Going out solo

[Sara82]

So I'm planning on taking a trip to nearby city next weekend, getting a hotel, and spending a night on the town as Saya. My goal is a also hit a club which I read is extremely trans friendly.

Does anyone have any experience going solo to a club? This would be my first time really going out as Saya, so I'm a little nervous to say the least. I never like going out to clubs by myself, even as male, but I don't want to miss this opportunity!!

any words of wisdom would be great!

[Noel Chimes]

Saya, first of all take a deep breath and relax. Fear of the unknown is always scarry. Depending on when you plan to go out, check out the establishment beforehand and try to get a feel for the place. So if you plan to head out on Saturday night go there Friday evening en drab and look the place over. If the vibes feel good to you then I say GO FOR IT. Above all be confident in yourself and be aware of your surroundings (i.e. parking lots, dark corners, people lurking in the shadows, etc) Also get the phone number to the club. Give them a call and see if someone can be looking out for you. That's what I did the first time I went out solo here in St. Louis. Other than that GO HAVE FUN GURL!!!!!!!!

[amander-]

hi to you
i am planning to go out to and i wish you good luck and have a grat time and have fun.

[Karren H]

if you really don't like going to clubs then why would you think you would enjoy going just because you changed your clothes? Obviously I'm missing something... Personally I've found that going to a place I like enfemme makes the experience better. Going to somewhere I don't like.... Well.... I don't go because I don't like going there. Lol.

[kimdl93]

I have just started going out. My advice is to do a little research to chose the venue that suits you.

To be honest, I wasn't thrilled with my first time at a gay bar. But I found it was more time of day and my timing. The staff were really friendly and receptive, but it was the after 5 crowd, so I was the only TG person in the bar. I wasn't there to hook up, just wanted to be out "dresed". So, I felt out of place.

The next time out, I just went to a restaurant popular with gay and TG clientele. It was a lot more fun.

[sherri]

Done it a gazillion times. Not many CDs here who are willing and able to get out and about, so I'm nearly always the only CD at the clubs. If you're confident the club is tg-friendly you don't have anything to worry about. The crowd at a typical gay/lesbian bar can be a little stand-offish toward a CD, especially if no one knows you, but then too, it's not at all uncommon for someone to reach out and break the ice. Try to avoid the deer-in-the-headlights demeanor, smile a lot and be responsive to friendly overtures. Worst case, you'll have a rather solitary evening of people-watching, but at least you can enjoy being out and about in a skirt, right? Best case, you might just make a new friend or two. Either way, if you haven't done this before, I predict you'll enjoy the experience.

[Stephenie S]

I'm kinda with Karren on this. If you don't like clubs, why would you go? What fun would you have?

Choose something you LIKE to do and do that. For me, that usually involves eating. LOL

S

[Kim_Bitzflick]

I'm with Karren too. Go someplace you enjoy going.

I don't like clubs, but like you when I was first starting out I went to a gay club someone receommened. The club was OK, but I am such a shy person & NO ONE said anything to me. I left after a couple drinks.

Since then, I just go where I like to go such as movies & restaurants.

Also, I notice very few GG's go to a club alone. If you go with someone you at least have a person to talk or dance with.

[Duana]

I love going to clubs whether tg friendly or not. My experience in gay bars is that 95% of the men will ignore you, 3% will compliment your dress and 2% will hit on you. Some have been aggressive including trying to kiss me, touching my butt or breasts. One tried to pull my top down. But nothing I can't handle.

The strangest thing for me was getting used to kisses on the cheek and hand but now Its no big deal.

[DaniIfeelike a woman]

I too have this fantasy. Going somewhere different and get all dressed up and going out to see what it would be like. I love to pose in front of my webcam and posing for pictures. I would like to see the reaction of others in real life. I am not afraid of a lot of things, knowing martial arts but being afraid of not being accepted is something I probably scary. Being new to this also is something very different for me. Good luck Saya, I hope you tell us how it went. thanks.

