AM I running out of time

[Cassandra90]

I'm just curious. Over the past few years, I've struggled between religious feelings and the desire to cross dress. I'm going through a struggle to find work. I feel like I just can't win and ask myself if this is a waste f time. Yet, I feel the desire to crossdress growing. I don't know that many people here in Salt Lake City in the transgender community. I'm even been worried about ending up homeless. I'm divorced and feel like my life is falling apart. I don't know what to do with the desire just growing. I just want to be able to meet some of you that are here in Salt Lake City, I just needed a place to vent. Thanks y'all.

[AllieSF]

There are several ladies here from the Salt Lake City area. I can understand your situation and can only recommend one course of action as your priority, find a job. Life and your attitude toward it will change for the better once you have a steady income and that burden of burdens is lifted off of your shoulders. After that, enjoy the dressing. Just remember that God made you to His image and likeness, so that has to be a great thing and a clear indication that he loves us and loves the diversity of the worlds that He created. Good luck.

[eluuzion]

No, you are not running out of time. I am pretty sure the new date for the "Rapture" is Oct 21st. But you might want to hold off on buying your Halloween costume early this year, lol.

Struggling is just part of life. I prefer the term "exploring". You cannot change what happens to you, but you can choose how you react to it. (forget who said that, but it was a wise person).

Life is not a competition, although it does seem to have a large population of "losers"...hehehe.''
If you think in terms of win/lose you will not find much happiness in life. Perception and Attitude is everything. Dwelling on negative past experiences is like trying to back out of a car wreck. It is impossible...it only prolongs the agony. The time is better spent looking forward to what you can do NEXT, that will improve your current status.

There are always several options for any decision you make. When you get lost in catastrophic thinking, one option is just to list all of the options you have for your next action. Then just pick the best one and move forward. Any move is better than standing still.

You managed to get this far in life and survive, right? Believing in yourself and your abilities is very important. Doubt what you will, but never doubt yourself. None us can predict the future and nobody has life figured out. But I do believe that you always move in the direction of what you choose to keep in your mind.

Separate that big ball of confusion into smaller pieces. Then attack one issue at a time. Pick something small that you know you can accomplish with minimal effort and do it first. It rebuilds your confidence quickly. Most of the "issues" you posted are shared by most of the people on this forum. We all find a way. It may be ugly, but we all find a way. You will too.

Having a plan is important. Sometimes the plan for tomorrow is to simply put one foot in front of the other. It is not a great plan, but it is A Plan, which is better than NO plan at all. Sounds silly, but I have been there...

You are taking a positive step by reaching out. This is when friends and family can be a life raft. Not from a financial support perspective...but a support role...call them. They will be a great resource to help you generate options.

You are always stronger than you think you are.

There is really only one way to "fail", and that is to "give up". Read my little sign...

Good luck

"MoM"

[Cynthia Anne]

From my own experiance I know what you are going through! I say it is time for thearphy! On this subject you won't find better theraphy than what ELUUZION SAID ABOVE! Read it over and over 'til it sinks in!
On a lighter side! Perhaps she's practiceing w/o a license! Hugs!!:eek::)

[darla_g]

Are you suggesting that there is biblical prohibition with crossdressing? that bible quote i would like to see

[Karren H]

We all started running out of time the day we were born... Still..... religion and crossdressing are not mutually exclusive.... Imho..... Though being a devout heathen make life so much simpler.... At least in my mind.

[kimdl93]

I would concur with those who advise that you focus on finding some sort of gainful employment, either in SLC or elsewhere. Gainful employment will provide you with a stable base. From that base, you can begin to address the other challenges you face in your life.

As for the conflict between your religious feelings and desire to cross dress, I first must disclose that I am a non-believer. That being said, I understand that many people can find comfort in their religious beliefs. But some religions may conflict with your own experience and personal values. If you follow a religion that rejects a fundemental part of you, then you may need to start looking for one that can accept you as you are.

[Emily Ann Brown]

I agree about putting finding a job first on the " DO list " ..unless you were planning to dance in a strip joint. HAHAHAHAHA.


Em

[docrobbysherry]

U r fiting with yourself, Cassandra! That's NEVER a good situation. However, MANY OF US HERE continue to feel that dressing is somehow "wrong", or, "unnatural"! Altho the guilt has lessened for ME over my years here, it's always still there in the background!

I suggest u give in to your desires to dress when u most feel the need. Then, deal with your guilt. Remember, you're NOT doing anything that hurts ANYONE ELSE!

If u feel the need to talk with someone and can't find someone in Salt Lake, there r 1000's of sympathetic and understanding girls HERE u can chat with!

