Going Out - Confidence Boost Needed

[claire_jyn]

Hi all, first I would like to apologise for my lack of communication on the forum recently

I am planning an evening out tonight, and would really like some confidence boosting. I have been out in the car occasionally, get to a location, and then just freeze when it comes to getting out of the car and having a little walk around.

I just wondered if anyone could give me some tips on how I can break free from the confines of the car and enjoy the experience.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Luv Claire

[Stephanie Brooks]

Hi Claire!

Here's what I do. Much of it is mental preparation.

I decide what I'm going to do for the evening, well in advance. I don't try to make things complicated, I don't try to do everything. It's Cinderella going to the ball, not to the ball, dinner, shops, movie, coffee, bar, et al. Then I envision myself doing it.

When I'm dressing and doing makeup, I transform from Steve to Stephanie. I don't try to translate from male to female, I think female. By the time I'm dressed, I'm all girl.

Going out the door is the toughest part. I'm Stephanie at that point. I look female, I feel female, I look as attractive as I can, I feel great. I don't have my period. I need to protect myself against pregnancy. I need to be alert to things, and I need to know I'm doing nothing wrong. I have things I want to do - a movie, music club, whatever - and I just go. The door closes behind me, and the fears are no longer relevant.

For the rest of the time I just focus on what it is I want to do, just as I would if it was Steve. Okay, Steve doesn't wear dresses, :D , but it's Stephanie, not Steve.

While out I'm always a little concerned about passing and being read, but I stick to reasonably safe venues and situations. Real safety issues are minor usually.

Above all, I have fun. If you're not having fun, then you need to try to ask yourself why. Are you just a bit nervous, or are you in a dangerous situation? Are you a bit disappointed the young woman sales clerk read you and smiled or are you concerned about the blokes following you? Always allow yourself the option to return home early.

When I return, I celebrate. I don't go out often, about once a month. Typically I have a bottle of bubbly chilled and ready to pop. I hang out for awhile before changing back.

Hope this helps! I hope you have a good time out tonight. Let us know how it goes.

*BIG WARM HUGGLES*

[DonnaT]

Hi Claire,

You know, you've a pretty good shape, from what I can tell, and it appears that you could pass pretty well just walking around.

If you saw me, you'd say "Damn, if she can I can!" because I don't pass well at all at 5'9" and 230 lbs.

It's all a matter of mental preperation. Either "I can pass, no problem." or "I don't give a damn what anyone else thinks, I need to do this for me."

Once you get out of the car and straighten your dress out, just start walking (after making sure you have your keys). You don't have to interact with anyone, just smile.

[Deidra Cowen]

Plan your outfit, makeup, which wig etc. Make the outfit fit what you are doing. Going shopping? I'd suggest blending in with a conservative outfit. Going Clubbing? Maybe something a little wilder so you will be insinc with the crowd at the bar.

When getting ready to leave double check for money, keys, orginize your purse and most importantly double check your outfit and look in the mirror several times.

If you find a problem fix it! Lets say you have a run in your panty hose and you are running late. Just be late! Take the time to make sure everything is right so u will not be paranoid about something all night.

Head out to the car. Remember little things like having your keys handy to get right in the vehicle. Already have your route and parking plans worked out. When you get to where you are going. Check your face in the mirror...make sure all is well. Again carefully make sure you have keys, money, purse all that worked out.

Get out of the car, concentrat on your femmy walk. Try to smile and look confident and start walking! When you get to where you are going have fun!

[Angela Burke]

Hi Clair!
I think Stephanie says it all.
Well posted Steph.

Love Angela XX

[claire_jyn]

Thank you for all your advice ladies - that is great.

I am just getting ready as I write this message - will soon be stepping out of the door enfemme :)

Have a great evening everyone.

Claire

[Sophie Haworth]

Claire.

I hope all went well and you report back.

I did post this back in April this year, and I have only dressed once since, and not been out since, probably will at some time though.

It is the story of my first time out for years, and some of the emotion that was taking place.

The only thing that prevents me from going out and closing the door behind me is being read and this breaks the "spell" for me.

