PDA

View Full Version : How to ease into showing a GG?



jessbcuzz
10-10-2005, 04:51 PM
Hello, girls!
I haven't been on here for a month or so because I have meet the most wonderful GG in the world. If one could go to the local store and build the person of you dreams, Ellen (not her real name), is the one I have been looking for my whole life. I had gotten to the point in my life that I never would have belived that a soul mate is out there for me. She has proved me wrong. To give a better idea, it is like being with a clone of me. I know that I will never find somone so special as her ever again. I sometimes wonder what I did to deserve her. I've had more downs than ups in previous relationships. If I had to go through it again to end up meeting Ellen, I would do it in a blink of an eye.
The only thing that I have an issue with about us is me as Mileena. It doesn't have anything to do with Ellen. She knows, and I have been totally open (even though it is hard at times) about it and let her know about Mileena from the start. She didn't go into shock, or ask 200 questions. She told me that Mileena is a part of me and she would never ask me to choose. She has said numerous of times that it doesn't matter what clothes I wear, it's what is in the heart that matters to her. She has been in some really bad relationships in the past, but I am the first that understand her thoughts and feelings. She attributes that to the female side of me. She also said it's been great to having a shopping partner. Now if only I can tell the lady at Victoria Seceret's the next time we go there that we are looking for something for the both of us that matches!
I really see this going somewhere between Ellen and me. However, throwing Mileena into the mix, it's down right scary and confusing. I will admit, that I haven't dressed all that often since we have been together for the past month. The desire and need hasn't been as strong as it usually is. I know that it will return. I have told Ellen of this, and she told me to relax and don't worry about it. I do worry about it because the past is always in my head about relationships that have gone sour because of Mileena. No matter how hard I try, and how much Ellen is supportive (when I opened up to her, she took the time to look up things about crossdressing), I am still very guarded, even though it's more than it should be. I still feel like I am hiding Mileena from her. I have worn panties around her, and even been in the same room when I am getting dressed or undressed, but it's always around the corner so that she won't see. It is more than what I have been able to do in the past, but as I said, it still feels like I am hiding from her.
We have talked about this before and she always tells me to relax and it's not a big deal. Today, I took it a step further and asked her if she would ever go out with me as Mileena, and she said yes. We don't get to see each other very much between her work and school and my work schedule, and so when I asked her what do we do if she gets an unexpected day off, she wants to come visit, and Mileena is here; she told me it's not an issue. I asked her what she would do if I wanted to sleep in a night shirt or something along that line, she told me it won't bother her and to relax and quit making a big deal about this. She loves me for who I am. That I know she does, and I don't doubt it.
The next question I asked was what about sharing clothes? That was a hard one to ask because I have always had my own and didn't feel it was right to wear anyone else's. She told me she didn't or wouldn't have a problem. She said that if I had soemthing she wants to wear, she'd be able to do it without a problem, wheather it be one of my Cleveland Browns t-shirts or my Victoria Seceret's night shirts. To take it one step further, I asked her what if she left something her either on purpose or accident. Would she fear that it would end up on me? She said no and that I didn't need to ask if I could (I always ask for her permission for things out of respect to her). What she added to that almost made me cry. She told me that it would be no different if I left something at her place. She said being able to share each other's clothing is a very intense thing. The reason being that when we put on each other's clothes, it brings us closer to each other's heart knowing that I was in her clothes that she now has on and vice a versa. I belive what she said was true because, well, she left her favorite PJ's here the other day. I asked her if she would, but not for the reason of me wanting to wear them. It was to make it feel like she was here. After her comment about sharing clothes being an intese thing, she was once again reading my mind (we do that to each other very often), and she told me that I could wear her PJ's. I didn't jump at the offer, and actaully thought it out carefully. I even asked her if she really ment it and if she really was comfortable about it. She said it was. I was still hesitent, but after what all we had talked about, I felt that it would almost be an insult to her if I didn't. And so, at the end of our phone conversation, I was wearing her PJ's. Know what? She was right, I felt as close to her as anyone could, even though she's 30 miles away. I also hadn't had that good of a night's sleep in a long time.
I am sorry this thread has become so long. I wanted to give as much background information as possible so that I can get the best advice possible for what I am going to ask from you girls. The question is, how can I ease myself into showing Ellen? Should I go all out, or ease into it like the next time she comes over, like have my own PJ's on? I don't do the wig or makeup thing for bed. Also, there are times, that I may just dress in casual clothes, but don't do breast forms or the other things either. I really want to let the rest of my guard down to her, and this is the last thing standing in the way. Is there an appropriate way to ease us into this? Thank you girls!

