So... what´s so good about it? ;)

[Suziecue]

Since Ive known about my SOs CD Ive always wondered why...
So I thought Id ask the same question here, trust me Im not trying to pick a fight ;)

My SO just has a hard time answering it, and I thought that maybe it could help him aswell to see what the rest of you think is so wonderful about crossdressing :)

So; what makes crossdressing so fantastic, why do you do it? And as I said before Im just curious, ok really nosy... but anyway I just wanna know cause I know nothing better than taking my bra off, so how come my SO cant wait to put his on?

:hugs:
/Suzie

[Karren H]

This just my opinion. From someone who is driven to crossdress. Not chooses to. But I accept that and embrace it but there is nothing good... It overly complicates my life. My relationships. Its expensive as hell. Being caught between two genders really sucks.... I'd settle for staying in one or the other in a heartbeat.. Either! I'm not choosy! Lol. Yeah I love makeup and fashion but I do not have a choice. Its either embrace it and move forward or set here and wallow in misery for the rest of my life. Probably not what your going to here. But it is honestly the way I feel.

[Eryn]

Suzie, that's an eternal question that many CDers themselves have difficulty with. There are also as many motivations behind crossdressing as there are crossdressers.

Imagine being in a world where half of the population enjoyed chocolate, there were chocolate shops on every corner, all around you the media pushed attractive images of chocolate, yet you weren't allowed any. There is no physical reason for this restriction, but society prohibits it. Chocolate eaters walk up to you licking their fingers and telling you how good the chocolate tastes but recoil in revulsion if you ask them for a taste. They blatantly display their enjoyment with no thought at all for the feelings of those who cannot partake. You cannot escape it, for the aroma of chocolate is everywhere and even some of the people in your home are chocolate eaters so there is always a supply around.

That's kind of what CDing is like for me. I see women wearing beautiful things and expressing themselves in so many wonderful ways both visual and verbal and want to be able to do the same thing myself. Society says that I must wear a very restricted range of clothing and colors and communicate only in a certain way with others.

Other men (and, for that matter, women) don't seem to have this desire but for some reason I'm saddled with it.

Oh, wearing a bra isn't terribly comfortable for me either, but like you I put up with it to maintain the appearance I desire. It does feel good when it comes off!

Hugs, Eryn

[Suziecue]

Great! Now I need some chocolate! And all of a sudden everything is so clear to me....without my chocolate what would I do!?!!! ;)

Thanks hun!

/Suzie

[joannemarie barker]

as you're a gg I can't really explain how exciting it is for me when I hoist a skirt up over my panties,it's like all my birthdays coming at once :)

[Always Susan]

My SO and I are the same with way she can't wait to get out of her's and I can't wait to get into mine. There are as many answers as there are menbers here. For me It's just feels right...the feminine part of me. What you might take for granted is a thrill for CDs like us. Bra's , panties, slips and gridles are for women and a way to express what I feel is my female side.
IMHO women should take it as a compliment that we are willing to expose our ture feeling in such a way. I guess it just feels natural which isn't really a answer after all.

[suzy1]

Suzie, I and meny others have asked themselves this same question.
I have crossdressed since I was 3 years old or as far back as I can remember.
But I still have no idea why. Not a clue.
The nearest I can come to an explanation is to say it’s a part of me and it gives me great pleasure. And on top of that I could never change that part of me anymore than I can give up breathing or eating. I am built this way.
I do go on a bit!

SUZY

[Alice B]

A lot of what Karren said applies to me also and Eryn's analogy is great. I'm kind of caught in a time warp. I love my male side and have lots of enjoyment being a male and being seen as such. But, that said I also love my time being dressed and look forward to it with a passion. I feel different, feel pretty (even if I'm not) and feel sexy when being Alice. I'm sure advertising through out my life had a role in this. I know I'm not a woman, but want to feel like one when I'm Alice. My wife understands and accepts this after considerable discussion, as long as I do not place her in an awkward situation.

I just got back from a month doing photography in Iceland. Not once did my desire to dress arise, but the moment I was back I went in and have my legs, arms and eyebrows waxed. And have my finger and toe nails manicured and toe nails painted. It make me feel good about myself and for the feeling that goes with it. Like your SO I can't provide an exact answer because I don't know it. I just know that the need to dress (fully) is something that I have to do and enjoy doing. Sure there is some sexual relationship applied to it, but at my age it is very minor and not a goal to dressing.

Acceptance by you is got to be extremely important for your SO and the fact that you've come to this site shows that you are trying to be just that. Accepting. Hugs to you.

[DonnaT]

The why of why we dress is quite complicated. Many start CDing for different reasons, but find once we've started it just felt right.

For example, I'm right handed, if I try to write with my left hand it just feels wrong, can't do it legibly. But with my right, it just feels right, and felt right from the beginning when I first started to write.

[Suziecue]

The why of why we dress is quite complicated. Many start CDing for different reasons, but find once we've started it just felt right.

For example, I'm right handed, if I try to write with my left hand it just feels wrong, can't do it legibly. But with my right, it just feels right, and felt right from the beginning when I first started to write.

Just a small question here :) Does everyone feel more at home when they are dressed or is it more like 50/50... hmm, maybe that didnt make much sence... My SO says that he enjoys both being a girl and beeing a guy, so is that the case for some of you too, or does the man-part feel like writing with your left hand?

[Cristi]

I think Eryn's post pretty much says it all. The most frustrating thing is the aspect 'We love chocolate but YOU can't have any. Not for any real reason, but just because those are the arbitrary rules'. Sometimes I think that if we could just have this conversation with everbody out there, the stigma of crossdressing would fade away overnight. It really is based on silly meaningless rules.

I don't think I've ever read where anybody has really been able to put a finger on the 'why'. The closest I think you can get is to come of with some similar feeling YOU may get from other activities.
Maybe imagine the feeling you get after a long day when you can sink into a hot tub for a soak?
The contentment of a quite afternoon with a cup of tea and a good book?
Pretty much anything you do that makes you go 'Ahhh... I really needed that'.
THAT is the feeling I get when I haven't had a chance to dress for a few day and finally get the opportunity to put on a skirt or dress and relax. Same feelings, just a different trigger.

Plus, I think that women DO get the same feeling. When it is a hot Summer day and they can put on a light Summer dress to be comfortable, they surely do enjoy the feeling it gives them (otherwise why would they do it?)... they just don't feel it is deeply since it is not something that is a 'forbidden fruit' for them.


