Have you had any bad experiences coming out of the closet

[Nigella]

Only those members who have responded to the thread Do-you-not-regret-coming-out-of-the-closet (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?157878-Do-you-not-regret-coming-out-of-the-closet) can respond to this thread NO COMMENTING ON ANY POST WILL BE PERMITTED.

Please tell us about any bad experiences you have had about coming out.

[Loretta]

I haven't had any. I'm very particular about who I come out to.

The closest I've had to a bad experience is when I came out to my aunt in time for a drag pageant. When I was getting ready, my uncle came in, and started screaming about how I shouldn't be taking so long, as I wasn't a woman.
To be fair, I was painting my nails, and he was running late (plus, he still has no idea).

[Lorileah]

I don't remember any. Everyone I have told was either happy, interested in why or how, or ambivalent

[Rianna Humble]

The nearest I have come to a bad experience would be an oik shouting that I was a c*ck in a frock whilst I waited for a bus one evening and a brother who had difficulty coming to terms with my news although he later told his daughter and his daughter-in-law who each sent me friendship requests on facebook as a direct result.

[Melody Moore]

I had have no experiences since coming out that I would ever describe as 'a bad experience'.

Any negative experiences I had I expected anyway, I don't see any bad experience as a negative
because there is always something very positive that can be gained from all of life's experiences.

[arbon]

If it had just been a few poeple knowing I was a crossdresser I don't think it would have been a big deal so long as they did not see it (though the thought of people knowing used to terrify me).

But where I am only presenting male at work and livng / presenting the rest of the time as a woman with the intent of transitioning full time, there is deffiniatly a negative side to it. A few of the things that come to mind right now -

My employer has threatened to terminate my job and i have basicly gone from being well respected and relied on by the companies owner to being the person he can't wait to see go. That is why I am still presenting as male at work.

My daughter is often embarresed to be seen out in public with me and it can be extremly painful to see her sturggles with the changes I am bringing into the family. It has had a huge impact on her life.

It hurt my wife a lot when I took it to this level and it put her on the firing line with her family, firends and and in the community. It turned her life upside down. We are still best friends but the intimate relationship we had is certainly gone.

I imagine telling my mom about me would be comparable to telling her I was terminally ill. After almost a year she is still crying and reminds me all the time about how hard this is on her and that she is praying for me.

I hardly ever talked to my brother.



Those are a few of the things I can think of, probably the bigger and more imprtant ones. it just is what it is. And really over all it has not been nearly as bad as I had expected it would be. Just some of the negatives I have experienced.

[Wendy_Marie]

I guess the only bad experience I have really had is from one of my older sisters...who hasn't spoken to me since I first opened up to her and revealed my true self...the couple of times she did contact me were via Facebook and were very brief and to the point.

[LitaKelley]

Hmm... My entire experience has been overwhelmingly positive... however, almost destroyed my marriage.. BUT, the separation led me onwards to living full time and coming out to my own mother whom shockingly is supportive and accepting, come out to several more friends and family and am beginning to transition.. after 2mos apart, my wife decided to come back and has come back 100% fully accepting, SOBER and in treatment, etc.. I can't really view the separation and almost end of my marriage as negative considering how positive the end results are..

[Pythos]

Honestly, I have really not encountered anything bad...to my knowledge. Who knows what people behind my back say.

There was only one really negative thing that happened, but that was years ago, when my ladyfriend and myself were headed to the Goth club. I was skirted, she was in some beyond sexi get up. We encountered for all intents and purposes a bum. He asked for spare change, of which we had none. So he said something stupid like "Your girlfriend's a ****, and you are a faggot". I found that amusing cause I had a girlfriend, and yet I was so obviously gay. LOL.

But aside from that and a christian saying I was going to hell for crossdressing, as well as my mother's negative reaction to anything I wear that is "weird", I have encountered little if any negativity.

[Holly]

The only one I can think of is when I told a former pastor who was also a friend. I served as an elder in the church for over eight years. My wife and I financially helped his family on more than one occasion. When I told him I was TG he said that I was going to hell and that he would pray for me. Haven't heard a word from him since. I would be less than truthful if I said that it didn't hurt.

[Lorileah]

One of the tenets of the New World Christians is that we all have sinned so they are in the same boat. But it did bring back a memory that will have to edit my original post. I too was told I was going to hell. Crossdressing is the least of my sins for that though so I didn't worry when the MIL told me that. Actually if she is the example of who goes to heaven, leave me out. She also told me I was ugly, but I forgave her

[kimdl93]

Hmm... My entire experience has been overwhelmingly positive... however, almost destroyed my marriage.. BUT, the separation led me onwards to living full time and coming out to my own mother whom shockingly is supportive and accepting, come out to several more friends and family and am beginning to transition.. after 2mos apart, my wife decided to come back and has come back 100% fully accepting, SOBER and in treatment, etc.. I can't really view the separation and almost end of my marriage as negative considering how positive the end results are..

Wow, Lita, talk about a remarkable turn of events. I suppose its a bit too much to suggest that coming out helped your wife deal with her addiction, but at the very least, it may be that by coming out, you upset the status quo and forced her to come to grips with her reality as well as yours! Congratulations!