how

[slamddoger]

did you feel the frist time that you went out as women and the frist time out in to the malls.

[renee k]

Once the front door was shut behind me it was great. Now it's just an everyday thing. When I first started going out. I was preoccupied on how I looked and always had to stop by the mirror for a final once over. Then before leaving the car the "vanity" mirror on the sun visor was opened and checked my makeup. Which I still do. But once inside I'm just another woman looking for a bargain.

Renee

[kimdl93]

I'm about to find out. I'm getting a make-over at MACs this afternoon. I've already picked out the outfit I'll wear - casual, but entirely feminine. I'l let you know how it feels (I'm nervous) and how it turns out.

[5150 Girl]

I was nervous at first, but as I sat in that restraunt largly un-noticed, I was on cloud 9... I felt like a giant weight of a lifetime had been lifted off my sholders. Then we went to Wally World... Again, realtivly un noticed, untill this cowboy (hat and all) looked me up and down as he passed by, he even turned arround to get a look from behind. I was a bit shaken by this, and sid to my Polar Bear, "oh s**t, I think he "read" me". She said, "no dear, he was oggling you".
After that, my confidence grew, and it was "on" from then on!

[Karren H]

Extreme excitement and extreme panic all rolled into one.. Trying hard not to run, or cry or not to faint... Lol.

[Debra Russell]

Apprehension, excitement, relaxing joy, elated, complete,....ect,....ect,...wonderfully present and very peacefull :).........huggs Debra

[Annaliese2010]

My heart was racing mybreath was shallow my body disappearing for I was dieing as I set out to become what I became. I said goodbye to the life I once lead and opened my young transgendered eyes to a new world of color and brightness, patterns of movement and earthy scents sweet and intense. I was aroused by the soft friction of fine fabric randomly brushing my legs my thighs my arms and chest. My pointed nipples grew hard and erect and for the first time I fully understood the word 'titilate' by a deep dull achiness never before felt. Aroused in other ways too graphic to describe but easy to guess, an amorous showing too obvious for a dress. I was in command of everything that lay before my watchful eyes, once common now new and fresh. Mysterious. Alive! "There's nothing in the world now that doesn't hold some sort of... fascination." (Interview With The Vampire; Ann Rice). Thats when I learned the first lesson of my newly awakened transgendered self; the resonance I now share with others of my kind whose distant presence I could detect: that we are to be powerful, beautiful, and without regret. I knew in an instant I had no interest in the world of men. I felt the singular need to befriend only those who by birth or fates transgendered twist are deeply, genuinely, authentically femme. The need to share and comprehend this new world I find myself in and by our comingling and physical intimacy to ponder the mystery of each other. Tis a need that grows by year by month by week by day; by each dream dreamt in faith and hope, with bated breath and confidence.

[sue ellan]

like a cat in a room of rocking chair's. but it was sure fun after the rocking chairs were gone.

sue ellan

life is like a roll of tp. the closer to the end the faster it goes.

[Jillian Faith]

Nervous, self conscious, apprehensive, maybe a little paranoid......but at the same time so excited. Overall the experience was so liberating!

[Kim_Bitzflick]

I was SCARED OUT OF MY MIND. But now it's very relaxing and enjoyable.

[anonymousinmaryland]

LOVED Sue Ellan's reply: "Like a cat in a room of rocking chair's. But it was sure fun after the rocking chairs were gone."

[Cassidy]

Earlier this month went for a makeover/transformation (pictures were posted if anyone cares to look) and the artist suggested we go to the courtyard to take a few pictures. The studio is in an offce park with a courtyard between the two buildings. That trip to the comon area where folks go to sip coffee, smoke, take a break or whatever entailed traveling in an elevator and walking past a health club. In the past pictures were always taken in the studio. To say the least I was petrified. After posing for pictures we made the trip back past the health club and then to the elevator. The ground didn't open up to swallow me nor did I get pelted with rottin vegetables. Those that were in the courtyard either didn't notice or could have cared less. After a change of outfit we took pictures in the corridor outside the studio. While doing so persons visiting an office further down the corridor walked by. I don't know if I was numb to it or stopped caring. The video that was taken shows me shrugging my shoulders. Yeah I was a bit nervous about it but at the end of the day nothing happened.

[Eryn]

I was surprisingly calm after the first excitement. Everything just felt right with the world! I haven't done the mall thing yet but I'm looking forward to it!

