Came out to Wife recently

[krissy_toronto]

OMG, ok I know I havent posted here in a while as my home life and career kinda get in the way but anyhow I am now fully out to the wife an loving it.

It all started about 8 weeks ago, I dont know what I was thinking but I was of all places logged in here. Well guess what? I forgot to logout and she saw everything one night while I was working late. Every post every pic posted. EVERYTHING. Well that phone call at work didnt go so well. I didnt know what to do, what to say. a big GULP in my throat and I said 'we will talk when I get home'
We had the chat about why, how could I? am I gay? bi? it was aweful almost to the point of me getting kicked out of the house. After a few more hours which also stretched into days she came to terms with it (sort of). She knows how it makes me feel, she knows I need Krissy in my life and want her (my wife) to be a part of it. Every day after that event 8 weeks ago got better and better, she is still a bit freaked out about it but wants me to be happy.. it is so weird... She has actually purchased us each a pair of heels online. strappy 6 inch stilletos for me and 4.5 inch ones for her. she picked me up some stockings because she didnt like the old ones I have and I can tell you that at this moment I have the nicest french manicure on my toes thanks to her. She loves my feet. I dont get it.
Do you think she is accepting to all this? I know she is still abit freaked about it especially when I wear my hose to work and no socks in my shoes. LOL.
She hasnt seen Krissy all done up but she knows I want to show her and she is ok with that, but I hope that seeing Krissy and not visualizing Krissy wont set her off in a bad way. Any gals have advise for that scenario. Who knows maybe we can wear our new heels and hit the town. LOL

[Jenniferathome]

Krissy, I came out to my wife in March. It has been nothing but fantastic. BUT, let your wife guide the pace of your new relationship. Talk often but let her see what she is ready to see, not what you are ready to show. You have all the time in the world. Take it slow

[Brenda Freeman]

Krissy, It sounds like it is going well. I came out to my wife a few years ago, she was upset shocked but after some cool off time the same questions you mentioned were discussed. We talked about Why,how and when I would dress the fears of others we know knowing, but it boils down to trust. She knows I will do nothing to hurt her or our relationship. You have to find a comfort level for both of you! I don't have to hide my stuff anymore, but she has not wanted to see me dressed! Its funny Last Halloween I was going to a TGirl party and dressed up, I asked if she would mind taking a picture (she would have to see me), she said well since its Halloween I guess it would be fine! I guess thats a start, Its actually getting better. If your wife is wanting to see you how fun! I would suggest if you have a few pictures in different outfits etc, maybe sit down and she could help you decide what to wear on your First show! You would also get a good read on her comfort, maybe she might jump in and have tips on make up etc! Anyway take time the dreams of going out as girls shopping etc. (my dreams too!)may happen or may not but take it a step at a time and talk together about feelings comfort level etc! I wish you the best of luck I do think that a wife that buys you six inch heels and wants you in better stockings and gives you a french manicure is probably going to be upgrading your make up and who knows what else! Make sure you talk about that, is it the love of discovering your fem side and the desire to help or out of fear of losing you! It is about Trust! Have fun life is short I think you are going to have a lot of fun together. Brenda

[krissy_toronto]

Thanks Ladies, I truely feel so much better that it came out and she seems ok with it (a little bit). A french manicure blew me away and heels to go with my already large collection is a start I think. I have more heels then her. She said she was jealous. As for dressing as Krissy to show her, you are both right. Let her dictate the pace, I truely do not want to push this on her as a 'i need to be krissy all the time' kind of thing. I truely hope we can do this and she does learn to accept it fully for what it is, who I really am. Im tired of hiding and it wasnt the best of circumstances but hell is it ever? I actually sleep better at night that my secret of over 30yrs is out and I can actually share it with someone. My Wife. :-)

[Tara D. Rose]

Congratulations Krissy. I know first hand of all the guilt that comes with keeping something like this, well just like this from a wife for many years. I'm all open to my new wife of just better than 2 years. Like others said before me here, take it slow, answer all questions honestly and leave nothing else out of it. You already feel like a huge boulder has been lifted off of you with your wife now knowing. I'm sure you would rather her have found out by you telling her and not her finding out though. But nonetheless it's out. And it will feel good to have Krissy's clothes hanging in the closet. You're now out, and out to the only one that needs to know. You will be so much happier now as life moves forward and not living with the guilt of hiding this part of you. Is she ok with you remaining on this site? Encourage her to become a member here as well on the FAB section so that she can learn as much as she can to bring the two of you closer than ever before. My previous wife blackmailed me out of $20,000 to keep my secret form my children and brothers and sister, but my now wife embraces thsi side of me. Good luck and happy dressing................Tara

[Cynthia Anne]

I think you and your wife will be happy and together a long long time if you take Jennifer's advice! Hugs!

[Eryn]

Krissy, Jennifer's advice is very sound, take it slow and let your wife set the pace. It's tough to avoid the Pink Fog now that your wife is in the know, but remember that you've known about this forever and she has had only a very sort time to get a handle on it. Also, don't be surprised if your own view of CDing changes as you discuss it with your wife. This is a learning experience for you both!

Tara's advice to have your wife join the forum and FAB is also good. Remember that you can talk to us about CDing but your wife is isolated. Being able to talk freely to other GGs who are in a similar situation is very helpful.