[Annaliese]

Cassandra, I live in Cedar City I will be in Salt Lake in October we could sit down and have a good talk. I am hope to go out one night you are welcome to come along if you would like.

[sissystephanie]

I am a devout Catholic, and also a pretty devout crossdresser!! I have been told by several Priests and an Archbishop that God doesn't care what you wear as long as you are decent!! The posts on this thread contain some very valuble information which you should read and heed!! Your time is not running out!!

[Gillian Gigs]

God is more interested in your attitudes and motives for doing things, than your clothing habits. Jesus critisized the Pharisees for washing the outside of the cup and not cleaning the inside. Does it matter if the cup has a flower on the outside, or a sports logo. You drink for what is on the inside of the cup, not what is on the outside!

[Kim_Bitzflick]

I am also a catholic. I discussed this with my parish priest. He said pretty much the same thing as Stephanie. In the last few years, I have been putting my trust in God (Like when I was laid off from work) and he/she has always taken care of me.

PUT YOUR TRUST IN GOD.



I am a devout Catholic, and also a pretty devout crossdresser!! I have been told by several Priests and an Archbishop that God doesn't care what you wear as long as you are decent!! The posts on this thread contain some very valuble information which you should read and heed!! Your time is not running out!!

[Cassandra90]

Thanks for the support. I should have called this post, " I need help." I've just been going through a really hard time trying to better understand the feelings that I have inside while going through an employment crisis. The desire to crossdress and understand my feminine side and also my religious feelings. I wish this feeling would go away, but they just stay there. The battle also comes from why should I have to feel shameful for this. I get tired of these shameful feelings. I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs. I really wish that I could find someone out here that I could go to for counseling (If anyone out here has any suggestions, it would be appreciated). The other thing is that although I'm religious, I do have a goth side that likes to listen to Marilyn Manson, Cradle of Filth, etc. Thanks for the replies, everyone.

[jillcutie]

I actually know of a minister that is trans, so I don't think there to be any issues between dressing and religion.

[Bootsiegalore]

You should contact local TG organizations.... The ones here in Phoenix have houses of members and take in people with needs.

[michelle2020cd]

church and crossdressing, check out my good friend , Candychurch on flickr,

[MsGreen]

I suggest being mindful about your thinking. Some reminders:
(1) Life is complicated, don't package crossdressing as one moral marble that falls under good or evil.
(2) Stay true to your conscience. No need to rush into or out of crossdressing.
(3) If you are suffering, stressed, or raging, step outside of yourself and ask, 'what is the deep issue here?' usually it isn't crossdressing. Gather your strengths and hold the line. And, yes, sometimes strength is a simple dress.
(4) Remember mercy -- this community will extend it to you willingly. Purportedly, your religion does, too -- important to see if you really rely on those beliefs (this important to discover about yourself, Christian or not). Mercy and grace are especially important in times of questions about where the line is.

[Inna]

You [-]guys[/-] gals must not be aware of this passage?:

And John looked upon him and asked, "why are you draped in your wife's cloth?" Bartholomeo approached John and with the smile replied: "I feel festive and joyful and today is the first day of my new life" John felt puzzled but at this time he also noticed female sandals upon Bartholomeos feet: "and I see that you are wearing your wife's roman strappy sandals". "John, you are mistaken, these I have bought at the sale, yesterday, near galileya, the price was fantastic" Bartholomeo replied. John was still quite in shock but was truly surprised by his friends ability to put items together is such a matching ways. At this time the master was passing by and after smiling upon both of them said: "Oh my Bartholomeou, I have the same pair of sandals my self, aren't they fab" They all rejoiced and felt the good spirit come over them and joy of being free fulfilled their hearts.


For those that are hyper religious, if I have offended you please accept my apology, above statement reflects sense of humor which often seems to be missing from the scripture and I am sure the almighty, an omnipotent deity, has plenty of it, after all if she herself had created everything she also created sense of humor :)

[NathalieX66]

Deuteronomy 22:5.......Old Testament stuff.

[Michelle_CD]

Cassandra,

Living behind the zion curtain isn't easy for a CD. I am in SLC and there are a few more on this board that live along the wasatch front. There is a local Tri-ess chapter that has some wonderful ladies in it. I have only been to the meetings a couple of times but have had a fun time with them. Good luck with the job hunt.

[Eryn]

..."and I see that you are wearing your wife's roman strappy sandals". "John, you are mistaken, these I have bought at the sale, yesterday, near galileya, the price was fantastic"...

Thank you for the chuckle! :)

[Fab Karen]

Jesus never said anything against LGBT people. & Never put your faith in people who preach hate.

