Tara D. Rose
07-11-2011, 11:27 PM
I know there have been many threads about getting caught in some form or the other. I have read many post’s on here of the many different ways each of us have been caught or found out, etc. And some of us on here have shared so many unique stories about how they were caught or found out when they were very young.
When I was very young around 4 through 15 years old, I was never caught. I was always so very careful. I guess I thought I was good. Well while I was in my second marriage, beginning at the age of 33, this marriage went on till I was 49. As some of you may remember from some of my earlier post’s, that at that time, we had a separate home 50 miles away and I would go there every weekend and the year was 1997. It was during this time that I realized the dangers of cross dressing. Those dangers not necessarily apply to all of us, but to some here it just may. For there was a thread 3 days ago or more about a crossdresser being unhappy with it all. Like progressing from just panties on the weekend, and then promoting to wearing them everyday, to wigs, make up, nails, eye lashes, and the cycle does continue to progress constantly. Maybe we are all in that progressing cycle. I know I was way back in 1997. It was like the more I did, the more I wanted. I grew tired of just dressing at that private home with the 20 acres of total privacy. I would walk the land en femme and felt so free. That was good for about 4 months. I would turn on music and would dance. I would dance provocatively and would strip like a woman at a strip club. And I would film it all on my VHS recorder, long before DVD's came out. Then that quickly progressed to wanting to go riding out and about as Tara. Not quite sure what I was looking for at that time.
I could hardly wait for the weekend so I could drive ever so swiftly 50 miles away so that I could indulge in this secret that I kept from all and everyone. I bought wigs, panties, heels, hose, skirts, dresses, etc. And week after week I continued to live that double life. And the more I dressed, the more the endorphins continued to take me over. I thoroughly enjoyed my time there every weekend for about a year. And so each weekend things began to change. I, at that time couldn’t understand it all and what was happening to me. This was at a time when the internet wasn’t even the internet. At that time it was called the “information highway”. It was just a little story in the news about what was to come in the future, and so I was all alone in this thing of cross dressing and my desire to want more and more. I never seemed to be happy enough with what I had, I wanted more. And with that, I would drive towards our second home and would stop at a video store to rent movies. This was a time before DVD’s. I would rent ******* videos, 5 and 8 of them. I would go to our out of town home and would get all dolled up and would watch these ******* video’s and I would get so turned on from watching them. I know that my dressing released endorphins as well as watching the video’s compiled on top of that. And from that, I began to want more. I would be drinking on top of all of this. And yes, there was self gratification as well. And I thought I could be content with just this. But no, I wanted more. I was all dressed one Saturday night away from anywhere and I , in a drunken stupor, would take off in a desperate effort to try to find someone that would want to be with a girl like me. I hunted and searched but all in vain. I wanted to replicate what I had seen in those VHS movies. I was mad with desire and hungry with lust. And so on this particular night, I was going down this long , long country road at about 2 am, dressed to the nines like a ****, when coming towards me, was a cop. He saw my speed, and he threw the blues. Then desperately I gunned my car, for I wasn’t going to jail dressed like this. My home was just 2 miles away on this road. Taking my car to around a hundred MPH, I slammed on breaks and turned down my drive, which was about 80 yards long. I jumped out in all this wooded darkness and watched the county cop roar right passed me. I knew then, that I was lucky. I learned that night that I need to stop what I was doing, for I had it all going on for me at that time. Why, I wondered and pondered the rest of the night why I was feeling the way I was feeling? Why have all of these craving come about? I have never been this way before. What have I done to myself? And so in fear of losing all that I had at that time. On the next morning, I loaded all of Tara’s clothes, and threw them in the trunk. I headed towards home and stopped at a corner dumpster. I held those clothes in my hands for about 5 minutes just staring at them. I then chunked them in to the refuse container. I prayed all the way home for that hour to turn me away from all of this. It was tearing me apart. But, in my trunk, I had one video of all of my own personal private sessions on that video. I got home and put the video in the top of our closet. My step daughter upon wanting to come back and live with my wife and I, I told her the rules, #1 that she not socialize with the neighbors next to us, and #2, that she is to never go into our bedroom if we are not home. My wife at that time respected my privacy as well as I did hers.
