Name changed FINALLY!

[Aprilrain]

So my name will be officially changed on friday. My gender is already changed with the BMV so when I go for my new DL it will be automatically updated. I feel like this has been the longest month of my life waiting for the courts to do their thing! Now I can register for school and look for a job as ME. whew!
Its just in time too because people were starting to seriously question my identity when I had to show ID. My current DL has a picture of a guy with a goatee LOL.
They almost wouldn't let me take money out of my account yesterday at the bank! The Teller, a very attractive older woman, said, "Long journey?" I said yes but was thinking it's only just begun! A few days before that I was out of town and rented a hotel room. The guy at the front desk said, "Um this isn't you...... is it?" I said, "Yes but thank you I'm flattered!"
Now I need to get a new pilot certificate, SS card, Passport, insurance card, bank cards, school ID, gym card,....... OH jeez! Im am going to be a very busy woman the next couple of weeks!

[TeaganNataliaAcheson]

Very Cool! So lucky! where ya from? did you have to have your srs before gender change? I have been told to different things in my state.

[ReneeT]

Congrats! It must feel nice to have all the pieces coming together

[AnnaCalliope]

Very Cool! So lucky! where ya from? did you have to have your srs before gender change? I have been told to different things in my state.

Me too. Here in Portland, to get my DL changed, all I need is a letter from an approved therapist. But to get my birth certificate and SS card switched over, I need proof of GRS. Its so inconsistent.

[Badtranny]

Congratulations Miss Thang!

That is such a huge step.

[danielleb]

Sounds like I need to fake documentation to be from OH and born in a different state. If they'll let you be female so easily they must just let anyone change genders over there!:tongueout

Congrats, and good luck on the impending job hunt!:D

[Laurie Ann]

Congratulations one more thing to check off the list. Name change check, gender marker changed check, genital reassignment working on it.

[CharleneT]

Congratulations !! Life is a lot easier when all the ID's match up !

[StaceyJane]

That is wonderfull news!

[pamela_a]

Congratulations and have fun changing your name on everything.

[Bree-asaurus]

Wow, what timing! We're (bf and I) changing our names on the 19th. That's when the court date is... we'll go to the DMV on Monday.

Congrats on getting it done :) I bet it's going to feel amazing come Friday :D

[Jay Cee]

Congrats, April! It really is a great feeling to get that done.

[arbon]

Wow that is awesome! :) Very happy for you.

[Aprilrain]

Very Cool! So lucky! where ya from? did you have to have your srs before gender change? I have been told to different things in my state.
In Ohio you do not need to have SRS to change the gender marker on your DL. All i needed was a form, provided by the state, filled out by my therapist. It was stupid easy. The name change was relatively painless as well though it cost money and does require about a month between submitting the paper work at the court house and going back for the final name change. Still no to bad. the big downfall of being Born here is that Ohio is one of like 4 states where you CAN NOT change the gender on your birth certificate. : ( they will amend it but if anyone wants to see it they will still see your birth gender.

[Melody Moore]

Way to go April, it is such a huge weight off your shoulders when you
don't have to keep carrying a man around in your purse or handbag! :heehee:

Anyway, on the subject about changing gender markers, IDs & GRS/SRS.

It is standard policy now in many countries & states around the world to change the gender markers
on your drivers licence without GRS/SRS, but many other government departments haven't changed
their policies to allow that without GRS/SRS, including Tax & Passport/Immigration departments & Birth,
Deaths & Marriages Registries. So there is still lots of discrimination that still exists in the upper echelons
of our governments - but they are also under lots of pressure nowadays to start changing their policies
& I do believe this is happening in some countries in some of these government departments around the
world.

But the change of the gender marker & your name on your drivers licence & other IDs you use on
a regular basis such as bank or credit cards is by far the most easiest & the most helpful to attain.