[eluuzion]

Here are a few options. The Utah Pride Center toward the bottom of this list looks like it has potential to me...:)

:hugs:


UTAH

COUNSELING

Colette Malan, LCSW
3670 Quincy ave. Suite 101
Ogden, Ut. 84403
(801) 334-7217

Daniel Rapp, MD
1414 East 4500 SOUTH Holliday, Suite 4
Salt Lake City, Ut. 84117
(801) 272-3448

LeAnn S. State st.
Salt Lake City, Ut. 84115
(801) 467-2072

ENDOCRINOLOGISTS

Dr. Alireza Falahati-Nini, MD
470 East 3900 South
Salt Lake City, Ut. 84107
(801) 747-2800

Dr. James R. Grua, MD
333 South 900 East
Salt Lake City, Ut. 84102-2310
(801) 535-8163

Dr. Robert Burr, MD, FACP, FACE
807 East South Temple
Salt Lake City, Ut. 84102-1339

COMMUNITY CENTERS

Utah Pride Center
361 North 300 West
Salt Lake City, Ut. 84103
(801) 539-8800
www.utahpridecenter.org

Therapist search engine
http://therapists.americanmentalhealth.com/therapistlocator.trust

:love:

[CynthiaD]

I am deeply religious, and hardly a day goes by that I don't thank God for making me the way I am -- transgendered. I was raised Catholic, and was an altar boy. I used to love watching the priest dress for mass, because he would kiss each of the vestments before putting it on to thank God for the privilege of wearing it. When putting on female clothing I often do the same thing to thank God for the privilege of wearing these pretty things.

Recently I suffered a very painful injury in a freak accident that was in no way my fault. A few times I was tempted to blame God for my pain, but then I would think to myself "I know you love me Lord, because if you didn't, you wouldn't have made me transgendered." I found tremendous comfort in this thought.

I think your troubles are due in a major part to being unemployed. I've been there and it's really demoralizing. Work on that first, and remember that God is always with you.

CK

[MaidInCan]

Trying to help Cassandra face her inner feelings related to crossdressing by providing resources and experiences from which she can get some encouragement is one thing. Trying to address her religions feelings is an area that should not be touched. It is bound to create controversy besides being assumptive and presumptive. Let her find good counselling and I am sure they would be able to make suggestions which she can deal with. There is no sense in having to have the moderators step in to deal with replies to any comments related to the religions aspects.

[Kathi Lake]

Cassandra, as others have mentioned, you have some priorities in your life. As I tell my kids, "First do what you have to do, and if you still have time, do what you want to do."

First, you have to find a job! They are out there - even in Utah. Once you get a job and get established, you'll have time to worry about 'the other stuff.' Honestly hon, put it out of your mind for now. Take care of yourself, relax, go to church if you feel, . . . just be.

Once that is behind you, I'm sure that you'll find that you'll feel better about yourself. Therapy? Sure. It has its uses. I think that you'll find that you are stronger than you think you are. Dig inside yourself and, like Eluuzion said, never give up.

I have to agree with Cynthia - I am honestly thankful for who and what God made me. I view my life and my 'situation' as a blessing! I can't believe just how much I would have missed in life had I not been this way. So, leave the guilt tightly-wrapped in a bag by the side of the road, allowing it to die the slow and painful death it deserves for causing you such misery. :)

Kathi (another Utah gal)

[Natalee]

Hello Cassandra, another Utahn here! On this site alone there are several dozen Utahns by my count; and obviously thousands of others who are not on this site. Kathy L, Michelle and I have all had sightings in the wild. Just because you are in Utah, doesn't mean you are alone in your interests.

Shame is in the eye of people you probably wouldn't associate with daily by your choosing, anyhow. The best epiphany I've ever had in life is; I realized that I don't care what others do or look like (as long as it doesn't harm me or others), even if they do something embarrsing. After that, my personal/outward embarrassments/shames/nerves fell in line, by knowing others really don't care either. And those who do, are non-enlightened fools; and truly who cares about what a crazy person thinks?! As long as you don't harm others or engage in a truly GROSS action, there is no true metric of "shame".

I totally agree with everybody's observation, that once you get the foundations established, like job; the other luxuries will fall into line. When I was unemployed in 2002 I was FREAKING out in every possible way. Noting was going right, and nothing was enjoyable until I fixed the foundation problem. During this time I had Little to NO time for luxuries, and distractions.

And clothing does not make the person. Your actions and intentions are the only measurement of your soul. Who cares if you wear chick clothes?? S*it, you may even look good in them...