COGIATI and such

[GirlieAmanda]

I am wrestling with whether I am Transsexual or not a lot lately. The feelings have been growing stronger and stronger in the past year and I believe are a product of finally being free from all bonds. I recently found this COGIATI test. I scored a 220 for a classification 4 Probable Transsexual. I took the SAGE test too and it said the same thing essentially. I wonder how important is this test to the TS community and how accurate? I answered the questions with every ounce of honesty.

I really, deeply, know in the bottom of my heart that I would love to just become a female, if only a non-genetic one. My insides are almost pure feminine and my body reflects it more and more as I strip away the layers covering the femininity. The problem is that this society that we live in generally frowns upon that life. Therefore, I have conflicts. Do I really want to be a girl so much that I would force myself to live a probable hard life to become one? Its so sad that I have to have reservations. Gaining employment is the biggest hurdle I have. Family seems to be coming around. I have not posted on here really because I was not sure of how I felt. But I think I am going beyond being a "gurl" and yearning for something real. Again, I think the tests kinda confirmed my suspicions.

[Melody Moore]

I recently found this COGIATI test. I scored a 220 for a classification 4 Probable Transsexual. I took the SAGE test too and it said the same thing essentially. I wonder how important is this test to the TS community and how accurate?

Amanda, you don't need the COGIATI test to know if you are transsexual, if you look back at your whole life
& can see where & how you were different to males & more akin to females. What I see in you is your true
inner person finally coming out & that you are a person who wants to really be a woman. It sounds like you
are at that point that it avoiding the issue isn't going to be at all possible. But if you just know what waits
on the other side & stay focused, then it can become a hell of a lot easier to overcome those fears you have.

Society as a whole is not so bad anymore. There are pockets of bigotry that do exist & sometimes people
might laugh at you. But seriously, who cares? I know deep in my heart that I am honest & true to myself,
I have overcome hurdles that other people cannot even comprehend & my reward for this is the happiness
& freedom that I now cherish. I have new friends in my life that absolutely love me because of who I am.

You are lucky your family is coming around, they can be the most difficult. I have disconnected from
my family, but my real family are those true friends who really do love me & are always there for me.
I don't have to hide who I am, I am not judged & I am respected fully as a woman & not a transsexual.

And if I can do it, then I am 200% sure you can too. ;)

[Hope]

If you want my opinion the COGIATI is a steaming pile of dung. By it's own admission it is written by someone who has no training or experience in the science of diagnostic tool creation, or in gender issues. The questions are laughably transparent and stereotypical. The test has as much validity as the "Is your boyfriend a keeper?" quiz in the last issue of Teen Vogue. Zero, squat, nada.

Which is good honestly.

Because you don't need a test to answer this question for you.

What you need if yourself and your own experience. You will never decide that this is right for you - or even what parts of it are right for you. you will only come to know what is right for you through searching your feelings, being honest about who you are, and LOTS of experimentation. It isn't something you decide based on evidence and reason - it is something you eventually just know. It is something you realize about yourself. It is sort of the same way you know what jobs would be a good fit for you and which ones wouldn't be. It just feels right and matches with who you understand yourself to be. It is something that you KNOW despite every bit of concrete evidence pointing to the opposite conclusion.

Whether or not society frowns upon this life or not is not a part of the question. It may have something to do with how long you wait to get started on transition - but it has 0 to do with whether or not you are indeed transexual.

You will know because if it is who you are - you can't turn it off, you can't make it go away. No matter how hard you try. It will be something that will be with you, and probably always has been with you no matter how much you try to squelch it and stamp it out.

[Frances]

I don't know if the test is important to the community, but it isn't to me. I am not sure if there's a community for that matter. Therapy is where it's at.

[Aprilrain]

What Melody and Hope said. I took the test many month ago, I think it told me I was androgynous, that I might like to live as a female but not do anything more. OK whatever! I have always wanted a vagina but I didn't hate my penis or want to cut it off! I played with my sisters Barbies but i also played with GI Joe. Come to think of it I wouldn't mind playing with GI Joe right now! ; ) I think there are very few people who fit the classic transexual model, it is such an extreme case. I spent 5 years trying to convince my self that these feelings weren't valid, they certainly didn't make sense. Clearly I was a male, I only need look at my body to see that much. Body = gender right? the rest of the world can comfortably take such an assumption for granted because their bodies and minds match but for us such an assumption is torture. The problem is the Body = gender thing is really hard to cast off at least for me it is. Just like a lot of that Catholic BS I grew up with, but i digress. Follow your heart the good news is it takes at lest 2 years to complete a gender change or at least it probably should so there is plenty of time to say OK i think this is far enough or even go back though I don't think that typically happens. It seems that what usually happens is people see that they are indeed comfortable living as the target gender and want to progress further. I still struggle with self acceptance because this is indeed a hard life but I just look back and ask my self do I really want to go back to being a guy! there were so many things about being a guy that never made sense and I just couldn't stand the jealousy I felt toward woman anymore. Oddly enough In some ways I feel a little bit sorry for cisgendered folks now. Yes their lives are MUCH easier when it comes to gender but they will never fully understand the other. I don't fully understand either but I Know what its like to be both!

