Who or what are you really?

[Kate Simmons]

One thing I do notice is that many here will refer to themselves as CD's, TV's, TG's. T-Girls or what ever but those are more or less "things" and with those terms certain images are conjured up by others.I use those terms as a point of reference only. Does anyone ever think of themself as simply an en femme person and relate to that? When I think of others, I think about who they are as a person and not so much as a term describing what they are. Did anyone ever stop to think that perhaps we need to change our perspective of our outlook to just be looked at as people? Just a thought. :)

[Raychel]

Did anyone ever stop to think that perhaps we need to change our perspective of our outlook to just be looked at as people?

And a very good thought. If we could just be looked at as people, that would definitly help.
I know that is what I am just a all american red blooded male, Married, 2.5 Children, House, White picked fence. OK the fence is now gone. :heehee: just so happens that I like to help the economy by buying and wearing womens clothes.

[Charleen]

As a famous sailor once said, "I yam what I yam"! We have all flavors here. Me, I consider myself TG.
I think the problem isn't us looking at us as people, it's the outside world that I would like to see looking at us as just people!

[Karren H]

GIAD...... Guy in a Dress!! :)

[Inna]

We compartmentalize, that is what we do, that is what we are thought to do, policeman is just that, he is not a human cause he writes bad speed tickets, fireman, well he really isn't fireman he just pours liquid on top of fire so he should be called fire-hater or else waterman, TG used in a spoken language communicates a bracket of stereotype, and that is all. I think we all get slightly vaclempt over this, it is what it ain't, of course at the end of a long day all we are is sleepy.

[wanagione]

I consider myself TG, even when I'm in guy mode, I'm aTG. Amy is Always there. At home I do most of the traditional femal rolls, I food shop, I cook, and clean the house. Some times I kids call me mom by mistake. I love who I am.

[Cynthia Anne]

I'm a 'crazy ex girlfriend' who knows she should of been born fab! I guess I just have to be different! But I am 'people' who who doesn't care what others call her!:brolleyes:

[terrianncd]

I've called myself a crossdresser and a Tgurl, but you are right, I am transgendered. Just ask my wife who understands she lives with a woman who happens to look like a guy. I find this to be the best of both worlds really. I can work on the farm and equipment, hang with the guys and go into the house and after a shower and all over shave, relax as the women I am. I've always thought that being a TG gave me an advantage over most guys as I see things from a different point of view(womens) and can use this to my advantage when dealing with them. I am called on at work all the time to deal with a upset customer and I think being a TG gives me that edge in calming them down.

[noeleena]

Hi,

In a nut shell , im a woman & is both male / female so haveing both sides tho not all of both , enough to know im in the middle some were

& can be accepted in the main by most people thats all i really need , so i can be who i am with out fear of being thrown out & not be accepted.

& when it comes down to it im just accepted as a woman. were ever i go.

...noeleena...

[bobbie sue]

I am all female because I live 24/7 as a women and have for many years or should I say almost all my life my wife works and supports us very good so I am a stay at home gril HUGHS AND KISSES

[Sara Jessica]

We compartmentalize, that is what we do,...

...as human beings. This is part of being sentient.

Yes, at the end of the day we're simply people so the original premise is valid but think about it, there is such a huge variety of expression within our vast community that it only makes sense to categorize.

Now it's an entirely different question as to whether describing one's self as TG, TS, CD, whatever, has any effect on personality. For some, there may be a conscious effort to channel a persona in an effort to mask the guy underneath. For others, myself included, my inner being is the same no matter how I present. This is where the "Popeye" quote comes in for me, not with describing what I am but instead, describing who I am.

[suchacutie]

We are people who are rather complex! In trying to explain our situations to each other we try to use words and it's these words that should be thought of as roads to an insight rather than as labels. I've used a variety of these words at times to try to put across my feelings, words such as transgendered, bi-gendered, t-girl, etc. But, it does always come back to the fact that I have a guy's body, and a mind that is split between the masculine side of things and the feminine side of things. Thus, the "who" that I am stems from that fact, and that "who" is still evolving, and probably always will! :)

tina

[Lorileah]

I am he and you are he as you are me and we are both together.

Everyone desires to "be" something. Otherwise you are nothing. Yes, the words are a way to compartmentalize and organize. They are not set in granite as we know that even here the word means different things to different people. But when you explain who you are and you say I am "me", the person to whom you are trying to communicate won't get it. It is great for you because you have the image and definition in your head of who or what you are. Getting that out to everyone else requires a more common language.

