Nasty Words from the Ex that Shook My Confidence [Archive] - Crossdressers.com - #1 Community & Forum for Crossdressers, Family and Friends

GirlieAmanda

07-21-2011, 02:40 AM

I created a new Facebook account just recently. Well it unintentionally created a stir with my ex. Somehow even though I never friended her or anyone she knew, I came up on her people she may know. I deleted the account. I just don't think I am ready for that exposure. I thought I was but I thought it would be more private with only me seeking friends. Anyway my ex sent me this message after she saw my profile I guess:

"Well sorry...I don't tolerate it. You r disgusting putting this out there. U r one UGLY woman. I could tell immediately that it was u and that u r a dude. Thanks for making me feel shitty....at least I finally know that we can't be friends and we'll have no more contact. U have no respect for me putting this out for everyone to see. It just ****ing came up on my page as someone I may know. Didn't u think that might happen. U ****ing suck."

This really hurt me. It was like a punch to the gut and my confidence. Now I am re-questioning my presentation. Either I am not as good as I think or she is just being really vicious. I am thinking it is the latter but I am still shaken a bit. As if I need another voice telling me that I am not pretty, I am manly, I am ugly, I am not passable, people are just being nice. I thought I had exorcised these demons but now they are creeping back thanks to my ex. I have had virtually no problems while out and even had a lady interact with me and just start talking about clothes spontaneously yesterday. I pass teenage girls, teen guys, ladies, men, old wise people and barely ever a look unless its a leer or a wanton look by a guy. No problems. Is everyone just being nice or polite? All I know is, everyone is not always nice. There are always going to be idiots or just giggly teens or something. I saw or noticed none of that when out recently. I was looking too. I was aware. Please tell me if I am not as girlie as I think.

This is the pic she saw and maybe this other one standing too

ChristinaXOXO

07-21-2011, 02:56 AM

Honey... she's just jealous! You're avatar looks 100% girlie too me =)

suzy1

07-21-2011, 03:05 AM

Amanda, I have looked at your picture and your avatar.
So you want my honest opinion? You look super girly!
And yes, you are dealing with a vicious woman here. What do you expect?
Do yourself a favour, put on the make up, look in the mirror and be impressed. I am.

Hugs, SUZY

joannemarie barker

07-21-2011, 03:09 AM

I don't know how it came up on her fb but i wish it hadn't,now after all the work you've put in and all the steps yoube taken you are back to being nervous and worrying about your passability.thing is if anyone in the world would recognise you it would be her.I still believe you are beautiful and totally passable.I think your ex has some serious issues and I think believe it or not some caring feelings for you too,she wouldn't get so irate otherwise.don't shy away after this hunny thats all I can say :)

jarts55

07-21-2011, 03:15 AM

Amanda,
You are not the ugly one, she is. I can certainly see why you are no longer married to her. I think you are hot and I wish I could look as good as you do.

Julie Ann

MaidJamie

07-21-2011, 03:17 AM

Amanda

You have absolutely nothing to worry about. To me, you rate as one of very few 100% passable tgirls I've seen here... and I'm not just saying that to make you feel better.

Forget what she said
Jamie

Karren H

07-21-2011, 03:34 AM

And you would expect an ex to say nice things??

prettytoes

07-21-2011, 03:40 AM

She's probably just jealous because you are more woman than she will ever be (and probably better looking, too!)

Kathy4ever

07-21-2011, 04:01 AM

looks very womanly to me too. I guess she is an ex for a reason. Go out on the time and enjoy. She says she can't be friends with you and I have to say who needs that kinda friend anyway

Patriciadtv

07-21-2011, 04:01 AM

she not right you are beautiful

Samantha_Smile

07-21-2011, 04:10 AM

To answer whether or not she was just being a b-i-t-c-h, or jealous, we really need to see what she looks like. Or failing that, tell us - is she attractive (scale of 1-10), is she overweight, previous self esteem issues?

From the outside looking in, it looks to me like an angry knee-jerk reaction, because honestly, from the pics you post of yourself, you could walk past me in the street and it wouldn't even enter my head that youre a CD.
You have very feminine facial features - narrow jaw, high/promenant cheekbones. Hell, I'm jealous!!! :D

On the topic of Facebook- Just ignore/block her?

PS good taste in music you have there! x

Diane Smith

07-21-2011, 04:19 AM

There is absolutely nothing wrong with your presentation. You are one of the prettiest and most convincing girls here. It's kind of shocking that someone could be so mean -- but she is absolutely wrong about your looks. You have nothing to worry about in that department. I'd happily trade for your face and body anytime!

- Diane

Maria in heels

07-21-2011, 04:20 AM

Amanda ......! Did we not have a long conversation last week?? You are a beautiful person that shines when you smile...nothing less than that. Your ex is a horrible and mean person, and does not seem to be able to just let things go, and is keeping the relationship doing thru attacks and insults, and is only worried about herself, as she clearly shows. All that she is worried about is how " the neighbors will take it " which is why she is so insulting and bitter with her words. Guess what? If she acts like this, don't pay her any mind, redo your Facebook and block her, and just BE YOURSELF! Didn't you notice that I accepted your friend request, and I really don't use Facebook at all...? Remember what I told you ... You have a wonderful chance to BE YOURSELF and just smile . Some of us in this world love you...remember that !

Gaby2

07-21-2011, 04:37 AM

...I thought it would be more private with only me seeking friends...
Anyway my ex sent me this message... "..."
This really hurt me...
All I know is, everyone is not always nice...
Please tell me if I am not as girlie as I think...
I'm sorry that your facebook outing caused you so much hurt Amanda.
You don't deserve it - and you do get the acknowledgement and credit you deserve for putting so much effort into your truely girlie appearance.
Take heart from that!
I know myself how hard it is to cope with spiteful comments from the Ex.
Ignoring her bitterness is everso difficult - but being like this is her choice.
:hugs:Gaby

Sometimes Steffi

07-21-2011, 04:43 AM

She's probably just jealous because you are more woman than she will ever be (and probably better looking, too!)

To answer whether or not she was just being a b-i-t-c-h, or jealous, we really need to see what she looks like. Or failing that, tell us - is she attractive (scale of 1-10), is she overweight, previous self esteem issues?

I totally agree. From your pictures, you are totally a 10 to me. If she's not a 10 also, maybe she is a little jealous of you.

From the outside looking in, it looks to me like an angry knee-jerk reaction, because honestly, from the pics you post of yourself, you could walk past me in the street and it wouldn't even enter my head that youre a CD.
You have very feminine facial features - narrow jaw, high/promenant cheekbones. Hell, I'm jealous!!! :D

I agree. narrow jaw, high/promenant cheekbones, thin eye brows, pouty lips, great hair and makeup, weight in proportion to height, and a wonderful illuminating smile. I think it's the smile that says it all. It's such a happy smile.

I think you ex might be suffering from what I call the Hillery sindrome. How could she [Hillery] have stayed with that man [Bill]. So she's concerned about what her friends will think about her being married to you.

Patricia Jane

07-21-2011, 04:45 AM

You look Lovely! Must be envivious.

Danni Renee

07-21-2011, 04:45 AM

Amanda, I think your ex is horrible for saying what she said. You are totally beautiful and I do not think anyone who saw your picture would ever think you are anything but an attractive woman. Keep the Facebook page and make certain she sees that you did. The problem is hers, not yours and you should not be restricted due to her issues.

Danielle

Gerrijerry

07-21-2011, 05:07 AM

[QUOTE=GirlieAmanda;2550113]I created a new Facebook account just recently. Well it unintentionally created a stir with my ex. Somehow even though I never friended her or anyone she knew, I came up on her people she may know. I deleted the account. I just don't think I am ready for that exposure. I thought I was but I thought it would be more private with only me seeking friends.

of course she is your ex and wants to hurt you anyway she can. AS for the unintenional friending of her. She could have just never gone there. Yes I would think that what she said would hurt you. That was her intent. What you need to do is to realize that she should not have that much effect on you any more.
I suggest you go back and do what you intended to do with that facebook account. Make new friends. Yes it is very hard to be out there and there will always be someone that says something. It happens to all of us. Just remember those kind of people are out there to hurt others because they are to afraid to admit that everyone has a right to be and dress the way they want. We all just have to stand up and go on with our lives the way we need to be. If your ex is so worried about someone seeing you and saying that the two of you were together it is only her problem not yours.
Last point you look fine and very passable. Now just sit down at the computer and start again.

Noortje

07-21-2011, 05:09 AM

Facebook is notorious for offering no control or privacy, so it was maybe not so clever of you to make that page, if you did not want to be outed. That being said, your ex is being a total bitch, and her comments are obviously fueled by surprise and bigotry (one of those is kind of on you). You look incredible and you are one of the girls on the forum I am most jealous of. You should not doubt your presentation. The information management needs a little work, though.

