Are you still PLAYING at being a girl?

[Frédérique]

I stumbled across the title phrase in another member’s post one day, so, intrigued, I stuck it in my pink pocketbook for future reference. “Playing” at being a girl – what a concept!

I’m very much playing at being a girl, thank you, and, if you can understand the idea, you may understand where I’m “coming from,” or going to. The idea is to have fun, or amuse yourself – not exactly like recreation, but more like play-acting. Playfulness is the key – of course, I take my crossdressing very seriously, as a logical means to an end, but I don’t take things too seriously – can you DIG it? BTW, feel free to define “girl” any way you see fit...

No doubt about it, I seek to emulate a certain example of “girl” that has either inspired me or tickled my fancy in some way. I dress like a girl, and all other aspects of my presentation match the clothes I choose to wear. I also behave and comport myself as a girl – I actively pretend to be one of these interesting creatures, even though "she" is purely a figment of my imagination. I take all of my favorite things, fold them together, and the end product is a girl...

I don’t dress my age, and the gap between my “real” appearance and my crossdressed (i.e. girl) appearance keeps widening every year. This may explain why I don’t make a big deal out of “passing,” or the need to pass, nor do I entertain the idea of meeting other CD “ladies” out in the real world. The truth is, I would stick out like a sore thumb, a “girl” among ladies who act (and dress) their age. If all members on this site are transgendered to a certain degree, I suppose I’m transgendered, but I slip in and out of my “girl” persona (and presentation) whenever it’s “play” time. At other times, I am very much an effeminate boy, a girl (but not a lady) in waiting...

Am I deluding myself? Am I not important enough to warrant the attention of other, more serious MtF crossdressers? From my point of view, my crossdressing is the fulfillment of possibilities, essential for the “completeness” I need to achieve. What I do is pretty much impossible, but there is plenty of “play” in the system – I am allowed to move freely within the limits I recognize. I don’t do this half-heartedly, but I feel young, beguiling, and pleasantly amused by trying...

The thing is, I started crossdressing later than most, right at the end of a series of painfully slow awakenings, leading to a new beginning of sorts. As such, I was denied the girlhood I have since yearned for, and crossdressing represents an effort to redress the balance and retrieve the irretrievable. This is my life’s work, even though it’s “play.” Even a short time spent in appropriate female (girl) clothing does a world of good to help me forget how old I am. My skirts are too short, my shorts are too short, and life itself is too short – I choose to spend my remaining time wisely...

I could upgrade my appearance, and dress (and act) like a lady, but I would prefer to be this way and frolic in my imaginary playground. I’m going to “play it out” to the end, no doubt attempting to wear one of my modified schoolgirl outfits on the day I shuffle off this mortal coil. Since all is artifice, and appearances can be deceiving, I welcome this idea of simulation. Acting the “part” of a girl is the role I was born to play, and I’ve spent years honing my performance, even though “showing off” through an elaborate display is not my intention. I’m guessing a psychiatrist would have a field day trying to understand my rationale for dressing like this, but the answer is quite simple...

At the end of the day, I’m playing with my “self,” letting HER come out to play – the “boy” takes a subordinate (but supporting) role, and he needs to be quiet, reverential, and deferential. No male nonsense while I’m playing at being a girl, please! Would you like to “come out” and play with me? I promise you we’ll have a LOT of fun, as long as you don’t act your age!

Are you a girl, a lady, or something in-between? Also, do you feel you’re “playing” at all? :thinking:

[Sharon B.]

When I was back in my late teens I had told my older sister that I enjoy wearing feminine items (mainly hers). She had come back home one evening while our parents were on vacation and I was in the tub taking a bubble bath, then using some of her under-garments and proceeded to put them on.
Her remark was are you playing dress-up, I guess to her I was but to me it felt natural and right and to this day it still feels the right thing to do.
Needless to say she still feels that it is wrong and I am condemn to the whatever after-life.

[Charleen]

Freddy, I look at this way, what ever blows your skirt up and you're not hurting anyone including yourself ENJOY!

[Cynthia Anne]

It's a joy to read such a beautiful story! And I'm not playing about it! Life is a stage and each one must play her part! By doing so then the story comes to life and and enjoyable! Some enjoy act one so well they never progress to act two! Which is find because it's just 'playing'! Hugs!

[sissystephanie]

I don't play at being a girl at all!! I am a man, and I know it!! What I do is dress like a female, more so a lady rather than a girl, because of age. Of course I do wear the necessary female clothing, because I like to. But that is as far as being a girl/lady goes!!

[noeleena]

Hi.

