I'm not sure.. but I think I've been objectified!

[Violetgray]

Okay, so many of you by now know I do standup comedy. One of the clubs I go to is run by a guy who is generally a good guy but whose demeanor is very business-like all the time and he "wears his mind on his sleeve" as they say. He seems to put a lot of stock in appearances, and 98% of his waitresses are very thin, pretty blondes wearing leggings and showing cleavage. The Hostess who greets you is a thin, drop-dead gorgeous charismatic girl. I don't think any of this is by accident.

Anyway, He was the very first to give me a chance perform at an actual club as Violet. So I walk in, and the very first thing out of his mouth was "Damn, I'd F-ck you!" Then, " You should probably lose about 15 pounds, then you'll be sexier."

Just last week he hires me to host a comedy contest and he says, "Are you coming as Violet or not? You know what? Don't care, surprise me. But if you come as Violet, be sure to wear some sexy heels onstage."

So this same guy has told me to lose 15 lbs. and wear higher heels. Is it me, or is he trying to mold me into one of his fembots? lol

God bless him for how relatively accepting he's been though!

[marny]

Sounds like a good gig. Sure the guy is a sexist pig....but he is in showbiz and that is where you want to be. If you persue it work on your hard shell!

[Farrah Rose]

thats cool hes cool with violet hosting/doing comedy at his place, but the way he want you to portray yourself is kinda messed up, quite a quandary. So haha i dont know if i should like or dislike the guy. lol. decisions decisions.. so whatcha thinking about doing?

[Cynthia Anne]

He knows where the money is! And someone as beautiful as you will bring it in! Hugs!

[boardpuppy]

He's in business to make money, he sees he can make money with you as hostess. Be eveery carryful of any contracts he sends your way, written or verbal. If you want show bess, go for it, you have the looks but again get a lawyer a very good one and have lots of fun.
Alice

[docrobbysherry]

It takes all kinds, Violet. U haven't yet said whether or not u LIKE his attention to u or not!

Personally, I'd be VERY FLATTERED if anyone who saw Sherry in person said anything even approaching a come on!

[jennCD]

I'd say get out those higher heels and be ready for showtime. As far as dropping 15 lbs, I'm not seeing it from your photos and I doubt it would be a dealbreaker for him so why not enjoy the buffet afterwards!

:)
jenn

[Loni]

time to lawyer up.

and have fun.

[lynn_lynn]

I always take it as a complement when people approach me with a high degree of sexuality: many times the talker and not the earth shakers..

[Vickie_CDTV]

Anyway, He was the very first to give me a chance perform at an actual club as Violet. So I walk in, and the very first thing out of his mouth was "Damn, I'd F-ck you!" Then, " You should probably lose about 15 pounds, then you'll be sexier."

Wow, was this guy raised in a barn or something? Back in the old days he'd be slapped if he actually said that to a woman. Sure is not how I was raised to treat women.

[Jeanna]

You could have said back "If you want to lose 15 ugly pounds, Cut off your head!"

[Danni Renee]

Violet, I am glad you are getting your shot to do your show enfemme and that he is accepting and wants you to work. However, what you have described could be considered sexual harassment. If you are okay with his comments, then have fun and enjoy the stage. However, if it gets to be too much you need to tell him to stop. Only you know what you are comfortable with. Don't put up with something you do not like. Good luck and I hope to see you on TV soon!

[Tina B.]

He is not hiring you to park cars, That is show business sweetie, it goes with the profession you choice, do like everybody in the business, put on your high heel, tell everyone your on a diet, do the show and then go out for a big dinner afterwords! How can you not be nice to the guy that gave Violet her break, it's not like you where ever going to wear flats. As good as you look I bet there are plenty in the audience that are objectifying you also, enjoy the attention!
Tina B.

[Sandygal]

Maybe there is a good way to think about. When your in girl mode, he's not treating you any different than any of his other girls.

[kimdl93]

Yep, he's definately projecting a bit. On the positive side, you're obviously good for business.

[TGMarla]

Well heck yeah, he's trying to make you appear like one of his "fembots". But here's the thing....it does two things for him: it makes you appear more how he likes the women around him to appear, and it molds better to his rather successful business model. Let's face it, when he offers up an environment with sexy women in his establishment, he will attract a better crowd more willing to part with their money. But on the on the other hand, I'm glad he has no problem with you presenting as a sexy woman, either. And since you can pull it off, why not?

[Maxine_b]

Yeah...sexist pig! But he is right about the heels ;-)

[Pythos]

I have to admit. I am astonished at some of the responses here essentially justifying what this guy did.

This is objectification pure and simple, and the guy if he said it in the manner I read, is a sexist pig. Pure and simple.

Just because he is "in the business" does not justify his actions. Perhaps the "business" is in need of a little revamping.

[JenniferR771]

Violet,
So...if he wants you in sexy heels...does that mean he will pay for new shoes? He should--its a business expense. It is likely he has fired his waitresses for gaining weight. Objectified to the max--he is all business. Expect more of the same.
And be ready to go elsewhere, if he pressures you to go anorexic.