Dawna Ellen Bays

07-21-2011, 05:29 AM

You're positively beautiful, Amanda! There's nothing more that I can add that hasn't already been said, but I'm willing to bet that she's jealous of how you look and can present yourself. But at least now I know that I won't be creating my own Facebook profile anytime soon... :(

fun4metoo2004

07-21-2011, 05:57 AM

To hell with her. I think you look great. Both of the photos here show me that you present well, and are very sexy. It is a shame that some people cannot be happy for you.

Don't question your presentation. You go Girl!

Marie-Elise

07-21-2011, 06:01 AM

That just sounds like one more good reason to be happy she is your ex. What does being friends with her bring you? Doesn't sound like much except vindictiveness.

Iskandra

07-21-2011, 07:33 AM

Forget your ex.. Nasty clueless bitch she is.. Dang girl, yes girl, you walk into my place of work and thats what I'd see..
In the past i've picked 95% of genders when doing 'girl or guy' quizes... You'd be in the 5% i get wrong..
(ironically the ones I get wrong are gg's I think are trannies):heehee:
You live it up and indeed start a new facebook page, but sign up with a new and totally different email addie!

Staci G

07-21-2011, 07:43 AM

She is either A, blind B, drunk or C jealous and I mean BAD... you are absolutely beautiful. She sounds like my current wife and she has never seen Staci . I have a FB account as well and if she sees it to bad. Do not let a comment from anyone make you second guess your feminine self . You rock girl.

linda allen

07-21-2011, 07:45 AM

Amanda, you look great. Super great.

She's an ex for a reason. Leave it that way.

BLUE ORCHID

07-21-2011, 07:47 AM

Hi Amanda, Ugly Woman?? I think not, You are very beautiful and have an awesome body.

Orchid

Jocelyn Quivers

07-21-2011, 07:53 AM

As others have said your ex is extremely jealous. You look great do not change a thing.

Sara Jessica

07-21-2011, 07:59 AM

And you would expect an ex to say nice things??

Maybe the most practical comment here!!! ;)

But as for my thoughts...

First of all, it's not hard to find of cheerleading and enabling in these pages so comments sometimes need to be taken with a grain of salt.

Fortunately, the comments regarding your presentation are all right on the money.

You made a comment in your "real hair" picture thread that kind of struck me, that you see a wig as breaking up a perceived guy trait (shoulders). You said "Good or bad I don't like getting looks from women because I am paranoid they are bad looks."

Well Ms. Ex isn't doing much for your self-esteem and one of the hardest things to do in our world is to get over that hump when it comes to that combination of self-confidence and not giving a hoot as to what anyone else thinks.

Now I am re-questioning my presentation.

Don't.

Either I am not as good as I think or she is just being really vicious. I am thinking it is the latter..

I agree, it's the latter.

...but I am still shaken a bit.

Understandable.

As if I need another voice telling me that I am not pretty,

But you are.

I am manly, I am ugly,

But you're not.

I am not passable...

Hate that passable term, it's a holy grail that one truly never knows if they actually achieve when out among the Muggles.

...people are just being nice

So what if they are.

I pass teenage girls, teen guys, ladies, men, old wise people and barely ever a look unless its a leer or a wanton look by a guy. No problems. Is everyone just being nice or polite? All I know is, everyone is not always nice. There are always going to be idiots or just giggly teens or something. I saw or noticed none of that when out recently. I was looking too. I was aware.

Maybe no one is noticing you. Maybe they do notice and are being nice and polite. My advice is to try not to get too hung up on those things and admittedly, it's easier said than done but when it happens, you will enter a new state of grace with this whole thing.

And like that silly t-shirt that is sold for $3 at most tourist traps out there, "Don't Let The Turkeys Get You Down".

Please tell me if I am not as girlie as I think.

I think you are very pretty as does everyone else here...and that is NOT cheerleading, it's a fact.

Starr

07-21-2011, 08:20 AM

i have canceled everything I had on face book, i kept getting emails that someone wanted to hear from me, when I know they didn't. That and the you may know this person had people I had never heard of let alone know. Facebook wants to get into your life and know you better then you know yourself, and then let the world know about you. I will never be back on Facebook as star.. and more then likely as anyone else.

That being said Amanda, your ex is being a bitch I would bet you look better then her and that is her problem.

star

Shelly67

07-21-2011, 08:22 AM

Don't take it to heart , easier said than done but it's true . So is this - spite comes from many a different reason and direction . You have nothing to worry about your looks , as others have firmly stated . Sorry , but with such a nasty temprement , I think your better off without a such relationship .

Now Facebook .
A warning - it is a life tracker . It's often used by employers to spy and collect behaviourable information on staff . Here in the UK some individuals have been dismissed for comments ( even in humour ) about they're employers and even for private pastimes . I thought on hearing this , it's a joke , but it made the press . It's REAL.
So please , think on , privacey is tight enough as it is ...................

Wendy_Marie

07-21-2011, 09:03 AM

What you just experienced with your ex is a true girl fight...this is how women attack each other...

Tina B.

07-21-2011, 09:17 AM

The last place I would look for an opinion, is from my ex wife, it took about ten years before we could even talk civility to each other.
Tina B.

Stephenie S

07-21-2011, 09:30 AM

For goodness sake, dear. It's your EX! Whatever did you expect? A compliment?

Move on, girl.

S

Kaitlyn Michele

07-21-2011, 09:36 AM

its your ex...move on..

you are obviously very attractive and it's only going to get better for you ...

my kids tell me how ugly i look all the time even though i know that i am drop dead gorgeous..:doh:

no more fishing for compliments...!! :D :hugs:

Pythos

07-21-2011, 09:56 AM

A). She is your Ex. Why do you still let her control you? Put your face book back up, and put her and her cronies on "ignore".

B) She sounds like a very bitter person for some reason, as well as full of hate. Now I do not know what happened between you two, but from what I read she is as I describe.

C) Kill her with kindness, if not, then find yourself a CD loving woman that blows your ex away (or a man if that is how you roll).

You look fine, there is nothing "ugly" about your look, but there is plenty ugly about your ex. With friends like that who needs enemies.

The thing concerning face book. It is a social networking place, and being that there are many job coaches that encourage people to have accounts on such places. I fragging hate the fact that a place that was meant for a fun place to meet people and express oneself has infact become yet another job related thing that constraints must be applied to.

Julogden

07-21-2011, 10:13 AM

It's clear that her words were intended to hurt you, nothing else. She's spewing hate at you, that's all. Her words are lies.

You're pretty and feminine in your photos, good enough to pass from what I can see. Of course, that's not all that's involved in passing, but from what I've read of your experiences in public, it sounds to me like you're very passable. I've seen your video on your Flickr page, and you have a nice, feminine voice too. The only improvement I could suggest would be to grow your own hair. All in all, I'd be thrilled if I could pass as well as you.

All that said, in my experience, almost no one passes 100% of the time. If you're going to succeed at living as you want, it sounds to me like you're going to need to develop a thicker skin. You will probably be read as being male on occasion, but you can't let that bother you. I've known a few TS's personally, some of them amazingly passable, and they all got read as being male once in a while (even post-op), but they didn't let it bother them.

So hang in there and ignore your ex's venomous words. She was only trying to hurt you, nothing else.

Carol :hugs:

Leslie Langford

07-21-2011, 10:30 AM

Amanda, from the language she uses and the way she expresses herself in her note to you, your ex sounds like a class act (NOT!) and a real piece of work. Whatever did you see in her in the first place???

Sorry to say, but you really do seem to have self-esteem issues if you not only allowed someone as controlling as that to enter into your life, but also to have such an impact on it - both while you were married and afterwards. I say "good riddance!", and that it is high time to close that chapter of your book once and for all. Let her stew in her bitterness - it couldn't happen to a more deserving person, from what I can see.

B.T.W. - you look gorgeous - many GG's should look half as good. Clearly, the ex is insanely jealous and just couldn't handle the competition, among all of her other issues...

GirlieAmanda

07-21-2011, 10:41 AM

I woke up here to these really great answers. I am enjoying every last one so much. You are all so precious to me. I mean that. With each comment you are returning my confidence which, I may add, was only shaken not stirred. LOL. I love how people are seeing my ex EXACTLY as she is. She was so mean and nasty for probably 18 out of 20 years and almost all of my 15 year marriage. The last 10 after she found out were the worst culminating with this last one. She does have serious issues. She is fairly attractive. Pretty face which I liked. About 113 lbs due to starving herself and massive exercise. BUT, she has gone from regular girl to having her tongue, belly, and down "there" pierced. She has gotten tattoos on her lower back, neck, and leg and she has gotten dermals as they call them. There are two implants near her collarbone that she can hang a chain from. I think this is really hardcore and very hard to look at. Then she complains that no one will love her. She is with a married man and is hoping he will leave his wife. Still though, we were together for a long time. She can still hurt me if I let her. I know better now.

ReineD

07-21-2011, 10:46 AM

Someone above said that she's just jealous and honestly I don't think that's it. I think she does have insecurity issues, but rather she is afraid that others will think less of her for having been married to a transwoman. The homo/transphobia doesn't just affect men. Women can also feel judged for being with a male partner that violates current social norms. If the two of you were still in love she might try to get past this for the sake of her marriage, but I imagine it's even worse now that you're divorced, since divorces don't bring out the best in people under most circumstances.

She did say things that she never should have said, but the way she sees you is colored by her own fears and the way she has known you in the past, and not how you look now. You don't look like a dude, so please banish the thought! :)

Badtranny

07-21-2011, 10:46 AM

Mando,

Yer the bomb girl and your ex is a rancid bitch.

Please don't let her control you anymore. Hold your head high and push through this.

They may never accept us, but by God they will respect us.

SherriePall

07-21-2011, 10:49 AM

Amanda -- First, let me say this about Facebook: I have my privacy set to friends only. Yet, I every time I go on, I get lots of "people you know you may want to befriend."
Now, I know a lot of people, but 99 per cent of these hundreds of people I don't know either personally or otherwise. I think what they do is pick people out of the same geographic area. In my case it seems to be a rather large area, but that's the way I think it works.
As for your ex, she sounds like a winner. She may still have an emotional attachment to you. Otherwise, she could care less what you do now. Just be careful.
And, now, Amanda, you look great. I especially love the way your lips and eyebrows look. I am jealous. Your ex may be, too.
Take care

larry

07-21-2011, 10:51 AM

Facebook has NO privacy. We all know that. Here is my input for you.
1 You have heard from me about how HOT you are. That being said maybe I could read you if we met in the mall. I would still say HOT !!
2 I think I can see how an ex may be so embarrased to see your public persona on FB. All her friends and lots more will see it. Damage is done. You need to be prepared for fallout.
Not sure if getting rid of that account will help. Maybe you should contact FB and see if they can help you get rid of it ?
3 You are beautiful !!

Lorileah

07-21-2011, 10:53 AM

Well I see absolutely no question why she is your "ex". Does she honestly think you started the account to make feel bad?

I have been in similar positions but they centered around my MIL who is so spiteful and angry that she spreads evil where ever she goes. The exact "ugly" comment. Being the jerk I am I had the answer for her "Have YOU looked in YOUR mirror lately?"

You look mahvelous dahlink. Don't let petty insecure angry (wait while I look up more adjectives) people bring you down. One day she will awaken and find that her life is exactly what she made it.

Barbra P

07-21-2011, 10:54 AM

Hi Amanda
Your Avatar looks fantastic and seeing it I would never guess that the person in that picture was anything but a lovely young woman. I’m frequently accused of being brutally honest and I have to admit that with the first picture I would be a bit suspicious; I think it is the makeup – maybe a little over the top. But in saying that I need to clarify one thing, I’m not passing you in a mall, I’m scrutinizing the picture, close up on my monitor and I can take as much time as I want to examine it. In the second picture you look better and the eye makeup is a little less extreme. At night in a club or night-spot the first you would probably look fine.

There is a way to set up a fb account and keep it private. You must have a new Email account and you must access both your Email and fb with a browser that you use only for that Email account and fb – never access anything that you access with your regular browser. For example, if you normally use Internet Explorer, download Firefox or Chrome and use one of those to setup your new Email and fb accounts. Never use your new browser to access any of your other accounts such as this site, any other Email accounts you may have or fb – if you do fb will link your accounts. It’s a bit of a pita but it will keep your Amanda Email and fb account private and you won’t be popping up as a possible Friend on current Friend’s pages or the pages of those Friends.

We really never know just how passable we are – well I know, because I’m not at all passable. I am a firm believer that the majority of people that do read you will never say anything, but the vast majority of people you pass while out and about are just to wrap up in their own lives to even notice those around them unless there is something that is so totally out of place as to attract undue attention. Getting back to your first picture, there is nothing in that picture that would attract undue attention and most people passing you at the mall are either not going to notice you at all. Or they are going to think "Oh wow, what a hot chick.”

Some breakups are amiable and some are not and those that are not tend to really ugly. Your ex-SO’s true nature just came out, and maybe it is better that it surfaced now rather than later. The best thing you can do now is to remain pleasant to your ex, take the abuse, and move on. Remaining nice will probably infuriate your ex, that tends to happen when one person losses it and the other remains calm and continues to act as if nothing is bothering them. It is time to move on, and find a new SO.

It may be difficult for you if you had strong feelings for your ex, but try and project an air of indifference over the breakup. Especially around anyone that knows your ex – it will get back to your ex that you don’t seem particularly bothered by the breakup and that will have a greater effect than retaliating in kind with name calling.

Good luck, forget your ex as best you can and get on with your life.

SamanthaS

07-21-2011, 10:59 AM

I think she was just trying to hurt you based on these photos you look great hon:)

Emily Ann Brown

07-21-2011, 12:10 PM

Shake it off!

My Ex says worse stuff about me...but she takes the $500 a week. Like I thought she won't...HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Em

Alice B

07-21-2011, 12:29 PM

I agree 100% with everything Sara said. You look beautiful in your shots and all female. Your ex is just that your EX! Nothing she says counts and without doubt she is jealous.

Adriennegrl

07-21-2011, 12:50 PM

I'll give you a short and sweet reply, you look amazing!

I can understand how that would rock the boat but keep paddling girl!

Violetgray

07-21-2011, 01:04 PM

I think I should point out that people you know are more likely to read you. I don't believe in giving people a false sense of confidence, but when she says "I knew it was a guy, and I knew it was you" .. she had already seen your face every day for years.

Also, being a t-girl is not easy, it can be a difficult personal journey, and she's all like "How can you do this to ME?" ....Seriously??

Shananigans

07-21-2011, 01:19 PM

She's your ex! You broke up for a reason! She knows exactly what to say to hurt you. Stop allowing her to have power over you! You look absolutely fine. Recognize a hateful b*tch when you see one and don't let her get to you.

Mikaela

07-21-2011, 01:23 PM

I was wondering why you disappeared so quickly, but I suppose I found you as quick as she did due to the recommendation system probably connecting an email address or contact you've done before. I hate that it tries to connect me to people with zero or one mutual friend.

You coming up on anyone's list isn't in your control, but if you want me to walk you through a bunch of settings that will limit your cross-contamination, I will.

Point by point to her email - hah, I'm such a bitch:
"I don't tolerate it. You r disgusting putting this out there." - F her. You don't need her permission any more than she needed yours for the piercings.
"U r one UGLY woman. I could tell immediately that it was u and that u r a dude." - Not every woman is a model, not everyone is pretty on the outside, she's ugly on the inside. I could tell immediately that she was a troll. (not to mention you've confided in me about stuff before, so I know that's true)
"Thanks for making me feel shitty" - Glad to see that she'd rather make someone else feel shitty, too. She's a keeper. *snort/sarcasm*
"at least I finally know that we can't be friends and we'll have no more contact." - Make sure she honors that deal. Block her on FB when you reactivate. Ignore her emails or set up filters.
"U have no respect for me putting this out for everyone to see." - She has no respect for your feelings and never has (based on our past convos). She's used this as leverage before to get her way. F her. And may I point out .... this is not about her.
"It just ****ing came up on my page as someone I may know. Didn't u think that might happen. U ****ing suck." - DGAF (good words to live by. don't give a f."

The support on here is great, but it can also be a little one sided. You should question your presentation if it means something to you, but it should not be because of a troll. We usually aren't as good as we think, but it's ok to challenge ourselves and our insecurities.

anonymousinmaryland

07-21-2011, 01:38 PM

She was upset and viscious. You would certainly turn a LOT of heads in my neighborhood.

tiffanytrapt19

07-21-2011, 01:46 PM

Hun, ignore her, she is just being viscous and by doing so, makes herself the ugly one. Ever heard the saying "Some of the worlds most beautiful people are the most hideous", well maybe not those exact words but, that is all it is. I think you truly do look 100% passable, and I'm speaking the truth, not just being nice. If I saw you out and about yes I would be looking at you, but only cause I'd be checking you out LOL.