Where I live I didn't need a form to do that, however I did still need a Gender Identity Certificate or letter
signed by my clinical pyschologist to endorse my request for a change of my gender markers. I also had
to apply through deed poll for a change of name. Once I had my new birth certificate in my female name
then I was able to change my name & gender markers on my drivers licence, from there it was a snow
balling effect on changing all my other IDs. So after that it was onto the bank, the Medicare, & Centrelink
offices to change everything with those places while also using my new drivers licence as ID to also make
all these other changes - like you said, that was really stupid easy! LOL

In recent times I have had some disagreements with a few people, mostly a couple of TS girls in my local support
group who have been on hormones for quite some time. However I think they have also had lots of other issues to
deal with so my clinical pyschologist has delayed their GRS/SRS. And ironically this was one of the things we talked
about yesterday and the reason I am mentioning this now is because your RTE (real life experience) begins when
you do actually change your gender markers, your ID etc & not when you actually started presenting as a female.
And changing ID's is something that some transsexuals have trouble doing sometimes, but then they wonder why
they are so delayed in being approved for GRS/SRS.

Under the Harry Benjamin Standards of Care, you are basically required to have been in your new gender role & to be
well settled in your new gender for at least 1 year before they will sign a letter authorising GRS/SRS. However my local
gender clinic gives the impression to some transsexuals that they actually have a policy of making everyone wait 2 years
before they will write a letter recommending a person for GRS/SRS. So this was something I brought up again with my
pyschologist yesterday, while referring to what is in the SoC about this. What she told me was that some of the girls in
our group (no names mentioned of course) had issues that held them back because they didn't fulfil the all requirements
in the SoC and changing their names & their gender markers legally was one of the main reasons why they have made
these others wait so long before approving them for GRS/SRS. She said that if someone isn't willing to change their name
and fully adopt their new identity, then they are not ready for surgery.

But April I want to say something to you, I think your journey has been amazing to watch really, because you have
always had the conviction that you were going to transition which I think is fantastic, but the change in how you
are going about that and the change in your attitude from when you first came here just blows my mind girlfriend!
I see you as someone now that is dotting all their i's & crossing all your t's and doing things the right way now, so
keep going and you will get there sooner than you realise.

I changed all my ID back in September last year, so that is my RLE start date, but the biggest surprise came to
me yesterday when my pyschologist actually told me that she would have no hesitations in writing my letter out
for my GRS/SRS next month because I have done everything the right way to settle into my new gender role &
be comfortable in society. She even said to me that she only wished the others could work it all out like I have.

So the good news is it sounds like I have an open ticket to being able to get my
GRS/SRS any time from next month onwards - My God, this is all really happening! :eek:

[Ange]

Congrats! I hope everything continues to fall in place for you.

[Aprilrain]

Thanks Melody and it sounds like things are really going your way too!

Though I have had a lot of ups and downs and expect to have more I'm pretty happy with my life now and just knowing I'm LIVING instead of just existing or worse yet waiting to die! is worth the price of admission. I couldn't help but feel a sense of joy when I was standing at the end of my driveway with my baby and my ex talking to our neighbors and thinking how terrified I used to be that someone would find out my "dirty little secret!" If people care they keep it to themselves for the most part. Every time I have faced a fear head on the result is personal growth, when I hide the FEAR grows.

[Melody Moore]

Every time I have faced a fear head on the result is personal growth, when I hide the FEAR grows.

I really couldn't agree with you more about that hun, and the most amazing part about fear is that
while fear is real, most of it is unfounded & it is nothing more than demons we created for ourselves.

People in general will only fear things they don't know or understand, and in a lot of cases people are
actually in fear themselves, because they don't know themselves. And when you can start to be really
true to yourself, then you can start to get to know the real you & know yourself for who you really are.

The same can be said about the bigots in society, 99.9% of the time they only have an issue with us
because they fear transsexuals so they feel intimidated by us. But when we allow them the chance to
get to know us & understand us, then there is nothing else to fear. So then you will often see that the
acceptance & tolerance of transgendered people also changes very dramatically. I have seen this in action ;)

[Jennifer Marie P.]

Congrats on your name change and I know the feeling you are going to be very busy.