[slamddoger]

so the frist time out as women is the hard part as the more time you go out it get easter to go out as women

[Kate Simmons]

Pretty much like I felt a woman should feel like Hon. I kept my head high and walked with confidence. I didn't go to the mall though, I went to a Renaissance TG Org meeting but interfaced with many people prior to going into the meeting itself. When you feel like yourself, not too much will rattle you.:)

[Cynthia Anne]

Scared, nervous sweaty to comfident complete happy and couldn't wait to do it again!

[Beth-Lock]

The first time I went to a mall, nobody seemed to notice me, after I went in. But it is in going bak to the car, that I ran into problems walking across the parking lot. I had to pass by the view of people eating and drinking in an outdoor cafe, and even though I tried to keep my distance, going the long way, a couple of young women singled me out and started laughing at me. I hated that restaruant with the outdoor cafe, for a long time until it eventually went bankrupt. In retrospect, I took the whole thing too seriously. After all, inside the mall I passed okay.

[Angiemead12]

A little weary at first, I was conscious to make sure I did not lock eyes with anyone and just minded my own business while I waltz through the racks.

[Robin Lee]

My heart pounding out of my chest. But a odd feeling of something so natural about it. Later at the mall I keep waiting for people to start staring at me, but everybody seemed to be more preoccupied in what they where doing and really didn't care that I was even there.

Best Wishes
Robin Lee

[kimdl93]

already posted to another thread, but it feels like it bears repeating. I went to MAC at Macy's today and got a complete makeover. It was the first time I'd gone public en femme....I loved it - and honestly I don't think anyone cared. A few women smiled at me as they passed...a few guys seems to shy away, but all in all, it was fine.

[Darlene-VA]

I remember being quite nervous and was mainly worried about falling down with the polished floors like all malls have. It turned out to be an enjoyable experience by the time I had walked through Macy's and several other of the large stores, ending up being very comfortable and have been going out ever since. So make the effort and it is well worth it, plus it is easier now than 20 years ago for people just don't seem to really care anymore.

[PretzelGirl]

I am a nervous person in general. When I first went, I had to wait for no one else to be at the door to go through. But I told myself before going that I would look everyone in the eye and smile and it worked! Everything was fun from there.

[Cheryl T]

Like everyone in the world was watching just me and that they all knew.
Then as I got more comfortable and I began watching them I saw that they WERE NOT watching me. It was a mixed emotion time as I was happy they weren't watching so I wouldn't be "read", but sad at the same time as I had gone to all this effort and no one noticed.
Now I don't care if they look or not and I do not look at them to see if they are. I simply go out and be me and do what I want to do...and it's great.

[charlie]

The first time I went out I went to a bar that is known to accept CD's and I had a skirt on, heels, no wig or makeup. It was weird, but several girls took me under their wings and got me dressing correctly. The first time I went to a mall fully dressed, I was sure that everyone was staring at me and I must look like a man in a dress! It isn't true, most people just don't notice or care. From 10 feet away I think nobody sees a difference.

[Robyn2006]

Tis a need that grows by year by month by week by day; by each dream dreamt in faith and hope, with bated breath and confidence.

God, Annaliese.. Perhaps the most wonderful post I've ever read here. Thank you.

[Rachel Morley]

My first time was a dress and drive and my wife Marla came with me to "protect me" and she was also the person driving. I felt a mixture of fear and excitement all rolled into one. After about 20 minutes my wife said "right, this is too easy. We need to get you out of the car." We drove to a large shopping center and parked some distance away from the store entrances. She asked me if I wanted to go inside the store. I chickened out and said no, that I just wanted to walk up to the store front and then walk back to the car. She walked with me. It felt so liberating but also scary too.

My second time was in a busy mall on a Saturday afternoon. Again my wife came with me. I was super nervous as we walked into the mall but much to my amazement no one seemed to be looking at me. I felt like the invisible man because it would seem that the "man" really was invisible as people seemingly treated me as the gender I was presenting as. We walked right past moms, kids, teenage girls, and also guys. Despite feeling really exposed and a mixture of fear and excitement all rolled into one, it was a moment in my life that I will never forget.

[Dian077]

Like most everyone else here has said....scared, excited and relieved all at the same time. I was not scared of getting read or found out, I knew I did not pass. I was just so scared that someone would make some kind of scene. Thats what scared me the most. I don't like attention drawn to me in male mode, I would have just died if it would have happened then, some where as public as the mall or restaurant. I felt relieved to finally be out in public, dressed the way had wanted to all my life. There were a lot of looks, but no one said a negative word or had a neg reaction.
All in all, I am very glade I did do it.