As for the FB thing, I didn't read all the comments so idk if someone has said this so I apologize for a repeat comment if so. But FB gives you "People you might know" by looking at location, age, High School, Work, things like that, so if you do decide to make another one, simply put yourself on the other side of the country and make yourself 10 years younger if you want to avoid that happening with other people you do know and still keep in touch with. As for your ex, well, she's your very unsupportive EX, I know it still hurts and is hard but, just ignore what she thinks/says, it's not yours to deal with anymore.

suchacutie

07-21-2011, 02:09 PM

Wow...your ex is one very insecure woman and somehow still sees her ego tied to you. Let me try to address a couple of points that haven't yet been overly mentioned:

1) We've often said that it's hard to tell from a pic if we can pass or not because it's a combination of looks, decorum, and voice. Given that, there is no way at all that she can tell you are anything but a GG from your pics. The pictures of you that I have seen have inevitably been well done and don't give off male "clues". Your cheekbones are fantastic and your complexion is always flawless, along with a small Adam's
Apple. Anyone would be hard pressed to see you as a male.

2) A while back my wife asked "Tina" to visit, and then she said, "tonight I'm going to teach Tina how to be bitchy!" I gave her a funny look and she went on to explain that if Tina was going to understand more about being a woman then she had to understand how women deal with each other in a negative way. Then she smiled and said, "this may be harder for you to learn than almost anything else!" Getting back to this thread, it seems that you haven't yet learned how to be "bitchy" or you would have recognized your ex's attack as the kind of snotty things Tina is supposed to say when she's being a real bXXXh! In fact, you should be flattered that she is treating you like a woman!!!!

ROFL...yes, I really do think that I've hit it just right...in all her bluster the fact is that your ex is now treating you like a woman she really dislikes! congratulations!!!!

tina

Loretta

07-21-2011, 02:17 PM

Girl, I would KILL for that face/body.
Well, no, not really, but you get my point, yeah?
She's extremely jealous of you. You're BEAUTIFUL!

kendra_gurl

07-21-2011, 02:38 PM

I'm really suprized no one has said this yet. OF COURSE she said "I could tell immediately that it was u and that u r a dude" she knows you she has seen you before and does not like it so she wants to try to hurt you. You would know her from her tats and piercings and could say things if it was you nature to hurt her.
You could even have cosmetic surgery and she would probably still see thru it an know it is you. The point is no one else will know so just accept her for the bitch she is and get on with your life and enjoy it the way YOU want.

carhill2mn

07-21-2011, 02:42 PM

It may not have been the best idea to open a facebook account but the response by your ex was "over the top". I think that you look better than a great many genetic girls/women so do not let those remarks (even though they hurt you now) stop you from enjoying your fem time. Sometimes, a "thick skin" is required.

jetta

07-21-2011, 03:39 PM

Your ex must either be BLIND or jealous cause there is no way you could be considered looking like a guy!

donnatracey

07-21-2011, 03:44 PM

I agree! You are gorgeous and if she thinks you are ugly then she is just being mean and vindictive OR she needs to have her eyes checked......:eek:

Don't let her get you down.....just be happy she is an "ex"....:)

JamieG

07-21-2011, 03:52 PM

Amanda,

I've seen many pictures of you, and you truly are one of the prettiest girls on this board, prettier than many GGs in fact. That said, I kind of agree with Barbara who said:

Your Avatar looks fantastic and seeing it I would never guess that the person in that picture was anything but a lovely young woman. I’m frequently accused of being brutally honest and I have to admit that with the first picture I would be a bit suspicious; I think it is the makeup – maybe a little over the top.

I don't think the two pictures you showed here were your best pictures. Does that give your ex a reason to go off like that? H-E-double-hockey-sticks NO! It sounds like good riddance to me. Given all of the body modifications she's done, it's interesting that she is so negative on your "alternative" lifestyle... seems a bit hypocritical to me. She might make an interesting paper for a psychologist someday. Be proud of who you are and move on with your life!

Jilmac

07-21-2011, 04:02 PM

Don't worry dear, If it's from your ex, it's really meaningless and shouldn't be taken to heart. She may be jealous because you actually look prettier than her. As far as your pic, you don't look as bad as she says.

KarenCDFL

07-21-2011, 04:10 PM

You look totally feminine and fantastic! Please don't let your ex's anger and her low self esteem get you down.

You are one drop dead gorgeous lady!

Eryn

07-21-2011, 04:10 PM

If I had seen your photos in a magazine I would have had no reason to question that they depicted anything but an attractive woman. Your ex is full of it.

Your ex obviously doesn't like you. She'll grasp at anything to use against you and your self-confidence was a weak spot that she could exploit. Be strong and refuse to give her that permission to hurt you! If you want that facebook page, leave it up. Your ex doesn't have to acknowledge its existence at all!

MisterMark_1

07-21-2011, 04:15 PM

i personaly think that u look beautiful, and i wish i couldlook as goodas you! xx

Jenna81

07-21-2011, 04:39 PM

Honey...you are beautiful!!! She's just jealous!!!

Debb

07-21-2011, 07:00 PM

Amanda, here's the thing: your ex knows you by your male side. She immediately recognized you in the photos; she knows "you're a man", her ex; she jumped to calling you non-passable simply because she already knew.

If any one of us saw you walking down the sidewalk, walking down the aisle, or across the table from us, we wouldn't know the difference. You seem to have really shocked your ex; maybe it triggered a really visceral, vicious reaction, or maybe she is really a nasty person ... either way, you are a woman; a beautiful woman.

ReineD

07-21-2011, 07:04 PM

Jason+

07-21-2011, 08:09 PM

Amanda,

I was glad to read that it only shook and is recovering. It sounds like you've already considered the source and are working on giving the lack of further consideration it has earned. Our paths forward are different, I don't know how it feels to need to be a complete woman but you would be a standard to emulate for sure. Divorces suck all the way around, my first wife threw everything she could at me from using the kids as pawns to claiming I was using my military service to avoid my family obligations. If I or she would have known about the extent of me it would have been used as ammo.

Send her a card as I have a time or two considered sending mine; Thank you for allowing me the ability to use the expression "My first wife!" or simply Pemissum illegitmi congelo in atrum.

Edyta_C

07-21-2011, 08:13 PM

Amanda,
Beieve me you not a dude in those pictures! Not gorgeous but attractive. Your ex is mean and vicious/ Probably Jealous also.

Hugs Edy

Momarie

07-21-2011, 08:17 PM

Thank you ReineD.....

Adriennegrl

07-21-2011, 08:27 PM

Sheren Kelly

07-21-2011, 08:51 PM

Your moving on has hurt her, and now she wants to hurt you; no mystery.
How you deal with it will say a lot about you. Try to be a better person and let her vent, but don't take any of it onboard. You have found a path that is right for you. Until she finds her path (and that includes letting go), she will never be happy.

Miranda09

07-21-2011, 08:55 PM

She sounds awfully self-centered. Don't let it bother you. You have a new life, so live it up and make new friends. :)

toriwilliams

07-21-2011, 09:09 PM

the very first time i saw your picture i thought, damn she's beautiful (and you are still beautiful.)

suchacutie

07-21-2011, 09:29 PM

Reine, the ex wasn't insecure in her femininity, just insecure in her being, and being nasty :)

tina

AliceJaneInNewcastle

07-21-2011, 09:30 PM

I have to agree with most of the comments here to the effect that she is just being nasty to you. Reine is right that it might not be jealousy, but the wording of the insult was effective at upsetting you. Your appearance is not just fine, it's great.

I'd seriously suggest that you re-enable your facebook account (most are only deactivated, not genuinely deleted), if you still have the PM, report the abuse to FB, then block her. She doesn't have the right to limit your social interactions.

The most common way that people find others "out of the blue" on facebook is by uploading the contact list from email, such as yahoo or hotmail, and if she's your ex, it could even have been because she had your email address from before you separated. If you want to cut down on any possible problems with people you don't want contact with, make sure that no email address that they might have is connected to your facebook account. If necessary, create a new account on google, yahoo or wherever, add that account to your facebook account, then delete the existing email address.

pinto

07-22-2011, 12:19 AM

I can just repeat all the others comments: you are beautiful and i wish to look the same as you. unfortunately i don't. many many women would be proud to look that good as you do. keep on going, there is nothing to loose your confidence on!!!

t-girlxsophie

07-22-2011, 02:41 AM

I feel a bit weird complimenting CDs on their looks,what I will say is you have a good heart,and your ex sounds very bitter and is lashing out at you.Don't let her get you down,I have a feeling what was said was just to make you doubt yourself,don't give her the satisfaction

Sophie

Phylis Nicole Schuyler

07-22-2011, 02:58 AM

Amanda;
You are beautiful and don't let anyone tell you differently. She saw how good you looked and the big green monster roared its head. Maybe it was the poster in the background that flagged her first. Once you know that something is familiar to where you've lived or been, you can place a name with face. You're better off without her. May the fleas of a thousand camels infect where she sits!! Thats my 2 cents.
Hugs;
Phylis

wanagione

07-22-2011, 07:08 AM

Sweetie, take heart! You are gorgious! She is just jealous and angry and selfish, she even said don't you care about what others will think of her, not you but her. Go live your life without her and her opinions!

tinachristina

07-22-2011, 07:23 AM

You are hot and no reason to get upset by her ramblings. People would be jealous if you are successful in real life. Do you pay any attention to them ? Don't do it here as well :)
Best wishes and love.
Tina

Sophiewouldbenice

07-22-2011, 07:57 AM

@GirlieAmanda, thats awful - you look good! Much better than me :) By the way even my mother told me, that I would never look like a cute girl, as I told her about much crossdressing, even told me I had some kind of schizophrenic disorder, she telling me to stop it, complaining about everything more female looking I do, or my hair (fortunately doesn t hurt me, but I feel sorry for my mother). So refusal by people who have been close seems to be pretty normal for me :(, even if they love you, well your ex doesn't do this obviously.

tinachristina

07-22-2011, 08:47 AM

This is a major pet peeve for me, so I'll speak up since so many have mentioned it in this thread: the GG feeling jealous.