My SO says that he enjoys both being a girl and beeing a guy, so is that the case for some of you too, or does the man-part feel like writing with your left hand?

Even more complicated than that, many CDs don't see it as a boy/girl thing. I don't feel like I have a 'girl' side at all, I am a guy ALL of the time, I just like to put on different clothes sometimes.
A more apt description for me would be sometimes I like wearing a suit, sometimes shorts and a tshirt, and other times a skirt or dress. It doesn't change who *I* am when I put on different clothes. I know that others have different feelings about this and actually have a personality change with the change of clothes.

[Sandra]

I don't think I've ever read where anybody has really been able to put a finger on the 'why'.

How about it's apart of who you are :)

[suzy1]

Just a small question here :) Does everyone feel more at home when they are dressed or is it more like 50/50... hmm, maybe that didnt make much sence... My SO says that he enjoys both being a girl and beeing a guy, so is that the case for some of you too, or does the man-part feel like writing with your left hand?

Yes Suzie. thats exactly how it is for me. 50/50

[Cynthia Anne]

I ask why not dress! Without dressing I am living a lie! I must be true to myself before I can be true to others! Beleive me, I have tried to quit so many times that I have lost count! Until I started excepteing myself I was suicidel! Now I'm a happy 'girl'! Hugs!

[DonnaT]

Even more complicated than that, many CDs don't see it as a boy/girl thing. I don't feel like I have a 'girl' side at all, I am a guy ALL of the time, I just like to put on different clothes sometimes.
A more apt description for me would be sometimes I like wearing a suit, sometimes shorts and a tshirt, and other times a skirt or dress. It doesn't change who *I* am when I put on different clothes. I know that others have different feelings about this and actually have a personality change with the change of clothes.
Sounds about right for me too.

There's different levels of trans. It's a wide spectrum.

[Cynthia Anne]

Just a small question here :) Does everyone feel more at home when they are dressed or is it more like 50/50... hmm, maybe that didnt make much sence... My SO says that he enjoys both being a girl and beeing a guy, so is that the case for some of you too, or does the man-part feel like writing with your left hand?

I resemble that! 'Cause this country girl DOES write with her left hand!:D

[Suziecue]

I resemble that! 'Cause this country girl DOES write with her left hand!:D

Oh I DO appologize! :P

[Lissa Stevens]

This just my opinion. From someone who is driven to cross dress. Not chooses to. But I accept that and embrace it but there is nothing good... It overly complicates my life. My relationships. Its expensive as hell. Being caught between two genders really sucks.... I'd settle for staying in one or the other in a heartbeat.. Either! I'm not choosy! Lol. Yeah I love makeup and fashion but I do not have a choice. Its either embrace it and move forward or set here and wallow in misery for the rest of my life. Probably not what your going to here. But it is honestly the way I feel.

My answer is pretty much what Karren said. It's not that there's anything so good about it. In fact the whole thing sucks. I wish I hadn't been born this way but I was. My life would be so much easier if I wasn't transgender. To me it's no different than being born with a handicap or a disease. We just have to learn to deal with it.

[Anne2345]

If we take the time to look for it, there is great beauty in the world. Beauty, in fact, surrounds us. There is beauty in life, and in being alive, if we do not close our eyes to it. And there is beauty in gender.

Like others here, I am without a choice when it comes to crossdressing. Had I a choice, however, I would still choose to crossdress, and would not change a thing. The essence of femininity is indeed wondrous and magical, but one can also list the positive attributes of masculinity. I believe that everyone, to some degree or another, has traits of both genders within. Obviously, some possess more traits of the opposite gender than others. Many undoubtedly deny or hide any traits that do not conform to the expectations of those around them.

But crossdressers do not. For me, as one possessed of both masculine and feminine traits, I seek to discover and realize the complete being that I am. If I ignored the feminine side of myself, I would do so at the expense of my mental well-being, and would therefore commit a tremendous disservice and injustice to myself. I do not want to be a partial person. I refuse be a partial person.

Hence, I crossdress, and proactively seek out femininity to the extent I can. As we mature, grow older, and come to understand ourselves better, we also evolve as individuals. I like to think that such evolution results in the completion of the individual, whatever that may be. Crossdressing for me is not only a physical endeavor, but one of the mind. I need not be dressed for the part to crossdress. I am capable of “mentally” crossdressing, and achieving what I believe and perceive to be a feminine state of mind and perspective.

By living in two worlds, worlds that frequently overlap to form a larger, more beautiful world, I achieve an inner-sense of personal satisfaction, well-being, and perception that those who occupy only one gender may fail to appreciate. I by no means am claiming to be a gender-snob, or to state that individuals who live within the realm of only one gender cannot attain equal bliss, but I do truly believe that this perspective and desire, or rather need, to crossdress is a magnificent gift. And in such a gift, I see great beauty.

I do not and cannot assign a percentage to the time that I crossdress, or even state with certainty how I necessarily feel while completely dressed, as opposed to while in drab, to the complete exclusion of the other. In this, as I stated above, it is also a state of mind. My feminine persona, Anne, is always with me, even if at times she is only in the background.

I am glad you are asking these questions, and attempting to understand us further. Your SO is a beautiful person! And so are you for accepting him, and attempting to broaden your own horizons! You have my respect, admiration, and appreciation, and I wish you and your SO well! :)

[suchacutie]

I have an easier time answering your question than most of the girls here because for 55 years I was "just a guy", or so I thought. Then, suddenly, my wife and I spent a weekend away from home and discovered that I have a part of me that is feminine. Within 48 hours we came up with ground rules, a name, an e-mail address, and I joined this website. It was all a rush, but it all seemed suddenly so clear!

So, for us it became an adventure to learn about Tina: who she is, what she is like, what role she's played in my past, present, and future. After 55 years as a "guy" I had developed a vested interest in a lot of "guy" activities, not to mention that my profession assumed a guy would show up in the morning for work. So, we quickly decided to keep my gendered selves as completely separate as possible. In that way Tina would be able to "do her thing" and we'd better find out just who she is! And did we ever find out. Just as starters, Tina is primarily left handed where my "guy" self is primarily right handed. Tina has her own opinions, books she like, movies she and my wife watch (that I can't stand in guy mode), and, of course, her own fashion sense. You might find it amusing that in guy mode I never even liked to get dressed up at Halloween, and here is Tina constant dressed to the nines and enjoying it entirely. Oh, and Tina is incredibly fastideous...just neat as a pin...where my guy mode is considerably less obsessed with neatness! There have been times when I needed to do some very detailed (and boring) professional work at home, and my wife suggested that Tina was better suited for it! Sure enough, Tina polished it off in no time at all!