Sophia Rearen
10-10-2005, 05:01 PM
My God girl, do as she said and relax. You've fell into a cd'ers pot of gold and your worried about it? How about being yourself and dressing how you want. I'm going to go out on a limb here, but, I bet she'll be ok with whatever you choose.

Julie York
10-10-2005, 05:02 PM
Yeah I have some advice.
Stop being a neurotic pillock!

You've found someone who most people dream of and you are nagging her to death with Is it Ok is this right is that right?

She's SAID it is all right!!

So tell her you are nervous. TELL her you are not sure how best to handle it. TELL her it is her call, she gets the say so as to what and when so as to not freak her out.

THEN take a bloody tablet or something!

Sheesh!

Sorry. Didn't mean to be impolite. But you should read your post from this end. You need to take a step back and go WOW and stop whining!!

Good luck to you.
:thumbsup:

Sandra H
10-10-2005, 05:35 PM
Hi Mileena.

I am so pleased for you, finding a soul mate is the very best that can ever happen in a relationship. I know because I was very lucky to have a soul mate for over 26 years until she died in April 2004. Like you my wife knew about Sandra and not only understood, but helped buy cloths and make-up. We also shared cloths everything with the exception of shoes as my wife took size 3 UK and I take size 6UK. Now after her death I have found that wearing her cloths makes me feel better and a lot nearer to her. I have not thrown any of her things out as it was too painful, but by wearing her things as they become ready to throw out they have become more mine than hers and it is easy to get rid of them.

Sorry for going on so long but reading your post reminded me so much about my early times with my wife. I understand your concerns about dressing in front of Ellen; I think it is a mix of two things. When we meet a new girl we feel a little shy about undressing in front of them even when in full DRAB, add this to your worry about being upset again makes your concern understandable.

What I would suggest is to take things slowly, you say you have been in the corner of the room when in panties, well the next time you are together and having some fun as you get undressed when you get down to your panties just walk out of the corner and go to her in bed. Because she is ready for you anyway it will be less of a shock to her and she will have seen you in panties. Then after just walk around the room in just panties for a little while. Very soon it will be just part of your life together and gradually add a little more like when getting dressed put on your panties in front of her followed by pantyhose then your DRAB. When you get something new show her by holding it in front of yourself, then ask her to put it on so you can see how it looks worn. Then say let me see how it looks on me and put it on in front of her.

I would say don’t wear anything too long so after a twirl start to take it off, she may ask you to keep it on if she does then great. Women like complements so you can say it makes you feel great when you wear something she has worn because it reminds you of how much you love her. Very soon as your relationship both of you will develop and fee more free around each other in everyway including your dressing. If she is your soul mate then you will grow to be almost one person. I do hope so because I think everyone deserves to meet his or her soul mate. Keep us informed of any progress and I hope you have found my 10c worth of some help.

Take care.

Phoebe Reece
10-10-2005, 06:10 PM
Mileena, it's so nice to hear about a relationship that is going the right way from the start. Advice: Stop asking her if everything related to crossdressing is OK. She said it is alright. If you keep pestering her, she may just say it's not alright just to get you to quit asking. This girl obviously loves you. It doesn't sound like she needs to be "eased" into anything. I understand your feeling the stakes are high, but just relax and let her see the full Mileena, makeup and all. Worrying about it is just going to eat you up and make you difficult to be around.

DonnaT
10-10-2005, 11:34 PM
First Mileena, don't listen to those others, they're only being truthful. :D

In answer to your question, first, thank her for being so understanding, and tell her you'll try to relax more and quit asking her so many questions. With the exception of one more.

She'll probably ask what's that?

Then ask her if she'd help you with your makeup. If she helps, then thank her and comment on how you've never been able to look this good. Then, in a wondering sort of way, wonder out loud at how you would look fully dressed. If she says let's find out, then you've found a way to ease into showing her Mileena.

Now, a lot of GGs like there gurls to be independent, so you don't want to keep asking for help, especially if you don't need it. And always try to take small steps until you see how she feels with each step taken. Who knows, she may push you faster than you're ready for :D

Lauren_T
10-10-2005, 11:50 PM
If you'll forgive a bit of 'armchair analysis,' it seems, from both your words and your behaviour, that you have become conditioned to expect rejection. I myself have been there, done that, have the t-shirt to prove it, & cetera. The lesson I have learned is this; you need to, as has been suggested, stop doubting your good fortune and start enjoying it! I too have been in a situation where, after painful failures, I finally had what I'd dreamed of - and I blew it, because of being unable to bring myself to believe and accept that it was really happening!