I hate to burst bubbles, but it simply isn't true that when GGs are angry with CDers, it is because they are jealous. In fact, GG's tend to admire women who are beautiful, just like a guy might admire men who've worked out ... neither of these things give cause to behave spitefully against someone. The idea that a GG might be mean to another girl because she's pretty describes, maybe, the middle-school years. This does NOT describe adult GGs. Besides, by the time a woman is an adult, she is secure in her femininity, believe me. :)

But, maybe it makes a CDer feel good if she likes to thinks that GGs are jealous or CDers? I think comments saying how "jealous" GGs are, are rather petty and do not reflect well on those who say them.

I am sorry but this is not correct at all. I would like to burst a bigger bubble. GG are jealous not because they are riding in their feminity. They are jealous because they are . Why do we need to find a reason , as if the guy who was dressing was responsible for something that caused her outburst.
Let me give you this example . Watch this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHV86hBdFT0. As you can see on the faces of women when they see a guy looking like Marylin Monroe looking far far beautiful than them.
It show on their face "How the..... this guy looks so beautiful and feminine". Feminity is not a property of women and we should not associate feminity to women in today's genderless( or free word). She was jealous because guy looked good or probably better than her. Accept it and stop assuming that they are comfortable in their feminity. No one can tell that. This is my pet peeve that feminity is associated with women. Nice gender stereotype.

DonniDarkness

07-22-2011, 08:48 AM

AMANDA ATTENTION:

Friend, I have four sisters of varying ages, One Sister in law who has grown up around my household, and a big handful of girl cousins. I will tell you right now i have seen more jealousy (between/amongst/over each other) for some of the most obscure reasons known to man. I have broken up many fights between my sisters over this very subject. There will always be someone that will be jealous of that you have. Some may tell you straight to your face, some will keep it to themselves, and some will find a way to tear you down so that way they feel power over you. As in hurting you emotionally is their way of making themselves deny the fact that they are hurting themselves. You have to stop and think about where her anger towards you comes from....from the words that i read she is hurt because she feels that others who know you, will see that you are very pretty and it makes her question her own beauty....(im serious as a heart attack)

When i showed my cousin my first pic of me crossdressed, there was a long pause..the kind of pause that makes you wonder if you shouldnt crawl back into the closet...(im thinking....Great...) And she says finally...."You know it kinda sucks that im a girl and your prettier than me".....i was in shock.....not the answer i was expecting......i was mentally prepared for the whole "Burst of laughter followed by making fun of me at my expense"....But i got an answer that was reflecting on her opinion of herself....(get what i mean?) Although my cousin is truly a head turner, something in the pic made her compare her beauty to mine. Even over the fact that everyone that comes in contact with her can see she is very pretty. She was not hurtful towards me but there was a hint of jealousy about my crossdressing.

Something else that i think id like to share with you amanda. My wife taught me long ago that "being beautiful is not about what other people think its about how you perceive yourself". When i first heard it i thought she had fell off the Buddhists Bus....
years later i now know what she meant. You have to just KNOW you are beautiful and then others will recognize it appropriately.

Ru Paul said at the end of one of the drag race seasons: "You Shouldn't have to have anyone tell you are beautiful because you know you ARE beautiful" (wifey and i were watching it together...we just looked at each other and smiled)

Another one of my favorite quotes from him is this: "my goal is to always come from a place of love ...but sometimes you just have to break it down for a mother8888er" — Rupaul (http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/180188.Rupaul)

Dont let what your hurtful ex says effect you in a demeaning way, find your confidence...Isnt that what are veteran Out and About members say? "Confidence is the best tool for passing"

Heres a silly quote i tell myself from time to time when im feeling "fugly"

"No matter who you are or what you look like...someone saw you today and said "Damn they are hot!!" -Henry Rollins-

If it were me in your shoes i would have took her words as a sign that im doing something right, so eff her and her BS

Being Beautiful,
-Donni-

PS here in the first few minutes (trust me it will make you laugh and feel better)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K443mMXckks

Eve II

07-22-2011, 12:56 PM

You are way beyond passing - I think you could easily be full time!! Like others have stated-
she's a ex with a "axe to grind"

kendra_gurl

07-22-2011, 01:47 PM

I hate to burst bubbles, but it simply isn't true that when GGs are angry with CDers, it is because they are jealous. In fact, GG's tend to admire women who are beautiful, just like a guy might admire men who've worked out ... neither of these things give cause to behave spitefully against someone. The idea that a GG might be mean to another girl because she's pretty describes, maybe, the middle-school years. This does NOT describe adult GGs. Besides, by the time a woman is an adult, she is secure in her femininity, believe me. :)

.

Reine: Have you not been watching this season of Big Brother? (CBS) Last night's eviction was the perfect example of female jealousy over another female. They all talked about it.

What you say may be true for GG's who think of themselves as attractive too. But so many women have such low self esteem that they do have feelings of jealousy of the Hair or the makeup or the figure of another woman or even more of a CD.

Kerigirl2009

07-22-2011, 01:51 PM

I am not just trying to be nice, but all I see is girl in those pictures.
She just sees you as a man and has the ability to look through the outer shell, so your EX is just being viscious because she recgonizes you as how she remembers, and others might also, but to others like myself, that don't know you as a man, those pictures are all girl, IMHO.
You look great

Lissa Stevens

07-22-2011, 01:54 PM

If I was out and saw you I would never suspect you were not a gg. The only reason you might catch me staring is my wishing I was as pretty as you are.

GirlieAmanda

07-22-2011, 02:21 PM

OK. I have to take this opportunity to thank every poster here. Don't know how many will read this. You have helped me not only exorcise the demon that is my ex, but I actually feel BETTER than before the incident happened. So not only did you help me pick myself up and dust myself off, you have helped me get stronger. I did myself mostly but your genuine, honest help really made me think and feel so strong. I know many people dis this site for its self congratulating, smoke blowing, What Color are your panties, etc. postings, but I swear to God I feel this site is well worth my time. It has so many great people on it that have helped me change my life so much. OK I am getting a chill here. Wooo. Keep it together. When there is a unanimous decision like on this thread, with so many different people, with so many different lives, and so many opinions, how can that be wrong? I HAVE to believe it. I know that you would tell me the truth if I asked.

I would like to take this opportunity to say that I am most likely a transsexual woman. Woo! That feels good to admit. This is a new feeling...but actually an old one really. I have known forever. What a surprise, right?;) So your support now means more than ever. Its getting real for me. You know what naysayers, my panties are grey today..so nyahh! That is a fun thread morons. They don't get it. This thread is affecting my life. How much more important can you get? You can have fun...and you have seriousness. Thank You so very much to y'all and especially the site itself.

lynn_lynn

07-22-2011, 02:46 PM

first off , your picture is amazingly beautiful.. :battingeyelashes:

back when I come home from Iraq, I figured since that final chapter was over in my life. It was time to be myself again.
Of course not without cleaning up the baggage of my past..
While I was in Iraq my ex took $4,700.00 spent it on crack cocaine.
When I returned I wanted nothing to do with her. If I had the option of using the sheriffs or Al Qaeda to get her out my home. I would of choose the later.

Leaving most my email account the same, the *pig* to put it so nicely sent me a message, "I Hope you and your bf enjoy the buttplug".. I mean really is that the only insult she has?. Being that I was in the Army, I was actually amused by this pitiful comment..

How does someone sink to a level of pigness like that when I was just overseas for close to 2 yrs. What did she think I was doing over there, building sand castles while in a bikini? As I said I was just amused by her comment. Basically there was no such thing as FB when I was discharged.