[danielleb]

Though I have had a lot of ups and downs and expect to have more I'm pretty happy with my life now and just knowing I'm LIVING instead of just existing or worse yet waiting to die! is worth the price of admission. I couldn't help but feel a sense of joy when I was standing at the end of my driveway with my baby and my ex talking to our neighbors and thinking how terrified I used to be that someone would find out my "dirty little secret!" If people care they keep it to themselves for the most part. Every time I have faced a fear head on the result is personal growth, when I hide the FEAR grows.

I wish I could just go around and shake everyone I know to magically accept this realization! :)

[Leanne2]

Pilot license--- what are your ratings. I'm a private SEL, 650 hrs, tailwheel also. Leanne

[Aprilrain]

Its done, YAY! I went to the SS office, BMV and both my banks right away. I'm a little worn out now actually! time for a nap.

[Melody Moore]

I bet that is a huge load off your shoulders now April - Well done!

[Jorja]

Every time I have faced a fear head on the result is personal growth, when I hide the FEAR grows.

Congratulations April, I know that is a load off your shoulders. When you or anyone here for that matter starts to feel that tense feeling starting to build inside, just remember your words in the above quote. You have your whole life ahead of you now, Go for it!

[MarieTS]

Happy 4 U April! I know how liberating it is. Enjoy!!!

[Melody Moore]

When you or anyone here for that matter starts to feel that tense feeling starting to build inside,
just remember your words in the above quote. You have your whole life ahead of you now, Go for it!
Jorga, I am soooo proud of April really, to the point I actually have
little tears welling in my eyes because I am soooo happy for her!

Finding the words to express how I really feel right now is very difficult, but I will try my best...

I remember when April first came out last year on this forum she had some issues that she was dealing with, mostly
her own attitude. But the determination to succeed was something that I really did admire about her spirit. but like
most of us here, she needed to settle down a bit & find the right path to take. I can see while April has taken some
matters into her own hands which I won't mention, but she has listened to the words of wisdom of others here & has
come such a long way since then.

Next weekend is officially my first birthday & I can't believe how much life has really changed for me for the better
and it's nice to see that April is not far behind me & well on her way to being the woman she is & set free, happy &
at peace with herself. I think April is a very good role model for others here to follow, so I hope she sticks around
for a bit after her journey is complete - because it's obvious already that others can learn so much from April. ;)

[Sharon]

Congratulations, April!:bh:

[Aprilrain]

WOW thanks everyone! you guys are so sweet, especially you Melody! I got some biggies out of the way today but still need to take care of some more so monday I 'll be back at it. I 'm actually looking forward to applying for jobs now instead of dreading it!

[Melody Moore]

April, you are most welcome! :hugs:

I know in the beginning when we first cross-paths we had a few moments, but we sorted those out real quickly
and since then your journey has been nothing short of amazing. You really have come a very long way now hun.

There are a few TS girls who seem to be afraid to let go of their former male identities - but this can only translate
into meaning they still have a lot of self doubt. So in taking this first step of affirming your true identity this speaks
volumes about who you really are. Many girls don't think about how much difference it can make to change your name
& gender markers when it comes to looking for a job. My employment agency told me not to even bring my transsexual
status up - as far as they were concerned or anyone else should be concerned I AM A FEMALE NOW, so END OF STORY! :)

The only thing I would like to suggest is how you can start
getting work experiences & references under your new identity.

This is why I decided to take the route of doing some volunteer work & which I don't believe is any sort of a waste of time.

What I found is that you are so giving of yourself like this, & demonstrating a good character, other people will really
respect you so much more. And with that other offers of paid employment will start coming in. I have so many people
now talking about me in my local community, but in a very positive way & it is also the very reason I am now back on
my feet & working for myself again - people have commented about how much of a good honest person I am. So this
is why I now believe that my honesty, hard work & perseverance is going to pay off & be worth it over the long haul.

Those that are really giving, always seem to get it all back in the end.
So I hope this is some good food for thought for your future - good luck with it all :hugs: