Reason for crossdressing

[Sophiewouldbenice]

Hello everyone,

Actually I am questioning my crossdressing, normally I would say it give me a nice feeling and makes fun. Also I really enjoy the clothes .... But also I do get a hard member by doing it, sometimes it goes away by the time, sometimes not, if I masturbate (because it is stepping on my nerves, to see the bump) I feel, that the desire of crossdressing goes away or at least the good feeling and so on. I am doing it since I was 11 and I am now 28. I possess much stuff and I was also outside crossdressing, even had a perm in my past, dyed eyelashes, shaved arms, and so on. I do not remember how it started emotionally, if it was because of puberty and the desire to be in contact to a girl (which I did not manage :( ) or curiosity or what so ever.

It just, if it is "only" a way to sexually stimulate me, I think I shouldn't do it. Well I know, that all this stuff about forced feminization/sissyfication is turning me on extremly (only in my mind and for self pleasure) (of course I did not know this stuff before I was adult).

So in sum, I accept my crossdressing, if it would be not only sexual driven :( - so how can I figure it out?

[Tina B.]

It takes a lot of time, I started dressing when I was around 6 years old, at that age, sex had nothing to do with it. When I became a young teen, and sexual urges started to happen, dressing did lead to masturbation most of the time, and after like you, the thrill was gone, and I wanted to be back to "Normal" as quickly as I could get out of the girlly stuff and back into male clothes.
Sometime in my twenties, I started to dress and not get excited, just felt good, by fifty sex hardly ever comes into it anymore, it just feels like the clothes I am meant to wear, I feel better in womens clothes than I do mens, now I'm in my late 60's and sex really does not have a biginfluencee in my life any more, but yet I feel the need to dress more than I ever have at anytime in my life. In the 60's I learned to stop worrying about what it means and why I do it, we had a saying I took to heart " If it feels good, just do it!" and for me it does feel good!
Tina B.

[Sophiewouldbenice]

Well, good for you :)

Well, in my case much comes from the worry not to find a girlfriend and spending to much money, so if it is not really necessary (because some kind of alternative to a girlfriend) for me - I shouldn't do it and I would probably better with a girl and me in man-mode. It makes live much more complicated, I have seen it by coming out to much parents, only fear and tears on my mothers side - she still has a shock and we cannot speak about it, for her I am just ill and should get help and become normal :( - a pitty I thought she would be the most social person in the world, but if it come to close emotions take over. Some friends start to realize small things on my appearance, and I do not care so much for not beeing somehow revealed anymore... well I will never start living enfemme, but I am telling myself, that it is good to be a crossdressing or even more - hopefully I am not wrong and harming myself by this attitude :( - my male mode is also pretty strong normaly and somehow I have separate behaviour patterns into both modes, which is weird and stupid and therefore my male side can be much to aggressive sometimes, just like I am forcing myself to be 150% male in this case - on the other hand all emotions are put in the female state, well not all, but I allow myself everything than. Being with a girl (at least happened once in my life and wasn't going to far) told me, that my emotional and soft side is pretty strong, I recognized, that I was the one who wanted kisses and attention or be hold - which is probably not how a man should behave (ok lets say not the traditional western way)^^.

I ordered yesterday my first pair of adhesive breasts, besides I am not sure if I shouldn't stay as a man in girls clothes than trying to be female. Thats the other problem, I like myself also feminized but male, no breasts, no wig, but somehow feminin styled own hair (or what is left of my hair ^^) - I would say, I even look cuter without makeup - ok probably I just suck at makeup :(. On the other hand, a bra is cool and putting sox in it is nice, too, even tried this over night to get a more female feeling.

What so ever, I am male and sexual driven (I know can be a cd), a crossdresser in sense of other reasons or even transsexual - who knows :( and I am sometimes pressing myself into the transsexual direction (well in the ultra female way...)... knowing, that I will never ever pass, damn I like my beard and muscles, too. I look "good" and taking the beard of makes me less expressive, I have even the feeling, that I am looking much cuter with beard in a dress, than without beard, just because of my facial expression :(

[Karren H]

I don't have a reason.... I'm driven to crossdress like I'm driven to breath...