When I discovered FB I befriended her with a FB mafia name and bombed her FB with video, pictures of the pigsty beer cans, crack paraphernalia she left behind in my home. Disgusting vile thing she was, I cant imagine why I ever liked her to begin with. She has Halitosis, is overweight< crack dont seem to take the weight off either lol. Not very lady like in manners, and more a Butch type women if anything..

Probably the most embarrassing day of her life to have messed with me, and normally I dont retaliate cause I really dont care. But being that I was in Iraq and my brother, Who's birthday is today btw) was killed state side in a fleeing the police accident. He was a troubled kid. I was a little shattered that my family was dying faster than insurgents.

I dont believe many of her so called friends knew her at all, or the type of trash she really was... Til that very day I found her on FB and gave her what she deserved. She didnt see it coming because it had been a while..

But Revenge is a dish best served cold...

I couldnt have worn any her clothing anyways, she overweight and Im not into baggy jeans and generic van shoes. :heehee:

Eryn

07-22-2011, 03:06 PM

...I know many people dis this site for its self congratulating, smoke blowing, What Color are your panties, etc. postings, but I swear to God I feel this site is well worth my time. It has so many great people on it that have helped me change my life so much. ...You can have fun...and you have seriousness. Thank You so very much to y'all and especially the site itself.

You have it exactly right. There are some with an ax to grind who cite certain threads to prop up assertions that we and our discussions are superficial, but in any real community the varous conversations range from trivial to deadly serious. This site has been very helpful to me in understanding a bit more about myself.

karinrochelle

07-22-2011, 03:20 PM

Amanda, you really do look great, Like a real GG, Ive had some women Ive dated except and support me in my x dressing most did not and I could only dream of coming close to how great you look!!!!!

Ash Leland

07-22-2011, 03:31 PM

Believe me you're fine.

I'm sure you've come across a wide variety of reactions other people on this site have had from their ex's, but I think it's safe to say that when it's that hostile and that personal it has more to do with their inability to process this side of you rather than any real problem you might have with passing.

Fab Karen

07-22-2011, 07:49 PM

Your ex was just being a super-bitch. You're girly and you look good ( and I don't tell anyone that if it isn't my personal TRUE opinion ). Want even further validation? Dress up pretty & stand on a street corner with a sign that says SINGLE. Expect the football-style team-tackle.

With FB, use an email for the account that doesn't even have 6 degrees of separation from people like your ex.

Amanda Styles

07-22-2011, 09:19 PM

I have to agree, jealousy! She probably would not look as good in the same outfits.

DaniJean

07-22-2011, 10:41 PM

I agree, she is jealous. You are a beautiful woman, realizing a dream of yours. She's running around with a married man hoping he leaves his wife, don't think too many people dream of being the "one on the side." She wants to bring you down to her misery and she knows, because of how long you were together, how to hit you where it hurts. Stay strong girl,you've done so much and accomplished so much. She's you're ex-, that means has been. Don't give her any control over anything. Hang in there and be strong, you're beautiful and amazing.

Momarie

07-22-2011, 10:50 PM

Tinachristina said"
I am sorry but this is not correct at all. I would like to burst a bigger bubble. GG are jealous not because they are riding in their feminity. They are jealous because they are . Why do we need to find a reason , as if the guy who was dressing was responsible for something that caused her outburst.
Let me give you this example . Watch this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHV86hBdFT0. As you can see on the faces of women when they see a guy looking like Marylin Monroe looking far far beautiful than them.
It show on their face "How the..... this guy looks so beautiful and feminine". Feminity is not a property of women and we should not associate feminity to women in today's genderless( or free word). She was jealous because guy looked good or probably better than her. Accept it and stop assuming that they are comfortable in their feminity. No one can tell that. This is my pet peeve that feminity is associated with women. Nice gender stereotype.

Where the heck do I start??????
Ya' egotistical ~ ya don't really know any better, so how about we start here.....ya silly ****.

1. Your source of us "jealous bitches" is a Phil Donahue show circa 1987??????????????
2. Are ya nuts???????

tinachristina

07-23-2011, 12:19 AM

Tinachristina said"

Where the heck do I start??????
Ya' egotistical ~ ya don't really know any better, so how about we start here.....ya silly ****.

1. Your source of us "jealous bitches" is a Phil Donahue show circa 1987??????????????
2. Are ya nuts???????

1)People like you are reason why these stereotypes exist. Truth hurts isn't it. Last time a GG called me CHAUVINIST for standing up against a stereotype. Even my wife would not call me that ever.
2) Again another name calling. What is with you some women? Just can't take it can you.
3) I stand by my words no matter what words you use. It shows your character not mine. I just gave some example . Comment on the topic and not on the person.
4) take any example from 100 BC to 2040 AD, jealousy exists. Though it is the property of not only women. Even a man can get jealous. But to say that women have no jealousy is deluding themselves. I hope you come out of your stupor.
5) You want to fire expletives, you may go and do it , it does not matter to me because if needed I can do it many more times than you can, but I dont.

BTW I have reported you for using foul language. Hope moderators kick your comment out. :))))

Tamara Croft

07-23-2011, 12:55 AM

BTW I have reported you for using foul language. Hope moderators kick your comment out. :))))

Can dish it but can't take it? Momarie hasn't used any foul language and she has a good point. Stop getting your knickers in a twist :rolleyes:

Shelby

07-23-2011, 01:00 AM

I agree with all the statements said on here. You might as well be a woman full time, cause that is all that I have seen in your pics and video. Granted some of us say kind things on here to someone just to be polite. That is why I refrain from commenting on some threads asking if they pass if I don't feel that they do. Itmay seem mean, but I was never good at lying and I certainly wouldn't want to find out the hard way if I pass in public which has happened once in awhile. You on the otherhand do pass and I am jealous of your looks. The difference between me and your ex is that I'm not pissed off with you or divorced from you. You keep looking beautiful and enjoy your life how you want to and to hell with her.

Loretta

07-23-2011, 01:02 AM

Pritysteph

07-23-2011, 01:10 AM

Your ex is Actiing perfectly as any insecure woman should. She knows looks are her greatest weapon because she is a gg. Trust me, she knows and calculated the power of her comments. It's pure defense and honestly your pictures would intimidate any gg over a size 12. They can't handle it. Period

ReineD

07-23-2011, 02:08 AM

As you can see on the faces of women when they see a guy looking like Marylin Monroe looking far far beautiful than them.
It show on their face "How the..... this guy looks so beautiful and feminine". Feminity is not a property of women and we should not associate feminity to women in today's genderless( or free word). She was jealous because guy looked good or probably better than her. Accept it and stop assuming that they are comfortable in their feminity. No one can tell that. This is my pet peeve that feminity is associated with women. Nice gender stereotype.

Thanks for posting the link! I enjoyed watching it and the DQs. :)

I disagree with your assessment that the women were jealous or otherwise upset. They seemed to have enjoyed the performers as much as I did, especially the older lady who was in awe over Marilyn's looks and dress. All the questions were polite, the audience was laughing and having a good time, and the video proves my point. The women in the audience admired Jimmy's ability to transform himself so well. If anything, what you may have taken for jealousy, I took for surprise. Likely the members of that audience had never seen a DQ before and it was a curiosity for them to see such feminine looking males. This was during the 70s after all. :)

I still say that the women in the audience were not threatened by the DQs. How could they be? They know who they are, they have their families, their kids, their husbands, and their vaginas. :D

I'm sorry that it upsets you to know that we are not jealous. You might want to think about where this comes from. As to Amanda, she did say that her ex is pretty, although she doesn't approve of her clothing choices. But a difference in presentation is no cause for jealousy, since they both obviously wear what they each think is appealing.

I also don't understand why you believe I suggested that femininity is the sole domain of women. Honestly, any man who wears forms, a dress, wig, and makeup looks a great deal more feminine that a man who doesn't. And since we are in Amanda's thread, I must say again that she is very beautiful and very feminine. But, I don't make it into a contest like you seem to, and I'm sure her ex didn't either. As I said earlier, I believe the ex was embarrassed because it appears she did not embrace the idea of being married to a transwoman. This is unfortunate, but it is common. Some women disapprove, not because they are "jealous", but because they want to be married to men.

Reine: Have you not been watching this season of Big Brother? (CBS) Last night's eviction was the perfect example of female jealousy over another female. They all talked about it.

What you say may be true for GG's who think of themselves as attractive too. But so many women have such low self esteem that they do have feelings of jealousy of the Hair or the makeup or the figure of another woman or even more of a CD.

No, Kendra I don't watch much TV, but I wouldn't put much stock in what you see on popular shows. They tend to over use stereotypes, at least, this has been my observation.