Life is too short to spend doubting. Accept, appreciate and enjoy.:thumbsup: :D

Rachel Morley
10-10-2005, 11:52 PM
Sorry. Didn't mean to be impolite. But you should read your post from this end. You need to take a step back and go WOW and stop whining!!

Sometimes, it's difficult to accept the truth. Sometimes it seems too good to be true. Sometimes you just can't believe your luck.

I hear what you're saying and I agree with you, but I do sympathize with Mileena, especially if you are carrying baggage about being hurt in past relationships (like I was).

Mileena, all I would say is trust in love and believe that your heart will find the way. If it's meant to be it'll happen.

HaleyPink2000
10-11-2005, 12:47 AM
Well from what you told me, this is what I'd do if I was you.

I'd invite her over for a weekend away at a nice Inn that would have Cabins.
Then I'd tell Her also that I was going to bring my femme clothes with us.
Then I would ask Her if it would bother Her if I spent the weekend en femme clothing.
She will either want to go with you or She will refuse. If She does refuse, She does not want to be part of your life. Because being a couple is supposed to be fun, sexy, playful, serious, joyful, sharing, the list is endless. So have fun with Her, spend quality time away from town together, and have a nice weekend. Like I said Get a Cabin with a kitchen and take some food with you. Play house for the weekend away. Just a place for You and Her. Some place that if you want to go out side and yell you can. But find a place that She won’t have to bother with a lot of the work either. This needs to be a nice time for Her also.

Anyway I wish you both the best!
Haley:)

Julie York
10-11-2005, 04:23 AM
Sometimes, it's difficult to accept the truth. Sometimes it seems too good to be true. Sometimes you just can't believe your luck..

I know I know. .....I'm a horrible person.


I'm just a cantankerous old fart.:D

However...my excellent advice still stands. :rolleyes:

kathy gg
10-11-2005, 09:31 AM
First off :hugs: and congrats on meeting this very cool lady. Actually all of your conversations so far sound like the first year me and my husband were dating and then engaged and married. And I looked to date a crossdresser. Everything was this polite question about wearing some particular item, or how I felt about sharing stuff, or how I felt about him wearing panties under male clothes , and on and on and on. Every minute detail that you can imgine was brought up on his part. I think the first time he did anything he would ask if that was okay. Kept saying how he did not want to overdoes me on all this. It was very very sweet, but after a while it was like "enough already!". the only thing I would freak out over is if you cheated on me or if you wanted a sex change. Everything else, not a biggie, no problem.

I can't say what advice is best, because really I look back now and think how kind and sweet and what a loving jesture it was that Amanda wanted my input and thoughts on all these little things that to me seemed like nothing big. But to him they were HUGE! I was the first girlfriend who he had been able to share all of himself with and I guess he did not want to make any slips, just like you. I wish I could tell you to chill out a little and relax, but I doubt it would do any good. :p You are feeling that first burst of love and euphoria and excitement and all those good feelings that happen when you meet someone who blows you away.

Just take it easy, let her lead a little too in this. Make some suggestions but be give her a chance to throw in her input as well. Who knows she might actualy get a kick out of all this and it already sounds like she is enjoying some of the more simple things, like sharing pjs and stuff.

I am really happy that you met her and your carefulness is to be commended, just try to relax. Sometimes the girl that is too good to be true is really true.
Hugs
kathy in canada

Ellisia_Lynch
10-11-2005, 01:44 PM
i have a similar problem. My wife has become used to my dressing and we are able to discuss it and she is OK with seeing me in a dress, lingerie and make up.

However, I think to her it is acceptable in a 'Rocky Horror' almost sexy kind of way. The acts of pulling on a wig, shaving legs, creating cleavage, tucking etc seem to take it to a different level, which I am afraid will completely unravel the (years of) good work. Will she ever look at me the same again if she can't see the man underneath it all, or the she can see the man and thinks he looks foolish and can't get the image out of her head?

One thing I can advise from personal experience is don't just turn up looking like a glamour puss - it's hard but you do need to talk about it first because the shock is always going to make things worse.

I hope I didn't add to your anxieties Mileena!!

Ellisia