I hope you can see that the driving force here is to learn about a part of myself that I never understood, and that both my wife and I get to see who Tina is together! It's like opening my soul to my wife, except even I don't know what's in there! Scary, but fantastic! By giving life to Tina, we give life to me in ways we never could have anticipated.

It seems worthwhile! Is it easy? Heck no! It's a pain to live in both genders, but it's quite clear that my mind is split into both genders, so that, as they say, is that! It's better to know who I am and, frankly, the whole process is very satisfying. It has to be, else it would not be worth all the trouble!

[deebra]

I'll just comment on wearing the bra; to a degree no one else has. A right fitting bra is comfortable, I wear D forms and love the weight and movement when I walk. Seeing the way it projects the front of a sweater is oh so sexy and feminine. Wearing a bra just goes with wearing panties, if they match, oh so pretty. A shinny nylon bra with lace and filled is quite pleasing to the eye. I even like looking at the shoulder straps and band across the back. The bra is definately female and I like that. Just wish I could get away with wearing it out of the house but with my D's all eyes would be on me.

[JenniferR771]

Susiecue,
True enough--a bra is not always comfortable by the end of the day. What is so wonderful about crossdressing? Logically speaking--there is no reason for it to feel wonderful. Mysterious--but somehow we like women so much we want to be like them. It is not just the silky feeling, straps, and colors of the clothes. Otherwise, how do you explain makeup--or wigs? Or high heels? Do we love our mothers more than average? No, I think we are born as crossdressers. I don't know how. It just takes some of us longer to accept it.
I suspect it is the same percentage around the world. Across all cultures--maybe.
I suspect that it has been the same percentage for thousands of years. How would you prove that?

[LaurenB]

I agree with all the comments above. First and foremost it just feels so right. Secondly, I feel balanced when dressed. Lastly, crossdressing relaxes me like nothing else. I find that if I don't get to do it for more than say a week, I start to feel uneasy. I'll pick up a nail file in the car and begin shaping my nails. I also think it enhances my intuition in my regular guy life. This is something my wife taught me - to use my intuition. Other than feeling the gross societal shame for dressing, it adds so much positive to my life and personality.

[Staci G]

I agree with Karren, BECAUSE I CAN"T STOP!!!!!! I love every little thing about it from wigs to pumps.

[Krista1985]

This just my opinion. From someone who is driven to crossdress. Not chooses to. But I accept that and embrace it but there is nothing good... It overly complicates my life. My relationships. Its expensive as hell. Being caught between two genders really sucks.... I'd settle for staying in one or the other in a heartbeat.. Either! I'm not choosy! Lol. Yeah I love makeup and fashion but I do not have a choice. Its either embrace it and move forward or set here and wallow in misery for the rest of my life. Probably not what your going to here. But it is honestly the way I feel.

Every word truth. Like they said in the 'Shawshank Redemption,' "Get busy living, or get busy dying."

I could ignore the feelings and try to abstain from the activity, but that takes a lot of concentration and plenty of distractions. My mind naturally wanders to feminine thoughts if left to it's own devices. Effectively ignoring it means keeping more or less perpetually distracted, and that can be maddening. At the end of the day, there aren't enough games to play, books to read or shows to immerse myself in to keep CD'ing thoughts at bay. So ignoring it is more trouble than it's worth and isn't effective in the long term. That's from my own experience, but to each their own.

I do enjoy being both girl and guy, and I'm usually at home in either mode. As long as I make time for the female side regularly, popping into male mode when required is not an issue.

[Jason+]

The good:

How it looks, how it feels both physically and mentally when I do and quite frankly I like the taste of the chocolate whether I want the whole bar or not!

[Stephenie S]

Oh come ON, Suzie. It's FUN. You know it and I know it. Smooth sexy underwear, stockings, heels, a nice "do", a pretty face, a spritz of perfume, some nice jewelry, and finally stepping UP into those heels. It's all really FUN.

Now dressing every day in women's clothes is absolutely NO different than dressing every day in any clothes. It's just clothes. But crossdressers usually don't have to (or even WANT to) dress every day in women's clothes. But the pleasure you and I feel when dressing up is no different than the pleasure a crossdresser feels when they dress up. Those pretty clothes are fun, and that's all there is to it. (IMHO)

OK, there is something else. And that's the sex thing. It's sexy. Oh oh, sex reared it's ugly head. So there is that. Many crossdressers get sexually aroused when they crossdress, especially in the beginning. This seems to fade over time, however.

S

[Debb]

This just my opinion. From someone who is driven to crossdress. Not chooses to. But I accept that and embrace it but there is nothing good... It overly complicates my life. My relationships. Its expensive as hell. Being caught between two genders really sucks.... I'd settle for staying in one or the other in a heartbeat.. Either! I'm not choosy! Lol. Yeah I love makeup and fashion but I do not have a choice. Its either embrace it and move forward or set here and wallow in misery for the rest of my life. Probably not what your going to here. But it is honestly the way I feel.

I want to echo what Karren says, and maybe add a few pennies.

Between genders really does suck. It's taxing and burdensome.

What makes me happy? Those few precious hours when I can relax and be "me" instead of carrying the burden.

I will say one thing: your SO is *so* fortunate to have someone caring for him who appreciates this side of him, who takes the time to gain knowledge. I hope he realizes that, and I hope you appreciate yourself, too. Many of us would give a lot to have what your SO has.

[NathalieX66]

Let's break down all the things women get to do collectively....many all at once:

Grow hair long
dye or highlight hair
manicures & pedicures...all colors
show off your pedicures in cute sandals
shave legs
pierced ears
earrings in every form: studs, hoops, dangly, big & small
dresses in every shape & form
skirts
high heels
all sorts of heels
makeup
accessories
shopping
glorious evening gowns & cocktail dresses
lingerie
beauty spa

.....and now women want to go into combat & fly helicopters, drive racecars, be ceo's of corporations, kickboxing, ride harleys.
I'm a regular guy, and yet there are feminine things I like too. Maybe it's becauseI want to participate in the world of femininity too. To me, the clothes and presentation are so esthetically pleasing that I want to be a part of it. I don't care what society thinks of me.