As to a GGs self esteem, if she is overweight or otherwise has things about her body she does not like, if she feels insecure about this she might well envy someone who has a body type she would prefer whether this is a CD or another GG, I wonder if some overweight men don't envy men who are trim and buff and who get all the girls? But to take these extreme examples and say that women are jealous of CDs I think is carrying it way too far. Besides, there are many larger women who are secure in themselves and who love their curves. :)

Stephanie47

07-23-2011, 11:30 AM

Amanda, you look stunning in those pictures. I do not belong to any social sites, so I cannot comment on linkage, etc. I will say I think anybody who has interacted intimately for a long period of time with another would be able to recognize the person. Maybe we have advanced facial recognition built in. Or maybe the Green Bay poster help confirm your identity. Her reaction says why she is an ex. It's one thing to be non supportive and even disapproving. It is another to be vicious. You are definitely better off without her.

Even in my youth I would never have been as passable as you. You're a number ten in my book.

Kate T

07-23-2011, 12:27 PM

As is clearly stated by many already you are very attractive when dressed. I would agree.

One thing no one has really commented on is the caution we need to take when using the wonderful "internet" and paticularly various social tools. Whilst the internet has been an absolute godsend for GLBT community generally we must be cautious. It is relatively easy to expose personal information on sites such as Facebook and MySpace without realising it. This personal information can be used by those who are less tolerant and would wish to harm either us individually or as a community.

I am glad that you have received such support and appear not to have been too heavily affected by someones nastiness. Good luck. (BTW, yeah, I'm bloody jealous of how good you look!)

TGMarla

07-23-2011, 01:06 PM

Either I am not as good as I think or she is just being really vicious.

Well, it's probably a little of both... or actually a little of one and a whole lot of the other. It's pretty clear from what you wrote that she's being purposefully vicious towards you. On the other hand, I know that the woman I see in the mirror and in my pics is not the woman everyone else sees. I like to think I'm pretty, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I'm not as pretty as I think I am, and I know it. I dressed in front of my wife once for Halloween, and she said I was pretty. But she might not have the same comment for me were she to walk in on me all decked out one day.

As to the notion that women hit the roof when they see their husbands crossdressed, I highly doubt that jealousy is the reason. As Reine said, most women have a modecum of respect for feminine beauty. They just don't like seeing it when it's their husband doing it. Of couse there are exceptions. (nod to those with accepting wives)

When I see your avatar, I see a female. But I know you're a guy. Heck, it's a crossdressing site, right? So were I to see your pic on Facebook, I'd not immediately know you were a guy. But then, I'm not your ex-wife, either. She pegged you right away. But had she seen you crossdressed before? If so, that's how she knew it was you all dressed up in girly mode. I think your presentation is quite good.

kimdl93

07-28-2011, 01:11 PM

In absolute honesty, Amanda, you are as pretty and feminine as anyone could ask to be...GG or TG. You're ex isn't likely to ever endorse or even accept the person you are...there's too much baggage. And when she sees you - regardless of how you present - she's likely to see what is in her minds eye.

Its sad that she couldn't appreciate you for the beautiful person you are, inside and out, but that's the way it is with divorce. So, like all else from that failed relationship, put it behind you and move on in your new life. You have not reason to doubt yourself!

JodieGreen

07-28-2011, 01:15 PM

hah, lets see a picture of her.

people feel pretty comfortable trolling across the internet btw. Just look at any comment box on youtube.

besides somebody that can't accept you for who you are isn't a person i'd even want to associate with.

Genifer Teal

07-28-2011, 05:11 PM

boardpuppy

07-28-2011, 08:39 PM

Don't let what the EX says effect you, you are a beautiful looking lady. If you want to be on FB go ahead, block anyone that is not a friend and go on. As far as your looks go, if only I could be half as good looking, I would be estatic. You have nothing to worry about in that department. You are drop dead beautiful.
Alice

TiffanyJoHayden

07-28-2011, 09:33 PM

Amanda, in the words of David Blount.....You're beautiful, you're beautiful.....it's true. Don't let her get to you. She is jealous, she is bitter, and she is a woman. She has all the makings of the scorned ex. Do what you can to distance yourself from her and eventually she will fade away. Stay true to yourself and keep doing what brings you joy. Don't let her viciousness ruin your happiness. Stay strong!

Kaitlyn26

07-28-2011, 10:15 PM

Nicole Erin

07-29-2011, 09:07 AM

I do not think gg's are jealous so mcuh as they enjoy trying to bring down someone they don't like.

no matter what you posted she would have said you are a phony or she could tell etc...

Also with FB, it is nothing more than an invasion device with a pretty face. Employers, insurance companies, and even good colleges are using it to nose in on people's lives. this is why they are quick to ban fake accounts if they find out about it.
Facebook looks like a social thing on the surface but is more of a data mine, set up to try to target people for advertising.
That and it is a substitute for something they cannot do yet - read minds. They are hoping people will volunteer all their dirt and sure enough plenty do. Yay facebook, you tricked people into divulging their thoughts.

Their only mistake though is the owner boasting how he believes people are not entitled to much privacy, and employers boasting about using FB to figure out who they should fire. Hopefully people will wise up sooner than later, like before it ruins their lives.

There is another clever way to use FB though - fabricate a total and complete BS life to post on there so when schools or employers look at it, it looks like you are a golden child.

kimdl93

07-29-2011, 10:01 AM

...There is another clever way to use FB though - fabricate a total and complete BS life to post on there so when schools or employers look at it, it looks like you are a golden child.

What a brilliant idea!

Billie Jean

07-29-2011, 11:01 AM

If you are ugly then I would like to see the women your ex thinks are beautiful. You are one beautiful lady. Billie Jean

GirlieAmanda

07-29-2011, 05:00 PM

There is a lot said in this thread. I didn't read it all. Here is my thought.

Presumably, this is part of the reason she is now your ex. It would seem she does not like this sort of thing. So now look at this situation from her perspective. You do this thing which she doesn't like and maybe it tears apart your relationship. Now you may both be unhappy to be separated but at least you still have this thing which came between you. What is she left with? Maybe not much and now she sees you potentially flaunting (from her perspective) the very thing which came between you. She may also see you as happy (relative to her) and free to do this thing you enjoy. It could be like putting salt on an open would to her.

I really don't know your situation so I can only say so much. I didn't want to mis characterize your female purpose in life, so whatever your "thing" is, please substitute where applicable. Hope this made a little sense.

Gen

I think you are probably right. BUT its the way she reacts that makes her so mean and vindictive. She has always been an angry, hot tempered and vicious person. I always thought I could handle it but it drove me further from her. You don't want to be with someone, intimately or not, who scares you or is so mean to others and you. Just imagine most of 20 years like that. I am sad that I don't have a wife anymore, sort of, but I am NOT sad that I am not with her anymore. Like I said, this is just a small glimpse of how I was treated the last 15-20 years. I am extremely patient and forgiving, but even I have limits.

Maiko Newhalf

07-29-2011, 06:09 PM

You coming up on anyone's list isn't in your control, but if you want me to walk you through a bunch of settings that will limit your cross-contamination, I will.

Could you elaborate Mikaela -- same concerns here.

I think you are probably right. BUT its the way she reacts that makes her so mean and vindictive. She has always been an angry, hot tempered and vicious person. I always thought I could handle it but it drove me further from her. You don't want to be with someone, intimately or not, who scares you or is so mean to others and you. Just imagine most of 20 years like that. I am sad that I don't have a wife anymore, sort of, but I am NOT sad that I am not with her anymore. Like I said, this is just a small glimpse of how I was treated the last 15-20 years. I am extremely patient and forgiving, but even I have limits.

Armanda, you looks fantastic. Just restart your FB page and don't forget to add me. :)

monika

07-29-2011, 08:23 PM

it`s pretty obvious she is jealous!
You look great:)

Billie Jean

07-29-2011, 10:24 PM

And you would expect an ex to say nice things??Mine did, she said I'm leaving and want a divorce. LOL Billie Jean

karen88st

07-29-2011, 10:40 PM

Amanda, you looked absolutely gorgeous no matter how I looked. You don't need to feel upset for what she said to you, because she just want to hurt you. I am quite sure you looked much better than her :-)

As for Facebook, I suggest giving minimum details when registering your account, so it won't have much cross references to your ex.

JackieCD

07-30-2011, 01:25 AM

You're gorgeous sweetie! She's just jealous you're more pretty than her :)

Genifer Teal

07-30-2011, 03:59 PM

Just saw your shopping video. You look amazing and present very well. Passing is not the issue. There is some other cuase for her reaction.

