friend found out

[Samantha Thomson]

Hello all need your advise on how to deel w this had a female friend come over and forgot my bras were hanging on the door handle my make-up perfume and earrings on the ledge and my skirts and blouses on the bed please help as she asking are you gay bi questions

[Cynthia Anne]

If she is a friend tell her nothing but the truth! A friend likes hearing nothing but the truth! Hugs!

[docrobbysherry]

U haven't adequately described your relationship with your "friend", or your personal situation for me to intelligently comment, Sam. Others may feel the same!

Does she know your family and friends? Or, work with u? Will she "tell" on u? In other words, what kind of DAMAGE could she do if u leveled with her? How is it she walked in on Sam's things?

R u completely closeted? Or, do u go out dressed occasionally? Etc. etc.

[marny]

Just tell her. It wasn't an accident that you left everything out!

[Farrah Rose]

Agreed. Jsut be honest with her and let her know clothing etc. doesnt have anything to do with sexual orientation

[Suzy Parker]

Only advice I can think of is to just be open and honest with her. She will appreciate that no matter how she feels about it.

[Miranda09]

Hi Samantha. Basically, it's none of her business, BUT, if she is a good friend, and you trust her, just tell her. :)

[Stacy L]

.





There are 4 ways to answer those questions. :)

01. No - No
02. Yes - Yes
03. No - Yes
04. Yes - No


You could try to convince her that you weren't home and didn't see her that night and she must have dreamed that she was there and saw the items.

Seriously, if she is a good friend and you trust her, tell her the truth.





.

[Noortje]

What tone does she use when she asks the gay/bi questions? Is she all indignant and repulsed? Then make up an excuse (say the stuff was left by your hot new girlfriend). If she is friendly and just interested, you can try telling her... Keep in mind, though, that even people who are cool with homosexuality may still have a problem with crossdressing and transgenderism. I guess that you know your friend best, so only you can predict what her reaction might be.

Good luck!

[Vickie_CDTV]

If she has a lot of questions, you might want to give her some 'safe', accurate information on heterosexual transvestism as one would give their SO. Point her to Tri-Ess's web site, maybe give her a copy of "Coping With Crossdressing" or "My Husband Wears My Clothes" if you have access to them etc.

[Loni]

not knowing you or your friend. hard to say what you should say and or do.

but the truth has always worked for me.

Loni

[Melody Moore]

she asking are you gay bi questions
For a start having female clothes hanging around does not make you 'gay or bi', so that is one
stereotyped assumption she has got wrong & that you need to clear up with her for a start!

The clothing could belong to another female, your sister, mother or aunt even, so she
should not be jumping to conclusions just yet, especially about your sexual orientations.

Our sexual orientation are NOT binary to gender identities - see this video:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXI9w0PbBXY

But I think you need to start being straight up & honest with people if
this is the lifestyle you live then you can't ever get caught out like this.

Tell her you are transgendered and that you are exploring your gender identity and that you are
not sure if you are a transsexual women who likes other women, making you a lesbian, or even if
you are a heterosexual male cross-dresser who likes women because you a have a bit of a fetish.

Like others have said here, you have given us no background on yourself or your relationship to this
woman, so it is impossible to know what to suggest until well have a better understanding on you,
your gender status & how this might impact on your relationship. So give us a bit more info please.

PS: The best advice I can give you right now is find a clinical pyschologist so you
can understand who you really are, so you can find the best ways to deal with this.

[AmyGaleRT]

The "Are you gay/bi?" question is one of the FAQs of the crossdresser's world. (I know, because I've been writing some things down in preparation for eventually telling my fiancee, and basically just came up with a big Q&A section.) As to how you can answer that...well, you can tell her that you personally are not gay or bi (assuming that's the case...if you are, well, you can respond that way too), and you can also add that, among crossdressers as a whole, homosexuality and bisexuality are about as prevalent as they are among the general population...or, in other words, most CDs are heterosexual.

The other FAQ is, of course, "Do you want to become a woman?" Again, only you can answer this for yourself, but you can also say that only a relatively small portion of CDs are transsexuals, who feel that they are actually in a body of the wrong physical gender.