[CarlaWestin]

To me, this is the attraction. I am 100% hetero sexual male. I fix things, watch sports, barbecue and mow the lawn. I also, with my male hardwired sex drive, admire and desire women. I absolutely love women. I am fortunate that my looks and personality carry over as that attractive slender bad boy with his financial and emotional act together. Now open the door to the other world I play in. I can become the buxom sexy trollop or subdued school girl or best little housekeeper when ever I want. I essentially live the exciting lives of two people. So many people I meet really need to get a life.

[VioletJourney]

There's lots of different reasons but for the most part there's a side of us that needs to be expressed. I'm not saying we're all TS, just that there's some minor side of our personality that's female.

Plus remember, once you get past the taboo of your SO's CDing, it means that he will love to go shopping with you, do your nails, and do makeup with you. He can be your boyfriend and your girl friend at the same time.

[marny]

short answer: pleasure....mid answer: we are women in men's bodies ( that idea probably won't go over well) Long answer:
we don't do this to hurt any one. If anything we have to protect ourselves. We do it to be the people we want and were meant to be. My wife wasn't thrilled when I started CDing but she accepts it now. I wasn't thrilled when she got arthritis but I got used to it. :straightface:

[Mahoro]

Well Susie, as I think you can see by the responses already, there are about as many different reasons 'why' as their are CD's who do it.

Some of us have spent a great deal of time self analyzing the reasons, or even seeking counseling or group therapy to figure that one out, others of us simply accept it's a part of our lives and enjoy whatever pleasure we derive from the activity when we can without questioning it too much, and still others rail and fight against it until they are miserable.

From the people who actually want to BE a woman (or a man for our trans brothers), all they way to those who just like the clothes and get that warm fuzzy when they put on pantyhose, and every imaginable point of destination in between.

From my personal standpoint I've always been bi-gendered, and now have the option to present outwardly as a woman, or a man, whenever I choose to. For me the clothing and make up is just another form of self realization and spiritual empowerment, a way to outwardly express some of the varied aspects of my inner being. It's not so much that I enjoy crossdressing in itself, it's that I enjoy the ability to be the Complete Me. I've had a full, productive, and mostly happy life living outwardly as a guy, and now the time has come for me to have a full, productive, and mostly happy life living outwardly as a girl. Pretty simple for me, but nothing changes inside my head when I go from a suit to a dress, that's certainly not the case for everyone here.

Whatever your SOs reasons may be, the really important question at hand should not be 'why he does it', but rather 'how happy does it make him feel'. If you both can embrace the activity and share in those special feelings of joy together, then as a couple you have a pretty awesome thing going on. Think of it another way, if your SO was really enthusiastic about gardening, or cooking, or writing poetry, something else that allowed him to let his inner light shine, would you be so concerned with the question of 'why' he liked it so much, or would you just be pleased that he had found a harmless and enjoyable outlet? Perhaps helping him along his development, finding aspects of the activity that you could both experience together, and basking in the glory of his successes at those things?

I wish you both the best of luck, but don't be too worried if he can't answer the 'why' part, in the end it's not as vital as the 'how much you love each other' part.

[eluuzion]

hiya S,

We all have individual reasons that we will probably never fully understand, or be able to explain to anyone else. It is a compulsion not a “choice” for many of us.

You know how you GG women feel about shoes, :battingeyelashes:? Well, we feel about 5 times that much attraction to the entire female wardrobe.:D

Best I can do for an analogy...:hugs:

:love:

[Polly R]

Karren and Eryn just about said it all but Jennifer's comments:

>True enough--a bra is not always comfortable by the end of the day. What is so wonderful about crossdressing? Logically speaking--there is no reason for it to feel wonderful. Mysterious--but somehow we like women so much we want to be like them. It is not just the silky feeling, straps, and colors of the clothes. Otherwise, how do you explain makeup--or wigs? Or high heels? Do we love our mothers more than average? No, I think we are born as crossdressers. I don't know how. It just takes some of us longer to accept it.

- added just that bit more. Like some have already commented, I like doing a lot of things in guy mode - I like nothing better than tinkering with large lumps of metal that hiss and spit steam and cylinder oil and run on rails. I couldn't imagine doing that in girl mode (although we do have some genuine fire ladies and drivers..!) - it plays heck with your hands and nails but they can be recovered... Like CDing, that's a 'man' part of me that I couldn't give up. But it is what is within that keeps popping up and says 'It's time to change to girl mode.' Yes, bras, girdles, corsets and high heels are not the most comfortable things to wear and makeup is not the easiest of things to put on properly but it's just that 'something' that compels us to be girly and look and feel pretty.

And as Karren and others have said, it doesn't half cause complications in your relationship with your wife. Mine is reasonably accepting and I'm just so glad about that - we've had many ups and downs over the years. I just wish I didn't have this compulsion that complicates life so much and even after 30+ years, I still sometimes have problems accepting Polly is part of me.

Sorry, can't explain it any better than that. It's just that 'something' that none of us, even the medical profession can't get to the bottom of.

xx Polly

[prene]

Since Ive known about my SOs CD Ive always wondered why...
So I thought Id ask the same question here, trust me Im not trying to pick a fight ;)

My SO just has a hard time answering it, and I thought that maybe it could help him aswell to see what the rest of you think is so wonderful about crossdressing :)

So; what makes crossdressing so fantastic, why do you do it? And as I said before Im just curious, ok really nosy... but anyway I just wanna know cause I know nothing better than taking my bra off, so how come my SO cant wait to put his on?

:hugs:
/Suzie

Well we are all different.
For me if I am wearing attached forms I love going braless.

For me it is not just xdressing it is wanting to feel what a female would feel.

Ask me more?

[Suziecue]

OK get ready for a huge wall of text ;)

Im so thankful for all your answers! I could never imagine that so many would take the time and answer my silly question ;) So many of you have said so many good things that really made me think: "Ahaaa" :)

There are a few Id like to make some extra comments to tho:


This just my opinion. From someone who is driven to crossdress. Not chooses to. But I accept that and embrace it but there is nothing good... It overly complicates my life. My relationships. Its expensive as hell. Being caught between two genders really sucks.... I'd settle for staying in one or the other in a heartbeat.. Either! I'm not choosy! Lol. Yeah I love makeup and fashion but I do not have a choice. Its either embrace it and move forward or set here and wallow in misery for the rest of my life. Probably not what your going to here. But it is honestly the way I feel.