[Kaitlyn Michele]

April me too. I still love lots of guy stuff... I worried about this a lot... I read the cogiati tests buT never really took them seriously..

It seems to be a very common part of many ts "arcs" to question and question ..looking at finger sizes, comparing interests to others, comparing how often you thought of killing yourself and how much you hate your penis.. and these gender tests...

I hope you don't put credence in them. .. The reason the responses are so impassioned is because those tests hurt people by confusing the real issue

[Alicia Ryanne]

I took that test 2 years ago. It gave me a score initially of -5...androgynous. See a therapist..you might want to consider being a female. Ok....but..during the test there were several questions that I could have answered two different ways and both would be honest and valid for me. So...really..the test meant nothing. I took it again with answering those questions the other way and ended up with a 267..stage 4.
That test isnt accurate and you can easily see right through it. However, maybe in some way....someone stumbling upon it might actually get the strength to move forward and see a therapist.

I know now after lots of self questioning that I am very much transexual. BUT...I still enjoy "guy" things like flying model airplanes and such.
You should just go talk to a therapist. I did and still am and so very glad I am.

[Stephenie S]

Forget those silly tests.

Look into your heart. The answer is there.

S

[Maiko Newhalf]

Amanda,

I've been wondering about these things a lot lately and I think I understand what you are saying. Maybe the difference is that there's bond that I will never be "free" from. I hear those tests for the first time and cannot wait to take them. However, it seems my company blocked all CD/TS related website except this one and it's been awarded one of the most LGBT friendly companies for year. Anyways, talk about living a probable hard life.

I read many of your posts and you seem to be a brave girl. You'll be fine on no matter what choice you make. In the end, I think we have to make peace with everything in our lives, sooner or later. :)

Hugs,
Rose

[GirlieAmanda]

This is really helping much more than that test did. I guess I am a little brave but I have fears too. It just sucks that you have to bow to the man and get a job in this world to live. I am unemployed now and it actually feels great because I am free. I just know that I will have to get a job somewhere that is probably not going to be LGBT friendly most likely. I would love to find one that is OK with it. I just don't know where to begin. Its like I am existing in the great in between right now. I would hate the thought of just being a weekend or weeknight girl.

[Melody Moore]

I just know that I will have to get a job somewhere that is probably not going to be LGBT friendly most likely.

Amanda, if this is you in your photos, then I urge you to rethink your whole approach here.

First of all I think you see yourself as a transsexual & feel like a bit of a freak when it comes to trying to fit in to society,
don't worry it is quite common to feel this way & this is something we all do at some point in our transitional journeys.

Secondly, I am finding out that as transgendered people we do have rights, there is a lot more acceptance & tolerance
in society & that not everyone sees you as a freak. People have complimented me on my honesty & integrity for standing
up for myself & I can get a lot of people to now give me a reference into the type of character I am. But at this point of
time I am not looking for work because I have far too many doctor's & laser therapy appointments, meetings etc which will
impede on my ability to give any employer my 100% commitment at this point of time. So I am being a little more patient
& just taking one step at a time & working on all my feminisation issues, ESPECIALLY my voice. Communication is important
in pretty much all jobs & the way that I communicate now - everyone sees me as a female & doesn't seem to question my
gender identity. There is no need to reveal to any employer now that I am transsexual because I have changed all my ID
& other official documentation over to my new name & gender identity. So if I apply for a job it will be as a woman & not as
a man. So this is something else I urge you to think about if you want to really transition. This way you won't have the burden
of carrying a man around in your purse & that can be one huge weight off your shoulders. It is easier to fully transition when
you don;t have those reminders about your male past hanging around anymore in your life. So when I went full-time I burnt
so much crap, it is unbelievable & gave all my male clothes away to charity. Now I think & act like any other woman during
every single second of the day, even when I am asleep I now dream as a woman all the time & never see myself as a male
in a dream anymore - that would be a nightmare! LOL. Anyway stay focused on the good that you are now starting to reap
here, your happiness & freedom are so important here & never sacrifice any of that for anyone - it just is not worth it.