Well so one day, when I was unemployed, my step daughter would say to me, “daddy don’t you need to go pay your child support?” I would take off to pay the court system, but I quickly learned that she was reminding me to take off so that she could meddle in our bedroom. And so one day I came home and looked in the closet for that tape after I had been away and that tape was gone. I looked frantically for it. But to no avail. My wife got home later on that day, and I went up to the corner store to get a drink, and when I returned home, I walked in and my wife was asleep on the couch, and I noticed there was a VHS video on her chest. I walked up silently and picked it up and looked at it. I noticed it was the video that I was looking for earlier. It turned out that my step daughter at that time and snuck into my bedroom rambling through stuff and grabbed that tape and watched the whole thing while I was gone. Then later on she gave it to her mother, saying “mama” I think you need to see this”, What is it, her mother asked? It’s something you need to see. Her mom said ok. But my wife, her mother fell asleep. And so I confiscated it before she could view the tape. I destroyed the tape in the back yeard later that evening. I never heard another word about it at that time.
Then 14 years later, and living in another new home, my wife and I was in a bad place, arguing and talking of divorce. She then went into a rage, and said, do you wear my clothes? I said no, why do you ask something so stupid? Well she told me of what her daughter told her just 3 days earlier at that time. I admitted to a lot but I didn’t spill anything more than what I needed to. That wife and I are divorced now, She left me for another man.
When I caught her, I told her that I was going to let her parents know the truth. She countered with, “if you tell my parents I cheated on you. I’ll tell your children that you like to wear women’s clothes” I said, ok, I’ll keep your extra marital affair to myself. Then she said, I want $20,000 for me to keep your secret safe. I paid the BITCH off. But that was way back. If it happened now, I would just say, tell whoever you want.
I’m so glad that my wife at that time never really saw the video that was lying on her chest that night. Oh the humiliation I would have suffered. So my cross dressing has cost me 20 G’s. This is chapter one. I know this is very long, and so if any of my sisters on here want me to post chapter two, just let me know.
Love & respect….Tara
When I was very young around 4 through 15 years old, I was never caught. I was always so very careful. I guess I thought I was good. Well while I was in my second marriage, beginning at the age of 33, this marriage went on till I was 49. As some of you may remember from some of my earlier post’s, that at that time, we had a separate home 50 miles away and I would go there every weekend and the year was 1997. It was during this time that I realized the dangers of cross dressing. Those dangers not necessarily apply to all of us, but to some here it just may. For there was a thread 3 days ago or more about a crossdresser being unhappy with it all. Like progressing from just panties on the weekend, and then promoting to wearing them everyday, to wigs, make up, nails, eye lashes, and the cycle does continue to progress constantly. Maybe we are all in that progressing cycle. I know I was way back in 1997. It was like the more I did, the more I wanted. I grew tired of just dressing at that private home with the 20 acres of total privacy. I would walk the land en femme and felt so free. That was good for about 4 months. I would turn on music and would dance. I would dance provocatively and would strip like a woman at a strip club. And I would film it all on my VHS recorder, long before DVD's came out. Then that quickly progressed to wanting to go riding out and about as Tara. Not quite sure what I was looking for at that time.
