable language/jargon set used around here. No offense intended for anyone, "No Harm....No Foul!"

Peace and Love, Joanie

[kimdl93]

I think of myself as a girl. Gurl...its nothing to me.

[Stacey Summer]

I sort of agree with Anne in that I'm uncomfortable describing myself as a "Gurl". As with Anne, when I dress, especially when I go the whole nine yards, I do so to leave all things masculine behind, I walk differently, even without heels, my mannerisms change too. I do not feel that the term is in any way offensive though.

I don't know the origin of the term but it seems to me that it originated in the U.S. No racist connotations attached to that, just that Americans spell words how they sound. I.E Mom, Color, etc and maybe the term has become synonymous with CDs.

[Cynthia Anne]

Gee! I'm more confused then I was after reading all the replys! Suzy's proberly right here! Although I thunked it was a big ugly hairy creature that stands upright! Like a gurl-rilla!!!!

[Gina X]

I don't really like the term Gurl very much reminding me too much of female impersonaters and the guy/girl portmanteau much prefering girl but I quite often refer to a group of GG's as Guys but until now hadn't really thought if it bothered them, so do GG's find it offensive ??

[Nicole Erin]

"Gurl" sounds like some drag queen. Kind of like "Trahnny"

[Karren H]

I so hate "gurl" as bad a "hun".

[renee k]

I so hate "gurl" as bad a "hun".

I agree with Karren, I really don't care for the term either. As I recall there was a thread on this subject awhile back.

Renee

[BLUE ORCHID]

I so hate "gurl" as bad a "hun".

Hi Karen You better stay away from Baltimore Maryland because it's the HUN capital of the world
just last month we had a a HUN fest here.

I don't care for gurl I like to be called a LADY.

Orchid

[eluuzion]

I must admit that is not one of the top items on my problem list.:heehee:

I view it similar to Sterling...just an attempt for the poster to clarify "who is who" or "who is what", :D

Sometimes I initially have a difficult time figuring out who is posting...a GG or TG or TS or TM or invisible friend, etc :heehee:
Many GGs do include the GG on their avatar which helps. Not a major crisis for me. I have only been confused a few times...just sayin'...

Anything that clarifies who people are in posts is ok with me. (except for that third person reference to self stuff, lol)

:love:

[sissystephanie]

I am old enough and have been a CD long enough not to be bothered by words used as labels!! I am a man who dresses because I like the fit, feel, and look of feminine clothes. I do not dress to become a woman, as I have no desire to be one!! I am a man no matter what clothing I have on, and the Good Lord willing will always be that way. I only care about being called properly when it is time to eat, or get paid!! LOL

[Jillian Faith]

I'm with Anne and Stacey! When dressed I strive to be completely feminine and leave any masculine traits, habits and mannerisms behind. I'm Jill not her evil twin brother and Jill is definitely a GIRL not a gurl.

[Badtranny]

Gosh, this has got to be way, way down on the list of things that I would ever worry about.

It's just a harmless way of separating the real from the TG, a kind of shorthand;

My BFF is planning a girl's weekend in Vegas in a couple of months and we're all very excited. I will be the only gurl, but the weekend will be full of girl talk and chasing boys with my girls.

On the other hand, I'm also planning to go to Sparkle again this year because I want to see my gurls and that's the only place I get to see some of them.

You see, you know exactly what I'm talking about even though all I did was change a single letter.

How can that be offensive?

[Rachel Morley]

I get what you're saying. When dressed and presenting as female we (I do anyway) don't like being reminded that I am not all that I feel I am. For myself, I don;;t mind gurl but much prefer girl. It's the same in boy mode for me too. I really don't like referring to myself as a "m" "a" "n". If I have to use a gender specific way to describe myself I prefer to use guy or boy. Anyway, I totally get where you're coming from. Some might say it's a reality I have to deal with but I prefer to stay mentally "in the zone" (in the fantasy?) than be reminded that I'm not genetic.

[Frédérique]

As such, the term "gurl," even though I believe I understand it, incorporates too much masculinity. At the very least, in my opinion, it acknowledges masculinity. This is an acknowledgement I prefer not to make. It is one that I strive to foresake while en femme.

Acknowledging ANY masculinity is something I seek to avoid, even though my inherent femininity has a lot of “male” in it. Ignoring that unalterable fact just may diminish the “boy,” but I’m a little more tolerant these days. However, if I’m dressed as a “girl,” I do not want HIM anywhere around – it takes a lot effort to be an exclusionist, you know...


Am I totally off base here? Am I looking too deeply into an otherwise innocuous, innocent, and descriptive term? Considering myself a "girl" brings me great joy and comfort. Substituting "girl" for the term "gurl" - less so. How do you view the differences between the two terms, if at all? Or does it even matter to you?

