Straight Bars...

[TeaganNataliaAcheson]

So, tonight is the second time in my life that I have gone out to a straight bar as myself. The first one was on Wednesday, which was the most ghetto bar I have ever been too. I was absolutely mortified. Previously I had always considered my hometown, stuck up and bigoted; for lack of a better term. But much to my surprise the bartender ARGUED with me about my ID saying I was stupid for giving her a boys ID when I was clearly a girl. I about lost it lmao. Anyways so when she found out, she took it very well, and accepted me. Later outside when she was asking questions in front of people everyone else did too.

Tonight, I must have had Harry Potters invisibility cloak on, because NOONE picked me out. And again when they found out they were extraordinarily nice.One girl even made out with me...Maybe I am not giving west Michigan enough credit?

Just figured I would share. Whats your all's experience?

[Robin Lee]

Hi Teagan,
I just love straight bars and restaurants. My be I have just been lucky, but never a problem. For me I have to go 50 miles south to San Diego to go to a transgendered bar. I just figured a long time ago that if I was going to be accepted in the neighborhood, that I needed to go out where everyone else went out to. I guess that I try my best to just be me and never bring up being transgendered unless someone ask, which has been a long time ago! Be safe and go to up scale places and stay away from the bad side of town! Enjoy!

Best Wishes
Robin Lee

[Barbra P]

Hi Robin

Would that be SRO in Hillcrest? Another member here goes there and has suggested that I meet her there, but I haven't been able to get up the courage yet to do it. I think I look pretty much like a man-in-a-dress even with a wig and fairly decent makeup, I had to show my DL at a store recently while enfemme and the only response from the SA was "OK"; that may have been due to the fact that I have been to the store dressed both enfemme and drab and asking for the id was just protocol.

Hi Teagan

Do you prefer to be addressed as Teagan or Natalia, or something else? Must be great to be able to go to a bar or restaurant and not be read the moment you walk through the door.

[danielle40I]

I'ld be clocked in a heartbeat...so happy you had a great time.

[Alexiz]

I'ld be clocked in a heartbeat...so happy you had a great time.

Yikes. This is probably one reason I'd say away from bars. XD

I'm still only 19, so I don't go around bar hopping or anything. I really want to see what it's like, though.

[Hope]

I met a friend from seminary a few weeks after I started to go full-time. I left the details to him and he picked a sports bar. I was a bit mortified, but went along with it knowing I would be with friends. When I walked in it was like the record skipped, and it was weird watching the entire bar look me over, some one from every table would notice me and point me out to everyone else they were with so that after about a 45 seconds of standing in the entryway EVERY person in the bar had made me. It was WEIRD to watch happen. But just as quickly every single person turned and went back to their conversation.

Now when I go out - almost no one notices me - until I open my mouth. Still working on that. But it is getting better!

[Aprilrain]

Now when I go out - almost no one notices me - until I open my mouth. Still working on that. But it is getting better!

Your supposed to just sit there and look pretty Hope!

[Joann Smith]

Thanks to alot of really brave sisters out there ...it not all that big a deal for tgs to go into straight clubs anymore... its all about how you carry yourself....if you come in and appear to be comfortable most people will be comfortable with you...but if you appear to be scared and all nervous folks gonna think you there to rob the place

Joann

[Melody Moore]

I have been going to straight venues since last New Years Eve. I went out that night with my ex-girlfriend
to the Casino because a friend's band was playing there that night. Initially I was a bit nervous because it
was the first time I had been out to a non-LGBT venue where there was alcohol since I transitioned. I was
really surprised how guys all reacted to me. Me & my girlfriend had guys hitting on us & buying us drinks all
night & not one single person questioned my gender identity.

Since then I have feel very comfortable going anywhere most of the time. Last Saturday night (last night) I
went out to a LGBT friendly function with my lesbian girlfriends, but we all found the entertainment, a drag
show to be really sloppy & disorganised, so we left. But one of my girlfriends had free tickets to a strip club
so we finished up going there. When we arrived, 2 of the girls went to the bar to get us drinks while I waited
for the other with my other girlfriend. When they returned they had a good looking guy around my age in tow
who apparently paid for all of our drinks. But to my shock & surprise, he hit on me of all people as soon as he
got to our table. The other girls thought it was quite funny & we laughed about that later. Anyway as it turns
out he is only passing through Cairns, sailing a large catamaran delivering it for a client. But unfortunately for
him I am definitely not into one night stands. But he was a really nice guy all the same :)

Anyway, we left about 1am to head to another nightclub but on the way grabbed a snack, but then we decided to
just grab a taxi & go back to my girlfriends place & have a few more drinks. We changed our minds about staying out
because there was a number of fights starting to break out. Cairns can be a rough place to go out on the town at night.

While noone hassled any of us, we just thought it would be a lot better to get away from
the testosterone/alcohol fuelled mayhem & finished our night while on a really positive high.

[Jorja]

For me, going to straight venues was a way to "prove" myself. This was back in the 70's and 80's. I mean, anyone can go to a gay/lesbian/TG club and fit in and I did go to many of them. In all the years I did this no one ever hassled me. Most treated me with respect and dignity and few even tried to understand my situation. As many have said here before, it is not how well you pass, it is how you present and interact others. Yes, of course you need to be careful in any situation as male or female.

[Mandy Marie]

As a part-time crossdresser, I've gone outside only once out of town at the Dunes Resort, which felt insanely safe and comfortable. A straight bar would intimidate the hell out of me. I've always measured any "success" I would have on my "passibility." I keep hearing confidence is more important, at least in general. Possibly the ability to envision positive outcomes when going out helps encourage said end result. And, maybe I'm not giving Grand Rapids enough credit either.

I'm certainly interested in hearing of any other places you've been that feel welcoming, Teagan.

Mandy Marie

[JennyA]

I've gone to a straight bar twice, same one. I had a blast. No one was mean to me and the female bartenders thought I was the cutest thing. They all were very curious about me.

[pradaarmani]

From my experience, straight guys won't mind ts girls.

[NinefoldBloom]

I'ld be clocked in a heartbeat...so happy you had a great time.

Me too. I had a fear of the local bars before, now it's worse. They have a reputation for hate and violence.

I could see a lot of the positive situations people described working out though, which is great.