Well some do & others would like to . many come off as being very good at that . & yes i could be taken in tho im not to bothered,
the difference is of cause they are not girls . i am tho did not have a up bringing as one & even that does not bother me. because i allways knew i was more than just a girl. & even in my youth i may have missed out of some things tho much of my life was good , & those other details i may have missed out on well thats long gone ,

So its now that i can just be that... other.... woman if you like its allways been there. just took a while to grow more fully thats all. remember some of us dont just grow up at that early age that we are ment to according to the experts . & im not bothered at all.
So no i dont play at being a girl. because im a woman.

...noeleena...

[Debra Russell]

I love to play at being a girl for I am a man and will always will be; however -- when I'am playing I am being a girl to satisfy my self and at that time I am a girl -- is that confusing? I am she and she is me............Debra

[boardpuppy]

I like playing but you know I wish Act III would hurry-up and get here, I want to know how this drama is going to turn out.

[SuzanneBender]

All the great things in life are playful. Love is playful. We find careers we enjoy playful. I don't feel like I am play acting when I am en femme. When I am en femme I am emphasizing the feminine facets of my personality and they are very playful!

Freddy you only need to worry about all of this if you start playing board games against yourself. Until then play all you want!

[Annie D]

I do think that most of us "play dress up" to a certain degree. When I am spending leisure time at home, dressing doesn't take on the same extent and passion that I have when I am even going to Walmart to shop for groceries. We talk about dressing appropriately and I for one, without taking a second to think about it, dress appropriately for everything I do.

When I go to work, I wear the clothing of a p.e. teacher/coach;
When I go golfing, I wear a golf shirt, shorts, visor/plantation hat/ cap;
When I go to to a sporting event, I dress like a fan;

We all play dress up, pretty much of the time. When I want to present myself as a female I don't want to look "butch" but rather ladylike.

[Cheryl T]

While I love playing "as a woman", I am not "playing at being a woman". I take this very seriously. It has not been about "dressing up" for me for a long, long time. It is part of my being, part of my psyche, and part of my life.
If Shakespeare was right and "all the world's a stage" then I am playing a role, but then aren't we all....mine just happens to include the expression of the woman in me.

[kendra_gurl]

[FONT="Book Antiqua"][SIZE="2"][COLOR="black"]
No doubt about it, I seek to emulate a certain example of “girl” that has either inspired me or tickled my fancy in some way. I dress like a girl, and all other aspects of my presentation match the clothes I choose to wear. I also behave and comport myself as a girl – I actively pretend to be one of these interesting creatures, even though "she" is purely a figment of my imagination. I take all of my favorite things, fold them together, and the end product is a girl...



I completely understand what your saying. This is where so many of us differ from others who say they are trapped in the wrong body or say they are compelled to dress. Like you, for me dressing and acting in a feminine manner is more like theater (play acting).

When I am stayin in and private I have much more flexability to exaggerate my makeup, my clothing, my mannerisms than I do when trying not to be noticed in public. It is very fullfilling and rewarding to endulge oneself in private RolePlay without any concern as to how silly it might be to anyone else.

[suchacutie]

What a fascinating question. That first time I dressed in front of my wife, that was playing. No forms, no wig, no makeup, and no real girl except for the fact of having to walk in 6" heels! No way you can walk like a guy in 6" heels.

But, within 3 days everything changed. Suddenly this "girl" had a name (Tina), and a realization that she was a part of me, and a significant part at that. Suddenly it was serious. Suddenly we both wanted to know who she is. Suddenly we realized how serious this was in that by admitting that there was a feminine part of me that I had become quite vulnerable in many ways. Suddenly life had changed.

Tina hasn't visited us in quite a while because of family circumstances, but she will return this Saturday. It will be interesting to see how she has changed in the interim (if at all). She wouldn't be nervous about her return if this wasn't so serious. Since that first day, it wasn't any longer "playing" at being a girl, it was "being" the serious woman that she is.

[Kaz]

Freddie you always nail things for me. This is so like I feel most of the time! Yes, I am playing... I also take it seriously, and I want to look as good as I can get with my limited resources... but yes, when I am presenting as Kaz I am in a playground - I am in Kaz world. And boy is it fun!

