keeping control

[Jane P]

This excerpt came from a thread about quitting.

As far as the question goes. I would not say that I am actively trying to quit. I am actively trying to understand what it is that makes me have these desires and I am actively trying to keep these urges under control. I am finding the diversity of experience among the forums membership quite helpful in this regard.

So things pretty much remain the same,I am still trying to abstain from crossdressing . For the most part this has not been a problem, but then I have a day like today (not that it is an unusual day) other than this inexplicably strong urge to be (feel) feminine. It is most annoying ! I hope by telling someone about it , some tension will be relieved.

p.s. I didn't know if this would be the right place to post this so if it isn't ..... sorry

John

[Eryn]

Abstention isn't difficult. Just don't dress today. Tomorrow, don't dress again. You can go on like this just about forever.

However, this does not address the underlying desire. This isn't nearly so easy. Abstaining and being happy seems to be impossible for many of us so we've decided upon a different path that better addresses our needs.

[Jane P]

I'm not sure about abstention , but abstinence , some days , takes every ounce of strength I can muster. Most days it isn't a problem and most days I am content , if not happy, that I am a guy and not expected to do all the things it takes for a woman to look beautiful. Other days there is that craving to do all those things.

Anyways .... I made it through that day and the next and I'll make it through another . I have my reasons not to dress but I am still greatful that this place exists so that I too may work through my inner turmoils .

Thanks,
John (Jonnie

[GaleWarning]

Every time I liken crossdressing to alcoholism, I get shot down in flames. Your post, John, is refreshing!
I have no idea why you HAVE to abstain, but wish you all power in your struggle to refrain.

[Jane G]

Jonnie, I don't know how long you have been crossdressing or how young you where when you started. There are many colours on the cross dressing scale but for sure I no of not one person that started crossdressing at a young age that has ever stopped.

I think it might be different for those who start later in life. Many men dabble at some point in there lives and it's just a bit of fun with a girl friend and doesn't go any further. But once you have made that decision to discover the feminine side of your life, it's almost certainly the case that you will always hanker after knowing just a little more and understanding who you are. Why else would you be on here.

[Jane P]

I am here because I am a crossdresser, and I've had these feelings for 35 to 40 years. I doubt they will go away and if my wife were into it I'd love to play. Right now I have a 5 year old son who I need to try my best to be a role model to.
As far as understanding who I am , I understand that this "is" part of who I am but I don't want it to define me.

[Krista1985]

I wish you luck in keeping things under control,

You have good reasons for doing so, and I think you'll be successful. I'm seeking some similar accord with my own dressing. I want it to be something I do for fun, on my own terms and only at times and locations of my choosing. Like you, I don't want to be defined by CD'ing, I'd much rather control it than allow it to control me. But as you and I know, the desire works on it's own terms. Usually the strongest desire comes up at the worst time. I don't have any answers or solutions, but I can say that I know where you are coming from and what you are up against. Best wishes!

[Karren H]

If your trying to quite then you really need to stay away from here. Imho. Its like an alcoholic participating on a drinking forum? Just sayin.

[Fab Karen]

Like being an "ex-gay" you might abstain, but you can't remove the desire.

[Shelly67]

Why not turn the desire to dress , but abstaining from it into a pleasurable torture of an "itch you can't quite scratch " . I sometimes feel having little or no chance to dress , the ache of wanting to become enfemme almost as pleasurable as the act itself . It doesn't go away , but certainly shouldn't be consuming and contolling . I've noticed over time it seems to calm down , but then in a flash it returns with a vengence. Teasingly addictive .

[Jane P]

Well I'm not trying to quite any more than I'm trying to avoid voting, but I am touched by the warm fuzzy feeling I get by folks who don't think I belong here. I will take that as a compliment. It is not my intention to convince others to quit , I have not said I am trying to quit. I am trying to control my actions regarding certain feelings that exist in my own life. This place, believe it or not, helps me do that.

[Cheryl T]

If I had a dime for every time I tried to quit...
AND all my clothes back that I purged...

I would need a much bigger house for the clothes...but I could afford it with all those dimes....LOL.

Now I just shop and buy and build bigger closets....for my clothes.