I just get so frustrated when I read this, because your feeling is due to people like me... People who are ignorant and doesnt understand. It makes me really sad that I have put my SO through these feelings and I only hope that by me gaining more information and understanding I can make it up him for the rest of our lives. I really do hope that one day this world will allow you to dress/act/feel the way you want to! Hugs!



Imagine being in a world where half of the population enjoyed chocolate, there were chocolate shops on every corner, all around you the media pushed attractive images of chocolate, yet you weren't allowed any. There is no physical reason for this restriction, but society prohibits it. Chocolate eaters walk up to you licking their fingers and telling you how good the chocolate tastes but recoil in revulsion if you ask them for a taste. They blatantly display their enjoyment with no thought at all for the feelings of those who cannot partake. You cannot escape it, for the aroma of chocolate is everywhere and even some of the people in your home are chocolate eaters so there is always a supply around.


I know Ive allready commented on this one, but I just love that comparison to chocolate! I will however steal that if anyone asks me something about CD ;)


The closest I think you can get is to come of with some similar feeling YOU may get from other activities.
Maybe imagine the feeling you get after a long day when you can sink into a hot tub for a soak?
The contentment of a quite afternoon with a cup of tea and a good book?
Pretty much anything you do that makes you go 'Ahhh... I really needed that'.


Thank you for this answer, that was really an "ahhhhhaaaa-moment" for me, thank you so much!


Let's break down all the things women get to do collectively....many all at once:

Grow hair long
dye or highlight hair
manicures & pedicures...all colors
show off your pedicures in cute sandals
shave legs
pierced ears
earrings in every form: studs, hoops, dangly, big & small
dresses in every shape & form
skirts
high heels
all sorts of heels
makeup
accessories
shopping
glorious evening gowns & cocktail dresses
lingerie
beauty spa

.....and now women want to go into combat & fly helicopters, drive racecars, be ceo's of corporations, kickboxing, ride harleys.
I'm a regular guy, and yet there are feminine things I like too. Maybe it's becauseI want to participate in the world of femininity too. To me, the clothes and presentation are so esthetically pleasing that I want to be a part of it. I don't care what society thinks of me.

Well, when you put it like that... My SO always say that there arent enough sexy lingeri for men, and that is surely true, and you are right there are so many other things that a GG can enjoy. The funny thing is that Im kind of a boyish girl myself. I didnt like horses and pink clothes when I was younger, I liked soccer, motorcycles and ofc boys ^^ Maybe thats why it was so hard for me to accept my SO being more feminine than I, because no matter how much you say that it is ok for a female to do "male-stuff" its usually not considered to be as sexy as a girly-girl :)



Plus remember, once you get past the taboo of your SO's CDing, it means that he will love to go shopping with you, do your nails, and do makeup with you. He can be your boyfriend and your girl friend at the same time.

Hahaha actually, this has allready started, he does my nails and I do his and I really love it :)



Whatever your SOs reasons may be, the really important question at hand should not be 'why he does it', but rather 'how happy does it make him feel'.

You are so right!! :)


It has been such a learning-experience allready, and I cant thank my SO enough for getting me to join here, I just wish I had done it sooner.

Im really sorry if the question made some of you sad and maybe angry, that was never my intent, I just wanted to know, maybe I should start a thread with "What do you LIKE most about CD? but I guess there´s allready a bunch of those, better go back to reading now ;)

Again - a huge thank you to all answers here and the PMs I got, you guys are really amazing, dont let anyone ever tell you anything different! :hugs:

:love:
Suzie

[donnalee]

Hi Suzie
Wonderful thread!
As a teacher once told me in my youth "Good question."
I doubt that I can add much to it, so I won't try.
Best wishes to both of you,
:love:Donna

[Erica Thorn]

Woha, what have you started here love!

So, I'm Suzies SO and I'm apparently the reason this thread since I havn't been able to explain how or why I like it so much. Thanks everyone for helping to explain some of the feelings in better words then I ever managed to... but She's on me all the time that I need to reply more to her threads so I'll give it a shot! (warning for massive post maybe)

Ok first of all, I have a really hard time putting a single word on how it feels or why I like it. Like many have said here it varies from CD to CD... but I feel more relaxed, more at ease then I do other times! Suzie even said it last summer when we tried me having underwear on every other day: "You get more cuddly when you wear that..." and yeah, thats probably true but only since I feel better!

Let me give you a quick bio about me, I'm grown up in the northern part of Sweden and I really don't know what to compare it to... basicly in my youth men were real men... hard working, scarred and most of the time more hairy then a gorillas but, hunting ofc. drinking loads of beer... you know, the usual redneck kind of things! :D

Ok, so that's the image of men that I've grown up with, how I "should" be as a man... and this image may be different between different ages or locations but we do actually have a lot of pressure on us how we need to be!

And this is still a part of me, I like to build stuff, work with cars, being the techy guy that knows everything etc but sometimes it all just gets to much... it feels good to drop that "clothing" and put on something else now and then to just let all those "have to's" go away!

So,while we're at it, clothing I mean... I'm sure most of you have reflected over this, walking into a clothing store and what do you see, womens clothing in different colors, different materials, different shapes... a see of endless variations... and that was just the sweaters ^^
move along to the underwear where there are a multitude of shapes, fabrics, models etc etc and of course the same with shoes... my god so many different shoes there are for women...

Ok, still with me in this mental tour through the store... great...

So after moving through this seemingly endless ocean you finally arrive at the mens corner... yeah I said corner because that's what it is most of the time... some grey or other dull shirts in cotton... or maybe... *gasp*... could it be... just 75% cotton in that one... ok, lets move on to pants, oups, missed the rack with them... underwear... yeah, boxer shorts or some other kind of briefs... nothing sexy about them...
be honest... try to compare the feeling on sliding on a pair of Cotton military green boxers with some satin panties... yeah, you know what I'm talking about!:raisedeyebrow:

hmm, now I actually managed to get lost in my own post... this is huge... now where was I heading with all this??? :thinking:

Right, is it so strange that we like womens clothing when we get around to it, I mean just the fabric if we just skip the mental part of it... ofc. not...

