Dressing in Front of Children.

[tinkerbell]

I have been a CD for many years and have kept it in the closet. My ex wife knew about it but when we divorced I never told any of my other girlfriends. I don’t have children of my own and I need some advice on dressing in front of children. My current girlfriend has children and I want to open up to her and tell her, but afraid of her reaction and the children’s reaction.

[Cathrine]

Hi Tinkerbell

I have 3 kids godbless them i love them so much. but i feel that as children they have so many other issues to deal with in their normal day to day lives trying to figure out where they belong in this world, hormones raging andthe like. my wife and i have talked about this topic and we have come to a conclution that their lives are so dificult already that when they are older and have more life experiance we will come clean with them then. but that is how we see things every family is different and has different problems to deal with. so i would suggest speak to your girlfriend and explain to her everything if she accepts you all good then once everything is out of the closet so to speak set the boundries and if you both feel that the children will be understanding and not freak out then sit them down together as a couple and explain that is is not hurting anybody but there are people in the world that will make fun of the situation andthee are others that will just not even bat an eyelid at it, but please please be careful on how you tell them.

[Gerrijerry]

if you want to tell your girl friend you should, the children is not up to you but there mother to tell. Oh and start being honest with who ever you date. If it is becoming serious you should tell them.

[Jane G]

I have two grown up kids. My daughter has seen me dressed a few times. My son has never seen me dressed. Never even discussed the subject with him, though obviously he knows I dress. We have plenty of other hobbies that we can share.

[Inna]

Dressing seems an innocent act comparing to what I had to share wit my son of 17 years. I could no longer hold back since my decision of a reveal 1 year ago, I kept it hidden since then just from him and felt it wasn't fair but did it so to protect him. At his age, one more load seems unfair but life and truth kept nagging. I finally did it. What a beautiful, brilliant, full of wisdom and acceptance boy I have raised. Although I should take no credit for, this is his own love and soul and he him self is so giving. But I have shaken the foundations never the less and he has survived.

I guess the point of all this is that truth however different from norm, is still the truth and we should strive to live in it. Children are extremely resilient and have the ability to adapt to new circumstances. The younger they are the more open and with times we live in almost every kid in every school knows someone who knows someone who wants to be a girl or boy even though they are not.

I suppose your question though is more about you partners acceptance then kids :)

[Pythos]

What get me is that we even have to question this.

We have children exposed to violence on T.V. Brain washing in the general media, and in the real world exposed to some pretty terrible examples of style.

Yet for some reason a male wearing "female" styles is STILL being questioned around children.

Children are exposed to some pretty rotten stuff, no matter how much "control" the parent/s think they have over what their kids are exposed to.

You should of course ask when it comes to your girlfriend's kids. But in general allowing someone to argue that their kids seeing you dressed in an unconventional manner is somehow harming them, nailem down and ask just how it is, what you do, is so harmful when compared to the crap kids are exposed to now a days.

[sandra-leigh]

I have not worn a skirt or dress in front of any children that I know personally (mind you I only know... ummm, one?). I have, though, gone out in public numerous times, including skirt or dress without any wig or makeup, and there are children that I do not know personally around in the malls or in the grocery stores or on the bus or in restaurants. The children seldom have a problem with it... or even a reaction to it for that matter.

That said, if there is a group of teenaged boys standing or sitting around with nothing to do (hanging out in a corridor, sitting on a bus), sometimes one of them may decide to prove his macho chops by insulting me. These are the same kinds of boys who used to insult me even if I what I was wearing was all from menswear, even if it was typical menswear; oddly, I get fewer insults from their kind when I'm obviously dressed.

[Leslie Langford]

...That said, if there is a group of teenaged boys standing or sitting around with nothing to do (hanging out in a corridor, sitting on a bus), sometimes one of them may decide to prove his macho chops by insulting me. These are the same kinds of boys who used to insult me even if I what I was wearing was all from menswear, even if it was typical menswear; oddly, I get fewer insults from their kind when I'm obviously dressed.

Don't let it bother you - it is often said that when two or more teen-aged boys get together, the collective IQ usually drops by at least 50%. Also known as the "Jackass syndrome"...

[Dawn cd]

You don't say how old your gf's children are. If they are teenagers, they can probably handle it. But regardless of their age, you have to put the decision in the hands of their mother. Tell her first, and take it from there.

[suzy1]

As Dawn said, you do not tell us the ages of the children.
Also some here think it’s just a simple decision to make. Its not! To those that don’t have children I am going to stick my neck out here and say you do not really qualify to comment on this question. [I will take the flak on that when it comes]
I do, and yet I struggle with this.
Yes, I know we are harmless and good people here. But life just is not that simple!
A lot of thought has to go into this and every case is different.
But the welfare of the children always comes first,

SUZY

[mercterr]

My preteen son found out by overhearing a conversation I was having with my mom on the phone. He thought his mom and I were going to split up and got really upset. I ended up telling him about my crossdressing way before i ever intended to. He was really accepting of it and told me i am still his dad and I haven't changed in his eyes. I still go out of my way to not dress in front of him. I am newly out to just a few loved ones and my new therapist and I am not comfortable with myself yet.

[carhill2mn]

I think Gerrijerry gave you very good advice.