Wife mad at me

[aries]

Ok so my wife is been knowing about me, I've wear panties and pantyhose, stuff like that, and finally the last couple weeks i guess i opened up, and stopped fighing my self about what i like, or what i want to be, I told her i wanted to be smoth so she helped me and wax me, we talked about buying epilator, so i said so that means that u want me smooth she said whatever you like and im ok with it, so today I'm on the forum and i made couple comments on a story, and to new member, she was plucking some hairs from my legs, , SO i have the lap top and on my lap and she says i see typing what are u doing, i was like nothing, i did it again, so i finally say when she now mad at me, that i was saying to somebody in the forum how beautiful they were and that i was in loved with those high hills. To be honest it's still hard for me to say that outlound and specailly to my wife, and she got mad at me, she said i thought we were past that, I know i'm suppose to open up to her, but its still hard for me to do it, it's like all my life i been denying it building wall after wall, and like she expects me to just take them all down in minute. I told her that it would take time that I'm taking one wall at the time, that i was really greatful for what she does for me and sticking with me for everything that she has done and put up with, but just to give me time. but she still up set, please let me know what u thing

[Eryn]

Hi Aries,

I think that your first reaction should be to put the laptop aside and talk to her about whatever she wishes to discuss! Saying "nothing" when you obviously had something important enough to type was building a new barrier, not breaking one down. You break down those barriers by discussion, and I've found that discussing the postings on the forum is an excellent way to approach the issues that are difficult to discuss.

Yes, it can be tough to break down those barriers, but your wife has said that she is invested in helping you to do so. Cooperating with her will make both of you happier.

Is your wife a member? If not, it would be a good idea for her to join. We'd love to have her join our discussions.

[ReineD]

I can't possibly add more to Eryn's post. :)

Except, I know how it feels to do the right thing (in your case, by sharing things with your wife that you still feel uncomfortable sharing), and at the same time feel uncomfortable or maybe even frightened of opening up like this. Just please know that the more up front you are with your wife, the easier it will get, and before you know it, you'll wonder why you ever felt uncomfortable.

:hugs:

[Joanna41]

Arise...I agree with Eyrn also. Telling your wife that you werent doing anything when you obviously were makes her feel like your hiding things from her. Not a good way to make her happy and to keep her supportive of you. You should read some stories to her and share that together...ask her to join the forum so she can see she isn't alone either. My fiance and I have a great time together because we don't hide anything from each other. Pay more attention to her. You will see the attention you give her will go a long ways!

Joanna

[Melody Moore]

I too have to agree with everyone else, put down the laptop and start making your wife feel that
she is more important. Also it is vital that you make her feel inclusive in all aspects of your life &
don't ever make her feel excluded - so being 100% open, straight up & honest it her is vital here.

As others have suggested, have her join this forum, and never be shy about letting her know what
you are talking about. But don't let it become the only way you know about each other & talk to
each other. I am not saying you do communicate like this, but I think it is sad that people today
can only communicate in a text message, chat or forum - Don't laugh because it does happen!

So I wonder what is happening with the good old art of conversation & talking face to face with
each other? I just hope that you are not one of these people because you need to be talking to
your wife or this type of thing will put unnecessary strain on your relationship which could be the
catalyst for disaster if you are not careful here. Good luck & I hope you sort this out.

[Inna]

Hi Aries, as the girls had said above, truth and openness is the only way to keep both of you on the path of love. Just reading your own description of your wife, tells me that she is an exceptional woman and truly embracing you as you are, face it babe, return as much to her!

It is extremely hard for a woman to accept that her husband, a male whom she has chosen to be together with, whom she found to be a protector, turned out to be feminine and wants to explore womanhood and become if only for a moment a female. Put your self in her shoes, if she came out to you and announced that she her self would like to grow body hair, shave off her locks, buy a prosthesis penis and go out with you to experience being a boy because she just may like that side of her much more............................what would your reaction be?

She is a phenomenal being, allowing you to be who you are despite such an intriguing proposition. Give her as much support as you possibly can but stay your self just the same, Love, Inna.

[BRANDYJ]

I agree with what's been said by others. The worst respnse you could have given her was to say you were doing nothing. That clearly sounds like you are either hiding something or that you don't want her involves. P{lease ask her to join here. I think it will help her tremenously. You are among the lucky CD's that has at least your wife's acceptance to any degree. Don't blow it by being secret anymore. Show her, tell her how very much she is appreciated and loved. Tell her you will try to discuss everything and anything with her. I wish you luck.

[DebbieL]

It sounds like your wife is very accepting and understanding. It may even be that she can really enjoy your cross-dressing. You might want to share what it was like growing up as a boy, how "sissies" were harassed, and even physically attacked. Share some of the things that have happened to you personally when you were very young. Let her know that there is still a very real fear of loss, pain, and security. It's not that you don't love her, or that you don't want to be honest with her, but you do have to overcome 20-30 years of very deep conditioning. You might also let her know how few people you have shared your secret with on a face-to-face basis. It's much easier to share with people via bbs boards, where your anonymity is protected to some degree.

[Kittyagain]

How would feel if the roles were reversed. Give her a big hug.

Kitty

[kimdl93]

As so many others have already said, its really important for you to open up. Your wife is trying admirably to help and support you. You need to do your part by overcoming the ingrained habit of hiding and withholding. Learning to be self-aware, open and communicative about your feelings (and your crossdressing) are key feminine traits that you need to practice every day. You can overcome your shyness if you work at it every day!

[Holly]

I can't add anymore to what has been said... okay maybe one thing :). If you are still uncomfortable sharing some things with your wife then tell her that. But YOU need to take ownership of those feelings so SHE doesn't start feeling betrayed. She has taken the initiative to meet you much more than half way. You need to put forth at least as much effort.

[aries]

thanks everybody great advise, we talked and i apologize and i told that I'm gonna open up more, and that what i did was wrong, she is ok now, i told her about joining the forum, she said she would, so that makes me happy. Again thanks,

[Eryn]

thanks everybody great advise, we talked and i apologize and i told that I'm gonna open up more, and that what i did was wrong, she is ok now, i told her about joining the forum, she said she would, so that makes me happy. Again thanks,

Sounds like a great resolution! We're looking forward to seeing your wife here!

[Kathy4ever]

You are one of the lucky ones. For most of us our wives show a dissaproving look. I hope you get over insecuritities and take advantage of a loving supporting wife. Hope to see your wife on here too!!1

[Roxann]

I agree with all the others, my wife and my self have had the same problem been working it very hard the last couple weeks, trusting each other, going slow, talking a lot, telling her everything, and been reading (My Husband Wears My Clothes) By Peggy J. Rudd its been very helpful