[Sophiewouldbenice]

A healthy attitude :)

[Vickie_CDTV]

I am curious, why do you feel you should stop dressing if you only do it for sexual pleasure? What do you feel is wrong with doing it just for pleasure?

[Karren H]

A healthy attitude :)

Its what good nuns do best! :D

[Samantha43]

I don't have a reason.... I'm driven to crossdress like I'm driven to breath...

:yt:
Once you accept this, Things will get better.

[sissystephanie]

I dress simply because I like to!! And I have been a crossdresser since age 6, and I am now 79!! Although I consider myself a normal male sexually, since I fathered 2 children, I have never really had sexual urges while dressed enfemme. Maybe I am weird!!

It is your life, live it the way you wish!!

[RenneB]

To each his, I mean her own. It's something a little different for each of us. I started back when I was 5 and remember that day very vividly. I'm now 45 years past that and still having a blast dressing. Only now, I'm way better at it then I was back then. It was sexual at times but then sometimes it would be just for fun. Now it's pretty much just for fun.

Some of the details can get a bit tricky, but that's the challenge...

Renne....

[Ava McGhee]

I'm not sure why I started crossdressing, I just know it started around 5 or 6 and like most others in this thread, it became a major turn-on around puberty but just started feeling "right" when I was in my mid-20's.. I even tried living as a woman in Seattle for a year.

Now I dress because I feel completely free; I cook more, I'm more likely to read than watch TV but basically, I just love being myself just as I always am; just me as a woman.

[joanna4]

I started of like you and then I really enjoyed being a girl and wanting to be a girl full time without that sexual desire.

[TGMarla]

What Karren said is true for most of us. And a whole lot of crossdressers, maybe even most of them, derive some kind of sexual stimulation from it on one level or another. I think it's a whole lot more than actually admit it. There were times when I thought that getting all decked out like a woman was little more than some elaborate masturbation ritual. But I came to accept that it's really a whole lot more than just that.

In any case, I patiently waited for it all to pass, and it never did. I struggled with it, and tried to deny it, purged once (that was stupid!), and wrestled with the thought of consistently emasculating myself by emulating the appearance of a woman. Eventually, I came to accept a few things:

1) This is just the way I am.
2) I'm not hurting anyone. I'm not even hurting myself unless I allow it to.
3) I enjoy "being" a woman for a time.
4) I'm always going to be attracted to feminine attire, no matter what I do.
5) There's no use in beating myself up over it.
6) As much as I'd like to be a woman, I'm not going to transition, so I accept myself the way I am.
7) It really makes me no less of a man...it might even make me a better one.

Once I achieved this acceptance, life got a whole lot easier. I'm committed to being my wife's husband. But I'm likely always going to be a crossdresser, too. There's nothing wrong with that. I may as well embrace it, and enjoy it. My advice to you would be to get to that same place, and start enjoying a little peace of mind.

[Suzy Parker]

Stress relief, because I enjoy it, because if feels good, becuase it feels right, and mostly for the delightful feeling of euphoria when I am dressed in my finest.

[lynn_lynn]

Really nothing better to do since Jerry Garcia died....:daydreaming:

[Cynthia Anne]

I dress because it's who I am! And with a nun listening in, I'm watching my P's and Q's on this one! Hugs!

[VioletJourney]

Just because you're sexually aroused by it doesn't mean it's the only reason you do it. Just go with what you want, and try not to worry about why you do it because that might lead to unnecessary judgment and self-doubt.

[suchacutie]

What Karren said, but then maybe we can divide that up a bit :) Tina is a significant part of me, and if she doesn't exist then I've shut down part of myself. How can I do that?

tina

[Jenniferathome]

I am sure that all of us have gone the sexual only stage. It was no different in my case, but as I have matured it is the feeling of being a woman that I love. When I am dressed, I feel pretty. It's not a sexual thing any longer. It is a feeling of peace.