We agree we are who we are, no more no less. If you have a bunch of existentialist friends you can alol sit around and nod and tell each other how cool that is. Explaining it to the masses...not so much

[Kerigirl2009]

I think of myself as a crossdresser with a bit of transgendered mixed in
I see myself as an enfemminate man when I am dressed for the rest of the world to see me.
When I am dressed as Keri, I see myself as the woman that I have always wanted to be, but the world does not want.

So I see myself as myself. A FEMININE MAN that can do manly things but prefers to do more womanly things when I can.

[Emily Ann Brown]

No games playing...I am as my tag over my picture says.......I am a girl in disguise,"I am EM".


Em

[NicoleScott]

If we're just people, what are we doing here? We're here because we're cd's, tv's, tg's, ts's. We have something in common that draws us here, other than being people. Unfortunately, changing our outlook probably won't change others'.

[JustWendy]

GIAD...... Guy in a Dress!! :)

A much better acronym than:

Just
In
Habits
And
Dresses

:D

[Dawn cd]

As my handle states, I am a crossdresser, but that falls under the larger heading of transgendered. I will never cross all the way, but once one steps off the bank of absolute maleness and onto the bridge, one is always transgendered to some extent.

[Nikki A.]

I think we use the "labels" to express who we are to others. I want to be treated as I treat others, with respect and openness. That said in our spectrum there are many variations and I do not want to mislead people into thinking that I am someone who I'm not.

[Rianna Humble]

At least we didn't start the polemic over who is ME :eek:

To go back to Abigail's point, for much of the time, I am just an ordinary girl trying to do my job but my voice marks me out as something else :cry:

When I come here, I am more than just an ordinary girl, I am someone who is trying to support others from my knowledge of a lifetime of not wanting to be trans and the last few years of having to admit it. Some of the time I am also someone who needs that support from others who understand what I am going through. Much as I love my cis friends, they don't have any point of reference to understand.

[Ava McGhee]

I have no idea what I am, honestly.. In femme mode I seem to be pretty accepted, and have had my share of admirers making a pass at me; for the most part I feel accepted.

And then there's guy mode; I dare not go shopping in guy mode, or even try to make any kind of suggestions that I might be transgendered. I don't "look the type". It is very drastic.. A guy who liked what he saw the day before, to the point of photoshopping dirty pictures of me, will see me in full guy mode and say "I can't believe I ever wanted anything to do with.... that". Ladies who seemed to accept me, to the point of giving advice on my hair and nails, see "guy-me" and run the other way.

Honestly, I have no place. I'm definitely trans and I WILL get back to living my life as a woman.... I just don't expect any help or encouragement along the way. Others might say I'm TG, but I have no clue what the hell I am.

[Inna]

I believe that we have such an adverse reaction to couple of letters which group and describe external factors, because of such labels negative perceived connotations.
Such label weather CD, TG, TS carries a negative meaning to those who do not understand. For instance no one has any problem with PHD, in fact everyone wouldn't mind to have it follow their professional stature but does it truly change the person inside? I honestly don't think so!!!!!!!!!!!!
What about MD, should every doctor freak out and go to medical forums and cry about someone calling him MD, because he is not MD he is Jeff the guy who likes to Frisbee with his dog and stuff.

So get a grip you CDs, TSs we are all who we are but belong to the vast group called Transgender, or WHAT EVER YOU WANNA CALL IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Fab Karen]

Everyone desires to "be" something. Otherwise you are nothing.
( assuming that was humor, my humor response ) You cannot NOT be, grasshopper.

[Ava McGhee]

Okay, I'm a little less upset now; being serious this time, I'm a TG person who made the mistake of beginning transition before the finances were there to allow me to continue... Like, my best friend, brother, and other people who were very close to me before are still by my side, but every time I try to make the types of friends I had before, I just really don't fit in anymore. almost feels like guy mode is kinda blocked off to me now.

How common is this in the TG community?

[girlygirly]

I'm a guy who likes wearing girls clothing. I'm not so sure any of the labels work, although "crossdresser" seems to fit the best, because I wear womens clothing 24/7, and have for ten years. I don't try to pass, and am not all that interested in being part of a "community", unless it is an online one such as this, where I can set my own limits on how far it goes, along with where and when it stops.

I'm always a guy, but like to push my femme side as far as I safely can, without having to publicly acknowledge it to family or friends. I suppose some of them may have suspicions of their own by now, but I'm fine with DADT, because that keeps me from having to explain to others what I haven't been able to fully explain to myself. I'm cool with all that, too. If I figure it all out before I die, that's great. If I never do, I'm sure I'll have fun trying, because I truly feel comfortable in ladies clothing and enjoy it. I know I can die confused and happy, without ever batting an eye over how and why.