But that brings us right back into the brain and the mysteries beyond... now I'm just talking for myself here, but I love the sensation it gives me... the feeling of the fabric against my skin and the way it makes me feel...

last night after we started talking here me and Suzie she put on me a negligee made of satin and we just lay there in the bed talking... then she asked me how I felt... if I felt sexier then otherwise and I had to admit yes... I did...
And it's the same with the rest, even if I can see my self dressed and think "oh my god... that looks awful" I can't help it when my brain is saying "Yo foxy lady!" :battingeyelashes: So what if it's a bit tight (hate tight shirts otherwise) or the 4" shoes hurt a tad... why care when it makes me feel good, or at least better about myself a while?

So, here comes the line that I just could have written instead of this essay... but it was a fun journey!

For me what's so good about it... I feel nice, I feel sexy and I love the sensation and variation of clothing and shoes!

ok, if you actually made it through this twisting maze that's my brain through the entire post I salute you... and give you huge Hug
:hugs:

[suzy1]

Yes, I struggled through it Autumn.
And all I can do is give you a big hug back.

Life is fun, yes?

SUZY

[Jenny Gurl]

I can't add much to what is already here, most have covered it well. I will say that I personally do it for all the reasons a regular girl does it, society just doesn't approve of it since I was born male. I know many girls who want nothing more than a comfortable pair of pants, and no fuss over getting ready to go out for the day, and no one blinks an eye if they look this way. Girls are actually as diverse as crossressers, it is simply a broader spectrum of acceptance. Society accepts a girl for any form of appearance from full guy appearance (tom boy) to full Cinderella appearance complete with cloths makeup etc. Most girls enjoy matching their appearance with their moods. Today they are in jeans and a T shirt, tomorrow they might feel like dressing nice for a change with a nice dress or skirt, makeup, nails, etc. It is a form of self expression that comes from who you are, and when acted upon becomes what you look like. When a girl takes a long bath and shaves her legs she feels good afterwards, I am happy I have shared the experience can appreciate the same thing.

To echo others here because it is worth repeating, thank you for making the effort to understand this thing that some are born with. I don't consider it a defect because it is much deeper than skin or cloths. It is a part of who we are inside, and comes with many benefits if you let it. I actually care about my S.O. feelings, I appreciate how long it takes her to get ready and instead of complaining about it, I get out of her way and give her time to get it all done. Since I have shaved my legs, put on a full face of makeup, put on the undergarments, tried to zip up the back of my dress, etc. myself, I can understand and appreciate that it takes more time and effort and be more supportive instead of complaining about it like most guys. I have more insight as to many things a woman goes through and act in a supporting way for her when I can. I feel it makes us closer than any other guy can be with their S.O. We share so much more, we can talk about things a regular guy would be too embarrassed or clueless to talk about. We shop together to find cloths or makeup or anything else girlfriends would do. As said in another post, I am her part time girlfriend, and when she needs me I can go full on caveman. I can build a deck or work on the car one weekend, and get a mani pedi with her the next weekend before we go shopping for "just the right dress or top to go with the new skirt we found last weekend for her.

In answer as to why so many took so much time to give a complete answer, it is just that important. So many relationships have had very hard times or even failed because the S.O. did not understand the true reasons why we do it, and where it will lead. So many assume the stereotypical beliefs that "he will some day want to transition to a woman and I will lose him", or " he must be gay". Neither of these are typical for crossressers. We are people just like anyone else, we just have an "artistic" side to us. As mentioned already, many have not accepted their inner self because society tells them it is wrong. Until they accept their inner self, they cannot explore it enough to know many of the answers to the questions we all have about crossdressing. Please don't think he is hiding something because he says he doesn't know something about this condition, he may honestly not know yet.

On a final note, thank you for making the effort to understand him. If you keep an open communication with him during the learning process it will help both of you get the most out of life and each other.

[Erica Thorn]

@Suzy1
And it just keeps getting better and better since Suzie started meeting all the lovely people here!

@Jenny
oh my god Jenny... that was wonderful to read and I can connect to many parts of it... and many parts that I wish we have together in our future to... well maybe not you and me, but me and Suzie :D

extremely well said!:hugs:

[Iskandra]

...ok, lets move on to pants, oups, missed the rack with them... underwear... yeah, boxer shorts or some other kind of briefs... nothing sexy about them...
be honest... try to compare the feeling on sliding on a pair of Cotton military green boxers with some satin panties... yeah, you know what I'm talking about!:raisedeyebrow:

And to make it worse, mens underwear is mostly wraped discretely in plastic..
then of course there are the super sexy boxers with Homer or Bart Simpson designs! A turn on in anyones books!! :facepalm: :evilbegon

[Erica Thorn]

And to make it worse, mens underwear is mostly wraped discretely in plastic..
then of course there are the super sexy boxers with Homer or Bart Simpson designs! A turn on in anyones books!! :facepalm: :evilbegon

Oh yes... forgot about that... we can't have all those perverted-neutral-colored-boxers embarrasing all the ladies buying thongs on the other end of the store can we... No hide them in plastic as you say or even better... in tiny paper boxes with just a outlined image of them on the front... that way no one knows what we are buying and don't need to be ashamed!

[Sally24]

Suzi, to you the bra is just a necessary evil. To us its just necessary. If we could just apply an artificial breast and do without the bra, believe me, many of us would. The best way I can compare is this......imagine how you feel when you put a new special outfit on that just makes you look fantastic. That's how I feel most of the time I'm "dressed". I feel relaxed, attractive, happy, special, girl, younger, and many other things all at once. But we're all different so this may or may not apply to your SO.

[KrystalA]

I dress because I simply love to dress. As far as what's so great about it, EVERYTHING is great about it. I love the sensation of having breasts, of wearing a bra (which I never want to take off), of wearing satin panties, just all of it. And since my SO loves seeing me in girly attire, and she always compliments me on my appearance and makes me feel even more feminine, I wouldn't stop dressing for any reason. It's just part of who I am. A BIG part. I guess it boils down to the fact that for reasons unknown to me, I just absolutely love dressing like and feeling like a girl.

[CynthiaD]

For me it's not so much a thrill as a feeling of immense relief. When I put on a bra and breast forms the only thing I see in the mirror is myself. When I present as male, everything looks wrong.