[Chickhe]

Take the guys input and use it to improve your image. He may have a sexist way about it, but it is still feedback and it sounds like he knows what his customers want to see. I would question it more if this was not a showbusiness, but it is, so image matters. There once was a very good pizza place near where I live and the female staff were wearing short skirts... it was tasteful and such, had a 50's gangster style in the place, but once the owner got married and his wife got involved in the business it failed, she changed the decor and dress to casual and customers stopped coming. Not everyone may like girls in short skirts, but many do and I think we loose something when places like this shut down.

[Schatten Lupus]

That's quite the situation. He accepts you enough to admit he'd screw you, have you as a hostess, and tell you should loose 15 pounds.
Yes, you were objectified in the general sense. However, it is his business, and he'll run it as he sees fit to make money. And making it does require sacrifices. Don't be the guy's bitch and do everything he says, but as long as you are comfortable and it gets you exposure then really it is doing what you must.

[Violetgray]

To be honest I'm not completely offended, I just look at the situation with sort of an amused eyerolling. Like most T-girls it pleases me greatly to be accepted, and as ashamed as I am to admit it part of me is thrilled that he at least accepts me enough to objectify me.

On the other hand I realize that this is only somewhat amusing because I've gotten to live most of my life as a male, and wasn't raised into it from birth.

[Debra Russell]

Hot Diggity go for it!!!!!..........Debra

[susiej]

In this particular situation, the guy's comments could be considered professional compliments and suggestions -- if you're willing to be generous! His first bears some special consideration, because he was seeing Violet for the first time, knowing intellectually who she really is. Now that the surprise has worn off, and after he's made what sensible directorial comments are appropriate, IMHO he's got to toe the line, or he's into sexual harassment territory.

And BTW, Violet, you look great as-is; never mind the 15 pounds. Break a leg and knock 'em dead.

[Rogina B]

You are handling it just fine....a good chuckle out of it..He likes your female personna obviously.Make sure the new heels are comfortable...lol..I know I wouldn't mind having him under control ! Tell us how it progresses..

[Kaitlyn26]

I like this guy. Say wtf you mean and to hell with stereotypes! I think if you're good for business he's going to keep employing you regardless of your weight. He was probably serious about the heels and presenting as Violet though. Like it or not hosting a show does require you to appear in keeping with the establishment and he probably thinks Violet will be good for business.

If you don't like wearing heels you can always do the job as a male. Wear a ridiculous tie, a suit, and stiff slick dress shoes with annoyingly thin socks. Personally, I'd rather wear the heels for the "sexist pig" than suffer through male dress shoes. Anyone else ever feel like you're skiing when you get on carpet with those?

This kind of reminds me of my first job. Our manager was a middle aged woman and most of her employees were young and/or attractive men. She had control over the size of our uniform incidentally because it was a matter of company standards. We each had on uniforms about three sizes too small. The women working under her complained that their uniforms were too baggy. She was a massive joke at our high school because we all knew what she was doing. Be careful about throwing around the term "sexist pig" because he didn't do much beyond test Violet's tolerance for things that are very real expectations in show business.

[DeniseNJ]

Violet, from the pictures I have seen of you, you present yourself as a sexy woman . You being pretty is what I believe sparked his comments. Thinking WOW she makes a hot looking woman... I can see that you are not too offended becauses he see's you in the same light as the other hot sexy girls that he has working there. I say be a little flirt and be funny and enjoy the fun!!!

[victoriamwilliams1]

He has issues and that is our entertainment business it is full of men like him and we have to at times play the game and still hold control. Those of us who work in the Entertainment business know this and for me in guy mode I am not like that at all, however if I am casting a person for a project I am doing they have to fit in with the role and we have to say things that in the genral world would be considered wrong however image is everything for a project.

I have read some of the responses and he as a business man is in the business to sell a image and I do not agree with that fembot image however if his business if full that is working for him. Now for you as a performer in the business I would be myself and maybe try what he suggest which to me if you give in to what he wants he will add "come in a shorter skirt and show some more cleavage" that list would grow so I would do it on my terms and look into getting an agent/manager for you comedy career as it is about to take off:)

Now to the fembot question: he could be, if he ask you come as a blond I would say yes he wants you to be one of his fem bots.

[DonnaT]

He clearly thinks of women as sex objects to be ogled.

It might be the nature of his business to hire people like that. Some women don't mind the attention, as evidenced by Playboy ;)

Good luck with your gig.

[Samantha43]

Girls! Give the guy a break! You have to remember that the club manager was speaking to Violet man to man. Men will say things to each other that they would never say to a woman. Violet said he is very business like and we don't know if he speaks to his female employess like that.

Violet, get out the stilettos and go for it! It could be a great opportunity for you.

[CynthiaD]

Yes, you've been objectified, but if you want to feel like a real woman you've got to take some of the bad with the good. Make the best of the situation, and if you decide it's too much you can split later.

CK

[Dr.Susan]

He sound like a typical tranny chaser.

[Loretta]

He sound like a typical tranny chaser.

As opposed to?
How many tranny chasers could you know?