[suzanne]

You are one lucky, lucky lady! Lots of us in this forum are, regrettably, not so fortunate, so treat your SO like the goddess she is, go at her pace, and enjoy the ride. Remember, there still may be some bumps in the road to come, but they can be overcome by complete openness, honesty and patience, all of which you both have already proven to each other. Congratulations!

[Embraced Commitment]

You are one lucky, lucky lady! Lots of us in this forum are, regrettably, not so fortunate, so treat your SO like the goddess she is, go at her pace, and enjoy the ride. Remember, there still may be some bumps in the road to come, but they can be overcome by complete openness, honesty and patience, all of which you both have already proven to each other. Congratulations!

Hi Krissy!

My Spouse just came out to me recently also and we have been together for a very long time. I was surprised but there were also little hidden clues over the years, I thought it was just a fascination to the soft side of me. I made the connections immediately there after. Now, I must say that my spouse and I have a very good communication together (when we actually have the time from real life to talk unobstructed).

I will admit that I still have days where I wake up and feel a little twinge of shock, however it took a ton of guts to tell anyone this as my spouse is tight to the hip with personal stuff. I truly understand the outstanding circumstances that had taken so long for it to come out in the open to his Best Friend (me).

I helped her with her new name and we have been shopping till I drop LOL! It has been fun. My most important piece of advice is to be honest. Maybe have your wife join this site as there was a great merged topic about spouses and coming out. I am sure many other good topics, I just finally got the approval to post today.

Maybe the support from this group would help her and she would maybe not feel like you are the only one to talk to about this. If she is feeling hurt in any way maybe the support here will help her through that type of twinge of shock that I mentioned earlier in my post that I go through.

Good Luck to you and yours!

Embraced Commitment

[Jill Devine]

EC, I love the words on your avatar!

[trisha11]

Krissy,
I think it is wonderful that your wife is participating, I think that is a great sign, and the fact that she is buying your things is awesome. When I came out to my girlfriend I had the same fears, I told her that I dressed and did my makeup and had a wig, but I was so worried to show her Trisha. She kept asking so finally I showed her a few pictures, and guess what, she loved me, not just for Trisha but for my boy side as well. She knew and understood how much Trisha meant to me as well. I am so thankful that she is accepting because my exwife was not. Good luck and just let her continue at her own pace, because it appears you will be Krissy in front of her in no time.
trisha

[Diane Elizabeth]

Krissy I can't give you any advice. At least none that hasn't been said already. My wife is accepting a little. We have gone shopping and she has helped me pick out clothes. Other times she loaned me a top to go out in. But, she does not accept me transitioning as she says-"its not natural". She is usually bringing up things that she considers negative about transitioning. Like pointing out that I will lose muscle mass from the HRT. Or how my son and mother will react. Then there are her brothers and how they will react (not a problem there). So take it slow and easy and she may warm up to it even more over time.

[Jenny Doolittle]

It is so nice to hear positive stories as yours and the others that have posted in support. I too have told my wife of 37 years, and it was like removing a heavy weight from my soul. I wish I could say my wife was totally understanding as some of the others have said, but she is still very traditional in her views. She has been able to understand I am who I am and have a need to be my female self. She has even admitted that it is my fem-side that has made me so much more attractive to her then say any of my brothers. We have found our way, and I think become even closer in our partnership with the truth out in the open.

I wish all the best of luck in finding their way with loved ones. Each of us need to take their own path to happiness.

[mercterr]

Congratulations! You are very fortunate to have a wife who is so accepting. I am a little jealous.

[Joanna41]

Best advice anyone can offer is to let your wife set the pace of what she can and can't handle with your dressing. Ask her if she would assist you with your make-up! Do take the time to be her man as well. She did after all marry one. Be sensitive to her needs during this transition period for her. You will both benefit from it. But it sounds like yall are off on the right foot and she is willing to travel this path with you. My fiance and I do everything together...we shop online, in the stores, go to movies, sometimes just out for a drive. I've even been out to a club/bar one night as Joanna. While she loves the feminine side of me she deserves the man she fell in love with too. So in our relationship its always an open hide nothing communicating type relationship. Good luck and keep posting!

Joanna

[krissy_toronto]

Thanks all for all your support, I might just let her join here so she can maybe have a bit more support as well. It might actually help. I am going to let her set the pace for sure because Joanna41 you are absolutely right when you said "While she loves the feminine side of me she deserves the man she fell in love with too"

Wish us luck, will keep everyone posted.

Kisses

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Krissy, The ball is in her court now go slowly.

Orchid

[krissy_toronto]

Orchid
It sure is

[Erica Thorn]

Thanks all for all your support, I might just let her join here so she can maybe have a bit more support as well. It might actually help. I am going to let her set the pace for sure because Joanna41 you are absolutely right when you said "While she loves the feminine side of me she deserves the man she fell in love with too"

Wish us luck, will keep everyone posted.

Kisses

First of all congrats, nothing better then to have your loved one beside you and being supportive!
I also agree with the rest here that you should get her to join, my SO joined pretty recently but she tells me all the time how happy she is that I got her to join, an the she has learnt so much from the others here!