Imagine that you were forced to wear a crew cut and pants for an extended period, and suddenly you were allowed to wear something feminine. That's how it is for me.

CK

[UNDERDRESSER]

Well Suzie, my journey into crossdressing started when I swapped clothes with my sister at about 8 years old, along with a strange fantasy that i created to make sense of all those feelings you start getting at about that age. ( the strange fantasy was because I had no idea what sex was, and couldn't ask my parents )

These days, I still get a kick out of it, and I've gotten so used to wearing panties, the usual mens stuff feel horrible. I've never fully dressed, except for some fancy dress, don't know if i would enjoy it, probably not unless I could get to look really mice, which is going to take some major cosmetic help.

I think my current definition of a perfect world, would be to share it with an accepting GG, who would help me look as beautiful a male as possible, and we both get to dress out of the same panties drawer. The idea of sharing the same clothing is a very intimate thing for me.

Also, I'm very jealous, do you have a Sister?

[Lynn Marie]

I'm not sure a woman who doesn't get a thrill out of a lacy push-up bra, shiney stockings and stiletto heels, tight silky foundation garments, and fitted clothing can ever really understand the allure of cross-dressing. Now if you do love the feel of your lingerie, then you should be able to understand me. I love sexy lingerie on the women I'm with, and I love that same sexy lingerie on me! Why should you girls have all the fun!

Yes, I understand wearing comfortable clothes. Everything I wear in male mode is comfortable. When I'm dressed I have garters tugging at my nylons, a tight bra embracing my chest, a girdle hugging my middle, heels arching my feet, a silky slip against my skin, and fitted skirts and tops restricting my movements. Yes, I understand wanting to get out of my bra, and heels, and girdle, and garter belt after a long evening dressed. Just can't wait till the next evening to torture myself again!

[Princess Chantal]

There is one true blue reason on why I started and am still crossdressing...... My curiousity.
I was curious about pantyhose at an early age in which drew me into putting on a pair. Then it was my curiousity about the difference in gender clothing that got me trying on a bit more. It progressed to curiousity of the difference in gender situations, once I completed a feminine appearance. Then it was curiousity of the society's reaction that led me to go out to public places. I have become curious of the different types of clothing (like the styles, materials, age).
There were some curiousity led experiences that rocked my world such as pantyhose, festival outings, drag performing and vintage or role play costuming out in the public eye. There were some experiences that didn't quite pan out like flip flops, capris, grocery shopping, and consecutive days of dressing and mannerisms in the feminine form.
So acting on the my curiousities and enjoying the experiences that made me shout out "whooohooo" is what is so great about my crossdressing.....

[Kerigirl2009]

Well for me, Since I was about 9 I have had this feeling of not belonging in the group of men. I just don't like the same things and I would much rather do other things then what regular guys do ( not that I cant do those things )
So where am I going with this, for me wearing the clothes that where designed for women fulfills an empty feeling that is always and I mean always lingering somewhere inside of myself. I feel like I should belong in the company of women and I want to get closer to them, I have a huge desire to look and feel as muchon the outside like a woman that I feel like I already am on the inside.
Now dont get me wrong I love being a husband to my wife and a father to my children. I have those needs as well, this is also part of the Crossdressing problem.
As a Crossdresser most of us have a need to hide that huge part of who we really are to everyone that we know and that I believe is why when the opportunity presents itself to us to give us that tiny bit of freedom to express on the outside what we feel like on the inside constantly. WE RUN TO IT!! ( the drive to come home from work and put on a bra)
We are in a costant state of hiding ourselves and for me anyways, I hate having to hide who it is I truly am.
What am I Sure I am a crossdresser! But I am soooo much more then that too, I am a husband, a father, a friend, a man and a woman. I have to express who I am otherwise my mind just gets all flustered and I cannot function the way that I should. So I release some of what I am hiding and OMG the feeling of just being normal is such a relief and a release of fear.
Sometimes, well most of the time I wish that I was a Woman so I could just be myself. But the biggest fear that I have is the what if my wife and children WONT love me anymore because of what I have lived with alll my life only chose to hide from them.
This is Unfair to them becasue I BELIEVE WHOLE HEARTEDLY that if I did not have to hide who I am they would see a much Happier person and GAIN so much more from me as a person and this would translate into so much more for me also. Because I could be just like everyone else, normal.

[BillieJoEllen]

Long before the internet came to be widely used I almost committed suicide because of my gender conflict. To this day I don't know why I didn't carry out my plan but I'm glad I didn't. As someone else on here said about that line in Shawshank Redemption I somehow got to embrace that feminine part of me and 'got busy living'.
Why am I TS? I don't know but I am very much more happy when I can embrace myself as who I am. I do manly things but do not really like being a man. Now that we have sites like this I feel more comfortable (I am not alone) and confident in who I am.

[TxCassie]

For me, I don't know if "wonderful" is the focus of my dressing. The 'wonderful" comes when you actually realize your femme side by dressing. You make it real. The self joy, assurance, happiness that comes of expressing yourself, your total self is wonderful. Bras can be tiresome and after wearing one for awhile, yes, I'm am glad to have my chest free from the restriction. But when I am wearing it, I feel like Cassie.

[carhill2mn]

Hi Suzie,

Would it surprise you to learn that you are not the first person to ask this question? If someone really knew "why" we crossdress they could become rich. Many of us can explain "why" in the terms of how we feel when "dressed" but the "why
we "want to/ need to" is much harder.

I can tell you that I love the look and feel of women's clothes. I love heels and pantyhose (Iknow, I know). I love the way I look after having put on my makeup, jewelry, and wig. I like looking like a woman and being treated as a lady! No matter how I was feeling before getting dressed I always feel better after I am dressed. Need I go on?

[Meredy]

I was dressed when I was young, and loved it from the first time.

After reading all the responses to the question, I have to agree with all of them. I was too young the first time to find it a sexual thrill, but it was and addicting feel from the first time I had a dress slipped on me and have had cravings my whole life for "chocolate".

I love the feel of 5" heels (even though I'm 6'2"), I love the feel of a nylon slip brushing my knees (especially when I'm wearing nylons), and sleeping in a light silky long nightgown.