Shananigans

07-31-2011, 11:07 PM

I'm sorry that it upsets you to know that we are not jealous. You might want to think about where this comes from. As to Amanda, she did say that her ex is pretty, although she doesn't approve of her clothing choices. But a difference in presentation is no cause for jealousy, since they both obviously wear what they each think is appealing.

But, I don't make it into a contest like you seem to, and I'm sure her ex didn't either. As I said earlier, I believe the ex was embarrassed because it appears she did not embrace the idea of being married to a transwoman. This is unfortunate, but it is common. Some women disapprove, not because they are "jealous", but because they want to be married to men.

I completely agree with you, Reine. I have never been jealous of a trans-woman's looks or my partner's looks; however, I tend not to get jealous of other people's appearance in general (including other GGs). It's not to say that I have NEVER been jealous, but it's usually a bigger issue than physical appearance. Maybe I'm just not a jealous person. But, I do agree and think that the root of the cause with the Facebook post might have been dismay that her ex-partner was putting up such information on a PUBLIC domain. It could be humiliating for a person that is unaccepting to have other people realize that you were married to a CD. What would people think? Is this website up so that her ex can look for men? Does that mean he is gay? So, was she married to a gay man? So, was she married to a gay man that wears dresses? Did this man dress as a woman when they were together? Was this why they broke up? Maybe he dressed up as a woman and had sex with men. Maybe he wants to be a woman. So, does that make her (the ex) a lesbian? Did she know? I bet she's a freak. Please remember these aren't what I necessarily think, but coming from a small town I do know how people talk. Putting myself in the shoes of a spouse that is horrified by CDing, I can only imagine what would go through her mind/what she would be worried about people thinking. The last thing on my mind would be jealousy....what WOULD be on my mind is all of the random stuff that I listed. I am completely accepting of my SO. I think she is beautiful and I would love her to be able to be open about it. However, she is not completely open with it and so I am in the closet with her. In a way, the OP's ex was in a closet and she would like to stay in that closet...but, she is kind of being forced out of it if it's on Facebook.

NOW, I will say that GG's tend to be stereotyped a lot by saying, "Oh honey, she's just jealous." I mean, it's all over the TV. It seems like the only helpful advice that we can give is that whatever person you are having a problem with is jealous of you about Something. So, people on here who are saying "she is just jealous" may be buying into that stereotype because they have absolutely no idea what the OP's ex looks like. Soooooooo...herp derp.

It is very hateful what the OP's ex said and I do think she intended it to be hateful (obviously). I think the OP looks just fine, but I don't think the rage was fueled by jealousy. It's kind of awkward to be jealous of the person you used to f*ck anyway...I'm jus' sayin'. I have dated very attractive GGs and I wasn't jealous of them...I had sex with them...but, I wasn't jealous of them. That's just kind of...weird to think about being jealous of someone that I am sleeping with or was sleeping with at one point of time.

Besides, there are many larger women who are secure in themselves and who love their curves. :)

Definitely. I'd say Marilyn Monroe was a "bigger" girl and I certainly loved her curves.

P.S. To whom it may concern: I think the "competition" of t-girl>GG or GG>t-girl is veeeeeeery unladylike. Keep that in mind. ;) I don't exactly know what there's a "competition" about...shouldn't we just be happy that there are many, many beautiful women in the world of all flavors? I know it certainly makes me happy to have such a variety to choose from... jus' sayin'

JulieK1980

07-31-2011, 11:30 PM

Glad to hear she is your "ex"

She's way off the mark though. You look great!

Lee51964

08-01-2011, 09:35 AM

as a man i would count myself lucky to go out with a woman as beautiful as you

as a gurl Ignore the bitch she dosen't deserve the time it would take to tell her off

Love
Sarah

Bootsiegalore

08-01-2011, 10:27 AM

She's probably just jealous because you are more woman than she will ever be (and probably better looking, too!)
I AGREE! You look GREAT!

It should never come up as somone she may know unless you used and email address she has.... but if you made a new email address and kept your personal information out of it (like your real name) I do not beleive it should have shown up. I think she went looking for you under your girlie name (if she knows it) or by your email address if she knows it.

ReineD

08-01-2011, 10:57 AM

^ Shenanigans .... :wall:

(Lol. I guess it doesn't matter what GGs have to say about this. Some of the CDs know better.) :)

Annaliese

08-01-2011, 11:00 AM

You look great don't let her get you down. She is the one with the problem.

Hugs Annaliese

suchacutie

08-01-2011, 11:14 AM

Reine, we ALWAYS want to hear what the GGs on this site have to say! I do wish that those who have differing opinions would present them in a way that fostered the conversation in a positive manner.

tina

ReineD

08-01-2011, 12:00 PM

I do wish that those who have differing opinions would present them in a way that fostered the conversation in a positive manner.

Me too, Suchacutie. Me too.

The thing is, maybe it's just one of those standard phrases that are said without putting much thought in it like, "oh, never mind, life goes on", or "yeah, sure if it were me I'd do it". Unfortunately, I'm afraid that on a site like this one, CDers who repeatedly read, "oh she's just jealous because you're so much prettier than her" will begin to believe stuff like this and it will do nothing for their future relationships, not to mention giving them an inflated sense of themselves. :straightface:

For anyone who is interested I've just started a thread in Loved Ones about this whole "jealousy" thing, so that we can all talk about it civilly in there, and keep this thread strictly about the OP's ex's negative comments.

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?157600

Shananigans

08-01-2011, 12:17 PM

^ Shenanigans .... :wall:

(Lol. I guess it doesn't matter what GGs have to say about this. Some of the CDs know better.) :)

Haha, Reine...I swear that's just people in general. One of my favorite examples of people not listening to me on a subject I know very well (probably just as well as being a GG) is working in parasitology. I was talking to a professor who is a PhD in a particular science subject. He asked where I worked and I told him that I worked as a tech in a parasitology lab. He proceeded to tell me how interesting that was and was describing what I supposedly would be doing in my day-to-day work life. I told him it wasn't all that glamorous and proceeded to correct him by telling him what I Actually do for a living. He then shook his head, dismissed what I said, and continued stating my supposed job description. Apparently, I smacked my head on the ground a year ago and I have no idea what I have been doing that past 12 months. :)

Point is...I would consider myself more of an expert on the subject, even if he is a PhD in a science. I actually work where I work. (It would be kind of like me correcting my mother on nursing. She has been a nurse for 20 years. Just because I just got accepted into nursing school does not make me an expert enough to tell her what she does and does not do). Another point is that I AM A GG and I know perfectly well how I have react after breakups, how my friends have acted after breakups, and how we have consoled each other. The root of frustration does not come from seeing your new ex dressed as a woman and you saying, "OH MY GOD! She looks better than me!! I'm going to send a hateful message because this is an injustice for a CD to look better than me!" No. You being dressed as a woman is in no way a threat to her looks, but it is a threat to her social life if someone finds out. It's not saying that the OP doesn't look good...but, it is saying that it's pretty preposterous for me to fathom that message sent in a jealous rage over her looking better than her ex.

Let's think about what times I DO get jealous...I get jealous when there is a DIRECT threat to me. Say for example I am with my SO at the bar and another girl saddles up beside him to talk to him. I might be a little jealous. There is a direct threat in this new girl getting attention from my man that I might not want him to give to her. Would I start yelling at her and calling her hateful names? No. Why? Because, it's insane. There isn't that large of a threat level. If she proceeded to grab my boyfriend's crotch or something, the threat level rises and I might go a little nuts. Seeing someone's picture on Facebook that is attractive? Zero threat level. Seeing my male ex-bf dressed as a woman on public display? Major threat level to my friends and family finding out...ESPECIALLY if I am not down with the CDing and don't want to be outed as someone who had a relationship with a CD.

Look people, I know that it's hard for you to imagine women being able to understand things beyond a physical level...but, we do. We aren't waking around about to kill every attractive woman or trans-woman in the world. Quite literally most of us could give a crap less. I think I look good...if the OP's ex looks good, she probably isn't threatened either.

Now, let me flip this coin. YOU might be jealous of the OP that she looks passable or very feminine. It may very well be somewhat of a threat to you (though probably very little) that the OP is good looking. YOU might be a little jealous.

But, I'm not jealous. Reine's not jealous. And, I bet a 100$ that the SO's crazy/psycho message on FB stemmed from something of a bigger emotion (afraid someone she knows might see it) than just being jealous of her ex's looks. In fact the OP's ex spells it out why she is mad right here, "U have no respect for me putting this out for everyone to see. It just ****ing came up on my page as someone I may know. Didn't u think that might happen. U ****ing suck." Herp derp. She said she didn't want people to see the OP dressed like that...herp herp, derp derp. Pretty cut and dry right thurr.

But, Hell...my vagina gives me brain wave static, so I most likely cannot comprehend such a complex situation as that.