I could hardly wait for the weekend so I could drive ever so swiftly 50 miles away so that I could indulge in this secret that I kept from all and everyone. I bought wigs, panties, heels, hose, skirts, dresses, etc. And week after week I continued to live that double life. And the more I dressed, the more the endorphins continued to take me over. I thoroughly enjoyed my time there every weekend for about a year. And so each weekend things began to change. I, at that time couldn’t understand it all and what was happening to me. This was at a time when the internet wasn’t even the internet. At that time it was called the “information highway”. It was just a little story in the news about what was to come in the future, and so I was all alone in this thing of cross dressing and my desire to want more and more. I never seemed to be happy enough with what I had, I wanted more. And with that, I would drive towards our second home and would stop at a video store to rent movies. This was a time before DVD’s. I would rent ******* videos, 5 and 8 of them. I would go to our out of town home and would get all dolled up and would watch these ******* video’s and I would get so turned on from watching them. I know that my dressing released endorphins as well as watching the video’s compiled on top of that. And from that, I began to want more. I would be drinking on top of all of this. And yes, there was self gratification as well. And I thought I could be content with just this. But no, I wanted more. I was all dressed one Saturday night away from anywhere and I , in a drunken stupor, would take off in a desperate effort to try to find someone that would want to be with a girl like me. I hunted and searched but all in vain. I wanted to replicate what I had seen in those VHS movies. I was mad with desire and hungry with lust. And so on this particular night, I was going down this long , long country road at about 2 am, dressed to the nines like a ****, when coming towards me, was a cop. He saw my speed, and he threw the blues. Then desperately I gunned my car, for I wasn’t going to jail dressed like this. My home was just 2 miles away on this road. Taking my car to around a hundred MPH, I slammed on breaks and turned down my drive, which was about 80 yards long. I jumped out in all this wooded darkness and watched the county cop roar right passed me. I knew then, that I was lucky. I learned that night that I need to stop what I was doing, for I had it all going on for me at that time. Why, I wondered and pondered the rest of the night why I was feeling the way I was feeling? Why have all of these craving come about? I have never been this way before. What have I done to myself? And so in fear of losing all that I had at that time. On the next morning, I loaded all of Tara’s clothes, and threw them in the trunk. I headed towards home and stopped at a corner dumpster. I held those clothes in my hands for about 5 minutes just staring at them. I then chunked them in to the refuse container. I prayed all the way home for that hour to turn me away from all of this. It was tearing me apart. But, in my trunk, I had one video of all of my own personal private sessions on that video. I got home and put the video in the top of our closet. My step daughter upon wanting to come back and live with my wife and I, I told her the rules, #1 that she not socialize with the neighbors next to us, and #2, that she is to never go into our bedroom if we are not home. My wife at that time respected my privacy as well as I did hers.
Well so one day, when I was unemployed, my step daughter would say to me, “daddy don’t you need to go pay your child support?” I would take off to pay the court system, but I quickly learned that she was reminding me to take off so that she could meddle in our bedroom. And so one day I came home and looked in the closet for that tape after I had been away and that tape was gone. I looked frantically for it. But to no avail. My wife got home later on that day, and I went up to the corner store to get a drink, and when I returned home, I walked in and my wife was asleep on the couch, and I noticed there was a VHS video on her chest. I walked up silently and picked it up and looked at it. I noticed it was the video that I was looking for earlier. It turned out that my step daughter at that time and snuck into my bedroom rambling through stuff and grabbed that tape and watched the whole thing while I was gone. Then later on she gave it to her mother, saying “mama” I think you need to see this”, What is it, her mother asked? It’s something you need to see. Her mom said ok. But my wife, her mother fell asleep. And so I confiscated it before she could view the tape. I destroyed the tape in the back yeard later that evening. I never heard another word about it at that time.
Then 14 years later, and living in another new home, my wife and I was in a bad place, arguing and talking of divorce. She then went into a rage, and said, do you wear my clothes? I said no, why do you ask something so stupid? Well she told me of what her daughter told her just 3 days earlier at that time. I admitted to a lot but I didn’t spill anything more than what I needed to. That wife and I are divorced now, She left me for another man.
When I caught her, I told her that I was going to let her parents know the truth. She countered with, “if you tell my parents I cheated on you. I’ll tell your children that you like to wear women’s clothes” I said, ok, I’ll keep your extra marital affair to myself. Then she said, I want $20,000 for me to keep your secret safe. I paid the BITCH off. But that was way back. If it happened now, I would just say, tell whoever you want.
I’m so glad that my wife at that time never really saw the video that was lying on her chest that night. Oh the humiliation I would have suffered. So my cross dressing has cost me 20 G’s. This is chapter one. I know this is very long, and so if any of my sisters on here want me to post chapter two, just let me know.
Love & respect….Tara