[erickka]

If your relationship is solid and trustworthy, tell her the truth ASAP. Honesty goes a very long way in a relationship, and is a major foundation block for a healthy one. You never know, you just may end up with a fantastic personal fashion consultant!

[DAVIDA]

Well, if she is going into your bedroom, she must be a close friend.:thumbsup:
Our close friends don't go into our bedroom.

[kimdl93]

Not knowing anything about this friend or the context of her visit, I assume there was an awkward moment when she discovered your things lying about. So, you didn't really answer her question at the time? Did you offer some explanation at all? That probably left her to reach her own conclusions.

As several others have already noted - CDing and sexual orientation are not the same thing...its just a common stereotype. If I were you, I'd just be honest about it. And if she asked about your orientation, then maybe you should just tell here. (regardless of whether she's "trustworthy" she's already filling in the blanks anyway).

I'd also suggest that you go to the "how to tell a partner" discussion in this forum for some prep on the kinds of questions she's likely to have(like the gay/bi question) .

[christinamonae]

it happens i had an ex discover my pics on my computer she was totally shocked it was me

[Shelly Preston]

It's difficult to judge but I would assume she is asking the gay bi questions for a reason.

She has already decided the things are yours. Like most who have little knowledge of our community she has assumed you must be gay or Bi. If you say you are straight then it may raise more questions, especially if she has any interest in you. She may have to re think who the clothes belong too. You could also tell her clothes have nothing to do with sexuallity which could be the start of a long conversation.

Only you can decide on the best way to answer depending on how well you know her.

Good Luck

[kendra_gurl]

Let's see here..You are at home she comes over and sees everything and starts asking you questions.

So what did you say? How did YOU explain it

asking for advice now seem pointless without more information from you about what you have already told her.

[BRANDYJ]

Like others have said, there is not enough information about you or her to make a suggestion on how to go about handling it. How old are you/her. is this a casual friend or a potential love interest? How close are you as friends?
Other then that, you already got some great advice....Tell the truth.

[rachaelsloane]

Gotta agree with Miranda, tell her the truth about your CD'ing. She has already seen enough to know, but in reality does not understand.

[Jorja]

Well, you could tell her this crazy girl ran into you bedroom and pulled off all of her cloths then ran out into the streets yelling I'm free!!!

Just tell her the truth. I am a crossdresser and I am/am not gay. Then be prepared to answer the rest of her questions.

[Amanda Styles]

Tell her, if she does not accept you she must not be the friend you thought her to be.

[pattyv]

I'm assuming, from your post, that when I walk through your front door your bras(plural) are hanging on the door handle? Is this the front door handle? Your make-up, perfume,and earrings are on the ledge of what? Your skirts and blouses are on the bed which I'm assuming is right inside the front door. So where are your panties, slips, pantyhose, camis, wigs, heels etc? Do you live in one room? Not trying to probe into your living quarters. I just need some more details before I can offer any advice. Not trying to question the veracity of the events.

[Samantha Thomson]

thankyou all for your oppions and what i should do on friday eveing i sat her down and told her the truth that im a crossdresser and im bi she wasnt realy shocked told me i could of told her that long time ago know she wants to take me girl shopping and help me pick out clothes but thanks all for your oppions samantha

[kristinacd55]

Ta da! There ya go.....when you first posted it was NEI (Not Enough Information), but looks like now it's TOG (Turned out GREAT!) :)

[Joanna41]

Well I was glad to.read your last post...doesn't mean she won't still have questions for you. However they will be easier to answer now that she knows. I was going to suggest that you invite her for lunch the next day and share with her that you want to feel all the sensations of how different clothes feel and go from there. I mean who wouldn't want to experience those...the stores are 90% woman's clothes and 10% everything else. Women just have way more choice of colors and style...I love it!

Joanna

[Samantha Thomson]

hello yes im sure she will have questions still but at least i have some one to help me pick out womens clothes w make-up etc but again thanks for your input i guess im a women know lol samantha

[Alice B]

A friend is a friend and if she is truly that she will say nothing, other than to support you. If she takes a negative track, she is not truly a friend.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Samantha, This is the best thing coming out to her.

Orchid