On other levels, I'm the woman in my own life, because I can dress, think and act like I'd want the woman in my life to behave. But on most levels I'm perfectly content with meeting and dating other women, which I do in ladies clothing without mentioning it. I have one very close GG friend who knows, and if a date ever asks or discovers anything, I'd be perfectly content with sharing as long as she seemed able to keep a secret.

People are like snowflakes, no two are the same, and stereotyping only leads to misjudgment. We are who we are, and there are many people who in some way want to be different than how they were born

[Jane G]

:eek:
. Did anyone ever stop to think that perhaps we need to change our perspective of our outlook to just be looked at as people? Just a thought. :)

I'm always just little old me. But when I'm dressed I have different mannerisms and people see me differently, so they naturally think of me differently as well. A smile and a personality go a long way to showing who we are, but clothes are such a strong influence on people's perception and people are so conditioned by society, that they will always make judgements and form assumptions based on what we are wearing. Then, if the rest of the package doesn't quite match the clothes, they will make further assumptions and labels will be applied, it's life and we live with it every day.

[StephanieC]

I don't know. I'm still trying to discover that. I find it hard to affix a label. Or maybe I'm afraid of the label because it will force me to face something I would rather not face. Is the fog "pink" or is it "blue". I'm not sure.

[Tina B.]

Well if it's Tuesday, I must be CD! But on other days, I'm a little TS, but then on Saturday, I'm all macho guy. I don't like labels, but, if I had to say, I'm a left wing, long haired hippy, Crossdressing old man, wow, no wonder I don't like labels!
Tina B.

[dawnmarrie1961]

Above all things I consider myself to be a PERSON first and foremost. What other people see is only a matter of their perception . The only good use for labels is for prescription medications. Every time I allow myself to be categorized and defined it diminishes me as a whole. I won’t buy into that. I don’t need it.
I know who I am.
I’m ME.
Accept me? Don’t accept me? I don’t really care. I’m going to continue to exist anyway. Despite it!
LABELS BE DAMNED!!!:eek:

[Samantha43]

I'm just a guy who is 100% male and likes it that way. I just have an unusual hobby. The label "crossdresser" seems to fit well.

[CarlaWestin]

Violet. pink + blue = violet Hmmmm, I like that!

[Pythos]

I am a male that prefers styles and looks that for some stupid and sexist reason are currently acceptably worn (according to most of society) by only one sex. This puts me into the category of Cross Dresser. I also psycologically fall into the category of Trans Gendered, because CDing is considered a transgender activity. I didn't apply these names to myself. These labels were applied to myself, and other men like me by a culture that MUST categorize things, and if necessary, de-humanize them.
The latter part I think is finally going away. But old notions die very very slowly.

[TGMarla]

What I am has definitely changed over the years. There were times when I felt that I was definitely transexual. But over the years, while delving into my marriage and the rest of the situations that make up my life, these feelings have waned. Much of that is by design. Perhaps I've managed to supress those feelings with some success. Whatever it is, while I'd still like to be a woman, I've turned away from that path, and embraced life as my wife's husband. And while I still enjoy "being" a woman when the opportunity presents, I am now more of a crossdresser than I am a transexual. But the TG label still applies.

[TxCassie]

I now concsider myself Transgender in the specific genre of crossdresser. I feel that since I as a male do not feel, sense, rationale as a the traditional masculine male, I can not in my mind claim to be male, not completely. I am gay, so my relation to other men is different than a hetrosexual's male relation. In many outwardly, general societial sense, I am equal to men. I enjoy the privilages of being male in this society.
Yet, internally, emotionally, mentally, I have a strong feminine sense, feeling, and perspective. I would say I am an effemminate man regardless how outwardly masculine I may appear or act. I believe that's where we sometimes get confused. We always think of effeminacy as what we see and the majority of concept is so internal and do not see. Self-Identity comes from the inside, even though it is assigned by the outside.

[eluuzion]

I decided early in life that titles and labels rarely accurately describe what a person really "is".

After giving this some thought, I really only use one method of "categorizing" people, including myself. It is a quick mental assessment, almost like a first impression. A person either HAS character or IS a character. It is like there is a little slider arrow that stops somewhere between these two opposing ends. I am typically pretty accurate.

That is all I need as far as "labeling" people. Kind of difficult to explain but it works for me.