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=7617

[Stephanie Brooks]

The only thing that prevents me from going out and closing the door behind me is being read and this breaks the "spell" for me.
Hi Sophie!

Problem is that if we interact with the public, we're going to be read. We're not built like women. We don't sound like them, we're not shaped like them, we're not raised like them. Unless you're mostly shaped like a woman and are a transsexual dedicated to presenting strictly as a woman, you're going to be read. It's how we react when we're read that matters, I think.

There was a woman who read me in a camera shop a few years ago. I was dropping off film to be developed, I was dressed, and she read me. I might have passed if I hadn't needed to talk, but c'est la vie, non?

I picked up the pictures the next day in drab, and she was gracious, even to the point of inviting me back to the store en femme.

Okay, I was read. And okay, not every time will be as pleasant. In this case I'd argue the magic was far better than if I'd not been read.

[GypsyKaren]

You have to go out with the understanding that you very well could be read. The thing is, it's not the end of the world, and the sun will come up tomorrow. It's happened to me, I was polite and friendly about it, so were they, and that was the end of it. Stephanie is quite right, we're just not the same as gg's. Once you accept this, things will go much easier for you.

GypsyKaren

[claire_jyn]

Hi yer, thank you once again for your kind words.

Unfortunately, I could not get out last night, bit of a long story... I was all ready too. All is not lost however, as I plan to go this evening instead.

I will let you all know how I get on.

Take care everyone and have a good evening yourselves.

All for now.

Claire

[Stephanie Brooks]

Hi yer, thank you once again for your kind words.

Unfortunately, I could not get out last night, bit of a long story... I was all ready too. All is not lost however, as I plan to go this evening instead.

I will let you all know how I get on.

Take care everyone and have a good evening yourselves.

All for now.

Claire
Hey Lady, I'll be thinking about you. I'm about to go out myself. ^_^

[claire_jyn]

Hi everyone, I hope you are all having or have had a nice weekend?

I wanted to let you know that I went out last night for a little drive and, yes, before you ask, I had a walk too. I must admit it was very difficult to get out of the car, but I did it - so exciting :) I didn't walk far, but I feel like I have made a step in the right direction.

I know how must you all like pictures, so I have attached a small picture taken last night, a couple of hours before I went on my lil adventure.

Claire

[Denise01]

Hi Claire

Congratulations on your outing and I hope you enjoyed it very much.

Living near a small rural village, and a distance to a large town or city, i am not able to go out much at all unless i am away from home.

Your picture is very elegant, and I am sure any one that saw you, would only take you for the Lady you are

Chat Later

Denise

[Stephanie Brooks]

Congratulations Claire!!!!! You look great!!!!!!! I'm glad things went well.

[DonnaT]

That's great Claire, one step leads to another, and soon you'll be, clubbing? But honestly, from your phot, you've nothing to worry about.

[Phoebe Reece]

Very nice Claire! I agree with Donna, from that photo I can see you could go anywhere without a worry. Keep it up girl!

[Sharon]

Congratulations, Claire! You always look so pretty in your photos, we sometimes forget that it's a huge step to move outdoors for the first time for all of us. I know I'm still dealing with it as I go to different places.
I hope you keep on posting about future excursions. Just be careful out there.:)

[claire_jyn]

Hi everyone, I hope you are all well and enjoying your weekend. What do you all have planned?

Thank you once again to those of you who posted messages, they are great.

I am planning another little adventure tonight, nothing much, just a drive and walk (similar to last time.) I would really like to try and make my walk last a little longer this time, rather than a few brief steps away from the security of my car.

Wish me luck...

Take Care

Claire

[Holly]

Well, Claire, I'll wish you luck, but I really don't think that you will need it! You are a fine looking lady. Hold your head high... and smile! You will be just fine!

[Stephanie Brooks]

Hi Claire!

Good luck!!!!!! We'll be thinking of you. It will go fine. :thumbsup:

[michellejean]

claire: from what i can tell you are doing just fine .....you realy look nice girl so don,t stop now. i would say "yes" you can pass.

[Shannon]

Claire -- congratulations on getting out and having a nice little walk. I am very happy for you.