Wanting More

[Laurel B]

I have been finding myself wanting to dress more and more. To the point that I have been taking chances that I normally wouldn't. I am still in the closet, but have been finding it more and more difficult to not dress. I am married, 11 years with a 7 and 5 year old, who I have dressed around since birth so they don't no any different, but my wife doesn't know. Has anyone else had this, lack of a better word, problem?

[smokin brit]

I know how you feel, I live at home and am still in the closit also. Maybe its like a forbiden fruit thing, the more you can't do something the more you want it

[Ange]

I think once a person starts dressing it opens up a whole new world for them. At times dressing is all I want to do and I look for any moment I can dress even if it is only for a few minutes. I am in the closet too and many times I do my best to make opportunities where I can dress. I go thru periods of constantly wanting to dress and other periods where it is not such a big deal. Don't know why its that way if I knew I would tell ya. Good Luck!

[Danni Renee]

Once I came out to one person I found myself wanting to dress more and more. My coming out awakened something I had repressed for many years and it exploded and is still expanding. I think if you read some of the threads here you will find this is very common and can be enjoyable.

I have no idea how you managed to dress in front of the kids and your wife not know. That is just incredible. However, I think if you are wanting to dress more your first action needs to be telling your wife. From the things I have read on the forum, I do not think her finding out by you taking chances would be very helpful to the relationship.

I cannot give you advice on coming out to your wife because coming out to my girlfriend was a very tramatic experience for me even though she took it in stride and is very supportive. There are other people and threads that can provide better advice. But I do think if you want to continue dressing that you should tell your wife before she finds out through other ways.

Danielle

[Eryn]

Wanting more is perfectly natural, but it will lead to problems for you.

Danielle has it exactly right. If your 5 and 7-year-olds know it's rather incredible that your wife is still in the dark. I will guarantee that having your wife find out by accident will be much worse for you than if you tell her yourself.

You need to talk to her pretty soon. There are a lot of threads about how to do that and I suggest that your study them carefully.

[jennCD]

I solved my problem by simply telling my wife. I'll admit it was actually rather easy to do it. Of course, the next couple of weeks were stressful, but in the end the shared knowledge was much better than keeping it to myself.

During the first year, it became easier for us to speak of this aspect of me in passing and slowly we just kinda stopped talking about it. Granted, I have not been active at all for the last few years but it's not like there's any tension or stress that keeps me from dressing.... I simply have more important things to take care of and we both know that this is who I am and it's not going to change. I guess it's just not a dealbreaker considering the great relationship we have.

:)
jenn

[Alice B]

I agree with Eryn. If your kids know there is a good chance that your wife may suspect and a better chance that one of your kids are going to say something about it to your wife out of childhood inocense.

[Laura-uk]

I find myself dressing enfem after work all the time, having a 4 year old, mortgage & credit cards to pay = not getting out much & my s.o doesnt mind seen as im not too fancy just wearing leggings & that . It just feels normal to me

[kimdl93]

Lots of us have hidden around family members, but your situation is uniqe in that you have been open to the kids but not yur wife. I really think you need to have many long conversations with your wife BEFORE your kids fill her in for you.

[Cynthia Anne]

Wanting more is as common as water! I do agree your kids will spill the beans! So if you don't want burnt beans for dinner, you better 'fess up and soon! Hugs!

[Karren H]

"Dad has a dress just like that" keeps reverberating through my head right now....

[Vicky_Scot]

Wanting more is perfectly natural, but it will lead to problems for you.

Danielle has it exactly right. If your 5 and 7-year-olds know it's rather incredible that your wife is still in the dark. I will guarantee that having your wife find out by accident will be much worse for you than if you tell her yourself.

You need to talk to her pretty soon. There are a lot of threads about how to do that and I suggest that your study them carefully.

I totally agree with that. Can not believe your 7 year old has not told mummy that daddy likes to dress up when shes not there.