:hugs:

[Maiko Newhalf]

Oops...just did the SAGE test...I didn't expect this result!

Your Raw Score is: 410, which indicates that overall you are Androgynous

Your appearance is Androgynous

Your brain processes are mostly that of a Androgynous person.

You appear to socialize in a feminine manner.

You believe you have mild conflicts about your gender identity.

You indicated your were born Male.

ANALYSIS:
Male to Female Transsexual, who is a serious candidate for Gender Reassignment Surgery

[Maiko Newhalf]

Don't mean to threadjack here. But when I rethink about the SAGE test results, it does reveal something -- I socialize pretty much in a female pattern. I'm more comfortable being a moderator in a group, as oppose to a leader. It might have something to do with my childhood experience. However on the other hand for the things that I can do mostly on my own, I enjoy math, fixing cars, and adenverous experiences...Could it be the pressure of being a man or behaving like a man, have pushed me to want to experiment with my female side?

Armanda, I definitely see a strong female side in you from reading your stories. You also seems to be shy and passive when socializing, a lot like myself in this case. I just don't know if you sometimes also enjoy your guy mode? :)

[giuseppina]

I wouldn't give any online test the time of day. A duly qualified and experienced gender therapist can give you more information about real gender and candidacy for hormones and SRS than any of these nonsense tests can provide. Sorry to be blunt, but that is how I see it.

[Melody Moore]

I wouldn't give any online test the time of day.
x2

Neither would I, and if being diagnosed with GID was something so simple then regular GPs could have
you do such a test & diagnose you instead of going to all the trouble to see a pyschologist yeah?

There is a lot more to diagnosing & understanding your GID than such a test could ever determine.
So please stop wasting your time with these stupid online tests & go & get some proper help which
is unavoidable anyway. These tests won't ever prescribe you hormones, nor will they monitor your
hormone levels & your health. Nor can you talk to a test when you really do need proper support.

So please use some common sense, if you live & socialise as a female when you were born a male
then something is obviously not normal & there is a high probability that you could be a transsexual.

[Rianna Humble]

Just for fun, I did the SAGE test and got the exact same result as Sea Catch. Apart from the obvious contradiction where it starts by saying you are Androgynous and ends up saying serious candidate for GRS, there are other anomalies at least in my case.

I do not look Androgynous - no-one who sees me mistakes my gender

There are one or two androgynes who are active on this site and I don't relate very well to their thought patterns. I am not trying to say that I am better or worse than them, merely that we don't seem to think alike.

I do not believe I have mild conflicts about my gender identity - I know that my gender does not match my natal sex

Still, I guess 3 out of 7 isn't bad! They are right that I was classified male at birth, I do socialise in a more feminine manner and they are right that I am MtF seriously wanting GRS.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

here's what bothers me.. these tests don't help people...they HURT PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! pls pls if you are taking these tests and letting them impact you STOP!

[Alicia Ryanne]

Just for giggles, I went and searched for that sage test. Took it..answered the questions honestly...and it gave me a 655. Said I was female...duh...but also said "this test is confused if I was born male". Hows that for funny LOL

[Jessinthesprings]

I think for the most part these tests are viewed as a joke. Filled with sterotypes and assumptions on gender and sex. However, I am slightly less critical of them. While I do not feel that they are an answer to your questions I feel that they start you thinking about who you are and what direction you want your life to go... Just don't get trapped in that lable. Use this for some inner reflection and decide for yourself.

[NinefoldBloom]

I think for the most part these tests are viewed as a joke. Filled with sterotypes and assumptions on gender and sex. However, I am slightly less critical of them. While I do not feel that they are an answer to your questions I feel that they start you thinking about who you are and what direction you want your life to go... Just don't get trapped in that lable. Use this for some inner reflection and decide for yourself.

I definitely agree with the inner reflection. The biggest downfall of psychological testing is that they attempt to be a one-size-fits-all test. However, people are different. I've personally taken a lot of psychological tests. From both the COGIATI, the SAGE, the MMPI, and various other ones. I find them to sometimes be informative but they don't have anywhere near the complete picture and their wording or how you feel that day can heavily influence your results. Sometimes they can point you in the right direction. Sometimes, however, they can lead you astray.

[kelsey12]

Just follow your feelings, and do what you know is good for you I don't needed to take a test to tell me that I have but I think I was just looking for validation of who I am it just comes down to what you feel if you truly feel you are a women you are

[ReineD]

I wonder how important is this test to the TS community and how accurate? I answered the questions with every ounce of honesty.