[Sherina]

I travel a lot for my job, so I know what is like to get dressed and go out to a new to you club. I have gone out to a couple clubs when I have traveled and it is always an experience. Yes, I go alone and I used to not like going out alone too. I know you said "alone" and not that you don't like going to a club, just going alone.

First, the plan. You'll want to make sure you know your route to the club and back to the hotel. Are you going out to just try it or are you going to go dance (that is what I like to do) or are you going out to seek some personal fun? If you are going out to just try it don't be a shy wall flower, make eye contact and be friendly. If you are going out to dance then make sure you get out on the floor. Even if you go on to the floor by yourself, you'll find that someone else will join you even if just to dance. If you are trying to find something else use caution. Keep in mind that if you are alone you have to drive back and don't want to get busted for DUI. Unless you are close enough to walk or take a cab.

Second, The Hotel. Keep in mind that unless you checked in female mode you'll have to take a deep breath and relax before stepping out the door. Make sure you have all of your items and walk as though you own the world. As Noel Chimes said, through out this adventure beware of your surroundings going to the club and coming back to the hotel. If you are driving use your GPS and keep your speed in check.

Third, The club. Congratulations, you made it! Remember I said make sure you have everything? The things would have included your ID, some cash, your room key and maybe some protection. If you took Noel's advice and scoped the place out before, then you'll already know where everything is. Other wise get yourself a drink (Mine is 1/2 OJ and 1/2 soda water) and check the place out. Know your exits, where the ladies room is and the seating. Now that you're at the club have some fun! Don't just sit there and hope someone will come and ask you to dance or sing or even talk to other girls and guys. Think of it like this, if you only wanted to see what it would be like to go out to a bar, then just find a CD bar.

I am always a little nervous before heading out but find that once I get to where I am going, I say "the heck with it, I'm here to have fun!" DARN IT! So enjoy yourself. Keep us posted pretty please!

Oh, and I also like going out with my wife too. Even then we both have fun!

[Samantha W]

My experiences have been similar to Sherri’s. At the end of my first night out the biggest surprise was that nothing really surprising happened. Walking the few blocks from my hotel I get a few looks, but once I’m inside the attention I get is all positive and happy.

Remember to bring all the makeup you need and bring an extra pair of nylons.

Don’t drink too much.

Wear the outfit you love the best!!! Look as awesome as you can.

Bring a camera!!!

Post those pictures and tell us all about it as soon as you can!!

The hardest part is overcoming the mind games you play on yourself about what other people think.

[cyndi2be]

I have done the club scene - getting there was always by car - didn't drink - sort of just hung out - felt OK - wasn't ever hustled

[kimmiegal]

Why don't you post the name of the club in this thread and ask if any of us has been there before? This forum is the one with the best advise!

[Stephenie S]

Remember, women don't go out alone at night. If you are trying to blend in as a woman, you are SOL. Single women out at night are almost always assumed to be "working". As such you can attract attention you may not welcome.

As long as you are aware of this, go and have a good time.

S

[Sara82]

Jeez I thought i was clear. I do LIKE going to clubs, just not ALONE! Unfortuantely because I have no friends who know Saya, I must go it alone if I want to sieze the opportunity to get out.(which is really rare for me to have this opportunity)

As you said most girls perfer to hit the club with atleast 1 friend.

Anyhow I appreciate you ladies sharing your experiences, I'm still debating going at this point, but the club is actually called "Goodhandys" in Toronto Canada. Has anyone gone there?? The hotel I found is literraly right around the corner for convienance.

xoxo

[Sherina]

Wow! Right around the corner? Now that is nice. I have never been to there but if you were out here in Cali we (Me and my other half ) would gladly meet up with you and go out and have a blast. Maybe one of the girls here live near there and could meet up with you.
Remember to take the room key, your ID and a go get'em attitude.
Like I said in the earlier post, get out there and have a blast. Dance, live, laugh and have fun. And if you get the chance, love it all.
Let us know, even if you decide not to go. But I will say this, I have gone out to dance clubs alone and ended up dancing with other CDs that sense you out on your own to have a good time.