I HOPE you’re totally "off base"! :heehee:

I hadn’t really thought about it, but, after reading your explanation, and after wiping away a tear, I must say I agree with your assessment. These things DO matter to me, but, at this point in time, I feel a bit odd describing myself as a “girl,” or a representation of a girl, even though that little four-letter word makes me feel young. There are a lot of latent expressions vying for attention within me, but the end product, meaning what the world sees, is definitely a girl, not a “gurl.”
:battingeyelashes:

[Gaby2]

I so hate "gurl" as bad a "hun".Can't resist Miss Quoting: think how someone who lives in Germany reads this (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_terms_used_for_Germans#Hun_.28derogatory.2 9)... :lol2:Gaby
I don't care much for the word "gurl" - it has always sounded strange to me too, Anne

[Eryn]

As far as I am concerned, we are all girls here, with the exception of the FtM guys!

[Jason+]

If I were inclined to claim either title I'd have to side with girl. As far as the original intent of the alternate spelling I believe Joanie is on the mark there.

[Dr.Susan]

I rather be known as what I am, a CDer and not girl or gurl. I'm not trying to fool anyone, including myself.

[Anne2345]

The word girl when applied to grown women these days tends to come across as sexist, so I'd call that as a big reason for the alternative spellings.


These things DO matter to me, but, at this point in time, I feel a bit odd describing myself as a “girl,” or a representation of a girl, even though that little four-letter word makes me feel young.

In the context of crossdressing, as it applies to me, I view the term “girl” as neither “sexist,” nor “odd.” As Freddy stated, using the term “girl” does offer the added benefit of perceived youthfulness, but it is more than this for me.

I do not seek a return to my childhood, or desire to consider myself a “youthful” girl, but I do believe strongly in the innocence of being a girl (or a boy, for that matter). Such innocence to me portrays a state of mind bereft of the negative aspects of socialization. It implies to me an open mindedness where one’s imagination is the limit, where the narrow minded expectations and beliefs of others cease to exist, and where I may be free to be me without a second thought of negative consequence. It also implies to me a sense of wonder and amazement of exploration and evolution sans judgment by a society that has very little understanding of us. Both adult women and men are corrupt in some fashion or another. I am also corrupt in some regard as a result of my membership within society. I strive for an innocent femininity, a femininity that is not corrupt. The word “girl” fits the bill for me, and I take great joy in considering myself a “girl” when I am able to do so.


Gosh, this has got to be way, way down on the list of things that I would ever worry about.
It's just a harmless way of separating the real from the TG, a kind of shorthand;
. . . .
How can that be offensive?

Please do not misunderstand me! I take no offense at the term “gurl!” I seek merely to understand it, and satiate my own curiosity! I am not particularly worried about it, either. I desire only to give my opinion, and to seek further understanding on the question I have posed! Nothing more, nothing less!


When it comes down to it, I think it's all a matter of personal preference, but for me, there's not a great divide between the two and I usually go with gurl, which I think is actually cuter and a little bit more feminine.

This is a fantastic answer, Kelly! The explanation you provided had not occurred to me. As I said above, I am not offended by the term, I just do not prefer the term when referencing or thinking about myself. Regardless, whether one thinks of one's self as a "girl" or "gurl," or simply a crossdresser without further designation, we are all blessed with the same gift, and this is all that matters in the end! I love the way you think, Kelly!


I HOPE you’re totally "off base"! :heehee:

Oh, I am off base, alright! And proud to be so! In fact, referencing your earlier thread on perversion, it would be more than fair to say I am an off base pervert!


I rather be known as what I am, a CDer and not girl or gurl. I'm not trying to fool anyone, including myself.

I am a crossdresser! This is an incontrovertible truth! I also am not trying to fool anyone, including myself. I am, however, attempting with all my heart to be who I am. Although biologically I am not a “girl,” I am very much otherwise a “girl,” and I love this about myself!

[TG-Taru]

something like G URL? Like a Girl URL link... sort of like you are a virtual girl? Or it could be

Girlie Uniform Retailer Locator? :D :devil:

Personally I prefer being a girl rather than a gurl. Unless a distinction is for some reason needed and meant. I won't lose sleep or peace of mind over it.

Calling people girls or boys in a friendly way is, to my mind, perfectly fine and nothing to get automatically upset about. The tone and manner should indicate if it's friendly or a belittling insult. Sensitivity to that can of course be different for some areas, groups and cultures - the other party might well not be aware of that though.

[Adrienne Heels]

I prefer to be a girl!

[BillieJoEllen]

I've been (in my mind) a girl/woman all my life.

[Kittykitty]

To me, it has a ring of marginalizing the TS community and is the equivalent of putting women in quotation marks = "women." There is no need to differentiate ourselves from cisgender women, and no need to casually explain or reference someone by saying they were born with a birthdefect.

[Alice Torn]

It is no big deal to me. Live and let live, on this. Splitting hairs. To me, it is only to not confuse someone By using gurl, it lets them know, i am not a real girl.

[t-girlxsophie]

I thought "gurl" was just another one of these Language break downs we get on here from time to time

Sophie

[Valerie Nova]

I dunno, I always figured "gurl" was the counterpart to "boi". As in, just a weird way of spelling it that acknowledges there might be some gender-bending involved. Never used the term myself, but it doesn't bother me in the slightest.

[Torrey]

I was kinda with Sophie on this until I read your post, Anne. You make a great point, and obviously some do it consciously, while others take the text-speak-cute approach. In any case, I, too, want nothing to detract from my femininity. Life is all about perception, and our's doubly so, right?

Good topic.

Hugs,
Torrey