The Cogiati test is not accurate. It's a fun online test that is biased in favor of gender stereotypes and it is easy to get any results you want, if you want them bad enough.

I agree with Melody, that you don't need this test to determine your gender. True determination will just take time, and also lots of practice living your life in the targeted gender. :)

You should maybe think about taking steps to see if you can position yourself in a career that will support transition.

[Schatten Lupus]

No online test can tell you who you are. Any such psychological test must be evaluated by a real person to have any validity, among other things. And even then, no test or person can tell you who you are.

[GirlieAmanda]

Thank you for all of the opinions. I figured the tests were just OK to almost not really serious. I think it is a good indicator that there may be an issue, but I already knew that. There are a couple of VERY compelling and I think kind of hit me very deeply.
1. You acquire an incredible power one that could make you change your sex to whatever you wish whenever. The change would be perfect in either form. What would you do with that power. I answered I would turn female and would not want to use the power again.

2. Your penis and testicles are destroyed in a horrible accident. You are otherwise without your sex organs. How would you deal with it. I answered honestly that I often wish that something like that would happen. ONLY because then it would clear me to be a female. There would be no more excuses. SRS was just done for me. Now hopefully I could have them save something for making a later vagina but if not, then still I would feel like that no one could say anything because being how I am already, I may as well just be a female. If I were all male, then it would be different but it would just make things more understandable I would hope. I think I would not feel conflicted anymore either. It would be like a sign.

3. A doctor offers you a way to be completely content as a male and have no more conflicts and never want to be female again. Would you do it? I answered I would not want such a treatment. I think this speaks volumes about me. Whatever people feel about the test, these are real deep questions that really get to the point. Some of the others a re kind of silly but these ones really struck me.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

amanda there is not one single question NOT ONE, that you could not simply ask yourself..

in the end, you need to consider much more important things outside of what you would do with super powers..i'm not kidding about this..
the second one is a common fantasy story on fiction mania..OMG i woke up and they turned me into a girl!!!


are you a woman or not? yes or no? that's the question...it's never really that simple but that's the bottom line, and that's why we take hormones, allow ourselves to get laughed at, tell our families at risk of losing them, risk our jobs

in the end, the huge list of things you will give up, the marginalization of your entire life by the society we live in, and sheer amount of financial cost and physical pain endured will shock you...
if it seems worth it to you , then all you have to do is try ..the answers are not in a test, they are in you..

more simply stated..
taking these internet tests doesn't answer your questions about yourself, it avoids them.

[Frances]

More simply stated... taking these internet tests doesn't answer your questions about yourself, it avoids them.

Excellent way of putting it! I wish there was a Like button on forum posts.

[Stephenie S]

"The problem is that this society that we live in generally frowns upon that life. Therefore, I have conflicts. Do I really want to be a girl so much that I would force myself to live a probable hard life to become one? Its so sad that I have to have reservations. Gaining employment is the biggest hurdle I have."

Amanda,

I want to speak to this issue. You seem to have a rather bleak view of transition. Now, while it is true that transition is expensive, time consuming, and occasionally painful, the results of finally being congruent in body and mind are UNBELIEVABLY rewarding. At this point in your life it can be hard for you to understand this completely, so please just take it on faith. Believe me dear. You have no idea now, I can tell. But if you are truly TG, the rewards are astounding.

Looking at your avatar, I cannot fathom why you think you would be unemployable. You are quite pretty.

PM me if you want to discuss this further, hon.

Stephie

[Jessica_Grl]

k, so i took this test and made a 200 ----- wooo

i also took the sAge test but only answered the last 40 questions and got a 355 score telling me i am also ready

yes i agree these tests are waist of time, but on the other hand some of the questions might actually open up other questions that you have not thought about previousily, -- in some cases we are just confused as you are in these circumstances but rest assured if you keep taking the test over and over and over and over again -- well you will score a perfect score eventually

:P

j/k --- but the tests do open up new questions -- specially for "US" "NEWER" group :)

but yes i agree -- dont take these tests and hold a grain of salt at the same time -- the single grain of salt might end up in the nasal passages and clog up your brain --- go see a therapist and leave the grain of salt @ home :)

[GirlieAmanda]

I am going to an LGBT community organization called PERSAD that supports people like us and guides us to specific therapists and provides resources. They are the second oldest organization like this in the country. They have treated me well already. Tomorrow I may begin my transition officially. Who knows. I may mention the tests just for kicks.

[Starling]

I wish you the best of luck, Amanda.

:) Lallie

[Kaitlyn Michele]

good luck amanda.

having a person you can talk to face to face is huge!!