Progression

[JCD568]

Gradually, over a long period of time, my crossdressing has evolved from a kind of transvestic fetishist thing to something deeper than that. I started wearing my Mums silky petticoats when I was about 13 out of curiosity, and became addicted to women's clothes ever since. For a long time, I dressed only in secret and from time to time, whenever I had the chance to dress alone, but after many years, I started to dress more and more frequently, feeling more comfortable and much better in women's clothes than men's clothes. It just feels so right and now I think that this is truly who I want to be. A woman. (A woman who is attracted to other women, I must add). I should feel no shame in what I'm doing. Being myself makes me happy, and as long as I'm happy and not hurting anyone, I haven't got a problem with what I'm doing. Other people's negative opinions and what they say to one another, however, is what has put a blocker on my coming out to my friends, as well as other people. To me, it feels natural to me to act feminine, with a woman's mannerisms, characteristics etc. I'm seriously thinking of coming out to my housemate, (one of the nicest women, who I've ever known, btw). and it'd be nice to meet with and hang around some like minded people on this site. People who I can truly be myself around, without fear of attack or judgement. Anyway, sorry to bore you, but I just needed to talk to some like minded people.

All the best!

Joanne x

[kimdl93]

Joanne,

You're certainly among friends here. I would guess that your experience mirrors the lives and progressions of a number of us, and the obstacles you mention are certainly familiar. Without knowing a lot of details about your life, I can't offer much in the way of advice, except to spend some time thinking about how dressing fits into your life and how you might want to address the issues about coming out. Nothing like taking the time to review and clarify your thoughts.

If you truly believe that you need to be a woman - perhaps in appearnce, but not undergo hormone therapy or surgery, you're still contemplating a fairly major life transition. In that case, I'd advise getting in touch with a competent therapist - one who is familiar with gender issues and can help you dig deeply enough to determine whether this is really for you.

Good luck!

[JCD568]

Thank you Kimdl93. :) It's feels great to be among like minded people. :) I've thought a lot about my dressing and how it fits into my life and, to cut the long story short, after a long period of dressing frequently and not dressing at all, I've come to the conclusion that dressing permanently, as a woman, is what would make me truly happy and fulfilled. :) I think going to a therapist would benefit me greatly. He, or she, would dig deeply into who I am and come up with the best solution for my situation. Also, you are correct in saying that, despite my wanting to dress permanently, I still have no desire to make the full transition using surgery, but I have considered using hormones, on and off for over a year.

Thank you for your reply! :)

[kimdl93]

Joanne, I think there are a couple things here that bear further discussion. In therapy, you'll be doing the digging with the help of your therapist. Its hard work. And they won't come up with a solution for you. That's something you'll try to sort out, with their help, of course.

Now if that leads to dressing full time, whether it entails hormones or not, its still a major "transition" from the lifestyle you have been leading. Definately get to a properly qualified therapist ASAP.

[Diana Bain]

Hi Joanne,

You've come to the right place...there are a lot of us here that have that have felt the same way you do...it is complicated. I've dressed for over forty years and may'be it did start out as a fetish, but it has evolved over time into so much more. It's a wonderful feeling to dress as a women. With regards to your "housemate"...take your time...go slowly...don't overwelm her. I have a wonderful SO...but it took her time to understand...a lot of questions asked and answered. She is a wonderful wife, friend and lover(woman to woman.) Life is to short not to be happy with who you are. Take care, Diana

[JCD568]

I'm sure I'll come up with a solution with the help of a therapist. I know that if I choose to live the lifestyle, that I've wanted for so long, it'll result in the most major transition in my life. My change will affect my entire family and my friends. That'll be a huge impact on my life and I'm not sure if I'll be able to cope with their reactions. :( I really hope that the people, most dear to me will be understanding and accepting of my new lifestyle, should I choose to live it. I'm seriously torn between being the man I am, the one who people around me know and accept. There's a factor, which pushes me into staying the way I am, and torn between being the person who I truly am, the woman, inside.

I'll be on the lookout for the help that I need, straight away. It feels ok living the way I do at the moment, as a man, seriously. But, it feels soooo much better, so more natural to live full time as a woman.