:love:

[meri]

Abigail,
I very much agree that we should simply be viewed as "people". Anytime I have ever tried to put on a label for size, I discovered it didn't quite fit. It was either too limited or more vast than I could ever hope to fill. I view feminine vs. masculine as just one attempt to describe us and as many of you have already discovered, either one of these labels doesn't fit either... How can I be interested in old cars, tools and technology and skirts and sun dresses and be either feminine or masculine.

Many people have decided they have a feminine and masculine "side"... My take on it is there are no sides, it's all just me.. I yam what I yam...

I figure the bottom line is I am a spirit with a body -- but the closer I look at both of these labels -- the more holes I see.... I guess the real bottom line is, I don't have a clue, do you?

[SuzanneBender]

Great thread and yes if we could ditch the labels life would be easier. Our diverse group of folks that traverse the spectrum of gender are evidence that it just isn't that easy to categorize us. I like transgender its a catch all that really doesn't pin us down anywhere on that spectrum.

Now if there was a category for someone born biologically male that spent his life wishing he was a she, but built a great life as a male attempting to make that desire go away; then discovered that maybe what he was wishing for wasn't worth loosing that great life along with the love that existed in it one he discovered that short moments of being she was all that was needed to bring me serenity.. then that would be me...

I haven't found a name for that category yet..that is the reason I like Dr. Dyer's quote below.:D

[JustWendy]

Now if there was a category for someone born biologically male that spent his life wishing he was a she, but built a great life as a male attempting to make that desire go away; then discovered that maybe what he was wishing for wasn't worth loosing that great life along with the love that existed in it one he discovered that short moments of being she was all that was needed to bring me serenity.. then that would be me.

:yt: Well said, Suzanne.

[Inna]

It isn't easy to be all absorbing and all tolerant of every possible viewpoint from answers here within this thread.

As soon as I read into few I get the sense that some are masking something then others are trying hard of not hearing the WORD description because there is something that bothers them about it.

But then I catch my self being judgmental and that really bothers heck out of me, how can I, a transgender person be judgmental towards my sisters who speak their minds.

I guess the lesson and the label I have heard before used by a very beautiful and very spiritual Transgirl I know, stuck and rings true to this day: be a TRANSCENDER she once said, and she was so right, the label I am proud to wear.

[Ava McGhee]

Thank you Alexis, and Suzanne for the uplifting posts... maybe yours and others' positive attitudes might rub off on me. I think maybe it's time I sit quietly and read the posts of others and only chime in if I have something positive to say.. which means I'd almost never speak, LoL.

[kelsey12]

I'm female that's how I want people to see me some will some wont but if you were to give me some kind of compartment I guess I'd be TS but I just want people to see me for who I really I'm that's all

[SusanMarie]

Somewhere in between female and male. Where exactly is a big ???

[Kate Simmons]

Thanks everyone. You know when I pose these questions I just want to see what everyone thinks. Sometimes we are so close to it we don't look at the obvious. Carry on.:)

[Sara Jessica]

Now if there was a category for someone born biologically male that spent his life wishing he was a she, but built a great life as a male attempting to make that desire go away; then discovered that maybe what he was wishing for wasn't worth loosing that great life along with the love that existed in it one he discovered that short moments of being she was all that was needed to bring me serenity.. then that would be me...

There is a term for exactly what you describe Suzanne, it's called the Middle Path and as you know, it's a place you and I share in common.

I guess if we were to try to put the middle path into context of the TG umbrella, we might do so like this...

Order - Human Being
Family - Transgendered
Genus - Transsexual
Species - Middle Pather

*** simply using biological classification as a tool for analogy, not suggesting that one on the middle path is a distinct species.

[Dena]

I'm a guy who likes to wear clothing of all kinds!

[SuzanneBender]

Order - Human Being
Family - Transgendered
Genus - Transsexual
Species - Middle Pather

*** simply using biological classification as a tool for analogy, not suggesting that one on the middle path is a distinct species.

Ahhh so the actually scientific name for our category is Homo transgenderous transsexualis mid-pathologis. Thats a long name why don't we just settle for cute?:heehee:

[Sara Jessica]

Ahhh so the actually scientific name for our category is Homo transgenderous transsexualis mid-pathologis. Thats a long name why don't we just settle for cute?:heehee:

What a great laugh you just gave me Suzanne! I'll vote for cute as well :).

Nice to laugh after yesterday's tear-fest that was the last Harry Potter movie, good tears but tears nonetheless.