[RADER]

I totally enjoy putting on a dress, or skirt and top. Now if that is dress up, I guess you can say that;
being I am wearing a dress. (LOL)
I do not do make-up or a wig, But my wife has no objections of me getting into a dress.
Lately, I have been paging through the catalogs looking for the "Next Dress". asking my wife what she
thinks of this one. She does give good advice as to what would look good on me, and at the same
time, she says that I have more outfits that she has. Well, You can order some too; And she does.
3 Years ago, be fore I joined this forum, I would not having the guts to wear a dress as often as I do
now. I must thank everyone here for giving me the confidence in dressing, being that what I do is not a crime.
Rader

[Kate Simmons]

I fulfulled my quest and actually accomplished being one, with the exception of the obvious genetic parts.:)

[Jennifer Cox]

... I don’t dress my age, and the gap between my “real” appearance and my crossdressed (i.e. girl) appearance keeps widening every year. This may explain why I don’t make a big deal out of “passing,” or the need to pass, nor do I entertain the idea of meeting other CD “ladies” out in the real world. The truth is, I would stick out like a sore thumb, a “girl” among ladies who act (and dress) their age...

Would you like to “come out” and play with me? I promise you we’ll have a LOT of fun, as long as you don’t act your age!

Are you a girl, a lady, or something in-between? Also, do you feel you’re “playing” at all? :thinking:

Hi Freddy,

I'd love to come out and play - if only you weren't so far away!

As for sticking out like a sore thumb, I wouldn't let that worry you. It's just a matter of finding the right friends. However, if you really don't want to mix then that's fine too - each to their own. I can't "pass" and many of the TG's I've met are better looking than me, but I've made many good friends by joining in with the local girls! Luckily, my local group is very accepting and non-judgemental.

I'd like to think I was a girl, but my years say lady, although given my above statement I often feel like something in-between. For many years I could say I was playing, but now it's much more serious!

[carhill2mn]

Am I playing at being a girl? In a way, I am. When I was still nervous about going out in public en femme I would tell myself that I was an actor playing the part of a woman and I would do the best that I could to be convincing, just like a good actor. Now I am comfortable going anywhere en femme so, in a way, I have become the "character" I used to play.

[NicoleScott]

Frederique, perhaps you are describing a simple but in your own elegant way the difference between identity dressers and pleasure dressers. As a pleasure dresser, I play dressup on occasion. For others, as noted by their responses, it's more serious than that, and dress in feminine clothes to express their internal feminine identity. And, I suppose, for some it's somewhere in between.

[sallyissuper]

I'm a pleasure dresser, and when I do, I tell my wife I'm going to play.

[Rachel Morley]

I love the phrase "playing at being a girl" as 9 years ago when I met my wife and were having a long distance courtship I described my crossdressing just as that ... "playing at being a girl" the following week my wife sent me a card with two little girls on it playing with their moms clothes (over-sized shoes, pretty dresses, big floppy hat, lots of pearls etc) and one was putting lipstick on the other and she wrote "playing at being a girl? .... can I play too?" I cried like a baby when I read that.

[Rogina B]

Playing a girl all I can helps me cope with playing the boy part for money. Rogina means a whole lot to Roger.

[darla_g]

i guess for some it is playing, for others they might take real offense to that expression

[Frédérique]

I'd love to come out and play - if only you weren't so far away! I'd like to think I was a girl, but my years say lady, although given my above statement I often feel like something in-between. For many years I could say I was playing, but now it's much more serious!

I appreciate the sentiment! Girl is a cute word, and I much prefer it to “lady,” but, of course, a girl can be serious and a lady, too…:battingeyelashes:


Frederique, perhaps you are describing a simple but in your own elegant way the difference between identity dressers and pleasure dressers. As a pleasure dresser, I play dressup on occasion. For others, as noted by their responses, it's more serious than that, and dress in feminine clothes to express their internal feminine identity. And, I suppose, for some it's somewhere in between.

Yes, that’s a good answer regarding the difference between a crossdresser and a transgendered person – I believe there was a recent thread that asked that very question. I’m very much a MtF crossdresser, a transvestite, since I identify as a male but “play” at being a girl…


i guess for some it is playing, for others they might take real offense to that expression

I’m surprised there weren’t more negative responses, since the thread I lifted the title from was full of them. There is a wide range of variation within MtF crossdressing, so much so that you can never make a definite statement about this part of the “community.” One size, or one definition, does not fit all…
:straightface:

[Natalie D]

I can relate to so much of this. I've been CDing for years but I've only been taking it "seriously" for the last 18 months. I'd say most GG's wouldn't buy the clothes I do for my age and believe I do so because I missed out on dressing at an earlier age. I only dress at home but I now believe if I had started earlier I'd have been tempted out of the closet. I'd have stood a much better chance of passing 20 years ago.

So yes I'm playing when I dress. Role playing I suppose. I like to think I'm a young woman. I'd say I'm young for my age, in my music taste, clothes and general behaviour. So when dress I feel younger. In many ways I'm a girl with that special talent of having an extra 20 years of life's experiences on her young head.

