Job searching...

[Julie-Su]

Hey there! I made this profile a looong time ago back in my crossdresser days, and now I am actually transitioning and very happy about it :D I have come out to all my family and most friends and am facing one problem: I need a new job. I currently work at the Guitar Center over here in Bakersfield, CA and it is clear that a high-pressure, commission-based sales job is not a good fit for someone who is transitioning. (This is especially true since Bakersfield pretty much the redneck capital of CA.) I want to start applying at places however I am unsure of the best way to do so. Should I go to apply at these places as a woman, or as a man? I am completely unsure of what to do, and this has become a huge roadblock for my progress. Your thoughts?

-Nicole (need to change my username....)

[boardpuppy]

Nicole, this is really easy. You are transitioning, so you want to apply as the women you are. If I sounded uppidy, sorry. But I think you are to close to your problem. I have learned a couple of things from this site and one of them is you have to step back from the problem (your prospective of it) and deside what it is you want and reach/travel/strive for that goal. Easy girl, think of what you want, to have your body and mind match. Do you want your co-workers to know the drab you (before transition) and the real you (a women) in the same employment location. If you look at it in that light, I think you will see this is a no brainer.
Alice
PS I don't read to well, sorry Nicole.

[Katesback]

Have you legally changed your name? If you have not then ya might as well just go a a guy because NOBODY will take you seriously as a woman. Conversly speaking if you have indeed changed your name legally then there should be no question as to what you should do. More importantly if you get a job it is the wisest thing, I repeat the wisest thing to keep your mouth shut and NOT talk about trans related topics to ANYONE at your job. If you are a woman then be a woman. This is one of the hardest things for trans people to learn and that is to keep your mouth shut. Note I repeated the statments twice. I did that for a reason and that is because it is VERY important.

Katie

[Julie-Su]

Wow, such polarized responses, lol.

The way I see it if I were to work as a guy then I might as well stay at my current job, and if I go as a woman then it is very obvious that I am trans. I am planning to work out the name change very soon, as in the next week or two. I feel like if I change my name though, I will absolutely be needing to start switching jobs since it will cause complications within my current job. Now in the case of working as a woman and absolutely not telling them I am trans, I feel like I would be just hurting myself by coming off as blatantly dishonest, since the unfortunate truth is that I do not look like a genetic female. My stepmom tells me I should just go in as myself, lay the cards out on the table, and expect to get many doors slammed in my face before one turns out to be the right choice. Being upfront and forward is an admirable trait that I feel could help me land a job, whereas tiptoeing around the issue might blow up in my face.

-Nicole

[Aprilrain]

I'm assuming that since you still have your job that you are not out at work and have not legally changed your name. How long have you been on hormones? You could easily present as male for quite some time even after you start growing boobs. How easy will it be to find an equivalent Job? If you don't have money you're not going to transition PERIOD. Life will suck and you will be hungry and homeless before you know it! I would keep the job you have until your ready to go full time and look for new work in the meantime. You can do many transition related things and still present as male at work in fact in many ways this is probably simpler. You need to lose the facial hair so hair removal is a must and I'm sure you can grow your hair out at Guitar center. All the music shops I've been to had guys with long hair working there. Remember the economy SUCKS! and finding a new Job especially as a transwoman in early transition will be hard. What does your therapist think?

[AnnaCalliope]

I'd agree mostly with Kate on this one. Unless you're getting a job at a company that is openly GBLT friendly, its best to present as the gender that the government still labels you as. Now that doesn't mean that you can't go to the interview in drab, explain your situation and with proper approval come to work en femme. But at the early stages of transition, its gonna be a lot easier to find a job, especially in this economy, if you present as male using the name that's on your state ID. It sucks, but its worth it in the long run.

[Julie-Su]

Thank you everyone, very good advice!

Just for the record I definitely do not plan on doing anything drastic, such as leaving my job before finding a new one! I am fine with my current one however I just want a job where i feel comfortable transitioning. I do not find it necessary to just bite the bullet and present in drab just to make it easier to find a job, since I am already employed. I know its a tough job market out there, especially for trans people, but luckily since I do have a job I can take that extra time to do the long job search. Maybe I didn't explain it well enough but the reason for this thread was not to ask "should I or should I not try for a job where I can be out as trans?" but rather "I'm going to try for a job where I can be out as trans, what would be the best way to do that?" I hope you get where I'm coming from....

-Nicole

[Aprilrain]

Thank you everyone, very good advice!

Just for the record I definitely do not plan on doing anything drastic, such as leaving my job before finding a new one! I am fine with my current one however I just want a job where i feel comfortable transitioning. I do not find it necessary to just bite the bullet and present in drab just to make it easier to find a job, since I am already employed. I know its a tough job market out there, especially for trans people, but luckily since I do have a job I can take that extra time to do the long job search. Maybe I didn't explain it well enough but the reason for this thread was not to ask "should I or should I not try for a job where I can be out as trans?" but rather "I'm going to try for a job where I can be out as trans, what would be the best way to do that?" I hope you get where I'm coming from....