I have spent my life overcompensating for my feminine side and it takes a toll, to the point I felt like I was living my life to live up to everyone elses expectations of what I should be. I'm tired of being macho and tired of stressing if I am living up to others expectations. I used to wake up every morning with terrible back pain (I can only guess from stress) but since I started to sleep in a light soft nightgown, I sleep better and wake up pain free.

So my answer to the question is, "I'm tired of being super macho invincable man and want to feel a little delicate, vulnerable, and sexy, because this is who I am."

You're a very lucky person Autunm to have a SO like Suzie!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Suzie, Ask a thousand people and you will probably get a thousand different answers.
Crossdressing is a lot like being a rail fan if I've got to explane it to you you probrbly
wouldn't understand it anyway.
That just my thoughts on it.

I pretty much agree with Karen on this but I still like denim skirts and ladies jeans.

Orchid

[TxKimberly]

Excellent question! I sure wish that I had a really good answer for you, but some things just don't come down to logic. It makes me happy. I feel pretty, look reasonably pretty, and it pleases me. Much of my life I've felt like I was robbed and that it was unfair that I wasn't supposed to like pretty clothes, shoes, hair, etc. Well, in large part over the last few years, I've decided that I don't care a great deal about what others may think, and I have been having a ball.

Asking "What's so good about it?" is kind of like saying "what's so good about chocolate?". How would you analyze and explain to others what you like about chocolate?

[Jorja]

I cannot add to the conversation as to what is so good about it. I think that has been answered quite well at this point. However, I can help you out with the chocolate. http://www.giftblooms.com/product_info.php?cPath=843&products_id=959004&cPath=223&rc=

[Jason+]

.....and now women want to go into combat & fly helicopters, drive racecars, be ceo's of corporations, kickboxing, ride harleys....
I'm a regular guy, and yet there are feminine things I like too.

For those women who can truly perform in these roles, I salute and welcome you. All I ask in return is that you leave some room for me when I want to be softer and seek a mutually satisfying conflict resolution instead or forcing a my way or the highway decision.

[Kate Simmons]

Well Suzi, the fact is and what many CD's will not admit or consider is that it's all about getting in touch with deep feelings that need to be addressed. For some guys the only way to do this and still remain guys is to create a sub avatar of themselves to express their feminine feelings. This allows them to "legally" role play or whatever else they want to do with feminine (or perceived feminine) inclinations. Others simply enjoy it as a fetish. Still others realize the feelings need to be taken a step further and permanently live them after transitioning. A cross dresser knows thay have come to terms with their feelings when it becomes a total choice to do it rather than remaining a compulsion. :)

[Sedona]

Suzie, as a chocoholic, I can't really add much to the chocolate analogy, but yeah, that's just about right!!! Love it!




Again - a huge thank you to all answers here and the PMs I got, you guys are really amazing, dont let anyone ever tell you anything different! :hugs:

:love:
Suzie

I know what you mean, but ahem, girls, not guys. ;)

[Raychel]

I spend my whole day in a uniform, breaking my knuckles and just about everything else, fixing cars. And just like a woman that works in a suit all day long, When I get home I can't wait to get out of those clothes and get comfortable. And the clothes that I am most comfortable in is nice soft womens clothes, Not the scratchy mens clothes that I wear all the time.

[adrienner99]

Meredy's comment that she's tired of being super macho somwhat connects to me. I was badly bullied and pushed around as a boy, learned to deal with it and "be a man," but have never quite forgotten it. I do not like the pressures of being male, of feeling like you have to solve every problem, shut down every confrontation, etc....However, I started crossdressing even before those experiences. When I first sneaked into my mother's room and tried on her dresses, her high heels, here petticoats, her lipstick--I stood in front of the mirror and felt, "This is right. This is me. This is who I am."

Beyond that, I love women's fashions almost the way a designer does. I read Vogue and Elle and Allure, etc. I think about women's clothes and do what I can to learn about them. Thye are fun, they are beautiful and wearing them makes me feel alive.

[corrinediane]

Lol. My SO says the same thing. "I just wanna know cause I know nothing better than taking my bra off, so how come my SO cant wait to put his on?" If you could find the answer to why we CD we'd all be a little wiser. Its not a choice for me but more of a need. There seems to be 2 genders that make up my personality. The male side is dominant but the female or more accurately the feminine side needs to be expressed every so often. Well, more then every so often. My SO asks me this question sometimes and I never really give her an answer that I'm happy with. That's the why part. The fantastic part is the girly stuff we share. The shopping, dressing, comparing and all the stuff she used to do by herself. She knows when she asks me a question about her look or clothes or anything feminine I'm telling her the truth and not just appeasing her. The other part of fantastic is what it's done for me. No more hiding. The dressing was my deepest darkest secret since I started doing it. I'm 100% truthful with her. Before it was short of that. I'm lucky that she has embraced this side of me. I know it's different for every couple. Good thread Suziecue.

[jenowen]

its not greasy, dirty,or filthy so what's not good about it

[DW]

I think of it like a lot of things people do.
Some like baseball, racing or hockey. They can't say WHY they like those things, they just do. Wearing womens clothing is kind of like that, its just something we want to do.
Some like to act on stage, some make life their stage.

[Suzy Parker]

My counselour once told me that my dressing can be looked at kind of like a drug addiction due to the chemicals released in my brain which triggure a complete feeling of euphoria and peacefulness. Being addicted to womens clothes is not a bad thing, it is really quite enjoyable, were I get into trouble is with my OCD "Obsessive Clothing Disorder", OK, Compulsive I just thought clothing sounded better. I really have to keep control otherwise I would be flat broke neck high in clothes.

[prettytoes]

For me, it just feels right. I love the feel of satin and silk against my skin (who wouldn't?). I feel more comfortable in panties; the fabric is usually thinner, whether it is cotton or satin, and they are shaped to fit better. I also like the patterns and colors much better. Men's underwear is usually thicker and bunches and rides up more. I love the feel and look of a mini skirt. Again, it feels right...it makes me feel like all is as it should be.
I wear a sports bra when I am riding my bike or working out. It really seems to keep me cooler as it absorbs sweat and keeps me drier.
I love to look down and see a pretty color on my toenails. It just makes me feel good.
I sleep far better in a nightie or satin pajamas.
My wife is great; she is very understanding. This has always been a part of me. I have tried to stop, but it just leaves me irritable and depressed; like a part of me is missing.
Like others have said, life would be easier if I wasn't stuck between genders, but I am and I have learned to embrace and enjoy it.