I'm guessing a lot of us feel the same and enjoy letting "HER" out to play. For others its far more serious but for me its a yes. I'm still playing at being a girl and very much enjoying it thank you.

[Sue101]

It has always been obvious to me that crossdressers are role-playing. Those who are genuinely transgendered will think about it differently but most CDs dress for fun or relaxation. The point of play is to explore new feelings and situations and gain knowledge and experience. That is what we are doing when we cross genders, we stop being ourselves and begin playing at being a girl enjoying and learning along the way.

There are plenty of other examples of role-playing out there eg historical reenactment societies. These people gain similar satisfaction as CDs and they take the role-playing just as seriously. They demand all the details of their costumes and behaviors be as authentic as possible. They want their experience to be realistic because it makes them feel their experience is the same as the character's experience which creates the illusion that we have actually become the character. They even change their name and insist others use it. Sound familiar? They want total immersion as we do. We want to know "what it feels like"

The funny thing is nobody is pushing ideas that historical reenactment players do this because of genetics or hormones since they don't break an important taboo. We can all understand that this behavior stems from 1. a desire to leave behind your real self for a temporary trip into a fantasy and 2. the character we focus on is one which we find fascinating and engaging. We admire specific qualities and want to reproduce them in our play. We become connected to the character and the associated roleplay until it becomes second nature to slip into this alternate personality.

[Vale]

Hi Freddy,

Yes, for me it's sometimes a wonderful fantasy with lots of play acting and age-inappropriate attire and behavior. For that part of my crossdressing I feel like the closet offers me more freedom of expression than a more public situation would. I suppose that could change, but I have no reason to push it one way or the other.

At other times I prefer to be less outlandish, and dress up and act in a more mature fashion.

Overall, I am very fortunate in that my crossdressing is mostly just low stress fun.

Vale

[wanagione]

I don't think I play at being a girl. I actually think I play at being a guy.

[sometimes_miss]

Are you still PLAYING at being a girl? Well, seeing as I'm not one, then the answer is yes, in the eyes of outsiders, I'm still 'playing' at being a girl because that's what I feel like I am.

[Ally Anne]

It has always been obvious to me that crossdressers are role-playing. Those who are genuinely transgendered will think about it differently but most CDs dress for fun or relaxation. The point of play is to explore new feelings and situations and gain knowledge and experience. That is what we are doing when we cross genders, we stop being ourselves and begin playing at being a girl enjoying and learning along the way.

There are plenty of other examples of role-playing out there eg historical reenactment societies. These people gain similar satisfaction as CDs and they take the role-playing just as seriously. They demand all the details of their costumes and behaviors be as authentic as possible. They want their experience to be realistic because it makes them feel their experience is the same as the character's experience which creates the illusion that we have actually become the character. They even change their name and insist others use it. Sound familiar? They want total immersion as we do. We want to know "what it feels like"

The funny thing is nobody is pushing ideas that historical reenactment players do this because of genetics or hormones since they don't break an important taboo. We can all understand that this behavior stems from 1. a desire to leave behind your real self for a temporary trip into a fantasy and 2. the character we focus on is one which we find fascinating and engaging. We admire specific qualities and want to reproduce them in our play. We become connected to the character and the associated roleplay until it becomes second nature to slip into this alternate personality.

Thank you for so beautifuly "explaining" this! I especially like the comparison to historical reenactors. Your comments have helped me further understand what is seen by many as breaking a taboo. Gender seems to be the "great untouchable".

[Ava McGhee]

While I love playing "as a woman", I am not "playing at being a woman". I take this very seriously. It has not been about "dressing up" for me for a long, long time. It is part of my being, part of my psyche, and part of my life.
If Shakespeare was right and "all the world's a stage" then I am playing a role, but then aren't we all....mine just happens to include the expression of the woman in me.

I need say nothing. Not that I have anything to say in the first place.

[celeste26]

The typical "girl play" that GG's do as they grow into adulthood allows them to identify and act out the roles they will be performing as adult GG's. Even though most of us never had that experience as we were growing up we do have it now as we dress up. The GG girls really take the fantasies they have as kids and make what they will with them some achieve some don't but the idea of play is not pejorative at all for them, even the childhood fantasies the boys have about growing up to be the men they fantasize about is play too. Play is a profoundly important thing, kind of like sleep both are essential to sanity and yet our society seems to call them wasteful.

So if we "play" at being women is that such a bad thing? Even if there is no intention of realizing that fantasy the process is valuable to us.