[Sophiewouldbenice]

Thanks for all the responses :)

@ Vickie_CDTV, well I like the idea of me feeling girly and pretty and I really do enjoy it, I even make my masculin side look more feminin (just a bit, but enough to notice). I would have no problem to accept, if I would like to be a woman instead of a man (maybe its the case anyway). Its just, I do not wanna be somehow strange (in my mind) and develop a fetish for sexual pleasure only - does this make sense? Outsider would be more happy, if it would be only a fetish :)
Besides that, I am everyday short for coming out to my friends, the desire huge ...(Quesiton is, is this desire only driven...)

[KrystalA]

I am sure that all of us have gone the sexual only stage. It was no different in my case, but as I have matured it is the feeling of being a woman that I love. When I am dressed, I feel pretty. It's not a sexual thing any longer. It is a feeling of peace.

I pretty much agree with Jennifer. I love the "feeling of being" a woman.

[meri]

For those who are concerned that their interest in CDing is just about sex, there is an easy way to find out if it is. Wear yourself out with sex over the course of 2 to 3 days (whatever it takes), wear yourself to a nub... then ask yourself if you still like CDing and if you still fancy your feminine side...

You won't have much time for this introspection, the batteries recharge pretty quickly....

[Inna]

Bit of a psychology behind the subject. For a lot of Trans community crossdressing ties into sexually charged and often forced feminisation scenarios stories. Bondage and feeling out of control, forced to perform what society sees as inappropriate behavior, man being forced to be a girl. In very minute segment above may indeed be a clinical pathology however for most it is the subconscious mind making sens of quite unexplainable. Instead of taking the burden of responsibility upon our selves we put the burden outside making up stories of doing the girly stuff because of the third party making us do so. Once again it only makes sense in the subconscious mind which by it self is pretty weird.

Interestingly, girls do have the same fantasies, of forced sex or rape fantasies.You wold think it would be unthinkable but it is just another reality of subconscious. Girls as well as Trans fantasies about such to experience domination of stronger more physically powerful influence of testosterone driven masculinity, for feminine man it is just the same.

Clinically introduction of short period HRT is one way to strip sexuality of the trans condition and majority of psychologist tolerate this practice. In the short term it is harmless and long term effects are none.

[Sophiewouldbenice]

HRT, doesn't it effect your sexual desire in general, your capability, attitude and so on? What is short? Taking ostrogene or also testosteron blockers? Just for interest :p

[Inna]

HRT, doesn't it effect your sexual desire in general, your capability, attitude and so on? What is short? Taking ostrogene or also testosteron blockers? Just for interest :p

By blocking of testosterone influence, reduction of sexual drive and ones physical desire to satisfy such drive is greatly reduced, providing clarity of self without any other internal influence. I probably should have specify anti-androgen family of drugs instead of HRT which consists of feminizing hormones as well. Lower dosage and short period of time would mean different to different people. Weight, physical aspects, preexisting health conditions would all play a part, so medical supervision is a MUST. And not all people need such intervention, good therapist can decipher dysphoria from just few sessions.
Even though this practice is fairly safe, testosterone blocking technique is one used only if conventional therapy fails to clarify, whenever hormone altering drugs are introduced health hazards do rise.

[Pythos]

Ironic as it may seem. I found (and occasionally find) my bodies sexual reaction to the items I put on to be more annoying than anything. It is indeed one of the dummest organs of the body. LOL.

I truly wish it was fully controllable and didn't just become active like it does. This is a human aspect I truly thing the great maker needs to do a little rewiring of in future models.

That being said. No, my dressing is no longer triggered by just the arousal factor. There are sensual reasons because....many items of clothing that only women can wear right now, ARE SENSUOUS!!!.

Women for the most part take those aspects for granted, but wow, when they do actually think about what they are wearing, their reactions are not unlike mine (just the female equivalent).

[Piora]

It just, if it is "only" a way to sexually stimulate me, I think I shouldn't do it. Well I know, that all this stuff about forced feminization/sissyfication is turning me on extremly (only in my mind and for self pleasure) (of course I did not know this stuff before I was adult).
Oh, you shouldn't stop doing something that gives you great pleasure.