[Pythos]

I like cute too. LOL

[Frédérique]

When I think of others, I think about who they are as a person and not so much as a term describing what they are. Did anyone ever stop to think that perhaps we need to change our perspective of our outlook to just be looked at as people? Just a thought.

I “see” everyone on this site as an equal, so I rarely, if ever, make an effort to find out what someone IS, meaning what type of crossdresser they are, or what variation of transgendered individual they may be – it really doesn’t matter to me. I want to know how (or if) you feel about things, and I can best discern this from the words you choose to submit. Indeed, that's all I have. The clothes, or the penchant to dress a certain way, doesn’t factor into it – after all, I can’t see YOU…
:battingeyelashes:

[Sara Jessica]

I “see” everyone on this site as an equal, so I rarely, if ever, make an effort to find out what someone IS, meaning what type of crossdresser they are, or what variation of transgendered individual they may be – it really doesn’t matter to me. I want to know how (or if) you feel about things, and I can best discern this from the words you choose to submit. Indeed, that's all I have. The clothes, or the penchant to dress a certain way, doesn’t factor into it – after all, I can’t see YOU…
:battingeyelashes:

It's one thing to see things as you do Frederique, like aren't we all in the same boat?

Well in a manner of speaking, perhaps we are but it's not a little rowboat. Rather, it's a large cruise ship that for better or worse has different areas for like minded people to hang out.

Case in point, people who reside in different places on the TG spectrum naturally have varying points of view. I write about things that I feel and experience, things that matter to me, and at the same time I gravitate towards other's writing that speaks my language because like you, I enjoy reading what others feel. Yet taking something generic like panty threads *, those don't speak to me in the least bit (as in I really don't case so much how one "feels" about their undies) and as such, it kind of goes to show that not all of us are in the same area of the cruise ship, thus making these little descriptive labels very valuable.

* In all fairness, many of the peeps who enjoy those threads might not have too much interest in what's going on in TS-land.

[Fab Karen]

Ahhh so the actually scientific name for our category is Homo transgenderous transsexualis mid-pathologis. Thats a long name why don't we just settle for cute?:heehee:

I think you forgot SAPIENS in there, homo transgender etc. would be an oxymoron.

People don't have to call me cute, but I may pout if they don't. :)

[Billie Jean]

And a very good thought. If we could just be looked at as people, that would definitly help.
I know that is what I am just a all american red blooded male, Married, 2.5 Children, House, White picked fence. OK the fence is now gone. :heehee: just so happens that I like to help the economy by buying and wearing womens clothes.Me, and nobody else. Billie Jean

[Inna]

Why to be so scarred of descriptive?

Me!!!!!!! what is me, it is like saying car to the police officer when it was stolen, sure we all know what it is but what car, well it is red, oh well now we are getting somewhere.....what brand? what tag number? what....what... what....

Descriptive lets us see beyond the ordinary otherwise our language would consist of 7 words and Shakespeare would end at first sentence.

CD whats wrong with crossdresser, surely a person wearing lots of crosses, perhaps a devout catholic.

lighten up and be a transsender :)

[Duana]

I was never offended by labels... never understood why others were either. Labels make things simple and help others understand you. It doesn't mean, as I infer many believe, that you're dehumanized because youre labeled transgendered any more than it does someone labeled 'engineer'.

What I sense is a Utopian desire to globally change attitudes and perceptions. I have the same desire but realize it is an extremely challenging goal... one not likely to be achieved in our lifetime. The problem is exacerbated by the sheer number of CDs afraid to set foot outdoors. Until the 60-70% which never venture out, do so, its going to change slowly. Frankly it angers me but that's another thread.

My name is Duana and I'm a crossdresser. I am proud of the label. I embrace the unpassable on a daily basis. Am I scared? Hell yes but facing fears is how you get stronger.

I suppose I'm also a transgender but never refer to myself in that manner. Not for any negative connotations but because I don't feel worthy of the label. I'm really just a guy in a skirt.

[Cheryl T]

I am Cheryl.....nice to meet you!

[PowChubby]

I'm a definite male, who ocasionally likes to put on a skirt or long socks and be a bit sissy or gothy.

THough I've actually not done it about more than once @.@;

[SweetIonis]

Abbie,

Trying to figure out just who we are is a question that has perplexed humans for a long time.

[CynthiaD]

I'm a woman with male body parts. Not "the wrong parts" by any means, just male parts. I've never felt there was anything particularly wrong wit the way I was constructed. But regardless of biology, I've always been female.