-Nicole

good plan. best way to do it in my opinion is to be as close to transitioned as possible when you start or go to look for a new job. I don't mean SRS just outward presentation. You can go tell people what your plan is in male mode and they are going to want to run the other direction! Even if you don't 100% pass if your face is cleared or nearly so and your hair is cut in a feminine style long or short ( personally i like long hair on girls, call me old fashioned) and your make up and over all presentation is pretty good and presentable you will be taken more seriously. I wouldn't even bother trying to look for a job with a female presentation and a male DL. I'm wondering if you can change your name legally but still use your male name at your current Job while you look for work else where. Not sure what your financial status is but school is always a good option too if you can afford to not work

[Badtranny]

Julie, Bakersfield? I escaped from that awful place back in 2006 so I feel a bit of a kinship with you.

I think of the many hurdles we face as TS women, the job/career is arguably the most significant. So far I think you have a great attitude about it and believe me that is the most important factor in your life right now. I lived in Bako for 15 years and I'm ashamed to say that place beat me. The oppressive bigotry (along with my fear of it) kept me in a confused state for many years. It wasn't until moving (to the magical SF Bay) that I was able to explore my feelings and finally admit to myself that I was TS. The strength necessary to come out in a place like that is admirable and that impressive strength of character will serve you well in the coming years.

The advice you're gonna get here will range from abysmal to awful with a few nuggets of wisdom mixed in with many nuggets of poo. (it's really hard to discern the content of the nugget sometimes)

Here's my nugget;
Keep your job, make a plan and keep your head. ...Oh, and get started with electrolysis immediately.

I broke the process into two parts, I began my social and personal transition about a year ago and have just begun my career transition. When I'm substantially complete with my facial hair removal, I will undergo FFS and then begin the process of changing my name. I am out now at my current job as a gay/gender queer but I can't be out as Trans because I don't want to transition there and I don't want them to know that I plan to leave. When I'm physically ready to start presenting full time, (after FFS) I will get a new job either as a transitioning woman or as a transitioned woman, whatever timing and politics will allow.

That is my plan, but I have two huge things going for me; San Francisco and professional skills that are in demand. Take what you can use from me and discard the rest. ;-)

[Diane Elizabeth]

I am planning to come out at work and get my name change and transition. HR says I will still have to use the male lockerroom to dress and use the restroom. After I establish my new se3lf then I will find another job as Donna. And I will have a work history under her name.

[donnalee]

Have you spoken with your boss yet? If you are a successful commissioned salesperson, as it seems you are, I think they'd be loathe to lose you, for whatever reason. The music industry is one of the most accepting for LGBT people as any; the fact that you work for a nationwide chain is another big asset on your side. They likely have an anti- discrimination policy in place; please check it out before doing anything drastic.
Bakersfield itself, I know (PM me for details), is a different kettle of fish. If you need to stay in that area, you will have a problem with ANY job. If you are considering relocating, Guitar Center has LOTS of different branches all over the country.;why not try for a transfer to a more accepting community?

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Julie good luck!!!

Approach this like any job question.. Kate is right about the name. If you go as a woman. you must make sure they understand this is permanent.. having a male name does not make that impression.
You will be shunned quite often in a job search. But taking on a transitioned person is a much better deal for a business then taking on a transitioning person.. the KEY point is that if you are officially female in name and gender, then you never have to tell them anything else..even if it's obvious you are trans.. the company has the chance to simply decide if you can produce for them...

Are you fully up to speed on everything you need to do to transition?? for example, i was not aware of what an involved process my county had for name change. it wasn't hard to do, it just took forever.

I go into my guitar center here in nj all the time.. I went there as a guy, i went there as a freaky looking pre transition guy, and now i go as me... i see people looking for the best gear.. i would think this is not a bad place to try to transition..

Melissa's very pragmatic approach is something you should consider..you need to take everything you have going for you into account before deciding anything..and don't ignore the possibility that you can transition at guitar center..

[Stephenie S]

Listen to Kate, for goodness sake. What you are hearing is the voice of experience. Why discount it?

The question seems to me to be: Do you want to be a tranny? Or do you want to be a women?

If you transition on the job or look for a job where you can transition, you will ALWAYS be "that tranny". What are you? If you're a guy then go get a guy job. If you are a women, then change your name, change your SS card, change your DL and go get a job as the woman you know you are.

S

[Katesback]

You know something. Perhaps people tend to go through the "I am a tranny stage" where they dont see any other way to do it but to advertise thier difference. I went through that stage to some degree or another and I am guessing you did as well. Perhaps in reality it is just part of the process and words of wisdom are really not ignorred but cannot be processed because the person reading them cannot even remotely associate with them.

Perhaps another example would be say a Jewish Rabbi telling me something that has been gained from experience but putting a Jewish spin on it. Well I would probably ignore everything he is saying because I am not Jewish and cannot associate his wisdom with the Jewish spin.

Perhaps it is just the case that the mass of trans people have to live through these stages in order to finally come out of the tunnel at the end. What makes it hard for women like you and I is that we dont want to see people make mistakes and hinder themselves but perhaps we just have to step back and let them.

Katie




Listen to Kate, for goodness sake. What you are hearing is the voice of experience. Why discount it?

The question seems to me to be: Do you want to be a tranny? Or do you want to be a women?

If you transition on the job or look for a job where you can transition, you will ALWAYS be "that tranny". What are you? If you're a guy then go get a guy job. If you are a women, then change your name, change your SS card, change your DL and go get a job as the woman you know you are.

S