I have been crossdressing for over 30 years. Since the very beginning, and to the present day, I do it because it excites me sexually. Like you, after release, my desire to dress or to stay dressed, goes away and I want to get into my male clothes again. I have no desire to try to "pass" nor have I the desire to dress in any kind of outerwear. I strictly dress in whatever falls under the category of lingerie or underwear. Actually, I'd like to try dressing fully just once to see what it would be like, but because time is an issue, I don't have that luxury. Perhaps someday, and the idea of doing it is somewhat stimulating.

However, I accept that this is something I do that arouses me, and I'm comfortable with who I am. Don't worry about it so much.

[billie earls]

There is know right or wrong reason for crossdressing, we each have our own reasons. If you enjoy doing it for just sexual release so what, if it's fun don't feel guilty, just change back into your male clothes and continue your day. For me I do it for sexual release but I also love to wear my lingerie under my males clothes because I love the feeling of being femme. I've gotten over the guilt and accepted that's the way I am and as long as I'm not hurting anyone I will continue.

[NicoleScott]

Humans are sexual creatures, So, you're normal. Some men get turned on by seeing beautiful, shapely women with big boobs. I love shapely, beautiful women, but the big boobs offer no additional excitement for me. But if she is wearing high heels, well...that does add excitement. You are entitled to your own reasons for sexual excitement. Drop the guilt and enjoy it. Of course, like most anything else, if it causes an interruption of normal life activities and relationships, it's a problem. But other than that, don't distress because you like to crossdress.

[Stephenie S]

This question is asked over and over again on this (and other) forums. It's a constant question for many.

WHY??

I have been around long enough to realize that there just isn't any answer to this. Everyone can say it's fun, satisfying, rewarding, sometimes sexual, they are driven to it, WHATEVER.

But this does not answer the question of WHY.

IMHO it's an unanswerable question. Why? It's also an unnecessary question. Why do you like steak and not fish ? Why do you like to hunt? Why do you like football and not soccer? You just do. You can waste as much time over this as you can waste trying to figure out why you don't like to eat fish.

Why even ask it?

You ask this question because you are a guy. Guys always want answers. That's the way guys think. That's how guys fix stuff. They ask "why". But crossdressing does not mean that something is broken. You don't have to "fix" it. All you have to do is enjoy it.

So relax already. Just enjoy it. Understand that the constant question of "why" is just your guy self trying to push his way in where he's not needed.

Stephie

[MargoM]

Because I can !!!

I live by myself and my 2 Dachshunds don't give a damn what I do in their house roflmao

[bridgetta]

i think it would be impossible to conquer all the sexual turn ons we are exposed too.. that is.. things bombard you.. magazines .. movies.. women.. everywhere.. its all a turn on.. crossdressing sort of makes all that stimulous bearable.. from an evolutionary perspective. its a way to deal with it..

[Sophiewouldbenice]

Ok ok, I better stop asking why :p

Thanks for all the responses :)

[AppleUK]

This question is asked over and over again on this (and other) forums. It's a constant question for many.

WHY??

[...] You ask this question because you are a guy. Guys always want answers. That's the way guys think. That's how guys fix stuff. They ask "why". But crossdressing does not mean that something is broken. You don't have to "fix" it. All you have to do is enjoy it.
Stephie

Sorry, but it isn't a gendered thing to ask "why", it is a HUMAN thing. Come on, as if you haven't seen a bazillion partners on here asking "why" as well?

Indeed, for the CDer or the partner, there is likely to never be an answer to the "why" question; at least not at adequate one (not until more research is done). Still, partners want to know "why" in order to try to figure out "where", as in "where is this all heading"? And I think that is a fair enough question. Without at least a little bit of introspection on the CDer's part as to "why", how can they begin to be truthful as to "where" it is heading (to themselves or to their partner)?

-Apple

[PowChubby]

I just like the feel and look of it. I don't look particularly fantastic in them. I think. ^^;

[Victoriacr]

I crossdress because I enjoy it, having done so for 61 years or longer. After coming , dressing is easier because it is accepted by those to whom I am out and by me. Going out is great and if I pass, then ok; if I do not pass, then I am out to even more people and that's ok too.